Chapter Thirty-One
Hope was grateful for the change of clothing and the chance to bathe in the nearby stream. The daily pitcher of water had helped her keep herself as fresh as possible but a good bathing was what she needed.
She and Faith eagerly joined the village women as they gathered to talk, bathe and wash garments. A woman close to Hope’s size provided a fresh linen shift and another offered a tunic that she was able to make fit with the help of her cloth belt.
Faith was also provided with fresh garments while hers were washed and though she had insisted on seeing to the task herself, the other women would not hear of it. They were most insistent that she rest and grateful to her for having seen to a few ailing villagers.
Hope sat beside Faith on a brown wool blanket, each of them busy combing their wet hair.
Faith sighed and gave up almost as soon as she had started. I seem to grow tired much too often lately.”
Hope finished her own hair with a few rough strokes, the short cut making it easy to handle when wet or dry. She took Faith’s comb from her hands, kneeled behind her and with a gentle touch, began to comb the mass of flaming red ringlets.
“Are you concerned about the babe?”
“I feel well and I have experienced no discomfort.”
Hope waited for her to continue, for something obviously concerned her.
“I wonder if my child grows impatient inside me.”
“You think the babe wishes to make an early appearance?”
“I have no signs of early delivery,” Faith said, but doubt could be heard in her voice.
Hope worked the bone comb through the thick ringlets. “You sound as if you may feel otherwise.”
“A feeling is all I have.”
“Is not that all a woman needs? A simple feeling tells a woman much.”
“Aye, that it does,” Faith agreed. “If a woman would listen and follow what she knows to be so.”
“But we can be a stubborn lot,” Hope said with a laugh.
“True enough. Even when a feeling nags at us we sometimes ignore it and suffer the consequences.”
“Then we must not ignore your feeling about the babe,” Hope insisted. “We must return you to Shanekill as soon as possible.” Hope continued to run the comb through the mass of wet curls, the tangles nearly gone.
“It should not be long now. Borg should arrive any day, and besides, there are many experienced women here who could help birth a babe. And, of course, I have you. I would be in safe hands.”
Hope was honored that she trusted her and though her experience with actual births was limited she was confident she could provide the necessary care. “I would do all I could to help deliver your babe safely.”
“The babe sees to most of it,” Faith said with a yawn.
“Have you spoken of your concerns with Lord Eric?”
Faith laughed. “Good heavens, never. He worries enough now as it is. If he thought there was a possibility of me delivering early he would not be fit to live with. Nay,” she confirmed with a shake of her head. “I will not speak of this to him.”
“Not speak of what to me?”
The two women did not bother to turn around, though the sudden sound of the Devil’s voice behind them had caused their bodies to jump in surprise.
Eric walked around to confront them and Hope was not surprised to see Colin with him.
“Do I get an answer, wife?” he asked, the confidence in his voice obvious.
“Nay,” Faith said on a sigh and took the comb from Hope so she could comb at the curly strands that lay over her chest.
Hope watched the way the Devil grew annoyed and Colin smirked. He seemed to delight in the confrontation that was about to take place, but then he had often commented how right the pair was for each other.
Hope moved from behind Faith to sit at her side and in a way demonstrate her support.
Faith acknowledged her support with a pat to her hand.
The Devil had remained silent long enough and while he attempted to control his annoyance he was obviously having difficulty doing so. “Nay? I ask you a question and you refuse to answer me?”
Faith spoke calmly. “You asked me if you would get an answer and I spoke the truth.”
Colin covered his smile with his hand.
Eric turned to him. “You have something to say?”
“Nay, my lord,” he wisely responded.
“Do not pick at Colin, he has done nothing,” Faith said, remaining calm.
“You forever defend him,” Eric snapped.
“He is my friend and would do the same for me.”
“Aye, I would,” Colin agreed.
“Very well,” Eric said, looking from one to the other. “Then I shall ask an impartial person.” He turned his attention on Hope. “What does my wife not tell me?”
“That is not fair, Eric; you ask her to break a confidence,” Faith demanded, annoyance now evident in her voice.
“This was spoken to you in confidence?” Eric asked of Hope.
Hope looked to Faith and then at the Devil. “I took it as such.”
Eric crouched down in front of Hope. “I love my wife very much, Hope. I would give my life for her. I worry needlessly more often than not but it is my way. I ask you as a friend to her and me. Please tell me if I should worry now.”
Hope understood love, having fallen so deeply in love with Colin; therefore she understood how Eric felt. It was a vulnerable feeling and one foreign to a warrior, and yet he admitted his emotions. He was not ashamed of them and that won her heart.
She looked to Faith. “You are lucky he loves you so very much.”
Faith understood her dilemma and quickly took charge. “He was stubborn about loving me at first.”
“I was not,” Eric objected vehemently.
