Yolo 3: Murda Mami

by Sa'id Salaam

  “And he ran,” Killa said shaking his head once more. “Well, we’ll take them home and try again tomorrow.”

  “That’s fine,” Miss Hunter said, batting her eyes at him. Killa heard Yolo growl and couldn’t help but to laugh.

  “Go ‘head, babe. I need to ask Miss Thing, eh, I mean Miss Hunter a quick question,” Yolo said quite pleasantly.

  “Sure,” Killa said. He took a final look at the pretty principal just in case it was the last time she looked like that.

  “How can I help you?” Miss Hunter asked, as if speaking to a child.

  “Oh, I was just wondering if I was going to have to fuck you up about my man? Not my baby daddy, my man!” she stressed. It was hard enough sharing space and time with Sincerity so she’d be damned if there’d be a third wheel.

  “Absolutely not!” the woman insisted.

  *****

  “Take me to Home Depot!” Yolo demanded when she joined her family in the car.

  “For what?” Killa asked frowning up. What could she possibly want to build at a time like this he wondered.

  “So I can get one of those big ass pots, like witches use.”

  “A cauldron?” he asked to see if that’s what she meant.

  “Yeah! A cauldron, so I can cook those fucking kids who put their hands on my babies and feed them to their dead beat ass parents before I kill them and…”

  “Eh em,” Killa cleared his throat and motioned to the backseat with his eyes. Yolo turned to see her children eyes wide with shock from her violent outburst.

  “Fix it!” she told their father, knowing that he would.

  Fixing it was exactly why he bypassed Yolo’s street and headed to the Long Island Expressway. A couple of bridges later Sun read the sign that said ‘Welcome to The Bronx’.

  Chapter 21

  “Where are we?” Shyne demanded when they pulled into the University Homes Projects. She crinkled her little nose up like the place stunk. It did, but she hadn’t smelled it yet.

  “This is where your daddy grew up!” Yolo said proudly. She felt a sense of connection to the grimy projects that raised her boo.

  “It is?” Sun said staring around in utter fascination. He took in the colorful people amongst the bleak grey backdrop. He saw dope boys and ratchet girls along with working men and women.

  “Why are we here?” Yolo finally asked, as Killa lead his second family through the courtyard.

  “To see him,” he replied pointing upwards. There was Karate Joe practicing moves on the rooftop.

  “Good idea!” Yolo smiled and walked faster.

  “Eww!” Shyne squealed when they stepped inside a pissy elevator.

  “Smells like you,” Sun giggled and cracked up.

  “I know you ain’t talking Carl Lewis,” Yolo quipped. The revelry was cut short once they reached the top floor. Killa lead them up a flight of steps onto the roof.

  “Killa-son,” Karate Joe greeted with a bow.

  “Sup yo,” he shot back minus the bow. Killa bowed to no man. “This is Miss Jackson, Sun, and Shyne.”

  Yolo cut her eyes at him upon hearing the genealogically insufficient greeting. She saved her protest for later since they were on a bigger mission. The kids giggled and bowed at the karate man in his karate clothes and his karate shoes.

  “They need to learn how to fight,” Yolo interjected impatiently. “Especially him!”

  “All children should know how to fight. Let’s see what they know,” Karate Joe announced and took a swing at Shyne.

  “Stop it!” the girl spat as she blocked the blow. The teacher nodded in approval and tried her brother. Sun stood there and got popped upside his head. He began to cry and tried to take cover behind his mother.

  “Un uh!” Yolo said and pushed him away from her. “How long will it take to teach them?”

  “Lethal or defensive?” Karate Joe asked.

  “Lethal!” Both lethal parents replied simultaneously as one, as parents should.

  “Hmm…” the old man hummed as he sized them up. “Her, a year. Two at the most. Him about ten years.”

  “Mm mm mph,” Yolo said shaking her head at her goofy son. “Well, let’s get started.”

  Karate Joe started with the basics and taught the kids how to block. Months would be spat on defense before they threw a single punch or kick.

  “So,” Yolo began once she and Killa were off to the side. “Who exactly is he?”

