Keeping Pace

by Dee Carney

  “Y-yes, I think so.”

  Still grinning with intentional syrupy fakeness, I said, “Now if you’ll just point in the direction of the physics section, I would be ever so grateful.”

  “Third floor stacks. Take a right off the elevator and head to the back. You can’t miss the signage.”

  The smile fell from my face. “Thank you.”

  Fortunately for my shattered nerves, her directions took me where I wanted to go. The elevator sat next to an elegant set of winding steps, and only the idea of trudging up three flights, to meet Josh while breathless, made me settle for waiting on the slow contraption.

  The sign reading “Physics” hung in white lettering on black where she’d said it would. Beneath, two rows of tables were littered with dozens of books, some cracked open. A few had pencils or pieces of paper marking spots the reader didn’t want to lose. At set intervals, old-fashioned lamps illuminated the tabletops for the three people sitting in wood chairs. None of them interacted with his or her neighbor. None of them was Josh.

  I knew this might be a possibility, I tried to tell myself. Still, no matter how many times I swallowed, I couldn’t get the lump in my throat to move. Disappointment at missing him, assuming he’d ever been here, tightened my insides until I could barely breathe.

  Not knowing how else to handle my roiling emotions, I stepped into the stacks and let the musky scent of books envelop me. As someone who lives for academia, I felt some measure of comfort from that aroma, enough to battle my disappointment into control. Not finding Josh now didn’t mean I would never find him. It was just a temporary setback.

  About to turn toward the exit—maybe see if I could negotiate the return of my money—I hesitated at the sound of tinkling laughter. It wasn’t so much the feminine giggling that caught my attention, but the familiar male chuckling harmonizing with it.

  I stood rooted. Unable to move. Unable to speak. So desperate to run to him, to babble everything I was feeling, to beg his understanding, I could do none of those things. Instead Josh rounded the corner, holding a stack of books yet staring into the face of a young woman who looked adoringly back at him.

  Time stretched on as I memorized them, their body language. Josh, my Josh, huddled so closely to this woman. Her dazzling white smile next to flawless skin. Her hair tied up in a ponytail while careless wisps dangled past her ears and onto bare shoulders. Pert breasts above a barely there waist. Short shorts. Long legs.

  Youth.

  Eyes burning, I whirled and bolted for the elevator. I pushed past a startled patron, making my way away from the twin rows of desks. My scalp tingled from the heat blazing across my face and leaking to the rest of my body. How foolish I’ve been. I thought we stood a chance. I thought maybe…

  “Regina?”

  Heart lodged in my throat, I stopped and then turned to face the quickly approaching man. My man. At least I hoped he still was.

  He looked frazzled yet stern. There wasn’t happiness in his eyes to see me.

  I licked my dry lips. “Hi Josh.”

  A tentative smile. “What are you doing here?”

  “I was in the neighborhood,” I said, with a shy smile of my own.

  The girl he’d been with moved beyond him to a cozy little table set up for two. Notepads and paper, Josh’s preferred writing utensils, had been spread out while she set up camp behind a laptop. She didn’t spare me a glance, as if she too knew I offered no competition for his affection.

  Giving voice to my growing fear, I said, “I shouldn’t have interrupted you and your friend.”

  He kept his gaze trained on me. “Julia’s waiting for her boyfriend to finish an exam. I wanted to hear how he’d done too. Never mind that, though.” His arms folded over his chest. “Right now, I’m more interested in hearing why you’re here.”

  I swallowed my jealousy, at once feeling foolish. “No reason,” I replied with a shrug.

  I thought about Lou and Beth. About the job I had no intention of returning to. My thoughts drifted over memories with Patrick. About the home we’d built together. I reflected on the past month with Josh and how much he’d come to mean to me. I thought about the life I’d been living and the one I wanted to live.

  “That’s not true,” I amended, my voice trembling. Moving, needing to focus my energy, I began to pace next to the elevator. But I kept my attention on him. “I came here to find you. I wanted to talk.”

