NO ORDINARY ROOM

by Bill Williams

  ‘I don’t think we’ve got rats. We had one and now he’s gone.’

  ‘So how did you catch it and why all that banging?’

  ‘Well, I had it trapped inside of Uncle Stanley’s old overcoat. I could feel the so and so under the cloth and I whacked it as hard as I could with a hammer I got out of the shed. I must have hit it five times because I wanted to make sure that I’d killed it outright, not wanting it to suffer.’

  ‘I didn’t think you had it in you and before breakfast. So, it’s dead then?’

  ‘Not exactly,’ Kevin replied.

  ‘Well you made enough noise to kill an elephant never mind a rat,’ Debbie said.

  ‘I know, but when I’d delivered the last blow, I carefully unfolded the overcoat, expecting to see …’ Kevin paused and then continued, ‘expecting to see one very squashed and dead rat, but it had managed to move out of the way and all my blows had missed it.’

  ‘So, it’s still in the house?’ Debbie asked anxiously.

  ‘No, I let him go outside. Thing is, Debs, when I peeled back the coat I saw these two beady eyes looking up at me and they seemed to be begging for mercy. I thought it deserved a reprieve after all my attempts to finish it off. I suppose it was a bit like a condemned man surviving the electric chair.’

  Debbie smiled, shook her head and said. ‘You, big softy,’ before giving her hero a kiss on the cheek and then added, ‘I think you can cross the local abattoir off your job hunting list.’

  * * *

  The removal men had arrived later than promised due to heavy traffic, but by mid afternoon the place was looking more homely with all their own furniture in place. Kevin had done a deal with the removal men and they had taken away Uncle Stanley's old furniture. Leanne had changed her mind about wanting the big bedroom and Jamie had tidied it up before asking his dad once again if he could clean up his ‘special’ room and have a play with the computer.

  ‘Go on then,’ replied Kevin and handed Jamie the key to his special room and then added, ‘but not for too long mind, because I want you to help me in the garden later. I found an old mower in the shed, so you can make a start on the lawns. I’m thinking of having a natural garden. You know, one with plenty of wild flowers.’

  Debbie rolled her eyes, knowing that Kevin’s idea of wild flowers meant a garden full of weeds.

  Jamie had dashed up stairs when his dad had given him the okay and he was soon sitting in front of the PC screen and filled with anticipation. He had his very own computer which was something he treasured as much as a Liverpool Cup Final ticket. It might be the equivalent of his dad’s jalopy, but it was his.

  The ‘Welcome Screen’ was weird with a mixture of old radios and odd looking television sets showing black and white pictures on their screens. Then he spotted something at the bottom of the screen that made him groan. It was, ‘Enter Password’.

  ‘Uncle Stanley, what’s the point of leaving me a PC that needs a password,’ Jamie groaned and then looked towards the ceiling, hoping for some divine inspiration.

  Jamie wriggled his fingers as he prepared himself for the task. ‘Right, let’s have a go and see if Hacker Jamie can get in.’

  An hour later it was a frustrated Jamie who switched off the computer and made his way downstairs. He had started off by entering Steaderton, followed by each family member’s name and then an assortment of hopeful names as he’d tried to discover the password.

  Kevin laughed after Jamie explained that dear old Uncle Stanley had left him a computer that was about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

  ‘So, you’ve been up there all that time trying to think of the right password. Did I forget to tell you what it was?’

  Jamie was used to his dad’s tricks, but he had to ask.

  ‘Do you really know what it is?’

  ‘No, but I wish I did. Sorry, son.’

  ‘It’s not funny, Dad. Without the password I’m never going to be able to use that computer unless I reformat the disk and lose whatever programs might have been on it. That means I would have to buy some new software, because I can’t find any disks.’

  ‘Just hang on there, son. You might just as well be speaking in Swahili. I haven’t got a clue what you’re talking about.’

  Kevin had a good knowledge of some things, but understanding computers wasn’t one of them. He had been thinking of enrolling for an evening class, so that at least he could converse with his son about the basics.