  “Him? Karate Joe!” he replied as if it were a silly question and then braced himself for the rest.

  “I know that. Who is Karate Joe?” she asked through clenched teeth.

  “The best karate teacher in New York, who just happens to be Sincerity’s father. But this ain’t about her, you, or me. It’s about Sun and Shyne!” Killa said all in one exasperated breath.

  “Oh, okay,” Yolo said. What else could she say?

  *****

  Training went far better than anyone expected. Yolo trained along with her kids each weekend and then practiced with them all week. By the time they returned the following weekend, they had mastered the last lesson.

  The kids still got their asses kicked once a week, but they both fought back. Yolo refused to run to their rescue again so they had to fight. Every loss made them go harder to learn how to win. By the end of the school year they were ready. Not yet lethal, but there would be no more ass kickings.

  “Uh oh, here comes Dumb and Blind!” a hefty first grader name Bo-Bo announced when the twins entered the lunch room. The large boy hated them for wearing clean clothes and having all kinds of good foods in their lunch boxes. He was the leader by default since he had beaten everyone else up.

  “Dumb and Blind! Dumb and Blind!” the chant erupted as usual. Shyne smiled wickedly at her brother since she knew what was coming. The twins vowed not to be touched or teased ever again and they meant it.

  “Wait for it… wait… for it,” Shyne said as Bo-Bo approached. He liked to taunt them by sticking his face inches from theirs and blowing his government cheese breath in their face. Both tightened the grip on their metal lunch boxes. Metal lunch boxes would be forever banned after today thanks to Sun and Shyne.

  Bo-Bo stuck his face out just as Sun swung an Aqua Man uppercut. Now in Sun’s defense, those front teeth were about to come out anyway the lunch box just helped speed up the process. Shyne swung a Wonder Woman hook that left the bully shook. He did what all bullies do when confronted, he turned and ran.

  “Un uh,” Sun said and clipped him before he could get away. Down he went and the twins stomped and kicked him like he was on fire.

  “Do something!” a teacher shouted to the school’s security guard.

  “I am!” the man laughed and kept watching. Why not? He’d had to watch the first grader bully kids for the last three years. He was going to enjoy the show like everyone else. Once the twins finished beating him to a pulp he then escorted them to the principal’s office.

  “Kid’s stuff, nothing to be concerned with. Kids fight you know,” Yolo said sarcastically, throwing Miss Hunter’s words back at her when she called to report the beating. She then hung up and waited for the school bus to drop them back off at home. She had a huge surprise waiting for them.

  Yolo breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the school bus come to a hissing stop up the street. She never could relax until her babies where safely inside the house.

  “Hello, Mommy… Christi!” they twins cheered and rushed to their big sister. The semester had ended and she was home for the summer.

  “Hey guys!” Christi yelled back as they rushed over to embrace her. It wasn’t until they pulled away that she saw the blood on their clothing. “Is that blood?”

  “It ain’t ours!” Sun said proudly.

  “We had to put the smack down,” Shyne explained. “Oh Mommy, we need new lunch boxes.”

  “I bet you do,” Yolo laughed to herself. “Now go change so we can all go to Chuck E. Cheese’s!”

  *****
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  The family settled into a booth in the restaurant. Not for long though because when Christi returned with tokens, the kids took off to play games.

  “Sooooo… how was your first year of college?” Yolo asked once she had Christi alone.

  “Great! I aced all my classes! Mid-terms, finals, everything! I have a perfect 4.0 grade point average! I made the Dean’s list, who’s who among freshman…,” Christi replied enthusiastically. She would’ve went on for an hour about her accomplishments if Yolo hadn’t stopped her. She did because that wasn’t what she was asking about.

  “Yeah, yeah but are you fucking?” Yolo wanted to know. She got her answer when the girl turned beet red from embarrassment.

  “What! Me? No!” she said clutching invisible pearls.

  “So, no boyfriend?” Yolo dared.

  “Nope,” Christi said shaking her head.

  “Girlfriend?”

