by Heather Lyn
I rub a hand up and down her back and finally let my own tears fall. Her father was an amazing man, and I feel the pain of his death as well. I bury my face in her neck and together we mourn the loss of Mike. She clings to me and I whisper to her, wanting her to know she isn’t alone. We fall asleep holding each other.
***
I wake up several hours later. The room is dark and Aubrey is still asleep next to me. She’s facing me, and even with swollen eyes and her hair plastered to her cheek from her tears, she is still the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on. I reach over to the nightstand and grab my cell phone. There’s a text from Kennedy asking how Aubrey is doing, so I respond that she’s asleep, but I’ll let her know in the morning.
Slipping out of bed carefully, I use the bathroom, wash my hands, and head back to bed. Slipping in next to Aubrey, who rolls over in her sleep, I lie behind her and pull her to me, burying my face in her soft hair. I breathe in her scent, grateful she’s here with me.
When I wake up again, I see it’s morning and Aubrey is no longer in bed. I pick my jeans up from the floor and quickly throw them on before padding out of the bedroom to find her in the kitchen, sipping a cup of coffee. Her eyes are still swollen and they look tired. She gives me a small smile when she sees me and turns around to grab another mug from the cabinet. She brews a cup and hands it over to me.
“Thank you, baby.” I blow on the coffee before taking a sip as she goes into the living room and sits down on the couch. Following her, I settle next to her, place my mug on the coffee table, and then turn to face her, bending one leg up onto the couch. I lay one arm across the back of the couch, using my other hand to brush her hair out of her face.
“How are you doing?”
She places a kiss on my palm. “I’m okay, actually. I’m devastated of course, but I’m also relieved he isn’t suffering anymore. He was in so much pain all the time, Noah, and that was hard to watch. I miss him so much already, but it wasn’t easy to watch him suffer.” I can see tears shining in her eyes, but she blinks them away. I open my mouth to say something but she interrupts me.
“I also wanted to say how sorry I am. I should never have said to you what I did. You did absolutely nothing wrong. I was just so angry at everything. I couldn’t stop myself from spewing all that at you, and I am so sorry for hurting you. You’re a good man, Noah Davis, and I’m completely unworthy of you. But I want to try to be.” She gives me a smile, one I’m so happy to see right now.
“No apologies necessary, baby. I knew you were just hurting. I understand, and I’m so sorry about your dad. Please, don’t push me away when you’re hurting. That’s what I’m here for.” I take a sip of my coffee, then put it back down and reach over to pull her onto my lap. She straddles me and wraps her arms around my shoulders.
Taking a deep breath, I finally begin to tell her what I should have a long time ago.
“Aubrey, I know this isn’t the right time. Or maybe it is. Maybe there’s no such thing as the right time. But I don’t care. Life is too precious to spend it trying to plan the perfect moment. I love you, Aubrey. I think I’ve loved you ever since that night at the bar, and I don’t want another day to go by without me telling you that. You’re everything to me, baby. I love you so much.” I frame her face with my hands and look deep into her eyes. A tear falls from one corner and I wipe it away with my thumb. She gives me a huge smile.
“I love you too, Noah. I have for a long time. I was just too chicken to say the words first. You came into my life at the most unexpected moment, and it’s because of you that I’ve been able to get through all of this. You make me stronger, Noah.”
She leans forward and kisses me, tightening her arms around my shoulders as I cradle the back of her head and deepen the kiss. She grants me access to her tongue and as soon as they touch, she moans into my mouth. With all the craziness of these last couple weeks, it’s been a while since I made love to her. I feel like this isn’t the right time to take advantage, but my rock-hard dick clearly isn’t getting the memo.
She presses against my hardness, causing a groan to rip through my chest. Grabbing her around the waist, I stand with her in my arms and carry her to the bedroom, never removing my lips from hers. I kick the door shut behind us and fall with her onto the bed, her legs wrapped around my waist, arms around my neck. I trace my hands up and down her sides as our tongues softly duel. She only has on my T-shirt and a pair of panties, so it doesn’t take us long to shed our clothes.