  ‘Actually, Dad, you might be able to help me if you could tell me something about Uncle Stanley, like what football team he supported, his favourite colour, or anything that he might have chosen for a password.’

  Kevin had to disappoint Jamie by telling him that he knew even less about Uncle Stanley than he did about computers.

  * * *

  Jamie spent the whole evening typing in passwords and was exhausted, so he didn’t put in a plea to stay up when his dad ordered him to go to bed.

  Jamie eventually dropped off to sleep; unaware that he was the owner of the most powerful computer in the world!

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Jamie had been hoping for a few more days to settle into their new surroundings, but the day after their arrival they had travelled into the nearby town of Denby, which was much bigger than Steaderton, to buy their school uniforms. His dad had told him that he and Leanne could start school the following day. There was more bad news to follow when his dad insisted on driving them to school even though it was close enough for them to walk to.

  Betsy was still blowing out large amounts of smoke when Kevin pulled up outside the Steaderton and Markham school. Jamie was still wishing that he had walked the half a mile it was to school, but at least he had managed to stop his mum from coming with them.

  Leanne was dropped at the junior school gate and Kevin was pleased to see her being welcomed by one of the girls and a teacher.

  ‘Remember what I told you, kiddo. Don’t forget your roots and don’t take any stick off these country boys,’ Kevin advised as Jamie climbed out of the car.

  ‘Yes, Dad,’ Jamie replied with a groan.

  The car spluttered and backfired as it moved away causing Jamie to cringe once more as he made his way through the school gate, conscious of the staring eyes from some of the children. He was wishing that he was back in Liverpool with his best mates, Geoff and Paul. Jamie didn’t look in mirrors very often, but he had this morning and so he knew that he only had one head. So, what were these kids looking at! He was dressed just like them, but they were eyeing him as though he had dropped in from another planet. He wanted to tell them that his dad drove a car not a flying saucer. What had seemed so exciting last week suddenly had the makings of a nightmare. Why did girls always giggle when they were together?

  ‘Heh, new boy,’ someone called out and the greeting wasn’t friendly. Jamie ignored the caller and walked on towards the main building, but he hadn’t got very far when he heard the footsteps behind him.

  ‘Heh, Jumbo, I was talking to you,’ said the boy as he prodded Jamie in the back.

  Jamie tensed himself, but had already decided how he would handle things. His would be tormentor was a good six inches taller than he was and hefty with it, in a podgy sort of way.

  Jamie knew that today was going to be such an important one for him. If he showed any sign of weakness then he would likely get picked on and might even get bullied. His voice was calm and firm when he said, ‘My name’s Jamie.’

  ‘Well, I say your name is Jumbo. You can’t be a Jamie with a pair of flappers like that sticking out of your head. If anyone calls you Jamie when I’m around they’ll be in big trouble.’

  Jamie took a deep breath as he remembered his dad’s advice about attack being the best form of defence.

  ‘That’s fine by me as long as you don’t mind me calling you, Porky,’ Jamie countered and was surprised at the cool way he had delivered his response.

  The boy glowered at Jamie, but was too shocked to speak. He wasn’t
used to boys talking back to him, nor having anyone snigger at his expense.

  ‘And you can stop grinning, Spindle,’ Porky shouted at the thin boy who was one of his gang and he wasn’t pleased that a group of girls had heard what the mouthy newcomer had said to him and they were clearly amused. He had his reputation to think about and he couldn’t let this go, especially in front of Isabel Jolly.

  ‘You call me Porky once more and I’ll deck you, Jumbo,’ Porky growled back, his face red and angry looking.

  ‘I’m sorry I won't call you Porky again,’ Jamie apologised.

  The bully looked pleased that he had gained the upper hand, feeling that the newcomer was a wimp after all. The girls looked disappointed, but they would soon discover that Jamie wasn’t frightened of the school bully. Well he was, but they wouldn’t get to know that.

  Jamie looked the bully straight in the eyes when he said, ‘I think I’ll call you Blobby instead.’

