by Barbara Gee
Andi laughed, her face a picture of contentment. “You are indeed my woman, and I’m so glad you know. Charlie and I want to wait until I’m three months along before telling, but I’ve only known for three weeks and I’m already going crazy holding it in.” She perched on the edge of her desk, her new top clutched to her chest. “So are you really ready to hear about my raging hormones and my near constant need to vomit?”
Izzy flinched. “Uh, you bet, but I can’t right now. I need to get back to the gym. Lunch tomorrow?”
“It’s a date,” Andi promised. “Be good until then, Izzy. No chasing after new volunteers and trying to sprinkle them with happy dust.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Izzy muttered, frowning at the reminder of Tanner James. “Have a good evening, little mama. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Izzy walked back down the deserted hallway, ever so tempted to swing by the stable area to get another glimpse of the new volunteer. She resisted, though, because she did have some pride, and although it pained her to admit it, Tanner really did see her as bothersome. Which was more than a little humiliating to someone whose warm and bubbly personality was normally well received. Did he really want to be left alone and ignored? Who would choose that and why?
Izzy picked up her pace. She wouldn’t bother him again today, but that didn’t mean she was going to forget about him. She’d tread carefully, but mister tall, dark, and rude hadn’t seen the last of her.
One way or another, she’d get that smile.
CHAPTER 3
The afternoon felt disjointed and weird. Izzy had trouble concentrating, and a pair of cold dark eyes kept coming to mind. She was glad when Jolene Kendall, the woman who was helping train her to take over the PT department, suggested they have dinner together in the retreat center’s cafeteria. Jolene’s husband, Boone, was still in Minneapolis, doing end-of-season promotional things for the professional hockey team he captained, and Jolene didn’t feel like spending the whole evening alone.
Since it was an off-week, the cafeteria wasn’t busy. A few clusters of volunteers and staff were scattered throughout the room, but the hustle, bustle and noise of retreat weeks was absent.
The two women mostly talked shop as they enjoyed salads and grilled chicken. Jolene had so much knowledge to impart, and Izzy never tired of picking her brain. She’d been a fantastic mentor to both Izzy and Lowell Short, the other physical therapist on staff. Two years ago Izzy and Lowell had been interns together, and after that Lowell had stayed on as a full-time staff member. He’d done so well he’d taken over the PT department when Jolene got married and moved to Minneapolis. Jolene still consulted with him regularly, and spent her summers working at the center, but she’d been good about handing Lowell the reins and letting him run with it.
Izzy had already finished school and moved to Chicago when Lowell took the helm, but she’d kept in touch and was happy he’d been given the opportunity. Their continued cordial relationship had been a big factor in her decision to return to the ranch when another full-time position in the PT department had opened up.
Now, however, Lowell was engaged to one of the veterans who had attended a retreat there a year ago, and in a month he’d be leaving to join his fiancé in Alabama where she was from. Izzy had only been back at the ranch working for six months, but Jolene and the two couples who owned and managed the retreat center, Ryan and Libby Anderson, and Tuck and Maddy Simon, had all insisted she was ready to take on the responsibility of running the department. She was their top pick, and they were confident she could do the job.
After lots of prayer, Izzy had accepted the offer, and Jolene and Lowell had been working hard for the past month to train her on the administrative side of things. The physical therapy part was easy, as Izzy had a lot of experience and loved the work, but getting used to the paperwork and the supervisory aspects of her new position would be a challenge. One she was eager to tackle, however.
“Lowell’s going to let you be in charge of the intern arriving on Thursday,” Jolene informed her as they finished up their meal. “He’ll be staying in the staff dorms. You’ll need to make sure his room assignment is finalized, and get his personnel file set up.”
Izzy nodded. “I’ll email him the employee handbook so he can read through that before he comes, too, but I want to change the section on work-day schedules first, since we decided to move the daily staff meetings from afternoon to the morning.”
Jolene nodded approvingly. “Good thinking. And by the way, Libby said they’re actually over-staffed with volunteers from the community right now, so if you need someone to come in and do any of the office busy-work for you, just let her know.”