  He tightened his arms across his chest. Softly, he said, “So talk.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “For not believing you. For not believing in you.” I gathered steam. Pushed ahead. “I’m sorry for doubting our future.” He took a step forward; I took one back. I needed him to hear me out. All of it. “I’m sorry for hiding from us, and I’m so very sorry for almost allowing others to get between us. You’ve been everything I could have asked for from the very beginning, but I kept pushing you away. And beautiful, patient you kept coming back. You kept trying to make me understand.”

  His gaze darted to behind me. “Regina, careful…”

  I took another step back, needing the distance. It helped me find the courage to find the right words. “That’s just it—I’ve been too careful. Not willing to put myself out there for you. And you deserve more than that. So here I am, putting myself out there. I love you, Joshua Smith. I love you with everything I am, and if not today, at least some day I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me for figuring it out too late.”

  Josh’s expression melted right in front of me. One minute I saw only stern resolution, a desire not to be touched by anything I said or did. But now, seconds after my declaration, my Josh returned to me with those smoky green eyes and the devil’s own grin. “Don’t move,” he said.

  Stock-still, I waited. Heart pounding, breath held, I waited. The few feet he crossed to get to me might as well have been thousands of miles. But then Josh pulled me into his arms, held me as I trembled. “And I love you too.” With those words, all of my anxiety released into the air and I swore I’d never allow it to return. “And I forgive you. We’ll do this, Regina. We’ll make it work.”

  His arms wrapped tighter. “But the next time you want to give me such an impassioned speech, for the love of God, don’t do it teetering on the edge of a stairwell. Between that and finally hearing you tell me you love me, I don’t think my heart could take it.”

  With a gasp, I glanced over my shoulder to find he was right. The spiral staircase dropped ominously a step away from where we clung to each other now. “It was my plan B,” I said with a forced chuckle. “In case you rejected me.”

  Josh pulled his head back, looking at me with silent adoration before brushing my bottom lip with his thumb. “Never.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  One year later…

  We settled into our seats, ready and excited for the game to begin. My husband was so studious during the week, his new job making more demands of him than we’d ever imagined, that I hoped this trip to the ball field would help relax him a little. Much to his surprise, he loved what he did, but to me, the workload was staggering.

  I wanted him to relax at last, for the first time since he’d started the position. Now that we were here, I forced him to purchase a beer for himself while I insisted on a Diet Coke for me. The look in those beautiful green eyes said he worried about the last time we’d been to the ball field, but I hoped the look in mine said all was forgiven.

  We’d grown a lot over the past year and had never repeated the mistakes of our first month together. I loved Josh with all my heart, and I knew he loved me. Nothing could come between us.

  The scent of popcorn, hot dogs and fried food hovered just above us. I smiled at the charged atmosphere and Josh’s eagerness to indulge in one of his favorite pastimes. He turned to me after I’d exhaled a deep sigh. “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” Despite my response, I was tired, and he knew it.

  He studied my fac
e. “What do you think about cutting back on the amount of courses you’re taking next semester?”

  “Probably a good idea. I hadn’t expected it to be this tough to go back.” I’d turned in my resignation the day after receiving the acceptance letter to grad school. I would miss Linda and some of my other coworkers, but I still hadn’t spoken to Lou since that day in the office.

  “One day I’ll convince you that we don’t need a second income.” He held up a hand when I started to protest. “But if you want an advanced degree, I’m behind you one hundred percent.”

  “Thank you.” I stifled a smug smile, because every time we discussed my going back to work or even attending school, we managed to come back to this same conclusion.

  Josh sipped his beer. “My parents invited us over for dinner on Sunday. Would that get in the way of your term paper deadline?”

  “No…that would be nice.” It wouldn’t, but I understood the duties required of a son. His parents had not been happy when we’d announced our engagement. They remained polite to me, though, and I decided it would have to be good enough for now.

