Disrupt

by Ella Fox

  “We made a mess,” she notes with a soft chuckle.

  “That we did,” I agree.

  It’s true, and in more ways than one. Somehow, I went from trying to tell her she wasn’t no one to me to kissing the motherfuck out of her and now we’re here. I learned my lesson though— I shouldn’t have treated her the way I did and I won’t do it again. I’ll tread much more carefully with her from here on out.

  After buckling myself in and turning the engine on, I look over to check and make sure she’s situated. The hesitant smile she gives me causes my heart to twinge painfully. That smile tells me she’s waiting for me to do something shitty— and I fucking hate that I’ve been such a dick that she’s not wrong to worry.

  It’s never been my intent to make her feel like shit. Generally speaking, I’m a dick because it’s what I do to keep people at bay. With Eden, it’s been more complicated. From the moment she looked up at me with those blue eyes I knew she was a danger to the system I’ve developed to keep myself going from day to day. Fuck knows I tried to stay away, but tonight is proof positive that where she’s concerned, my head isn’t screwed on right.

  Now I need to figure out how to get my shit together without hurting her because it’s really the only thing that matters.

  17

  Eden

  The drive back to town is a little bit uncomfortable. Not because of Donovan either. Nope, it’s all down to me. I can tell that he’s tense—that much is obvious by the stiffness of his frame—but he’s acting like everything is okay. I’m not sure it is, though. Also, now that I’ve touched him I’m going to want to do it all of the time, but I highly doubt he’s going to let me.

  Even though it’s just before ten, Main Street is barren at this time of night. That means that Donovan’s truck is the only one in front of the supermarket. After pulling my car into the spot next to his truck, he turns to face me. Several seconds pass while he looks me over in silence. I get the sense he’s looking for something specific, but I can’t warrant a guess as to what that is.

  “You okay to drive?” he asks.

  I wrinkle my brow in confusion. “I haven’t had anything to drink.”

  His lips twitch as he shakes his head. “I mean are you okay with all of this?”

  “Um, I’m fine with it,” I say softly. “Of the two of us, it’s you I’m concerned about. Are you okay with it?”

  “I told you I was okay,” he reminds me.

  “So if we’re both okay… I guess the question now is what comes next?”

  He stills. “Next?”

  His obvious surprise makes me cringe. I just did something with him I’ve never done with anyone else and, damn me, I want it to mean something to him. It certainly does to me.

  “Yeah, next. What’s happens from here?”

  The guilty look on his face tells a story of its own.

  “What happened tonight can’t happen again,” he says. “We can be… friendly. But that’s it.”

  Ouch. We’ve downgraded from friends to friendly. Okay then. Well, at least now I know how to play this. My pride will get me through, as it always does. I give a disaffected shrug and unbuckle my seatbelt before I turn to unlock my door. “Glad we settled that, Stretch.”

  Opening the door, I step out and walk around the hood to the driver’s side. He stares at me through the glass like he’s confused before he shakes his head as if to clear it before undoing his seatbelt, unlocking the door, and stepping out.

  “Uh, keys are in the ignition,” he says.

  “I got it.”

  “Give me a second to get in the truck and I’ll follow you.”

  I roll my eyes and step around him. “I can drive the few miles to the motel without an escort.”

  “Dammit Angel, stop being so damn stubborn.”

  I choke out a laugh as I climb into my car and adjust the seat. “Kinda the pot calling the kettle black,” I mutter as I pull my seatbelt over. “Regardless, I’m fine, so there’s no need to put on your Captain Save a Ho cape. I’ll see you… around.”

  He mutters something I don’t catch, but I choose to ignore it. I need to get back to the motel so I can be in my space and unwind. Grabbing the door handle, I give him a pointed look. Nodding, he steps away so that I’m able to close the door. I avoid looking at him again as I put the car into reverse and get the hell out of dodge.

  I wake up to pounding on my door. After I got home last night, I took a shower and promptly passed out, naked. Scrambling from the bed, I hurry to the bathroom, grab my robe from the hook on the wall, throw it on, and then hurry to the door. Sure that it’s Donovan, I’m surprised when I yank it open and find Julie on my doorstep.