I run a hand between her legs and groan loudly when I find how wet and ready she is. Leaning back on my haunches, I stroke my hardness, taking in the sight of her waiting for me with her legs open. I place myself at her entrance and in one smooth thrust bury myself to the hilt inside her. When she moans loudly and arches her back, I take advantage and lean down to take a nipple into my mouth. I suck hard, grazing my teeth over the tip as I begin to thrust inside her hot pussy. Her walls are clamping down on me and I can tell she’s already close. Her moans are growing louder as she reaches down to grab onto my ass, pulling me into her harder. I release a growl and start thrusting harder and faster. I can feel the sweat dripping off my forehead onto her chest, the tingling at the base of my spine; I’m losing control, and fast. I move a hand down to where we’re connected and begin rubbing fast circles on her clit.
She immediately cries out and I feel a rush of wetness between us as she begins to climax. Her legs are shaking and she’s screaming out my name. My balls start to tighten and I know I’m done for. She drags her nails down my back to my ass and that’s it. I bury my face in her neck and release a loud moan as I begin to come. I thrust slowly through my orgasm until my body goes limp and I fall on top of her. She wraps her arms around my back, pressing a kiss to my shoulder as I blow out a shaky breath and move to her side.
“Jesus Christ, babe. That was so fucking good.” I press a kiss to the side of her neck as she giggles. Turning over, she cuddles up next to me and kisses me.
“So good. I think you fucked me into a coma, I need a nap from that.” I laugh and pull her on top of me, kissing her hard. “I love you, Noah.”
I smile at her before kissing her again. “I love you too, baby. So much.”
We begrudgingly force ourselves out of bed and head into the kitchen. She calls her brother and lets him know that we’ll be over in a little while to start making decisions, and I’m in awe of how strong she’s being. Aubrey is the most amazing woman I have ever met, and I’m finding myself falling harder for her every day I spend with her.
We make a quick breakfast of bagels and cream cheese, and she takes a shower while I call Grayson and fill him in on what’s going on. He offers to drive over to her parents’ with Kennedy a little later, and I let him know I’ll talk to Aubrey about it. I’m just hanging up the phone when she comes walking out of her bedroom, in shorts and a T-shirt. Her wet hair is up in a ponytail and she has no makeup on. The puffiness has gone down in her eyes.
She grabs a travel mug and fills it to the brim with more coffee. She offers me a cup, but I decline. Walking into the living room, she grabs her purse and comes back into the kitchen.
“Ready to go?” she asks, grabbing her keys off the counter.
“Yeah. I’ll drive, baby.”
She gives me a smile before we head out of the apartment, climb into my truck, and get our way to her parents’ house. I reach over to switch on the radio and put it on the local country station. The sound of “When I’m Gone” by Joey + Rory comes through the speakers. I reach over to turn it off, thinking it will be too painful for her, but she slaps my hand out of the way. Instead, she turns it up louder and closes her eyes as she leans her head back on the headrest. I can hear her humming along to it and as we come to a stop sign, I glance over at her. I can see tears falling down the side of her face, but she doesn’t shut the music off. Aubrey has a small smile on her lips, and then I realize what she’s doing. She’s embracing the music and lyrics. They aren’t ma
king her sad; it looks like they’re bringing her peace.
We pull into her parents’ driveway a few minutes later. I park next to what I’m assuming is her brother’s car and shut off the engine before reaching over and tracing my thumb down her jaw, then her neck. She looks over at me with a small smile. Leaning over, she places a kiss to my cheek.
“Thank you for coming, Noah.”
“Nowhere else I’d rather be, babe.” I lean over to give her a quick kiss, then open my door and jump down from my truck. I meet her at the front of my truck. “Just remember I’m here to help. Whatever you need, just let me know. You don’t have to go through this alone, okay?”