“Was he not, Colin?” Faith asked.
“I must agree with Lady Faith,” Colin said. “You were a stubborn one.”
Eric stood. “And you are not?”
“I have my moments,” Colin admitted.
“We are not talking about moments of stubbornness. We are talking about stubbornness when it comes to love, and if anyone is stubborn about love it is you,” Eric said adamantly.
“True enough,” Faith said.
Colin looked wounded that Faith should agree with her husband.
Hope remained silent and deeply interested in the exchange of opinions.
Colin disputed their claim. “I am not stubborn about love—”
Eric laughed, interrupting him. “You charm your way around the elusive emotion.”
“Are you suggesting that I avoid love?”
“Aye,” Eric and Faith said in unison.
Hope simply smiled.
Colin shook his head and insisted, “Love did not see fit to find me.”
“You never looked with open eyes,” Eric challenged.
Colin was about to respond when Hope spoke up, capturing everyone’s attention. “Perhaps you fear to love.”
Colin looked ready to object when suddenly he held his tongue and remained silent.
Eric reached down to help his wife up. “Come, we need to talk.”
Faith agreed, grateful for her husband’s strength as he easily lifted her up to stand. “Aye, that we do. I will be honest with you, my lord.”
“You always are,” he said with a nibble to her neck and a supporting and loving arm around her waist. They walked off together, content in each other’s arms.
Colin watched them for a moment before joining Hope on the blanket. He looked directly at her. Last night the realization of his feelings for her startled him and he was still coming to understand and accept them. He had wished to find love, thought he looked for it, but never had he thought he avoided it. Had he feared to love all these years? And why was it different now with this pint-sized woman?
She felt uncomfortable, as if her words had somehow personally intruded on him, and she attempted to take them back. “
I sometimes speak without thinking.”
He shook his head. “Nay, your words were spoken in haste but they were spoken with good intention.” He gave her a teasing poke. “Though your mouth does not mind itself at times.”
“It minds itself all right,” she said with a heavy sigh. “That is why I find myself in trouble more often than not, for I speak what I feel.”
“You feel that I fear to love?” He wanted to know more of what she thought.
“It is possible. We often run from our deepest fears.”
“Have you?”
She laughed. “You were sent to find me, were you not?”
He smiled, though it faded as he asked, “What did you fear that made you run?”
She paused in her answer.
He poked at her. “And do not tell me that you feared you would never experience a grand adventure.”
Her smile was childlike. “I like adventures.”
He ran a gentle finger down her cheek and across her lips. “What was your fear?”
She was honest. “I feared I would never know true love. Never know what it was like to love someone so very much that it actually hurt when you were parted from them. To crave a man’s touch or hunger for his kiss and know that he was the only one who could ever please or satisfy you.” She paused and with reluctance added, “And to know that he felt the same in return.”
“So you ran away to find love?”
She covered his hand where it rested on her cheek with hers. “I ran to find love. You ran from love.”
All these years, all the women. Had he truly run away from love? Had he truly feared finding love?
She offered him more answers, their joined hands drifting to rest in her lap. “My mother and father loved deeply and I will always remember that special love they shared. It was rare and it was beautiful. And I wanted to know a love such as theirs. And while I knew it would not be easy to find, I knew I must at least attempt a search or I would always wonder.”
“Your courage took you on your search.”
She shook her head and smiled. “Nay, it was my fear that urged me to go.”
He never spoke of his family to anyone but he felt the need to share his past with her. “My mother and father cared naught for each other. Theirs was an arranged marriage, loveless and emotionless. What love I did find was with an older woman who understood what I needed. She taught me that true love is unselfish and what your parents had discovered … true love is rare. Having tasted from her a mere sample of what true love could be and never having known it from my parents, I suppose my inclination was to run so I would not suffer the hurt and disappointment of never finding love.”
He shook his head and gripped her hand tightly. “Love is difficult.”
“Only if we choose to make it so.”
“You chose to make it difficult,” he said.
“How so?”
He explained. “You love me and yet you—” He paused, a question popping into his head that made him wonder. “When did you realize you loved me?”
“When we were traveling.”
“But—” He shook his head. “I do not understand. I never kissed you or touched you and yet you fell in love with me?”
“Aye, I fell in love with you.”
“You barely knew me.”
“Nay, I got to know you well. And glad of it I was. You became my best friend, someone who cared for me, someone I could trust, someone I could depend on if need be.” She smiled. “You showed me who you were in many ways. Ways I would never have gotten to know if we had met as a man and a woman.”
Colin cringed, recalling the many discussions around the campfire. “You heard much you should not have.”
She laughed with delight and squeezed his hand. “Nay, I loved listening to the men and learning about them. I had no knowledge of how men actually thought or felt. Most seemed selfish and self-indulgent. Talking with the men made me realize that most of their bluster is an act to hide their true emotions. They fear their own feelings, thinking of them as weaknesses instead of strengths.”
