Ex-Communication: A Novel

by Peter Clines

  Max bent over the road with a dagger he’d pulled from his coat and put the final touches on the circle he’d scratched into the pavement. He straightened up to stretch his back. “Anyway,” he said, picking up as if there’d been no interruption, “breaking Josh out was the easiest part. It’s not like he needed much convincing, either. A bit of alchemy turned the cell wall to water vapor for a minute, he walked out, and the bars and mesh reformed behind him. No sign of anything being tampered with. I’m sure it drove Stealth crazy.”

  St. George risked looking away from the demon’s eyes. “She knew he had outside help.”

  “Because nothing else made sense in her little worldview,” said Max. “Your girlfriend has one big blind spot, George. She’s inflexible. She can’t think outside the box. The box she does think in is gigantic, I admit, but she can’t put her brain outside it even just for a moment.”

  The sorcerer twisted at the hips, then leaned to either side and stretched his arms out. He bent over to scratch a few more Latin words along the edge of the circle. “After that it was just a matter of getting you alone out here, so Josh’s escape killed two birds with one stone. Thanks for letting me paint all those sigils and agreements on you, by the way. It saves us about an hour and a half.”

  St. George tried to ignore him and looked at the demon. It gazed back at him with its saucer-like eyes. He was pretty sure it was smirking, but the forest of teeth made it hard to be sure.

  “Josh,” he said, “you’ve got to fight this. I know you hate all of us because of what happened, you hate the world because of what happened to Meredith, but you can’t let—”

  “You waste your final hour calling to your friend,” said Cairax. The demon reached up and tapped its fingers against the crown of horns. They made a noise like the crack of billiard balls. “His lonely mind was broken long before what was left of it accepted our offer. He submitted to dear Maxwell’s preparations, turned over his mortal form, and retreated to nonexistence with no resistance or second thoughts. Through me he found the end he has searched so long for.”

  The demon twitched a finger and the red cords holding St. George pulled tighter. Not much. Just another half inch. He felt it in his joints.

  He managed to glare back at the creature. “Next you’ll tell me your only weakness is wood,” he said. “Before you know it you’ll give your whole plan away.”

  “Such bravado,” said Cairax. Its tongue darted out and snapped like a whip in front of St. George’s face. “You are a credit to your namesake after all, my little hero, but soon your soul shall be my plaything. We shall see how brave you are then.”

  “Just try me.”

  Its tooth-filled mouth twisted into another grin. Fangs and tusks pointed in every direction. The demon looked over its shoulder at Maxwell as he scratched more symbols inside the new circle.

  “It’s easy to be brave when you’re ignorant,” said Max without looking up. “Believe me, if you had any idea what’s going to happen to you, you’d be wetting your pants right now.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Oh, yeah.”

  Smoke streamed out of St. George’s nostrils. “Is that your excuse for siding with this thing? For betraying all of us? You’re scared of what it could do to you?”

  Max shoved the dagger into his belt and walked up to the bound hero. Cairax moved out of his way with one step of its long legs. The move was graceful and unnatural all at once. “Yeah,” he snapped, “I am scared.”

  “You used to be a hero.”

  “I used to be a paperboy, too. So what?” He shook his head. “Let me tell you something, George. I know what Hell’s like. I’ve seen it. I’ve felt it. And you know what?” He waved his arm over his shoulder, back in the direction of the Big Wall. “I will sacrifice anything not to go through that again. You, Stealth, Barry, Danielle, my parents, every girl I ever loved, every single person in the Mount—Cairax can have all of your immortal souls as long as it means I don’t go to Hell.”

  St. George took in a long, slow breath. “You’re a coward.”

  “No,” Max shook his head, “I’m a realist. There’s only so many ways this can go down, and they all involve a lot of people dying. I just made the choice not to be one of them. Like I told Stealth, I chose to survive.”

  “And that’s the way it is?”

  “Yeah,” said Max. “That’s the way it is.”

  “Then I don’t feel too bad about this.”

  St. George exhaled hard, spraying fire down at the sorcerer. It was a good-sized cone, enough to cover the man from head to toe. The blast exploded over Max, and splashed out across the pavement. The flames lit up the street for a block in either direction. They burned for a few seconds and then sputtered out.

  Cairax Murrain’s hand stretched out in front of the sorcerer. The fingers spread wide in front of Max’s face. A last few licks of fire danced on the knuckles and talons, like flies caught in a spiderweb. The demon closed its hand into a fist and the flames were crushed.

  Max wasn’t even singed.