  “No! Eww!” she said turning an even darker shade of red. She was proud to have made it through with her morals and hymen intact while so many girls lost theirs.

  “I met a lot of cute guys but they all want one thing!”

  “Your lunch card?” Yolo quipped.

  “Sex crazy! All of them. Nice guys, bad boys, nerds, athletes, stoners, professors, janitors, lunch…,”

  “Wait! Back up. Did you say professors?” she asked feeling a homicide coming. She had been so busy with the twins she’d had no time for 1-800-Killa. Her baby daddy was having all the fun.

  “Yup. Male and females! They sleep with students for grades, but I ain’t with that. First of all, I can get good grades on my own and secondly you raised me better than that!”

  “I did!” Yolo replied proudly. She was proud of Christi as well as herself. Killa was the only man she had ever slept with and she planned to keep it like that. “Isn’t that um… what’s her name? From The Block.”

  “Who?” Christi asked scanning the restaurant. It took her a second to realize the woman with child with a child was one of the girls who use to tease her. She felt no satisfaction seeing the girl was struggling. She was feeding her child a grilled government cheese sandwich before sending him to play on the jungle gym. That made the foray absolutely free which was great since she was absolutely broke. “I should go say hello.”

  “You should,” Yolo agreed. She watched as Christi approached then turned to watch her kids. After Christi gave her all the cash from in her purse, she returned with a scowl.

  “Men!” she huffed, like the word had left a bad taste in her mouth. She went on to relay what the girl told her about the dead beat dude who had fathered her kids.

  “Well, what do you expect when you mess with little dope boys?” Yolo shrugged.

  “Actually, her kid’s father is a grown man with a job, house, and everything. He just refuses to take care of his kids. He says it’s not his problem. The kids would be better off if he was dead. At least she would get S.S.I for them,” Christi explained.

  “Facts,” Yolo nodded and smiled. She just had a reason to kill. You can’t just turn that shit off you know.

  Chapter 22

  “Sup Pops!” Sincerity said smiling into her phone.

  “Daughter,” Karate Joe greeted with a bow as he began a video chat session with his beloved child. Once a week, they chatted it up so he could stay in contact with her and his grandsons.

  Yolo had reached the roof but ducked back inside before she could be seen. Killa’s words rushed into her head, this is about the kids.

  “My students have arrived,” Karate Joe announced and gave a parting bow.

  “Okay Daddy,” Sincerity laughed. She thought it was cute him training anyone who came by and calling them students. “Same time next week.”

  “Greetings,” Yolo called out as she came back through the door after the termination of the call. Karate Joe bowed to Sun first, then Yolo, and finally Shyne.

  “Have you been practicing?” he asked peering at Yolo.

  “We all have!” she assured him.

  “Good. Today, you learn the ledge,” he announced and started walking over to the roof’s edge.

  “I’m not letting my babies play on the edge of no damn roof!” Yolo shrieked. She had to snatch Sun by the collar to prevent him from following him.

  “Not them. You!” the teacher demanded. He had no idea she had been trained to defend herself by the Black Mob’s in-house killer Mr. Grimsly. All he knew was that she had mastered every move he’d taught the children second hand.

  “Oh, okay!” Yolo cheered and rushed over. She stepped up onto the ledge and turned towards her teacher. They bowed and eased into karate stances.

  The sparring session started off light so she could get her balance. Then Karate Joe threw off speed strikes that she easily swatted away like gnats.

  “Hmp!” he huffed and increased the speed. She blocked 98% of the strikes only twice. She had a busted lip and a lump on her head to show for it. Then, to everyone’s surprise she caught him with a blow of her own.

  “Yay Mommy!” Shyne cheered and clapped like the cheerleader she would never be able to be. Picture Killa allowing his only daughter to dance, turn flips, and do flips in a little bitty skirt and panties in front of men. He was too old school for that.

  Karate Joe frowned at the unfamiliar feeling of being hit. It had been a lifetime ago since the last time anyone got passed his defenses. Not even his daughter/best student had ever managed that feat. He touched his finger to his lip and looked at the blood. Karate Joe began to smile and bowed.

