The Letters of Sylvia Plath Volume 1

by Sylvia Plath

  It was so lovely to walk into the warmth of a strange yet congenial room, and feel the delightful surge of relaxation as you realized that exams were over – and nothing was immediately demanding. Marcia whipped up the most delicious combination of scrambled eggs, melted cheese, garlic salt & pepper (and bacon) imagineable, and hot chocolate topped it off. We sat in the living room and ate a lovely pie and talked till we got so silly that we went upstairs and fell into the double bed. This morning we got up early and Marcia and I had a delightfully leisurely breakfast while chatting with her mother and aunt. Marcia & I then drove to Peterboro to go shopping – and browsed around the country stores. After lunch back home (tomato soup – liederkrantz cheese, applesauce – etc.) Aunt and Marcia and I went on a long hike. The roads are about a foot thick with solid ice, and the views are lovely. The sun was sort of vague in a gray cold sky, and I was grateful for my pajama bottoms under my ski pants and my navy sweater under my plaid shirt. After being out in the bitter air for an hour or two, I feel rather drowsy, and am working by turns on Monday’s history assignment with Marcia.

  I sort of hate the idea of going back to school tomorrow--- it is so nice up here, but I’ll write more later.

  Love

  Sivvy –

  PS Thanks for the pictures!

  TO Aurelia Schober Plath

  Sunday 4 February 1951*

  ALS, Kenneth W. Rendell Gallery*

  Here are the pics, and thank you muchly. It is now midnight Sunday night and I have gotten back from the nicest weekend I ever had! I am no longer pale & pasty, but ruddy with windburn & sunburn from being out all day today and yesterday. Marcia and I got up at 10 and had a lovely liesurely breakfast in the front living room of the dear little house. Then we went out into the most beautiful world imagineable! Snow had fallen in a fine powder last night, and the sun was out in a snow-blue sky. A white-New-England church is so lovely – and it was one of those heavenly dry-cold days, with blinding sun and snow and sharp blue shadows. The air was swimmingly blue. A kind neighbor loaned me a pair of skis and I ‘skiid’ for the first time in my life. We were off on a nice pasture lot in the heart of the snow-covered N.H. Hills, and I never have been so thrilled in my life! None of the wobbly-ankeled insecurity of skates! Of course the modest little gently rolling hill I learned on was not Sun Valley, but I would love to really learn. Marcia was a dear, telling me how to hold the poles, etc. Skiing, if you can do it well, must be pretty close to feeling like God. To bed & my six hour day tomorrow –

  Your happy girl

  Sylvia

  TO Aurelia Schober Plath

  Monday 5 February 1951*

  ALS (postcard), Indiana University

  Monday night

  Dear Mum –

  It is now midnight, and I am about to collapse in bed. Tomorrow I have vowed to go to bed at nine, after washing my hair – but tonight I did no work – just had fun. It was rugged to sit through 6 hours today – and look forward to the same tomorrow. But right after supper tonight three of us dashed down to the movie to see “Harvey.”* It was very whimsical, and I enjoyed crying in spots. After we came back we spent an hour reading aloud from Mary Poppins and Winnie the Pooh. It brought back such pleasant memories! No exams have come back yet – just my Eng. theme with another grudging A-. That should give me a B+ for midyears, & I’m determined to wring an A- out of him by finals! We must plan to have Marcia Brown down for a weekend or during spring vacation for a few days – she’d love to see Boston & plays. Is anything good coming? As she lives in N. Jersey I might see “Lady’s not For Burning” with her spring vac. in New York! I hope it works out.

  Love,

  Sivvy.

  TO Aurelia Schober Plath

  Thursday 8 February 1951*

  ALS with envelope,

  Indiana University

  Thursday night

  Dear Mother –

  Well, I have just realized that I haven’t written much mail lately, and that perhaps you were in on the short end. So I’ll catch you up on news.

  I still haven’t got my history exam back yet, but got 91% in Botany and A- in French. I still find it hard for my tender ego to see other girls getting straight A with all sorts of wonderful comments. Pat O’Neil is doing wonderfully – she should, as she works so hard. A- in history! A- in French! A- in Greek. Now I ask you if that isn’t marvelous for a friend of mine!

