by Sylvia Plath
Love to all –
Sivvy
TO Aurelia Schober Plath
Sunday 2 December 1951*
ALS (postcard), Indiana University
Dear Mother,
Sunday morning it is, and I am shut up in my little room with a horrible prospect of working on religion all day. The paper is due next Friday, but I have an exam this Wed & next Monday (a week away) both of which I must study for like fury. No rest for the weary – I am so sleepy, too. Yesterday I spent 2 hours in the afternoon decoration for a small dance they were having in the crew house. Eric came at 4, and we went to a bar in town (my first bar), observed people and discussed poetry and art – after which we took an hour walk & talked about God and moral standards. Lamb chop dinner at Rahar’s – and “Oliver Twist.”* All in all, he is a nice homely baby. For some reason, life seems very depressing at present. No doubt it is because I have so much plodding work to do ahead of me that I can’t really be free a minute without feeling guilty. Also, am rather worn. Ah me. No sonnets till Xmas vacation. Cheerio –
Love,
Sylvia
TO Aurelia Schober Plath
Wednesday 5 December 1951*
ALS with envelope,
Indiana University
Wednesday
Dear mother –
With two weeks of solid drudgery ahead, I was feeling pretty awful as the week ground into motion. And lack of sleep, plus my period, led to a great depression. But somehow, when I feel most bereft and disillusioned, the unexpected always happens. In this case, it was the letters which kept me going. Tonight, at last, I will go to bed early. Really. Imagine – I had an English written this morning, a press Board assignment,* too, and in the next two days I have the phenomenal job of writing that huge research Religion paper, due Friday. From which I have to plunge into studying for the Government written Monday. (Had a lovely conference with my teacher & convinced him that I was getting a lot out of the course, and only want to express perfectly what I know in my head. Got to really come through this time.) To top it off, I have a creative writing paper* due the friday before house dance, as well as a three weeks art project which I haven’t even begun yet. Not to mention my being co-chairman of decorations for House dance. Not a great office, but it will look good on the Elks list: Also, I am on the decoration committee for Charity Ball (in February) and entertainment Chairman for the Sophomore Prom. (In April.)
So glad Warren has an invitation to the Xmas Cotillion. I suggest he write to the girl of his choice immediately. At high school, people have the advantage of seeing each other & talking over invitations. He should make the most of his handicaps of distance & get to work, so he won’t futiley be calling up prospective dates a few days before the dance.
Eric writes that he is falling in love with me, which is heartening, although somewhat a dead-end as far as I am concerned. He called me up the Sunday after we went to make sure I was feeling all right – I had gone in an hour early that Saturday, saying I felt tired. We had a great long discussion on moral behavior on Saturday. Believe it or not, he said he wanted to tell me something that he had never told anyone else. Guess what! So I asked him about his one experience with a prostitute, and was much interested to learn what sort of a personality the woman had, also a little about the procedure in houses of “ill fame.” Said Eric, “You know, you aren’t like other girls. You understand, and aren’t shocked or anything.” At that point I burst into silent laughter at the irony of the affair. The fact was, that I don’t care a whit about him, and so was intelligently curious merely – a case history sort of thing.
Gordon – the rich Canadian wrote an appreciative letter on receiving the picture of me. I have a hunch he is working for a bid to a Smith dance, Just a hunch. Wouldn’t it be exciting to have a date fly down from Toronto! Heh heh.
The best news was from dear Constantine whom I thought I’d never hear from again after the last two refusals. I am seriously considering a daring scheme – to evolve a working attempt to remedy the date situation. As far as I’m concerned, Dick is still a nice brilliant handsome guy, but Constantine looks promising. So what say I go to New Jersey for the first few days of vacation so I can date my beautiful Russian in New York? I haven’t spent any money on weekends all semester, except the one coming home. Shall I write to Constantine and take him up on his offer to withdraw all his money from the bank to take me to a Russian restaurant for dinner, dancing, and deep intellectual communion? I can’t afford to miss him. I do adore him – and want to corroborate the dream by seeing if he stands up under the test of daytime wear. I need a lovely, honest man quite badly. I’d be home that weekend, no doubt – about the 21st. It is all nebulous now – so what do you think? I have gone through enough little hells this Thanksgiving – shall I try to inject Xmas with Russian flavor –
Love your peregrinating daughter
XX
Sivvy
TO Constantine Sidamon-Eristoff
Saturday 8 December 1951
ALS, Private owner
December 8,
Dear Connie . . .
Sitting on the floor I am, in Haven House livingroom, with the jazz notes of the piano beating into the back of my consciousness, and somehow in spite of the plethora of papers and writtens due in the next week, I feel a sudden surge of gaiety . . . Christmas-tinged already. The commercial holiday spirit has been evident in store windows ever since Thanksgiving, but I have remained relatively untouched by it until now.
New England has bestowed upon us a benevolent cover of iced slush, and somehow I can’t believe in springtime any more. After just so many days of bare trees and sullen gray skies, one begins to think that is the only reality there ever was. You know what I mean?
