TBH, No One Can EVER Know

by Lisa Greenwald

CECILY

  Oh

  Really?

  VICTORIA

  Ugh yeah

  Tomorrow after school everyone come to my

  VICTORIA

  My mom isn’t really letting me out of the house for a while but she said I can have friends over @ my place

  Let’s all hang in person

  Want to talk to all of you & have a to

  Can’t talk freely over text

  CECILY

  Ok I’m free

  GABRIELLE

  Same

  Unless I have to walk the dog again LOL

  PRIANKA

  Hahahahahahaha

  K see u all then

  PRIANKA

  Going to write more poetry

  GABRIELLE

  So psyched for you & your win, Pri

  CECILY

  ME TOO

  Mwah

  VICTORIA

  YEA, PRI

  GABRIELLE

  Xoxo

  Gabrielle, Ivy

  GABRIELLE

  Hiiiiiii

  How’s the snow day

  IVY

  Fun

  Yours

  GABRIELLE

  Fun except blahhhhh I keep having to walk my neighbor’s

  & Pri won a poetry contest

  I feel like I stink @ everything

  IVY

  Gabssssss

  IVY

  You need to

  You’re so hard on yourself

  You’re an amazing person & friend & ILY

  GABRIELLE

  I am I know

  But wahhhhh

  IVY

  K go chill

  Snow day & everything

  No sadness

  GABRIELLE

  Ugh ok

  How do I find my passion

  Top interests for middle schoolers

  What am I good at

  How do I find out what I’m good at

  Quiz to find out what you’re good at

  Personality quiz to discover passions

  #MaRIPa

  Cecily, Mara

  CECILY

  Hi

  Feel so bad for Marisa

  MARA

  Yeah

  She feels sooo embarrassed

  MARA

  I feel bad for Vic, too

  Her mom just totally screamed @ everyone and like dragged her away

  CECILY

  Can’t believe I was there and missed all the #MaRIPa drama

  MARA

  Yeah that’s really weird

  No offense

  Also don’t type that

  CECILY

  OK

  I had an idea, though

  MARA

  What?

  CECILY

  It just came to me

  Out of the blue

  What if I got a social media presence but used it as a force for good

  MARA

  Force for good LOL

  CECILY

  For real, tho

  Wanted to ask u before I ask my other friends

  We can all be our best selves so parents don’t need to spy

  #MaRIPa inspired it

  My mom spies, too

  Sorry I typed it again

  CECILY

  Does your mom spy?

  MARA

  Duh

  All moms do

  This is a smart idea

  CECILY

  So you like?

  MARA

  Yeah!

  CECILY

  K gonna use this snow day to see if I can be allowed to have an account

  Discuss with the mother etc

  MARA

  K good luck

  MARA

  Stay warm

  CECILY

  You too

  Positive Vibes

  VICTORIA

  Good morning, friends

  So excited you’re all coming over today

  Hellooooooo

  Where are youuuuuu

  See u at school

  More Positive Vibes

  CECILY

  K guys hi

  So glad we’re all together rn

  Serious talk, tho, so please no emojis

  Can’t get distracted

  PRIANKA

  Um lol ok

  Also hi

  CECILY

  Let’s text or whisper so we don’t freak out Mama Melford @ all

  Also I brought a new special notebook

  CECILY

  You know how I am with notebooks lol and this one is gonna be a little diff

  We’ll only use it for super secret stuff that we’re a little scared to say out loud

  Wish I’d thought of this when I told u guys I like girls but whatevs

  PRIANKA

  Such a good idea, Cece

  CECILY

  Thx

  CECILY

  Vic, are u ok with it

  VICTORIA

  Yesssss but nervous to have it in writing

  Always nervous about snooping from the moms

  Well my mom I guess

  GABRIELLE

  Same

  VICTORIA

  Do all of your moms snoop on stuff

  Be honest

  GABRIELLE

  Mine def does

  CECILY

  So does mine

  PRIANKA

  Duh Mama Basak snoops allllll the time

  VICTORIA

  That’s a little bit of a relief

  GABRIELLE

  Kinda love this notebook idea & that we can all confess secrets in one place

  We will be super careful guarding this one

  CECILY

  We are always careful duh

  GABRIELLE

  K true

  CECILY

  Let’s get started

  VICTORIA

  I know you guys heard by now from people . . .

  VICTORIA

  But does everyone at school know my mom saw that post & that’s why she picked me up early

  The people who were there when she picked me up from sledding obv know . . .

  GABRIELLE

  I don’t fully know what happened

  Bits and pieces here and there

  Can you explain, Vic?

  VICTORIA

  Ok so . . .

  THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING but

  She started yelling and lecturing everyone about social cruelty and saying how they should all be ashamed of themselves

  But Jared wasn’t even there!!