“I’ll do that,” Izzy promised.
“It’s a good problem to have—so many people wanting to help out here,” Jolene said happily.
That brought another volunteer to mind. Izzy shoved her half eaten salad aside and rested her elbows on the table, frowning at her friend and mentor. She hadn’t planned on mentioning the man she’d met that afternoon, but now that Jolene had reminded her of him, she couldn’t help herself.
“Speaking of volunteers, why didn’t you tell me about the new guy over at the barn?”
Jolene attempted to look casual and unconcerned. “Which guy? I think we have a couple new ones over there.”
“Oh come on, Jolene,” Izzy said, exasperated. “You know which one, but the fact you’re pretending you don’t totally answers my question.” She sat back and folded her arms, her eyes narrowing. “You were afraid I’d hit on him.”
Jolene winced. “No, Izzy, that’s not it. Not exactly, anyway.”
“Not exactly?” Izzy tilted her head, waiting for her friend to spell it out.
“Okay, well, I guess I was afraid you’d be tempted to hit on him,” Jolene clarified. “I met him over at Tuck and Maddy’s the night he got here, and he’s obviously gorgeous. I know you’ve done a complete one-eighty over the past two years, but I thought maybe—”
“You thought I’d make a fool of myself over him,” Izzy interrupted grumpily. Not that she didn’t understand why Jolene might think that. The Izzy of her internship, whom Jolene had known very well, would have totally tried to jump the new guy’s bones. That wasn’t the case anymore, though and it was a little disappointing to realize that the last month they’d spent working together, day after day after day, hadn’t convinced Jolene that she truly had changed.
“No, that’s not true,” Jolene replied quickly. “Thinking you might be tempted isn’t the same as thinking you’d do it.”
The explanation didn’t satisfy Izzy. “I’m capable of being in the company of good-looking men without falling into my old ways. I mean, come on, Jolene, you and I have been working together on and off for half a year now, and we’ve been together almost every single day for the past month. What do I need to do to convince you I’ve changed?”
Jolene leaned forward. “Nothing, Izzy, I can see that clearly, but none of us are totally immune to temptation. I’ll admit, if I didn’t have Boone, Tanner James is the kind of man who would definitely turn my head. Surely you don’t deny he’s an incredibly attractive man?”
“Of course I won’t deny that. I also won’t deny I’d like to get to know him better.” When Jolene opened her mouth, Izzy quickly raised a hand palm out to stop her from speaking. “But it’s not because I’m attracted to him in that way. It’s because he seems really closed off and sad, and that makes me sad. I’d really like to see him smile.”
Jolene cocked her head, looking at Izzy skeptically. “I’m not sure what you mean by closed off, and I’ve seen him smile. He smiled the other night when we were all over at Tuck and Maddy’s house.”
“Are you sure?” Izzy sat up straight and shoved her hands beneath her thighs on the chair seat because they were suddenly trembling a little bit. “Are you sure he smiled, or did you just think he did because everyone else was smiling and being cordial, and you expected him to be as well? Because to me,
it looks like he hasn’t smiled, really smiled, in a long time. His eyes are just so cold.”
The other girl gave it some thought. “Well, I guess I can’t say for sure, but I think I would have noticed if he’d been glowering all evening.”
“Yeah, you would have,” Izzy confirmed ruefully. “He’s got a scary glower. He used it on me today, when I was trying to be friendly.”
“Wait, so you actually talked to him?” Jolene wondered, her interest now well and truly piqued.
“Over in the barn,” Izzy confirmed, “when I took Andi her birthday gift. I met him in the hallway and tried to be nice, and he gave me a brush-off like you wouldn’t believe. I felt like gum on the bottom of his shoe. Or I guess I should say boot.”
“Seriously?” Jolene asked. “That’s surprising. He really was friendly enough the other night. He participated in the conversation and all.” She bit her lip thoughtfully. “He didn’t talk about himself though, I do remember that. Kay asked him where he lives and what he does, and he was real evasive. He said something about working with computers, and then Ryan changed the subject really quick.”