He looked at her with amazement. “You are remarkable.”
She blushed at the compliment. “You think so?”
“I have known only one other woman who could talk with such intelligence and never did I imagine I would meet another.”
Her smile teased. “But you wished for me, did you not?”
He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. “Aye, I wished for you on every bright star and every whispered breath.” He gently kissed the back of her hand again.
She felt the sensual tingle grab hold. It tickled, tormented and tempted at all her intimate places. And she could have surrendered right there and then to him, but she had to ask the one question that continued to nag at her. “Could you love me?”
Her boldness should not startle him, and yet it did.
Her fingers rushed to still his lips. “I need you to love me as much as I love you. I want no less of a love. It must be a forever love. If you cannot give me this then please never speak of love to me. Cherish and care for me as I know you will, but please do not hurt me with meaningless words.”
He admired her courage and respected her request and at that moment he could have spoken of love to her. But would it be a forever love? Did he feel that strongly or was it the moment and their surroundings that made him feel so emotionally attached to her? He wanted to be certain. He did not wish to disappoint her or himself. It would not be fair to either of them.
His hesitation spoke loudly in the silence and her hand dropped away from his mouth. She eased the tension with a change of conversation. “I should tell you that Faith feels the babe may arrive early.”
It worked. Colin grew alarmed. “This is what she did not wish to tell Eric?”
Hope nodded, relieved that she had succeeded in diverting his attention so quickly.
“He will worry when he learns of this and make demands of Rath.”
“Faith is in good hands here. The village women have delivered many a babe and they are good, caring women.”
“True enough,” Colin agreed, worry remaining heavy on his face. “The small group is a close lot and protective of each other. And they have treated us well. They are far from the common thieves that prey and rob with malice.”
“I have thought the same myself.” Her heart continued to feel heavy over his silence to her question, but she would not allow him to see her hurt. She did as a man would and hid her true feelings.
“Rath speaks little of himself and of this group. He did mention that the law was meant to benefit only a chosen few and the rest of society was forced to follow their harsh dictates. He felt otherwise. And I think his firm convictions are the reason he is presently in this situation, for he certainly is not a common thief.”
Her hand continued to rest in his and he made no move to release her so she lingered in the warmth of his touch. “I agree. The villagers speak highly of him and it would seem that they follow him with trust and devotion.”
“The men fight at his side without doubt to their cause.” He shook his head with a smile. “But then I did the same with Eric.”
“You trust him.”
“Aye, from the first moment we met, I knew he was a man of his word and a man who would march into battle leading his men. He would expect of his men what he expected of himself. He is a man of honor and I am proud to call him friend.”
“And these people feel the same of Rath as you feel for the Devil, do they not?”
Colin squeezed her hand. “I felt it when we first arrived. It was strange to see the same respect and admiration given to the Devil also given to this thief by this small lot. Yet their trust is palpable.”
“You sound as if you respect him as well.”
He shook his head. “Crazy as it seems, Eric and I were speaking of our admiration for the thief. The more we come to know him, the more of our respect he earns, and he does treat Eric with due respect. I almost f
eel that he would not stop us if we chose to leave, though the promised coins are important to him. They will supply these people with needed supplies.”
Hope looked around the camp at the women and men who talked and laughed and the children who ran about playing. They were a content group thanks to the man who led them.
“During my journey I met up with many who were hungry and homeless. Theirs was a sorry lot and it hurt me to discover that many suffer while many others indulge.”
“It is the way of life. The strong always rule and the strong always survive. You survived, though you were near to starving when I found you.”
She poked at him. “It was I who found you. I watched you set up camp and I waited.”
“You spied on me?” he asked with surprise.
“For a time,” she said proudly.
“I cannot believe I did not discover you lurking about earlier in the evening. My men combed the area before we settled for the night and then stood guard.”
“Lady and I easily avoided them. They are not hard to miss while I, this skinny lad, could hide without difficulty.”
“For a lad you were skinny. For a woman I find you perfect.”
She did not believe her ears. “You think me perfect?”
He leaned down and stole a brief kiss before he answered, “Your body is pure perfection.”
The sensual tingle started all over again and this time she did not wish to ignore it. She wished to surrender to it. She sighed lightly and grabbed hold more tightly of his hand.
He understood her need for he felt it himself.
He ran a faint kiss across her lips and whispered near her ear. “I want you.”
She shuddered from the tingle that rushed through her body and nestled between her legs to leave her moist with the want of him. And she told him so. “And I you.”
He stood, his hand tugging at hers to pull her up along with him.
He slipped his arm around her and tugged her close to his side as they walked to the small cottage. “My need is great.”
Lords of the Kingdom Page 103