  He grasped the back of my neck and pulled me toward him for a kiss. He tasted of beer and Josh, the latter always capable of getting me aroused. “What’s that for?” I asked.

  “For being such a bad liar.” He chuckled. “And for putting up with my parents.”

  A flush crawled up my neck. “They love you and just want what’s best for you.”

  “You’re what’s best for me.”

  If anyone overheard our conversation, they’d assume we were still in the honeymoon phase of our relationship, and technically, they’d be right. I had a feeling, though, that even with the passage of time, our attraction to each other would only grow. Somehow I’d been blessed with him, and I worked hard to make sure I never took it for granted. I’d lost Patrick too early in life, and if for some reason Josh was taken from me too, I wanted to make sure he knew how very important he’d been to me.

  People filed into their seats, squeezing past us and interrupting our conversation. Josh guarded our snacks while I just tried to keep from being trampled by clumsy feet.

  “You’d better enjoy this game,” I grumbled after a break in the passersby. “It might very well be the last one I attend for some time.”

  “Come on, sweetheart, this is part of the fun. You didn’t need your toes anyway.”

  “But what about my knees, and my boob?”

  “Your boob?”

  “Just got elbowed.”

  Josh hiccupped a small laugh. “Sorry.” I didn’t know if he apologized for the assault on my person or for laughing about it. “The second we get some privacy, I’ll kiss it and make it all better.”

  I slid my hand over his jeans, deliberately brushing near the bulge at his crotch. “I’m holding you to that.”

  He sucked in a breath, his eyes darkening. “You sure you don’t need to go the restroom right now?”

  “The restroom?”

  His voice made me shiver when he gave me a throaty growl next to my ear. “Five minutes…ten minutes tops. We can be in and out before anyone notices.”

  How my heart thundered at that. “You’re incorrigible.” I glanced at my watch. “It’s time to behave though. The game’s about to start.”

  Most of the crowd had found their seats, the announcers encouraging everyone to get ready for the action to begin. I studied the advertisements posted around the field and found my gaze drifting to the big-screen monitor. I pointed to it. “Hey, look at that.”

  Josh drew back in surprise. “Congrats, Josh and Regina Smith?” He looked around the crowd. “Someone’s a little late, but that’s nice of them.”

  “You think it’s about getting married?”

  He looked thoughtful for a minute. “I guess, but seven months later? Weird. And how did they know we’d be here today? I didn’t know until last week.”

  “Maybe it’s not about getting married, then.” I felt his gaze on my face, but I refused to look at him, knowing if I did, I would give myself away.

  “Then what?”

  “Maybe it’s about…the baby.”

  “What b—” I heard the rest of the word stick in his throat as his understanding blossomed. “Oh my God. Oh my God, you did that?”

  Finding my courage, I looked at him, my heart tripping at his wide grin, the joy in his eyes. “Fourteen weeks along. I wanted to make sure it took.”

  Josh jumped to his feet and shouted, “She’s having my baby!”

  The people around us erupted into cheers, whistles and clapping while Josh pulled me to him. He squeezed the air out of my lungs in a tight hug, as if he were afraid this was a dream and I would vanish at any moment. I hugged him back, tears sliding down my face. It had killed me not to tell him all this time, to hide the evidence, but I’d been looking forward to this moment from the instant I’d woken up with a flu that wasn’t a flu after all.

  “Oh Christ, I love you, Regina.” His words were muffled against my head, but I heard every one of them. “Thank you, thank you…”

  Putting his hand beneath my chin, he tipped my face to his. His eyes were shiny with unshed tears. “I take it you’re happy?” I asked, somehow managing to push the words through my emotion-tightened throat.

  Josh lowered his lips to mine, kissing me with the same passion that had kept us buoyed for the past year. The same kiss he gave me every night. The one that ignited my arousal as no other could.

  We were still kissing when he scooped me into his arms and sat in the seat. Despite our awkward position, the plastic chair holding two of us up when it was only meant for one, we continued to kiss. To love.