With that tidbit, Izzy’s imagination went into overdrive. “See, that kind of thing makes him so intriguing to me, and even more of a challenge,” she said. “Not as a romantic conquest—you really don’t need to worry about that. I just want to know his story, and find out why he is the way he is. I want to be his friend because it seems like he really needs one, whether he knows it or not.”
“What if he doesn’t want to be your friend?” Jolene asked gently. “He doesn’t strike me as a man who will tolerate a lot of unwanted interference in his life. It could be he truly desires a solitary existence.” She smiled to soften the blow. “Maybe the mystery of Tanner James isn’t yours to solve.”
“I think it’s his eyes,” Izzy said wistfully. “I can’t get them out of my mind. They were so cold and empty. Not empty in a soul-less kind of way, like a serial killer or something, but it’s like there’s a wall and he’s holding everything back. He can’t be more than thirty-two or three, but I feel like he’s already lived a lifetime. A hard one. And now he’s just going through the motions.” She wrinkled her nose self-consciously. “Does that sound crazy, considering I just met him? I mean, yeah, okay, don’t even answer that. I know it does. I can’t explain it any better, though. I don’t know why I’m so convinced he needs someone to befriend him, but I am.”
“It doesn’t sound crazy, Iz,” Jolene assured her. “You’re an insightful, empathetic person, and maybe your gut is exactly right, but are you sure you want to go there? I can’t help but worry you’ll end up falling for him and get hurt, even though your intentions are good.”
“He’s not my type, so I don’t see him like that. I won’t fall for him.” Izzy looked directly into Jolene’s eyes when she spoke because she wanted the other woman to see she meant it.
It didn’t seem to work because Jolene grinned. “Since when is tall, dark, and handsome not your type?”
Izzy waved a hand. “Oh, trust me, I like the tall, dark, and handsome part just fine. It’s the broody, moody, and downright mean I’m not attracted to.”
“But you only spoke to him for a minute or two. Maybe your first impression is totally off.”
Izzy shrugged. “Whatever. Even if I had the hots for him, he won’t be here long enough for me to fall for him and get hurt. So my goal is simply to be his friend. Get him to come out of his shell a little bit.”
Jolene chuckled. “If anyone can do that, it’s Izzy Harding. Be careful, though. Tuck and Ryan seem to like him an awful lot. They won’t be happy if you scare him away.”
Izzy nodded slowly, thinking about that. The two resident FBI agents weren’t men who were easily impressed, so if they liked and cared about Tanner, there was something there. A bond between them.
“Andi said the same thing. What do you think the connection is?”
“I’m not even going to try to guess,” Jolene said, standing and picking up her tray. “I should get going before Boone tries to Skype me. Thanks for keeping me company, Iz. I hate when Boone and I are apart. You’d think I’d be used to it after being married for two seasons, but it’s still hard.”
“It should be hard,” Izzy declared, following Jolene to the conveyor belt that would take their used dishes into the kitchen wash area. “If I ever find the right man, I’ll hate letting him out of my sight, too.”
“Oh you’ll find him, I’m sure of that. And I can’t see it being a moody guy. You need someone who shares your joy in life.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m praying for. I’m already twenty-six, though, and still no joyful men in sight.”
“Unfortunately, good men are hard to find,” Jolene lamented.
“I’m finding that out. I was very intentional about taking a break from men in general, but I didn’t expect it to last this long. Two years and counting. I’m kinda hoping God gets a move on.”
They both laughed, then parted ways, Jolene to head to her house in town, and Izzy to her one-room staff cabin. Although six months in the cabin was five months longer than she’d originally planned, staying there had allowed her to put off the decision of whether to buy or rent. Renting seemed a waste, especially since she planned to stay at the ranch for a long, long time. But buying was a huge, scary commitment, and it made her feel kind of itchy and jumpy to even think about it.