  PRIANKA

  Ummm

  Confused

  VICTORIA

  Did you all hear all of this or no

  CECILY

  Not all of it

  GABRIELLE

  TBH people are more focused on Marisa I think

  She’s the one who should be sooooo embarrassed

  I mean hello

  #MaRIPa

  So don’t worry too much about everyone talking about you and your mom

  VICTORIA

  Ok

  Little relief

  I delete every text thread as quickly as I can so my mom can’t see it but she usually only snoops on my comp when I’m not home and I’m home now so . . . hopefully safe

  CECILY

  K

  Stop texting now, tho

  Notebook time

  GABRIELLE

  Lol

  OK, since I bought the notebook I’m starting this off. This is our safest space ever. Where we can confess our innermost thoughts, share everything we want to without saying it out loud.

  Now and forever your friend and truest confidant, Cecily Anderson

  Please sign at the bottom of your entry—a contract of sorts that we are all true to one another and safeguarders of each other’s secrets.

  Also: IF YOU ARE NOT CECILY, PRIANKA, GABRIELLE, or VICTORIA, YOU DEFINITELY SHOULD NOT BE READING THIS. STOP NOW!!!!

  * * *

  OK, I’m starting. I’m sorry I didn’
t tell you right away that my mom saw that post and made a whole scene when she picked me up early from sledding. I was sooooooo embarrassed and sort of thought it would just go away. I couldn’t even talk about it.

  Yeah, she snoops on social media when I forget to log out of my accounts on my computer. She reads my texts on my computer when I’m not home. I try to delete all threads but they don’t always delete. It’s so confusing! She’s sooooo overprotective and it’s a huge issue. And I want it to stop.

  Soooooooooo . . . I’ve been thinking about it a lot and here’s why I think she’s so overprotective. THIS IS TOP TOP SECRET. NEVER TELL ANYONE.

  When I was four, I begged her to go swimming one day. She kept saying later, later, later. We had to go to the mall to help my dad find suits because he was starting a new job. Anyway, all I wanted to do was swim, so I wandered off at the mall, my parents had no idea . . . I took off my clothes (except undies, duh) and went swimming in the mall fountain.

  She was so panicked that I was lost and then when they found me she was SOOOO mortified. Obviously. And it ended up in the local newspaper, on the internet, etc.

  Headline: Care for a swim?

  DO NOT GOOGLE IT. (PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT GOOGLE IT.)

  Also, soooooo scared my mom won’t let me go to the Valentine’s Day dance after all of this, and because she gets freaked when there’s any possibility of dates or mischief or ANYTHING AT ALL. I mean, she’s not even letting me go to people’s houses right now.

  HELP ME!!!!!!!

  * * *

  Ummmmmm. Wow, that is a lot to take in. I do not know how to respond yet. You were so mischievous, Vic! I love you. I am here for you!!!!

  * * *

  Wow, Vic. Way too much to write by hand right now. Can we please move this to be a talking thing? Now that it’s out in the open. Do you want to leave here and go to my tree house? So private. Haven’t been up there in a while & feeling nostalgic. Ooh! Poem alert!

  * * *

  Oh, good idea, Pri! Let’s do that!!!! OK, Vic? Will your mom let you leave? I love you!!!! HERE FOR YOU FOREVER. DUH.

  * * *

  I’m not really allowed but maybe. I can beg her and say it’s for a science project. Let me go check. Xoxo

  The Squad

  VICTORIA

  So that was a no

  She doesn’t want me going out right now

  CECILY

  Ok

  PRIANKA

  It’s cold anyway for tree house

  We’d have to really bundle

  GABRIELLE

  So so so sorry you’re dealing with this, Vic

  Are we still going no emojis?

  PRIANKA

  LOL

  CECILY

  Can we whisper-talk in person now?

  Tired of texting

  VICTORIA

  Me too

  Prianka, Sage

  SAGE

  Hi, Pri, my love!

  PRIANKA!

  Hi

  SAGE

  Just wanted to say congrats again

  SAGE

  Proud of you

  PRIANKA

  Awwwww thank you my poetry BFF

  SAGE

  Mwahhhhhhhhhhh

  VALENTINE’S DAY IS COMING UP

  Attention, students! The Valentine’s Day dance is coming up very soon and it will be better than ever!

  Planning meeting Friday after school.

  Come and share your ideas!

  See you there!

  Hearts for all!

  The Squad

  GABRIELLE

  Omg u guys

  I just had the best idea

  U know how the dance needs to have some kind of community service element

  What do u think about doing something with St. Francis

  PRIANKA

  GABRIELLE

  Bc it’s the heart hospital ya know

  Get it, hearts? Valentine’s Day?