  The demon snorted and pulled its impossibly long arm back. It strode halfway across the street and snatched up an ex through the barrier. It spun the dead thing in its claws, plucking off arms and legs and then the head.

  “That was foolish,” said Max. “Even if Cairax wasn’t here, I’ve got two different fire wards on me.”

  “Maybe I don’t give up as easily as you.”

  “I didn’t give up,” said Max. “I made a deal.”

  “Come on,” St. George said. “Do you think that thing’s going to hold up its side of the bargain? After everything you’ve told us about it? What’s going to stop it from killing you?”

  “Well,” said the sorcerer, “one is the contract. I’ve offered it a lot of prime souls in exchange for its leniency. A bunch of heroes. And a deal’s a deal.”

  St. George glared at him.

  “Two is that I’m going to be a lot harder to kill in about twenty minutes or so.”

  He wrinkled his brow at the sorcerer. “How so?”

  Cairax Murrain picked up another ex, a dead woman, and tossed it from hand to hand. A chuckle slithered up out of the demon’s throat. It caught the ex and scissored the woman in half with its talons.

  Max waved a hand at his chest. “Stealth was right. This isn’t much of a cheat. Jarvis was in pretty good shape, but in five or ten years I’ll just need another body. Unless I found a better one sooner than that. One that was strong, almost completely invulnerable, and would last a hundred years or so with no problem.”

  He gestured at the circle and symbols he’d been scratching into the pavement, then looked the bound hero in the eye.

  “That’s where you come into the deal, George.”

  ON A GUESS, said Zzzap, maybe over there?

  He pointed to the southwest. Even in the unlit night, the clouds piled up black over that part of the city. They flickered with sparks of light. Distant thunder echoed across the city.

  Zzzap hung in the air above the corner of the Big Wall, just south of the After Death church. Stealth, Freedom, and Madelyn were on the platform below with half a dozen guards and First Sergeant Kennedy. Cerberus stood in the street behind them.

  “I estimate it is centered over La Brea Avenue,” said Stealth. “Somewhere between Third and Wilshire.”

  Looks like your boyfriend lives in the corner penthouse of spook central, if you ask me.

  Captain Freedom cinched the strap of his glove around his wrist. He’d shrugged off the leather duster in favor of his full combat gear. “Are you sure about this, ma’am? The rest of the Unbreakables are on alert and ready to go. We can have them assembled here in five minutes.”

  Stealth’s head shook inside her cloak. “A small group gives us our best chance of success while still leaving the Mount protected. The Unbreakables shall stay behind with Cerberus.”

  The armored titan made a noise that might have been a grumble, but nodded.

  Freedo
m nodded down at Madelyn. “And she’s coming because …?”

  “The exes do not sense Madelyn because of her unique nature,” said Stealth. “This invisibility extends to items she is wearing or carrying. From what Maxwell has—”

  “Corpse Girl,” said Madelyn. She pulled her mouth into a tight line. “I’m the Corpse Girl now.”

  “From what Maxwell has said,” continued Stealth, “Cairax Murrain’s senses are similarly tuned to living things. Corpse Girl’s trip to North Hollywood supports the premise that her invisibility also includes the demon, which means there is a good chance it does not know we have the sword. She will carry the sword and perhaps give us an element of surprise. At the least, she will still be able to help control the exes in the area.”

  Madelyn gave a sharp nod. She pulled her camo cap from her coat pocket and tugged it down over her hair.

  Ummmm, I hate to once again be the voice of reason in these discussions, said Zzzap, but if Max has been lying about everything else, why do we think he was telling the truth about needing the sword to kill the demon?

  “Maxwell is clever enough not to overcomplicate his story with unnecessary lies,” said the cloaked woman. “He believed we did not have the necessary tools to destroy Cairax Murrain, so there was no danger in telling us the truth.”

  Cerberus’s armored head swiveled to look at her. “That’s what your whole strategy is based off? That’s kind of thin.”

  “If you prefer,” said Stealth, “I can tell you that we have no other options and that the ‘thin’ path is better than taking no action at all.”

  The titan sighed and shook its head.

  “I can get behind the overcomplicated idea,” said Madelyn.

  I love this plan.

  “From what he told us, though, even with the sword, it seemed like a long shot,” Freedom said. He adjusted his helmet and pulled the strap across his chin. “The better play might be waiting here behind the protective seals.”

  “Assuming the seals even work,” said Cerberus. “If all of this was a plan to get Josh and the demon together, the seals might just be clever graffiti.”