As she left the cafeteria, Izzy reached into her pocket for her phone to check the time, then realized she must have left it in her office. Unlike most her age, she wasn’t completely addicted to the device, but it was unusual for her to forget it. It just went to show how deeply her short meeting with Tanner had affected her. Her mind had felt scattered ever since.
She changed direction and headed through the doors that took her into the enclosed walkway leading to the gym and PT building. While she walked, she mulled over her conversation with Jolene. How did Tanner know the other guys? According to Jolene, he worked with computers in his real job. Had Tuck or Ryan needed a hacker for one of their cases, and then kept in touch? Tanner looked nothing like the stereotypical hacker, but not all computer experts were pale, overweight, and greasy. There were probably any number of them who had totally ripped bodies, moved with a sinuous, athletic grace—which the physical therapist in her couldn’t help but appreciate—and to top it off, were horse whisperers.
Or not.
She sighed, frustrated. The mystery of Tanner James deepened, and she didn’t have nearly enough information to figure it out. Not yet anyway.
She pushed through the gym doors, anxious to get her phone and get back to her cabin. Cutting across the gym floor was a short-cut to her office and she often used it during off hours when the gym was almost always empty.
It wasn’t empty this time, though. She stopped short when she saw a lone figure shooting baskets at the far end. Even from a distance, his back to her as he launched a perfect shot, she knew she was looking at none other than Tanner James.
He hadn’t heard her come in and she took advantage of that fact, standing back to observe him. Dressed in dark grey sweatpants and a white tee shirt, he was the picture of athleticism and strength. And this was a computer hacker? That theory was becoming less believable by the minute. Maybe he was an executive for some kind of high tech firm that did business with the FBI. Or he worked for the them as an analyst or something.
She folded her arms and let out a long breath. It was useless to speculate. She’d just have to wait until she got the chance to ask him. Which wouldn’t happen unless she got him to acknowledge her as a human being, rather than a pesky gnat or an old piece of gum.
That thought made her frown. The way he’d acted earlier was still eating at her, and she quickly decided being rebuffed by him once was more than enough for one day. Her quest to befriend him could wait.
She started backing out of the gym, hoping he wouldn’t turn and notice her, but then one of his balls got away and ro
lled straight toward her. Now he was going to see her anyway, so she might as well pretend she hadn’t been standing there staring at him.
“I’ll get it,” she called out, bracing herself for a stormy reaction.
His head swung sharply around, his dark brows coming together in a frown. Ever the optimist, Izzy was pleased he was at least showing some kind of emotion, rather than the empty eyes he’d shown earlier. She picked up the ball and walked toward him, dribbling it a few times.
“Need another player?” she asked, keeping her tone light and friendly. “Or at least a rebounder?”
“No.” He caught her bounce pass and turned and shot the ball, going for his own rebound.
She opened her mouth to make a smart-alecky reply, then decided to save herself the trouble. It had been a long day, and she didn’t have the energy to try to engage him. She turned and walked toward the door that led into the physical therapy rooms, but then the outside doors burst open and two men came through, laughing and talking. Recognizing Ryan and Tuck, she waved.
“Hey, Iz. You gonna join our game?” Ryan asked, high-fiving her as they met up.
“Not tonight,” she said, aware that Tanner was walking up behind her. “I left my phone in my office and I’m trying to go there to get it, but I ran into the new guy and he won’t stop talking. I couldn’t get away.”
Tuck’s lips twitched while Ryan outright laughed. “Yeah, once Tanner gets going, it’s hard to cut him off,” he said wryly, grinning over her head at his friend.
Tuck jogged over and picked up a ball, tossing it to her. “Come on, Izzy. Warm up with us until the other guys get here. It’s going to be the three of us against three interns. They’re at least ten years younger and we don’t want to be embarrassed.”
Izzy wasn’t buying it. “I’ve seen you two play. You won’t be the ones who are embarrassed. Unless Tanner can’t hold up his end.” She turned to look at him, hoping her teasing wasn’t making him angrier.