  “You’re alive!” I exclaim. Since she’s had the flu, I feel as though it’s been forever since I’ve seen her.

  “Alive and here for gossip,” she laughs as she pushes her way past me into my room. “Thank for not answering any of my texts last night by the way. I’m dying to know how you wound out with my cousin so I got my ass up and out to come see you as soon as I could”

  A quick look out the door tells me that Donovan’s truck isn’t in the parking lot. Asshole probably rolled out and took one of his super long work trips to get away from me. Annoyed, I slam the door. Julie’s already in my kitchen pulling out what she needs to make coffee.

  “Give me a minute to get dressed.”

  “Make it quick, Sugartits. Time waits for no one.”

  After pulling on a bra, some underwear, a pair of sweatpants and a gray tee, I meet her in the kitchen. Friend that she is, she already has a cup of coffee ready for me. Four spoonfuls of sugar and a heavy dash of cream, just the way I like it. She’s also making scrambled eggs. Taking the cup from her, I hop up onto the counter and watch her cook.

  “You’re definitely feeling better if you can cook,” I muse.

  “I feel like I haven’t eaten in sixteen years. Last night before bed I ate six pieces of toast and I still woke up this morning ready to eat.” Pointing at me with the spatula, she gives me a look. “Enough about me—you’ve got things to tell me, little woman. How did you wind up at the movies with my cousin? Mom says Aunt Stella almost fainted from shock. Was it pre-planned? Like a date?”

  She knows Donovan a hell of a lot better than I do—surely she knows he isn’t the dating type. “Nothing like that,” I say emphatically. “The invitation was spur of the moment and one hundred percent brought on by the fact that he ran into me while I was having an emotional moment.”

  She stops pushing the scrambled eggs around in the pan to look up at me. “Emotional moment? What was going on?”

  I sigh and take a sip of my coffee before answering. “They were putting up Christmas flags on Main Street and I started thinking about my dad. If he doesn’t turn up soon, I’ll be spending the holidays alone. It’ll officially be like I’ve lost both parents. It sounds stupid—”

  “It’s not stupid, Eden,” she says softly. “Children are meant to rely on their parents.”

  She knows enough about the situation with Dad to understand what I’m dealing with. There was no point in keeping it a secret since Margie knows pretty much everything anyway. Still, I don’t love talking about it so I’m just going to gloss over that part of the story.

  “So basically Donovan—thanks for never mentioning that he’s your cousin any time before now, by the way—found me having a mini meltdown and the next thing I knew he’d invited me out to see a movie and have dinner with his parents.”

  “Verrrry interesting,” she drawls. “How did you get there?”

  “On the highway,” I laugh.

  She shakes her head as she turns off the stove. “No, silly. Did he make you follow him or did you go on the bike?”

  “We drove together.”

  In the process of lifting the pan to plate the eggs she drops it back down on the stove, the metal clattering loudly she looks to me in shock. “He let you into his truck?” she asks incredulously.

  �
��No, we took my car. Why? Does he not let people into the truck?”

  She opens her mouth and closes it twice in quick succession before she finally speaks. “Oh, well, um, no. It’s not that. He’s just really…”

  When she doesn’t finish the sentence, I say, “Sloppy? Because he told me it was a mess in there.”

  “Uh huh,” she answers, her back to me as she grabs two forks from the utensil drawer.

  When she turns back and hands off a steaming plate of fluffy scrambled eggs and a fork, I let out a sigh of appreciation. “Want to eat at the table?” I ask.

  She shakes her head and props her hip on the counter, fork in one hand and her plate in the other. “Nah, we’re cool,” she says between bites. “Tell me the rest.”

  “We went and saw Bladerunner with your aunt and uncle and then had dinner at a place called Wang’s. When we got back to town, he got his truck and I drove myself back here. The end.”

  She gives me a look of disbelief. “The end? Really? Van hasn’t voluntarily spent time with anyone that aren’t his parents, my parents, or me in…” swallowing, she looks away before she adds, “a long time.”