  Jason Patmore, alias Porky and now the newly christened Blobby was about to give Jamie a shove when he heard the voice of Mr Cookson, the headmaster.

  ‘Jason, it’s nice to see you making friends with the new boy. Welcome to our school, Jamie. I’m told that you are an accomplished footballer, so Jason will have some competition for this year’s footballer of the year trophy.’

  The headmaster’s remarks had caused Jason’s chubby face to redden even further. He was already thinking that he would have to find a way to keep the new kid out of the team. There would be plenty of opportunity during practice to accidentally break his leg. Jason was the star of the team and he intended to keep it that way, especially as Isobel Jolly watched most of the matches.

  The headmaster’s voice interrupted Jason’s planning of Jamie’s short career in school football.

  ‘Anyway, Jamie, I’m sure that Jason will show you the ropes later.’

  Jamie was thinking that the only rope that Blobby would show him was one that he would use to hang him with or to drag him around the playground.

  Mr Cookson wished Jamie well and as he turned to walk away Jason gave Jamie a nudge and made it clear that he had unfinished business with him when he said, ‘I’ll see you later, new boy.’

  The children dispersed and Jamie heard the girl with the blond pig-tails say, ‘He’s cute.’ and he turned away to hide his blushes. Jason was out of earshot when Isabel had made the remark, otherwise he would have been planning some further retribution for Jamie.

  Jamie had been placed in the top form based on reports from his old school and he wasn’t disappointed when he discovered that Jason and the members of his gang were all in a lower grade.

  By the time the first day at his new school was over most of his new class mates had heard about his confrontation with Jason. It amused Jamie that he had gained a reputation for being a hard lad from Liverpool because he had never had a fight in his life and he certainly wasn’t hard. Jamie knew from experience that reputations at school can stick and he reckoned that Jason must have heard the exaggerated stories about him being a real tough nut because he walked passed Jamie on the way out of school without saying a word. Jamie had prepared his meanest expression just in case Jason turned around. It was a look that frightened his sister, so it might just work on Blobby boy, but it wasn’t needed.

  Jamie walked most of the way home with Ethan, one of the boys from his class who lived in the next street to Jamie’s and it soon became clear that Ethan was struggling to understand Jamie’s rapid fire speech. Jamie could understand Ethan, but had to stop himself from yawning when Ethan was telling him about his stamp collection and his other hobby, fishing. He asked Ethan if he liked footy, but quickly changed it to football when he saw the blank look on his classmate’s face.

  ‘I’m not really a sporting sort of person,’ Ethan replied and then added, ‘but I do like playing dominoes with my Da, even though he does cheat sometimes.’

  Well at least Devon dads had something in common with those from Liverpool and Jamie wondered if dads the world over cheated when playing games with their sons.

  Jamie and Ethan had stopped at the corner of Jamie’s street where their paths separated when Jamie’s dad drove passed them.

  ‘That car’s awesome,’ said Ethan, eager to use the new word that was one of Jamie’s favourites.

  ‘Not a word I would use to describe my da’s bone shaker,’ Jamie remarked, deliberately using the name Ethan used instead of dad.

  ‘It’s like a bat mobile with that smoke trail.’

  Jamie smiled, figuring that Ethan was obviously a batman fan.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Jamie was slinging his school bag in the cupboard under the stairs when he heard Leanne talking at a rapid rate the way she did when she was excited. At least she wasn’t moaning about being homesick as she told her mum and dad how great her new school was. Kevin and Debbie had to admit defeat later and gave up asking Jamie about his first day at school after he had answered the fifth question with the same reply as the others which was a simple, ‘It was all right.’

  It had been painful for Jamie having to wait until after dinner before he was allowed back in the computer room to continue his attempts to come up with the correct password. He’d had a few ideas while he was at school, including memorising the local streets, but it wasn’t long before Uncle Stanley was on Jamie’s hate list after another marathon session failed to gain access.