  Oh yes – one encouraging thing! A girl came up to me from another art section & said “Oh, Sylvia, they showed your work in class today as an example of a promising Freshman.” I just hope it’s true! (I never believe anything good about myself.) But I do feel that those loving hours I spend in the studio may help. Keep your fingers crossed.

  Bob Humphrey wrote about how they all missed me last weekend. The sweetest letter from Tony Stout came this afternoon. I really feel that my writing is an invaluable weapon. After not hearing from him since my refusal to his Christmas invitation (I invited him to drop in during vacation) I decided he was too promising to lose, and so last weekend while at Marcia’s I composed a very strategic note – revealing my love for art & writing rather subtly and also my despisal (sp?) of superficial fraternity beer busts. The thing was calculated to reveal enough of myself to make him reply in one way or another. And the result was the dearest six page letter about our being “kindred spirits.” His naivté is charming – and he said, Among other things that he has always had “a sort of wary, uneasy feeling about young females. This can be traced to a great shyness that I had years ago.” Years ago! Don’t you love that? I must let you read his letter – it is so trusting and self-revealing that I could cry. I am rather amazed that I can touch off the secret spring of confidence in someone I only knew casually – but I am rather touched by the consequences. He says “Am I correct in saying you are in love with Education?” A rather good perception, I think, for him to make.

  This weekend, as lots of girls are going to the Dartmouth Winter Carnival, I’ll spend two nights sleeping downstairs in Marcia’s room – she got me a blind date for this Sat. I think you’d love her – she’s adorably little (like Betsy) and logical & lovable & intelligent.

  Love,

  Sivvy

  P.S. Thanks for the astrology. I like the part about choosing the eagle or scorpion.

 

  P.S. Saw “Harvey” Monday

  Saw Pearl Primus* (African) dance Wednesday

  TO Aurelia Schober Plath

  Saturday 10 February 1951*

  ALS (postcard), Indiana University

  Sat –

  Dear Mum –

  Well, it is a bright freezing day, and last night I slept with a sweater, bathrobe & wool socks on – and still my nose & toes had to be thawed back to shape. I am living downstairs for the weekend -- and as Marcia and I were doing our French last night, we both felt like groaning at the thought of dragging out the entertaining side of our personalities tonight on the date – so she telegrammed them that we are sick & the two of us stodgy females will take in a concert* by ourselves instead. Last night I went to supper at Jack August’s “lobsterie”* with a party of 16 females – Pat & Louise had engineered a party for Jeannie Woods who is up visiting for the weekend. I wrote a note to grampy – the gift ($25.!!-) came just as I was reluctantly preparing to go down to the bank. See you in 5½ short weeks –

  Love.

  Sylvia

  TO Aurelia Schober Plath

  Sunday 11 February 1951*

  ALS (postcard), Indiana University

  Sunday

  Dear Mum –

  I am jotting you a little note as I sit in the libe this afternoon, ready to dig into work. Marty and I had a lovely day yesterday. In the afternoon we took our laundry to the Bendix – only 40¢ for a big load – and bought tea & cake and went for a 2 hour walk in the “country.” One thing – we sure get enough fresh air – she’s the only gal around here who takes looong walks. We had tea, and then supper, after which we we
nt to the concert which was lovely. I’m so glad I decided not to go out. I could have gone with the U. of. M. boy, but Cupid that I am, I got him a date with Barb Michelsen – & they hit it off. I got Guy Wilbor a date with a girl’s cousin next week & refused a date with him this Sat! Marty & I got in about 11 last night and sat & knit & listened to all sorts of records in our pj’s till 12:30. We had a late breakfast & walk this A.M. and here I am, after a lovely weekend. Both of us hate women en masse. But individually they are nice. Love life – smiling all the time.

  Happy Valentine’s Day

  Sivvy

 

  P.S. Please send mittens – I’ve lost my old ones!

  TO Ann Davidow-Goodman

  Wednesday 14 February 1951

  ALS, Smith College

  Feb 14 –

 

  Wed

  Dearest Ann –

  Honestly, I just love hearing from you. It’s like getting a shot of personality in the arm & I never fail to feel much much better.