  And we were still kissing when the first ball was thrown, missing the opening of the game, but I didn’t mind at all.

  About the Author

  Dee Carney began writing short stories in middle school, but did not attempt completion of a novel until almost ten years later—which, despite good intentions, she never finished. Almost ten years later, she challenged herself to begin writing again, and her love for storytelling was rekindled.

  Now, Dee is a best-selling, award-winning author who lives at home in Georgia with her husband, two dogs, and a cat. When not writing, Dee is usually curled up on the couch with a good book!

  To learn more about all of Dee’s books, please visit her on the web at www.deecarney.com.

  Last call? She’ll take a double. Straight up, please…

  Happy Hour

  © 2010 Mari Carr

  For six years, widow Grace Wright’s days have been filled as a single working mother. Now, with her daughter graduating, her nest is yawning before her, wide and empty. And so is the upcoming weekend. Invited out by her coworkers, she decides it’s time to turn that corner and get on with her life.

  Jamie’s had his eye on Grace for years, but it never seemed the right time to approach her. Tonight, something’s different. The sexual signals she’s giving off are unmistakable—and he’s not the only man in the bar who’s noticed. His best friend, Trey, is breaking a sweat just looking at the delectable English teacher.

  The two men make her the offer of a lifetime, and Grace doesn’t hesitate. For one night, Jamie and Trey indulge her every desire, every fantasy, every naughty craving. In the morning Trey is gone with the wind, but Jamie is holding on to every moment as if he never wants to let go. Leaving her wondering if another chance at forever is too much to ask…

  Warning: Contains a red-hot ménage, anal sex, graphic language, bondage and toys. Serve with a tall, cool one with plenty of ice. How ’bout another round?

  Enjoy the following excerpt for Happy Hour:

  Jamie refused to have his night with Grace ruined by Carmen and he reacted before he thought. He leaned over and kissed Grace, a hard, full-on, open-mouthed kiss. He half expected her to pull away and slap him, so he was pleasantly surprised when she wrapped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss.

  He wasn’t sure how lo
ng he inhaled the sweet scent of her breath and tasted the tang of beer on her tongue. He gripped her waist and held on, reveling in the moment. Their first kiss and it was better than he’d ever imagined. Her lips were soft against his, but her response proved she wouldn’t be a passive or timid lover. She touched his tongue with hers, exploring his mouth while her fingers tugged his hair, pulled him closer.

  The kiss betrayed her true feelings and had his mouth been free, he’d have shouted his happiness to the entire bar. She was as hungry for him as he was for her. For a moment, the rest of the world faded away, leaving just the two of them, lost in their own private Eden.

  And then reality intruded.

  “Jamie?” Finally, the female voice penetrated his lust-clouded mind and he regretfully pulled away. “Jamie?”

  He turned to find Carmen standing beside the table, looking confused—and shit—upset. He hated hurting her, but she didn’t understand when he said he wasn’t interested in dating her. When faced with the idea of listening to her nonstop boring conversation another night, he’d acted on instinct. “Hey, Carmen,” he said, forcing a nonchalant tone to his voice.

  “Hi,” she said. “I thought I spotted you over here.” An awkward silence fell, and Jamie decided it was time to carry the subterfuge to the next level.

  “Have you met my girlfriend, Grace?”

  “Girlfriend?” Carmen asked.

  He nodded and was grateful when Grace smiled kindly. “I think we may have met a few months ago. At another happy hour, maybe?”

  Carmen shrugged and Jamie saw Trey roll his eyes. No doubt Carmen didn’t remember the fact she’d met Grace at least three times in the past. She wasn’t exactly bright and she certainly never paid a bit of attention to the other women at the table, usually saving all of that mind-numbing banter for him or Trey.

  “Isn’t she a little old for you?” Carmen asked.

  Jamie fought back the urge to tell the woman off for her cruelty. “No. She isn’t.” His words were clipped and halting and any fool could see he was furious. Unfortunately, Carmen was the queen of fools.