All of which is neither here nor there – and goes to show my facility (regrettable, perhaps) for embroidering in stream-of consciousness style at the slightest provocation.
Much there is that I want to tell you. Among other things, that I am extremely pleased with my courses this year – (in spite of my complaining about work, etc.) Creative Writing and painting are my favorites – I’ll tell you about the delightfully peculiar female* I have for C. W. – seems she writes murder mystery after murder mystery – has been in the army, worked in factories, lived in sin, or something equally delicious, in Greenwich Village.
What I really have been wanting to tell you is something quite lovely. To whit: I have been invited to spend a few days with my roommate’s family at the beginning of Christmas vacation. Since she lives, heureusement, in South Orange, New Jersey, I will be able to get to New York quite easily, you see. I’ll be staying at her house from Tuesday night, December 18th, to Friday, December 21st. Thus, if you would like to see me any time during those days – let me know, do, so I can plan. One slight item – I have been to New York all of once in my career, and as I told you, I am not the most practical creature as far as directions are concerned.
Seriously, I want very much to get to know you. It is hard, somehow, to really become acquainted with someone in college, what with the gay, often superficial party system of weekending . . . but I feel that the rapport established at that sparkling occasion last fall might well be renewed. I hope so.
Let me know, my gallant Georgian, if and when I shall see you.
Sylvia
P.S. Cartoons are expressly to cheer the somewhat nostalgic mood that one young male was in when he last wrote.
TO Aurelia Schober Plath
Sunday 9 December 1951*
ALS (postcard), Indiana University
Sunday
Dear mum . . .
Well, I have decided! I am going to visit Marcia from Dec 18-21. So Ill be home sometime that Friday. I’m so excited – Christmas shopping in New York – and I hope to buy Dick a Picasso print for his room. Also, Mrs. B. has 3 tickets for “Don Juan in Hell.”!* I have written Constantine Sidamon-Eristoff to tell him I’ll take him up on his “Russian restaurant offer.” . . drew several colored sketches* – hope that gets him to live up to his promise. I have been to bed at ten the last two nights – no longer feel tired, and plan to keep it up – Gov. exam tomorrow. – Well, if I study 9 hours today, I should get a “B.” Miss Page liked “To Eva”* – even wants me to make an appointment about it to talk to her. Do call Phil* about Warren – say I want to have him & the German guy over for dinner during vacation – after the 21st. Mrs. Freeman sent me a great delicious box of fudge, cookies, & brownies. Her card bore the pious quote: “The home is woman’s paradise.” No doubt she considers herself a missionary, converting the wayward
XXXXXXX
S.
TO Aurelia Schober Plath
Thursday 13 December 1951
ALS with envelope,
Indiana University
December 13
Dear Mother –
Boy, I’ve never been so busy in my life! Just finished typing a fifteen page theme for creative writing which took me hours to toss together. The only trouble is that I would like to give it more than the usual rough draft, and rewriting. Time however, does not allow any such meticulous composition. The best I can do is rework after I’ve gotten corrections from good old Miss Page herself. This latest is about Mary Ventura – how successful as a rough try, I don’t know.
Tonight we’re having house meeting – late again tonight – to wind up business before Christmas vacation. I plan to go to bed early tomorrow to make ready for house dance weekend – Dick wrote* me the cheery news that he has come down with a cold (no doubt caught from his date last weekend.) So I shall keep my distance.
I have been forced to drop my work in courses where I’ve already had writtens so I can keep up with work in other subjects. For example, I have a great art assignment due Monday – which I will have to work on all tomorrow afternoon and evening and Sunday, after Dick goes. So I am bring home a government book to read, plus English poetry by the load from Browning to the Rosetti’s. Also, I must best needs create two masterful stories in my idle moments. – All of which work is really enjoyable and cultural, you understand. All I am planning on over vacation are those three “occasions,” plus a possible dinner & play with Phil, and a lunch with Patsy and Louise. – So I hope between times to rest and study – no emotional upsets – I guarantee! Just so long as I keep well.
It is really frightening to see days chopped into frantic segments, with a dozen alternative choices for work crying to be done. I am really glad that I am going to Marcia’s, though. Even if it costs quite a bit, I feel that I am extremely frugal in other respects and that I should not close such doors of experience – New York, play, art museums – etc. I am terribly excited to see all the great stores, and the lights at Christmas.
I bought Mrs. Brown a little hostess-Christmas gift – and wrapped it in silver paper, tied with blue ribbon. – Bought her two little tins of “paté de foie gras” – which Marcia says she adores. Also bought Marcia a little dish from Sweeden – very pretty pottery for her hope chest. The only thing I haven’t been able to find is nice Christmas cards.
I went down to Hamp yesterday to shop, and was aesthetically exhilarated by all the Christmas smells and colors. There were the loveliest displays at the Hampshire bookshop – pottery, glassware, and lovely books. – I felt I could buy so many wonderful things if only I had a few thousand dollars. Books and clothes and the theater are my few cardinal weaknesses. There were so many little luxuries I would have liked to get for you, and Marcia!