She smiles and nods as we walk up the front steps. Heading inside, I feel her grip on my hand tighten. We find her brother sitting at the dining room table, stacks of paper in front of him along with a tumbler half filled with what appears to be bourbon. He looks like he hasn’t slept at all. Aubrey immediately goes over to him and wraps her arms around his shoulders; he hugs her tightly then pulls back. I reach out and grasp his hand, offering my condolences. Landon thanks me then sits back down, turning his attention to Aubrey.
“So, we have a ton of stuff to go over. Mom’s still asleep. I called her doctor and had some sleeping pills filled for her. I felt guilty doing that to her, but she needs rest.” It sucks hearing that Sharon is having such a hard time, but I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose someone you’ve been with for almost thirty years. Hell, I’ve barely been with Aubrey for two months and I already know I would go bat-shit if anything ever happened to her.
“I’ll talk to her when she gets up. Okay, so I know Dad wanted to be cremated, but is there anything else we need to take care of?”
Aubrey starts looking over the papers on the table. I take a seat next to her and place my hand on her thigh.
“Well, we’re gonna have to call the funeral home so we can set up a memorial service. That way, people can come pay their respects. Mom said he wanted to be cremated and then have his ashes spread out back in the pond. That was his favorite place to be.”
Aubrey makes the call and gets a memorial set up for Mike three days later at noon. It will be open to everyone from noon to two, and they have to decide who will give the eulogy. She also tells Landon that they need to have an obituary written up so people know when the service is. They wait until Sharon is up in case she wants to have a part in writing it. I offer to run out and pick some food up for lunch, so I give Aubrey a quick kiss and head out to the deli for sandwiches.
Of course, I end up ordering way more food than is needed, but I want to make sure I get enough. And I don’t know what everybody wants, so I get a variety. I load a bag up with some chips and drinks and place it all on the passenger seat of my truck. Rolling the windows down, I start the short drive back, enjoying the beautiful day. Once I get there, I grab the bags and head for the kitchen. Aubrey and Landon are standing at the counter, looking at a picture she’s holding.
“Hey, guys. I got a bunch of different sandwiches. I wasn’t sure what you’d want.”
Landon helps me unload the bags while Aubrey grabs some plates out of the cabinet and places them in front of us.
“Wanna see something, Noah?” She hands me what she and Landon were looking at. It’s a picture of Landon and Aubrey when they were kids, sitting with their dad. They were both wearing red and white outfits and Mike was dressed up as Santa, complete with beard and glasses. They couldn’t have been any more than three and five years old. It’s pretty adorable.
I hand the picture back to Aubrey and she places it back on the window sill.
“That’s one of my favorite pictures of us. Dad used to dress up like that all the time, until we caught on to who he was. Remember that, Land?” Aubrey smiles at her brother and starts looking through the sandwiches. She grabs the turkey and swiss on rye and takes it over to the dining table. I follow her with my own sandwich.
“Yeah, that was what, when I was nine or ten? He was so mad! He made me promise that I wouldn’t tell you, because he didn’t want Christmas to be ruined.”
Laughing, Aubrey looks over at me as she takes a sip of her lemonade. “Dad was the best.”
A little while later, Sharon comes downstairs, wearing an old sweatshirt and a pair of sleep pants. She heads over to the coffee pot and, after brewing a mug, joins us in the dining room. I immediately stand and give her a hug. She holds onto me tightly, then lets go. I tell her how sorry I am and to let me know if I can do anything for her. She pats me on the shoulder and gives Aubrey a hug.
“Mom, Noah got sandwiches for lunch. Do you want me to fix you a plate?” she asks, letting go of her mom.
“Sure, honey. Thank you.” Sharon sits next to Landon, who leans over and kisses her on the cheek. She smiles at him then turns to look at the table.
“So, what else do we have to do?” She picks up one of the pieces of paper and scans it.
“Well, we have a memorial service set up for Thursday from noon to two at the funeral home downtown. We just need to submit the obituary to them by this afternoon. Aubs and I haven’t written anything yet. We figured we’d wait so you could help us.”