  “You now know the ledge.”

  *****

  “Daddy’s here!” Sun shouted, stating the obvious when they got home from training.

  “Duh,” Shyne teased since everyone could see his car parked in the driveway. That led to a karate chop, followed by a kick and then the twins went at it again.

  Yolo turned a blind eye to the daily sparring sessions even though she knew someone was going to get hurt. To her, it was like lion cubs practicing hunting on each other. She walked in the house and found Killa being pummeled by Christi and her college stories.

  “Hey there,” he said coolly though his eyes screamed ‘save me!’

  “Hey mister man,” Yolo sang like a school girl. There was no chill whenever he was around. She was hopelessly in love with the man and couldn’t hide it if she tried. “I hope you plan to grill?”

  “You want me to?” he asked licking his lips like he was LL Cool Killa.

  “Mm hm! You know I like it hot off the fire,” Yolo grunted.

  “Oh boy!” Christi laughed. “Guess I better take the karate kids to the park.”

  “No need, I’ll let them help me cook,” Killa said. He rustled up his kids and took them into the backyard to light the grill.

  Yolo joined them a few minutes later with hamburger patties and hotdogs ready to go on the grill. Sun was trying to mimic his dad’s every move while Shyne stared at the flames.

  “Does she always do that?” Killa asked watching his daughter watching the fire. It was like Shyne was in a trance as she watched the dancing flames.

  “Yes! That child scares me,” Yolo admitted. She had an obsession with fire.

  “She scares you!” Killa exclaimed then got a peek at what Yolo had changed into. “What are you wearing?”

  “Bait,” she giggled and jiggled under the tank top with no bra. A tiny pair of shorts was hiked up into her crotch letting her ass cheeks hang out the back.

  Killa shrugged and turned back to the grill as she went to her car. He was sure she would fill him in on whatever she had going on. Yolo drove a block away from her victim and walked around the block.

  Smoove was out front washing his pussy mobile when Yolo turned on the block. He was downwind and lifted his head and sniffed the air. He could actually smell new pussy and whipped his head from side to side to spot it.

  “Mm, mm, mph!” He frowned and zeroed in on Yolo’s crotch from half a block away. It seemed to get fatter
and fatter with each step.

  “Fuckin’ clown,” she mumbled to herself as she approached. He was too damn old to still be so fascinated by sex. There’s nothing worse than a grown ass man behaving like a child.

  “Sup lil mama? I’m Smooooove,” he said stretching his hand out as he stretched out his name.

  “Smoove?” Yolo snapped then caught herself, “hey Smoove, nice truck.”

  “Sure is,” he beamed proudly. The decked out SUV was almost ten years old but the fresh paint job and rims made it look new. New enough to trick gullible young girls out some ass. He spent all his money on the truck, so none of his kids got a dime of child support.

  “Can we go for a ride?” she giggled.

  “As long as you can ride,” Smoove said grabbing his crotch so there wouldn’t be any misunderstanding. Make no mistake he was trying to fuck something.

  “My mom goes to work at eleven,” she said setting the trap.

  “Want me to come pick you up?”

  “Nah, I’ll come back through,” Yolo said and departed. She put a little extra swing in her hips and felt his eyes palming her ass until she turned the corner.

  *****

  “You sir, have done it again!” Yolo proclaimed once she could speak again.

  “Thank you, thank you,” Killa said with his face practically dripping from pussy juice. He kissed his way up from her vagina and stuck his tongue in her mouth.

  “Wait!” she protested when he attempted to push inside of her. The clock was close to eleven and she had a date. “I gotta go help some kids get their S.S.I started.”

  “At this time of night? And what I’m ‘posed to do with this?” Killa asked holding his erection in his hand.

  “Keep it hard, I’ll be right back,” she said getting out of the bed. Killa watched her slip into a pair of shorts and t-shirt. She grabbed her DC 2000 from the closet and hit the door.

  Smoove was waiting impatiently when Yolo arrived. He was going to let her keep the roach of the blunt after he fucked her but she’d fucked that up.