  Jamie eventually ran out of ideas to try and come up with the correct password and gave up in despair and joined the family in front of the television. His dad was especially sympathetic, but still had no information on Uncle Stanley that might help his son. Jamie was beginning to think that if he didn’t get lucky soon then he really would have to start saving up for some new software and install it from scratch. He was looking at the cost of the software in a computer magazine when his sister asked him if he had tried entering the cat’s name as the password. The family members guessed he hadn’t when Jamie threw his magazine to the floor and hurried away in the direction of his special room. It was Jamie who had actually read the name on the small tag attached to the pet’s collar, but he hadn’t thought to try it.

  Jamie willed the computer to start up faster than normal as first it bleeped and then went through its start-up routine which lasted no more than five seconds, but seemed much longer. His hand hovered above the keyboard ready to try out his sister’s suggestion, but groaned when the screen turned blue and an error message appeared on the screen.

  ‘You stupid machine,’ Jamie shouted out and then reached for the reset button which he pressed to start the whole process again. He had seen a similar error message on the school computers lots of times, but not on this machine. Jamie had two fingers on both hands crossed as he watched the start-up progress on the screen. He was relieved when the password window appeared and he prepared to try, ‘OHMSLAW’ and he closed his eyes after he’d entered the last letter. Even before he viewed the screen he sensed that something different was happening compared to all the previous failed attempts and once he realised that he was ‘in’ and that the computer was ready for use he let out a loud cheer. If Jamie didn’t give Leanne a 'thank you' kiss later then he probably never would.

  He was about to shout down the good news to the family when he saw the message appear on the screen.

  Hello, Jamie.

  If you ever get to read this message then please take care of my faithful cat, Ohmslaw and remember that without him you wouldn’t be reading this message and about to enjoy the pleasures of computing. Don’t be fooled by the appearance of the PC. It’s a Rolls Royce in the body of an old Morris Minor and its performance will probably never be equalled, at least not in our world.

  I promise you that you will soon experience an adventure that you will find hard to believe at times.

  I must ask you to keep what you discover in this room a secret and tell no one, not even your parents. This message will be deleted in ten seconds then you must open a document named, J
amiestest.

  Goodbye

  Great Uncle Stanley.

  ‘Wow, this is spooky,’ Jamie said when the message disappeared from the screen. He was startled by the call from his dad announcing that his mum had just made some tea and he was to move his butt, like now.

  Jamie wasn’t thinking of the cup of tea that was waiting for him when he nearly fell as he ran downstairs and excitedly announced that the computer was working after he had tried his sister’s suggestion about the password being, ‘OHMSLAW’.

  ‘That’s great. I hope you are going to thank her,’ Kevin said.

  ‘Thanks, sis,’

  ‘See, girls aren’t stupid, are they, Mum?’ said Leanne who was looking pleased with herself.

  ‘Of course we‘re not,’ Debbie agreed with a smug smile and then added, ‘the next time that your brother suggests such a thing, just say, Ohmslaw, to him.’

  ‘Very funny,’ Jamie said, but he really was grateful for his sister’s help.

  ‘I wonder why Uncle Stanley chose such a strange name for his cat?’ Debbie asked.

  ‘Well it is better than volts or amps, which is what his name is connected with.’ Kevin replied.

  ‘It sounds like your dad is remembering something from the New Scientist magazine again,’ Debbie said, smiling at the children.

  ‘Is it true dad? Is that where his name comes from?’ Jamie asked.

  ‘Straight up. It’s some law named after a German feller and it’s to do with voltage and current and something else which I think is resistance. I read about it in Uncle Stanley’s old technical dictionary.’

  ‘Hmm, very impressive and we thought our Jamie was the clever one,’ Debbie said.

  ‘So, what’s the computer like, son?’ Kevin asked. Has it got lots of games like, Space Invaders?’

  ‘Space Invaders went out with the ark, Dad. I don’t think there are any games on it, but I haven’t really had a chance to look properly. I think I’ll go back upstairs and have a proper play with it. By the way, Dad, what’s a Morris Minor?’