My letter writing is going to pot again. I managed a great burst, and then let go.
Oh, by the way, I went to the Christian Science lecture by Margaret Morrison* from Boston – covered it for the press Board. I almost had hysterics – she was a Pollyanna-ish whitehaired – sweet-sweet old female who burbled on in a lyrical way about how truth, love, happiness, health, were always flowing always from the great divine mind. All is mind – transcending the “falsities of the flesh.” Health is also a state of mind – disease not cured by “mindless drugs” as falsely supposed, but a freeing of the mind from fear & doubt. I was just laughing away inside as I took notes.
The funniest thing was the old woman who rushed up to me afterwards, pressed my hand fervently and trilled, “My dear, I saw you taking notes! Are you really that interested in Christian Science!* I think that’s just wonderful.”
Whereupon I said “Oh, yes, isn’t it,” and slipped hurriedly out into the night.
See you Friday – will no doubt call from some rail road station – me and the pack mules –
Love,
Sivvy
TO Constantine Sidamon-Eristoff
Saturday 15 December 1951
ALS, Private owner
December 15
Dear Connie –
Votre SD letter arrived importantly in the midst of Christmas tree trimming and much tinsel and sparkles. Very appropriate. To be relevant, your plans for Thursday sound simply delightful. I would be extremely pleased to meet your parents and all – but don’t, my enchantingly mad Georgian, go to great labors for things to do. I am amazingly easy to satisfy. You know, the sort of character who can sit for hours and meditate on the ocean in great content – not that I do it in this sort of weather, though. Save it, huh?
At any rate, with the aid of a map (drawn obligingly by my roommate;) I will plan to meet you at 5 p.m., Thursday, the 20th, at the McAlpin Hotel* – in the lobby, or wherever people congregate.
I will be arriving at 36A Cottage Street, South Orange, N.J., on Tuesday evening, so if you want to say hello or alter plans you can call me there (Mrs. Carol T. Brown, is the name of my hostess,) – Tel: South O. 33479.
If all goes well (no losing myself or anything), I’ll be seeing you around 5 p.m. Thursday at the McAlpine!
Vacationally yours –
Sylvia
1952
TO Marion Freeman
Tuesday 1 January 1952
ALS with envelope, Smith College
January 1, 1952
Dear Aunt Marion –
Greetings for the New Year to you! It seems almost impossible that Christmas vacation will be over in a day or two. Unfortunately I have been confined in bed with a nasty sinus infection for over a week, now, and have been up today for the first time in what seems to be ages. Naturally I wanted to send a note in your direction – thanking you, Ruthie, and David for your thoughtful gifts to us.
I spent many convalescent hours enjoying my beautiful volume of drawings and prose about Europe (it was almost as good as taking a vacation myself.) And of course Warren, being so interested in music, was greatly pleased with the book on Haydn. All in all, I don’t know how you could have made a better choice for each of us!
We have been having a delightful vacation (visits from friends and so on) in spite of my confinement to quarters – and my only regret is that the Plaths and Freemans live so far apart – but we certainly thought of you, and hoped for the most enjoyable of vacation festivities. Warren and I still remember those lovely times when we were little and used to gather at your house for carol singing!
Do give my special love to Ruthie, and thanks to you all once more for remembering us so generously at Christmas time
.
Love to all – from Our house to your house –
Sylvia
P.S. I did want to tell you, too, how my roommate and I loved that delectable box of goodies you sent up to me. Never have I tasted such delicious cooking! I just hope that someday I will be able to make the same wonderful treats in a kitchen of my own . . ,
S.
TO Aurelia Schober Plath
Friday 4 January 1952*
ALS, Indiana University
Dear Mum –
Here are the two items requested – No trouble about the blank---another girl asked for one just as I did, so I didn’t feel guilty. I’ll keep on with nosedrops & Trimeton till this damn head clears up. Eric called last night just as I was going to bed and must have spent I don’t know how much on the phone bill, for we talked for quite a while (he was at New Haven, not North Carolina!) He wanted to come up this Saturday, but I postponed it, till the next one – I’m resting & working this weekend!
Marcia is supremely well – plans to get married in 1954, engaged in 1953 & pinned next fall. Practicality, wot? She gave me a beautiful copy of the “Pisan Cantos”* by Pound for a belated Xmas gift.
Work et al. make the next 4 weeks drudgery. Cheery morale boosting missives will be much appreciated –
Love,
Sivvy
TO Aurelia Schober Plath
Monday 14 January 1952*
ALS (postcard), Indiana University
Dear Mum –
Just a note to add to your burdens! If you get this in time please empty (carefully) my old art portfolio, put away the pictures where they can’t be hurt, & bring the empty one up. We have to have one, & I figure I can’t afford a second. Also remember skates & skating socks! If you get here early, why not just go upstairs to the second floor, (rm 6) and make yourself at home till I get there at 12. Or talk with Mrs. Shakespeare.