  I shrug and continue eating because I have no idea what to say.

  “You gotta give me something,” she pushes.

  Swallowing a bite of eggs, I give her an innocent look. “There’s really nothing to give. Honestly, I spent most of the time talking to Stella.”

  “Oh, I just bet you did,” she laughs. “She’s the talker of that family for sure.”

  I smile, glad that I’ve distracted her from asking questions about Donovan. After taking the last bite, I set my plate down and drink some more much needed coffee.

  “So how’s Morrow?” I ask.

  The dreamy expression on her face says a lot. “So good, Eden. Not only did he text me every day while I was sick, he also sent me flowers. No guy has ever sent me flowers before. Since I was feeling human yesterday, he came over last night and watched Twilight with me. Does it get any better than that? Flowers and Twilight?”

  I do my best to ignore the pang of jealousy that hits me. Donovan Beckett would never watch Twilight with me and he damn sure won’t be sending flowers.

  “I’m so happy for you,” I tell her.

  I swear that I am really, truly happy for her. I’m just jealous as hell too.

  “He’s the best,” she says as she takes our empty plates and puts them in the sink. When she squirts some soap onto my sponge and starts washing off said dishes, I spring into action.

  “Stop that!” I say as I hurry over to the sink and turn off the water. “You’ve been sick and you’re a guest. Thank you for making food and coffee, but I’ve got the dishes.”

  She sticks her tongue out as she turns and flicks her fingers at me. I giggle as some water splashes on my right cheek. Pushing my hair back, I wipe my face with the sleeve of my robe.

  “Are you kidding me?” she shrieks.

  Bringing my arm down, I find Julie just about coming out of her skin. “Huh?”

  “Your story is that nothing weird happened with Van, correct?”

  It’s so jarring to hear her refer to him like that. Donovan is so not the type of guy I’d ever imagine being called Van.

  Because I’m a terrible liar, I merely nod. It’s best not to speak when lies are involved.

  “Then is there some mystery guy in town that you’re involved with?”

  I jerk back in surprise. “No. Why would you ask that?”

  Crossing her arms, she smiles like a cat who just caught a canary.

  “Oh, I don’t know,” she sing-songs. “I’m just spitballing here, but it might have something to do with the hickey on your neck.”

  Nope, nope, nope. There’s no way I’m falling for that. Except… he was licking and biting at my neck. Ducking my head, I readjust my hair to cover what may or may not be a hickey.

  “I’ve already seen it, dork. Too late now,” she says dryly.

  “I know there’s no hickey, Julie. I have to pee, though. Be right back.” Turning, I race down the hall to the bathroom. The second the door closes behind me I push my hair back and look in the mirror. Um. Yeah. There’s a hickey. That Neanderthal marked me! And holy shit, Julie knows it’s there. What the heck am I going to do now? Before I can think it out my bathroom door flings open, the doorknob hitting me at the waist as Julie shoves her way in.

  “Hey! I could’ve been peeing!”

  She shrugs. “But you weren’t, and I knew you wouldn’t be. I’m not a total dipshit, you know. I was well aware that you hauled ass in here to check the hickey out. On account of the fact that you were out with Van last night, and that you’ve already confirmed that you aren’t hooking up with anyone in town, I feel like it’s safe to assume that’s his handiwork.”

  I wince and look away, positive that I’m blushing. “Great, now I look like a big ol’ ho,” I mutter.

  “In your entire life, you’ve touched one dick, three times. You’re a long way from ho status.” She pauses for a second as she leans into my face. “Ohmygod you’re turning purple. You touched it!”

  Grabbing her arm, I yank her farther into the bathroom and then slam the door. “Be quiet! What if he’s back and he heard you?”

  She doesn’t answer because her jaw is hanging open in shock. I get worried when seconds pass without her even blinking. Jesus, did I shock her so badly that she’s catatonic? I wave my hand in front of her face to check her reaction. “Julie?”

  She blinks and sucks in a breath at the same time. “Shh,” she yells. “I’m thinking.”