  You’ve got the breeziest way of saying things – and I adore it. By now you’ve crawled into the wastebasket blushing, so I’ll turn with effort to a more neutral subject – (Neutral, she says!) Eddie! I was in hysterics over your conversation with him (imaginary, of course.) Frankly, Ann, I would give anything for you to meet him any time you had the chance – and you would know what to say. I mean if he had false teeth and three legs that didn’t show in the picture he sent, you could sort of tell me gently. But – I don’t think he’s still at Marshall Fields. I last heard from him on January 24. That’s just about the longest interval yet. I just got around to answering him last week, so he still has time to come through. But, he said in that letter that he was going back to Roosevelt College this semester after spending a week with Rita in Wisconsin to “shed a clearer light” on things.

  So I don’t know. Would he be married? Heaven forbid. I suppose it would be too much to ask you to track him down in his lair – 1422 Winona Ave. But someday if you are feeling adventurous – do look up the adress & walk by his apartment. Is it a tenement? Are women lurking by the lamposts? You’ve got me!

  I liked your pep talk. I needed it but bad. As for the boy situation it looks suddenly brighter. I stayed home with Marcia last Saturday night and slept in her room for two nights as Teed & Carol were at the Dartmouth Winter Carnival. I had the opportunity for three dates (it sounds wonderful when I say it numerically – but individually they’re all sad-cases.) Marcia & I gave up our blind date plans. I got Guy a date with dodie’s cousin and the U. of M. boy a date with Barb Michelson. A good time was had by all – especially Marcia & I.

  As if by magic I got a completely unexpected letter a week or so ago. It was from the older brother of a boy I used to adore. Both are at Yale the only people I know there. Out of the blue, Dick Norton (a senior) wrote* asking me down for this weekend. Nothing is “happening”, but I don’t give a damn. Ann, he is just the sort of boy I’d love to get to know better – a med student, good-looking, intelligent! Oh, I’ll stop there. You see, our families have known each other for years, and he has always been very paternal & “older brother-ish” to me. So I thought he was asking me down just to give little sister a big thrill and a homey time of taking walks in the country (which I love) and tours of the campus. So I wrote a brief little letter as sparkly as I could, hoping he’d see I wasn’t overawed (which I was.) So now, before he sees me, he asks me down for 2 days in March!!* That was what tantalized me & got me wondering – what he was up to. Wish me luck! After one semester of sad blind dates, I hope at least to have these two weekends turn out right!

  If you could be here now you would laugh. The past week has been the flare-up about rooms. I never have seen anything at once so sickening and so pathetically funny! The seniors have already chosen, and the juniors (this years sophs) are all moving over here. The only trouble is, they all want singles, and there are only a couple left – so roommates are either going to hate each other next year or lots of people are going to be miserable & move out. The Freshman picture is even more interesting. In Wesley, the pairs are Charlotte* & Joan,* Reggie & Maureen, Diana & Sarah,* with Sonia* the extra. Here, however, things have been very tense. Callie, Carol Pierson, and Nancy Teed evidently have been brewing a scheme for quite some time to room in a suite of three. It all burst out in the open on Monday when Marcia & Lola* were told the news by their respective roommates. Naturally it was a shock to both, who had sort of planned on a four year deal. Well, I was bowled over. I knew Barb Michelson would room with anyone. Betsy Blanton had planned on rooming with Teed – who never thought of it seriously. Betsy Whittemore would have roomed with Barb or me. Lola was miserable – not wanting to room with anyone. There were no single rooms. Everyone had to have a mate. So we all (with the exception of Carol, Teed & Marcia) got together and said we’d straighten things out openly (heh-heh) without any hurt feelings. Everybody sat there feeling very open-minded and giving with tense laughter. I felt in the position of utmost ease, as, aside from Callie, Carol & Teed, I had the best choice. I could keep my room and remain single – or wed myself to one of the pool. Needless to say, the only one I’d give up my freedom for would be Marcia. So I went down and talked to her, and amid stammers & blushes we agreed that we each either wanted to try our fate together or stay alone & not mix with the common herd. So I’m going to room with her next year, of all things. That left four people in the unique position of wanting roommates & having to have them – but not wanting each other at all. Four odd people without a match. Lola at last agreed to room with Bobby, as much as she was reluctant. Whittemore is thinking of moving to the German house, as she doesn’t know if she can stand Blanton another year. And so we close our little intrigue. “Everyone lived happily ever after . . . ” Marcia comes nowhere as close as you – so it’s hard – a little. But I’ll try. I need to learn to adjust to someone, & she’s the only one I’d care to make the effort for after you’ve gone.