Sharon has tears in her eyes while she listens to Landon, but she gives him a small smile.
“Yeah, that was nice of you guys. We can get something written up after I eat. Those pills really knocked me out last night.”
“Yeah, the doctor told me that. I was really worried about you, Mom. You were a zombie last night, and I didn’t know what to do.” Landon looks a little worried. I’m not understanding why he feels guilty, but I’m also not the one who lost their father.
“Don’t feel bad, Landon. You didn’t force them down my throat. You were just taking care of me. You’re a good son, sweetheart.”
I feel like I’m intruding on this moment, so I excuse myself to see if Aubrey needs any help in the kitchen. She’s standing at the counter, putting a sandwich on a plate next to a cut-up apple.
“Need any help?” I walk over to her and place my hands on her shoulders.
Shaking her head, she leans back and rests her head against my chest. “Nope, I’m good, but thanks.”
“Your mom seems to be doing better.”
“She does, doesn’t she? I’m glad. I know it’s gonna be hard for a while, but I don’t want to see her drown in her grief. Dad and I had a nice talk right before he passed and I think that’s what’s helping me accept this all.”
Aubrey picks the plate up and carries it in to her mom, coming back into the kitchen a minute later and holding her hand out to me. I take it and follow her out onto the back deck. We descend the stairs and she takes me down to the pond behind their house. I came out here one day with Mike and he showed me where he liked to relax. It’s beautiful down here, so quiet and peaceful. They have a small dock set up at the edge of the property that goes out into the pond. I follow her down it and we both take a seat at the end, our feet dangling over the edge. I hold her hand in mine tightly and kiss her knuckles.
“I love it down here. This was Dad’s place. Whenever Landon or I had a bad day, or something was bothering us, he would bring us down here and we would just sit together. Sometimes we’d talk about what was upsetting us, and other times we would just sit in silence. We always knew he was there for us, no matter how much we messed up or how much we thought we let him down. He was always on our side.” I can hear her voice cracking and I sit closer to her. She leans her head down on my shoulder and continues.
“Before he died, he told me that I needed to be with you. He said we remind him a lot of him and Mom. He knew I would be taken care of when he was gone. He told me that Landon and I were his greatest joys in life and that he would always be with me. I think that helped me, you know. Because as brokenhearted as I was, my father was okay with his time being cut short. He had accepted it. And I knew in that moment that I had to accept it as well. I could either spend all my remaining time angry that he was being taken from me,
or I could embrace my memories of him. I could hold onto all the good times—the laughter, the love, and the sadness. And that’s what I want to do, Noah. I can’t change my father dying, but I can continue to live.”
She looks up at me with tears in her eyes and smiles. “I love you.”
I can’t help but return her smile and give her a gentle kiss. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of her telling me that.
“I love you too, babe.”
She puts her head back on my shoulder and together we sit and enjoy the silence, swinging our legs back and forth.
CHAPTER 21
AUBREY
Mom decided to help us write out the obituary, so Landon is on his way to the funeral home to drop it off. Noah and I sit with her as we go over all the arrangements again. After the service, we’re going to come back here and spread Dad’s ashes. Just the four of us. Noah’s a part of this family, and I’m going to do my best to make sure he stays.
I had talked to Kenni earlier, and she offered to come over and help. I thanked her, but declined; I just wanted to spend some time with my family, and although Kenni is family I want to be selfish and not share Mom and Landon with her.
Once Landon gets back from the funeral home, he asks if he can speak to me alone. I follow him onto the back deck and we sit in the chairs next to each other.
“We have to decide if we’re going to have anybody speak about Dad. They want to print the program tonight, and I said I’d send an e-mail with what we wanted to do.”
I swallow the lump in my throat, knowing he’s asking me if I’m comfortable with saying something. I bite my bottom lip as I think about what I should do.
“You don’t have to, Aubs. Dad would understand if it’s too hard.”