  I’m not sure why I need to shush while she’s yelling. I stand still while she stares at me like this is the first time she’s seen me. Crap. Maybe she really will think I’m a skeezy ho. Panic starts to race through my veins when her eyes fill with tears.

  “Oh shit. Are you mad at me? I’m sorry! I wasn’t thinking…”

  My question is answered when she throws her arms around me and gives me a massive bear hug. I hug her back even as I wonder if I’m about to be choked out.

  “Am I mad? Am I mad?” she sniffles. “Hell no I’m not mad—I’m overjoyed. Christmas came early this year. You don’t even know how happy this makes me. You have to tell me everything. When did this start?”

  “Uh…”

  “Don’t be weird,” she huffs as she steps back.

  “He’s your cousin,” I point out.

  She rolls her eyes as she turns and opens the door, motioning for me to follow her.

  “Yeah, and because he’s my cousin I’m not here for weird descriptions. I don’t need to know how small little Donovan is or how he slobbers like a Great Dane when he kisses. It’s the rest of the details I want.”

  I bark out a laugh as I trail along behind her, thinking about how neither of the things she just said are even remotely accurate. I get it though—I wouldn’t want to hear anything like that about a family member either. Flinging open my door, she looks out into the parking lot and then slams the door before heading for my couch. “He’s still gone, and he’ll be gone for a while since he went to meet Uncle Paul and my dad to look at a house about fifteen minutes away. Those three will go through every nook and cranny of that place, trust me. They’re ridiculous.”

  I do my best to keep my facial expression blank, but it’s hard. I get that it’s not my business. Kind of. But really—after seven years of being here suddenly he wants to look at houses? Shit.

  “Whoa, Eden. Where’d you go?”

  Realizing that I stopped short of the couch and am now standing here like a total weirdo, I drop down onto the empty cushion. Unable to hold it back I blurt, “When does he move?”

  Julie looks at me like I just asked her how to solve a difficult equation. “Huh?”

  “I assume that with him looking at houses it means he’ll be moving soon,” I clarify.

  “Ahhhh,” she drawls. “I see what you’re thinking and you’re way off. They’re not looking at the house for
him. The three of them flip two or three houses a year. It’s a good way to make money and the three of them enjoy doing it. Didn’t my mom ever tell you that turning properties is how she and Dad had the money to buy this place? Dad flipped houses as a career long before it was a thing to do on TV.”

  “She mentioned it once or twice.”

  “You looked pretty upset when you thought he was moving,” she points out.

  Huffing out a sigh, I let my head fall back on the couch cushion. “Yeah.”

  “I know you well enough to be damn sure that you wouldn’t be upset if you didn’t care about him. I know it’s probably weird for you that I’m his cousin, but never forget that I’m your friend, too. You can tell me anything, Eden. I’m here for you.”

  I’m not even a little bit surprised. Julie is like her mom—trustworthy, down-to-earth, and sweet as can be.

  Taking a breath, I tell the truth. “Yes, I like him. I know it makes me seem like an idiot considering he’s so closed off and half the time he’s meaner than mean.”

  She lets out a sad sounding sigh. “He’s really not, I swear.”

  Turning my head, I give her a disbelieving look.

  “It’s true that he’s not a teddy bear to most people,” she concedes.

  “I think you mean every person who isn’t related to him,” I point out.

  “That’s true—but it’s obvious you’ve been added on to the list.”

  My heart skips a beat at her assertion, even as my brain tells me that she’s wrong. Frowning, I make a dismissive noise. “I hardly think that’s true.”

  She shakes her head emphatically. “Oh, it’s true. I know my cousin. If he didn’t like you, he’d never have taken you anywhere near Aunt Stella and Uncle Paul. He’d also never have let you know that my family is part of his family. That’s been on lock since the day he moved in here and he’s so adamant about it that I haven’t even told Morrow. Van let you into his life, he’s touched you, and most importantly, he let you touch him. This is huge, Eden. Massive. For almost eight years he hasn’t let anyone that isn’t one of the five of us anywhere near him.”