  GABRIELLE

  Ohhhh and my neighbor was there for her heart surgery

  Just remembered

  My dog-owning neighbor!

  CECILY

  Omg, Gabs

  Such a good idea

  That’s where my had her open-heart surgery

  VICTORIA

  Ooh

  Sorry just catching up

  CECILY

  Bring it up at the planning meeting, Gabs

  GABRIELLE

  But I don’t really have any more ideas

  Like how it would connect

  It just came to me

  CECILY

  K well give it some thought

  GABRIELLE

  Lol k

  Hiiiiii!!!! So I’m still on this quest to find my passion and so far it’s not going great. I feel like I need to DO something big. Like all along I’ve just been coasting and now I really want to do something. The problem is, I can’t really come up with any ideas. Plus I feel like I suck. I don’t really have much confidence. It’s like I want to do something but I also kind of want someone to just do it for me. Ughhhh . . . grrrrrr. Why am I even telling you this? You’re a journal. You can’t help me.

  Xoxox Gabs

  PS Sorry that was rude

  Sometimes I want to go sit in my tree house

  It would be easy to do

  Right in my backyard

  My dad even built steps up the tree

  I don’t, though

  Not sure why

  I always think about it

  But I never go

  I think something happens and you realize

  You can’t go back

  To something that once was

  Another time

  Another phase

  Even though the place is still there

  Going back just doesn’t seem right

  In one way it would be so easy

  But in all the other ways it’s impossible

  Prianka the Magnificent

  Vishal, Prianka

  VISHAL

  Yo

  Are u involved in this Valentine’s Day dance at all

  PRIANKA

  Not yet

  I may go to planning meeting

  Why

  VISHAL

  Just curious

  Are peeps bringing dates

  PRIANKA

  Lol

  PRIANKA

  How would I know

  VISHAL

  Hahaha

  No clue

  U know this stuff

  PRIANKA

  Not really but thank you

  VISHAL

  Jennie’s this weekend?

  BURRATA STUFFED WITH BURRATA

  PRIANKA

  Kk I’m in

  VISHAL

  Awesome

  Meet there Saturday @ 6 pm

  PRIANKA

  Kk

  VISHAL

  Jared is in soooo much trouble from #MaRIPa

  Suspended for a week

  PRIANKA

  Whoa

  VISHAL

  I know

  He’s dumb

  Peace

  PRIANKA

  Peace

  How do you know if you are on a first date

  Best first dates

  Worst first dates

  How young is too young for dating

  Does the person need to pick you up for it to be a date?

  #MaRIPa

  Victoria Melford

  Melford PA

  girl in fountain Melford

  Priscilla Melford

  Melford Fountain

  Vishal

  This boy

  One day I like him

  Then I get nervous

  Maybe I don’t like him

  I think this is normal

  But maybe it’s not

  I was told not to google

  I did it anyway

  I feel bad

  Not telling a soul

  Confession done

  Prianka the Magnificent

/>   The Squad

  PRIANKA

  Guyssssssss

  Vishal & I are really going to Jennie’s this weekend

  OMG

  Hellloooooooooo

  Cecily, Mom

  CECILY

  Hi, Mom

  CECILY

  I wondered if you’ve given any more thought to my social media request

  Hello????

  MOM

  Hi

  CECILY

  I want you all to trust us and stop snooping on us

  All the moms snoop

  MOM

  Heading back from grocery store. We can discuss when I get home. See you soon. Love you

  CECILY

  OK

  Love you too

  The Squad Forever

  GABRIELLE

  Guyssssssssss

  I am sooo not motivated to do any work

  This time of year is sooo blahhhh

  CECILY

  I feel you

  But we have Valentine’s Day to look forward to

  PRIANKA

  Oh

  Guess what

  Vishal asked about dates for the dance when we talked about Jennie’s plans

  VICTORIA

  WDYM

  PRIANKA

  Like if people are bringing dates

  I was like how would I know lol

  CECILY

  Omg he totally wants to go with you

  VICTORIA

  Agree

  GABRIELLE

  Yessss

  ALSO CECE IS DONE WITH EMOJI HIATUS?!

  CECILY

  LOL

  PRIANKA

  Chill guys

  You guys never responded to my news

  Vishal and I are going to Jennie’s THIS WEEKEND

  CECILY

  OMG

  How did we miss this?

  GABRIELLE

  DOUBLE OMG

  VICTORIA

  That’s fab, Pri

  Here’s my plan

  PRIANKA

  Plan for what?

  VICTORIA

  To get myself to the dance

  VICTORIA

  I’m gonna do so much work for the dance there’s no way my mom can say no

  My neighbor owns a party company and I’m gonna see if she can donate cool stuff

  Photo booth maybe?

  OH OH OH