  It is raining; & although the only thing wrong with me is lack of sleep, I’ve taken a yellow slip & am being pampered by staying in bed & catching up on all my back work. It got so I couldn’t face it, so I took this way out.

  Be good – Davy –

  All my love,

  Sylvy

  P.S. The picture* is for laughs.

  TO Aurelia Schober Plath

  Wednesday 14 February 1951*

  ALS (postcard), Indiana University

  Wednesday

  Dear Mum –

  I took a yellow slip & stayed in bed today, although I am fine. But in the last 2 days I haven’t been to bed till after midnight, and have gotten no work done as there has been the stew over roommates which is so involved that no explanation would suffice. A least I am happy & sure, although many others are not. I’m just lucky. So I thought I’d catch up on sleep & work today as much as I hate to miss History section. Speaking of History – guess what!!! I got straight A on my midyear exam!!! I just don’t see how my luck (that’s what it is -- just chance that I reviewed the right thing) can hold out. I slept for two hours this morning & am really glad I decided not to go to classes because it is half snow-&-raining out, and I know I would have been “courting a cold.” I want to be well & rested for this weekend. I hope I can steer away from colds till spring vacation. Louise G. is rather unhappy & wants to changes houses! I love you all –

  XXX

  Sivvy

  TO Aurelia Schober Plath

  Thursday 15 February 1951*

  ALS (postcard), Indiana University

  Thursday

  Dear Mum –

  Got the cookies today & mittens – many thanks! I had my hair washed & set this morning & it sure was a luxury to feel someone else doing the job for a change. The charge was 1.75. The man didn’t approve of the cut -- said it was too short for the page boy I wanted. So I gratefully said I’d let it grow & have him trim & set it some time in March. It seems I have hit
a midwinter slump. Ever since I’ve come back from Francestown I haven’t been able to work or study or get enthusiastic about much scholastically. I guess it’s just a reaction from plugging so hard for those 2 exam weeks. You might be amused to hear I got a rather stiff letter from Bob Riedeman today. Still signs “Love”, poor thing. You know just as well as I do where I’m going this weekend.* How did you find out?

  Love

  Sivvy

  TO Aurelia Schober Plath

  Monday 19 February 1951*

  ALS, Indiana University

  Monday

  Dear Mother –

  I am enclosing my check from SEVENTEEN for deposit. And Grampy did send me $25 – incredible as it seems. I do hope he didn’t do it by mistake.

  As for my weekend – I thought I’d wait to tell you after it happened so you wouldn’t spend half your days wondering & worrying about me. I left Sat. morning to go to Yale with Dick Norton – who wrote & asked me to drop down for a day or two for God knows what reason. I think he thought it would be a nice thing to do – show little cousin around the campus. But I did have a good time and learned a great deal. It rained all day Saturday, so we sat & talked in his room. He knows everything. I am so firmly convinced that knowledge comes through science that I would like to get some elementary books of physics or chemistry or math & study them this spring vacation and this summer. Perhaps Warren could help me. For I am the strange sort of person who believes in the impersonal laws of science as a God of sorts and yet does not know what any of those laws are. I don’t care if I am not “mathematically minded.” All that I write or paint is, to me, valueless if not evolved from a concrete basis of reasoning, however un-complex it must be. Now don’t laugh & say that I must be content in my own little 2-dimensional world. Poetry & art may be the manifestations I’m best suited for, but there’s no reason why I can’t learn a few physical laws to hold me down to something nearer truth.