  “We have more than just the sword,” Stealth said. “Based on the information Maxwell gave us, I believe we have all the requirements needed to kill the demon.”

  Stealth and Freedom went from rooftop to rooftop. She moved in graceful bounds, her path traced through the air behind her by her flowing cloak. He attacked the air, every leap and landing a show of brute force and mass that shattered roof tiles.

  Madelyn had another bicycle to help her keep up. One of the guards at the Corner platform had “volunteered” it. It was in much better shape than the one she’d ridden out to the Valley. She swerved around the shambling exes and tried to keep an eye on the two figures moving across the rooftops. She kept one hand on the sword. It was still tucked in her belt.

  Zzzap flitted back and forth, keeping them all well lit. The ink-black clouds blotted out the sky and reminded him of a hero named Midknight who’d died during the uprising. Then he’d died again when Zzzap reduced the hero’s animated corpse to ash. It wasn’t a pleasant set of memories.

  They had to go through the broad expanse of the Wilshire Country Club. It would take too long to go around. It meant a quarter mile of open ground with nowhere to hide. “No firearms,” Stealth told Freedom, “and no energy blasts. We must maintain silence.”

  Freedom and Zzzap both nodded. Madelyn let her bike drop to the sidewalk. The cloaked woman flipped up and over the vine-threaded fence, and the captain leaped after her.

  Zzzap hovered over the chain-link while Madelyn worked her way up the fence. As she got near the top, he passed his hands through the barbed wire and the coils melted away with a few sparks and sizzles. “You couldn’t’ve just made a hole through the fence,” said Corpse Girl with a smile.

  Hey, he told her, the more fences there are in L.A. these days the better.

  They plowed ahead. Zzzap’s brilliant form attracted every ex on the golf course. Madelyn ran ahead, shoving exes or tripping them. They were halfway across the green plain before the undead became too numerous for her.

  Stealth made a quick movement with her hands and her batons swung into the ready position. “Keep moving,” she said. “Time is of the essence.”

  Captain Freedom lashed out with his fists. Even his glancing blows sent exes staggering back. Stealth’s batons swung back and forth, up and down. Skulls and necks shattered around them.

  Zzzap tried to clear a path for them and swung his hand at an obese ex. He missed severing its head. The fat of its jowls sizzled and the zombie turned into a pillar of fire. The burning flesh spit and popped, and the flames swelled as the dead man’s T-shirt caught fire.

  Madelyn leaped away from the fiery ex. Freedom stepped forward and drove his boot into its chest. The overweight dead man staggered back and tumbled over. It kept burning as it struggled to get back to its feet.

  Another rumble of thunder blasted across the greens. To the southwest, they could see lightning twist in the dark clouds, as if it didn’t dare reach down to the ground. A cold wind dropped down out of the sky.

  This doesn’t look good, said Zzzap. I should run ahead and buy us some—

  “No,” snapped Stealth as she brought her baton across an ex’s jaw. “We must stay together. Timing is essential if our plan is to succeed.”

  Freedom dropped a dead man with a wide backhand, then grabbed a dead woman by the head and twisted her neck before she could react. “Just keep moving,” he said. An ex grabbed his arm and bit down, but the Kevlar weave of his jacket stopped it from breaking the skin. He slammed his fist into its forehead and it fell to the ground. “If we stop they’ll overwhelm us.”

  Madelyn put her hands on an ex’s chest and tried not to think about the fact she was touching the dead woman’s boobs. She pushed hard, knocking the ex back into another one behind it, and then catching a third in the shoulder. The zombies dominoed, five of them crashing to the ground.

  Zzzap made another pass and heads vanished off a dozen exes. One of the skulls popped like an overboiled egg. Their bodies dropped.

  The far fence of the country club came into view. A hundred yards to go. The heroes smashed, tripped, kicked, and punched their way across the last stretch.

  They reached the fence and Stealth vaulted up and over it. Three quick swings with her batons put down the trio of exes gathered on the other side. A few more leaps took her to the roof of a nearby house.

  Freedom lifted Madelyn up by the arms, put one hand on her ass, and hurled her over the fence. She flew through the air and landed on top of the house near Stealth. The cloaked woman grabbed her by the wrist. A moment later Freedom hit the roof next to them. The tiles shattered and they heard a beam crack beneath him.

  The shadows shifted and Zzzap hovered above them. Okay, he said, now for the hard part.

  ANOTHER RUMBLE OF thunder echoed across the city as Max finished his circle and stepped back. “This should do it,” he said. He glanced over his shoulder. “Sorry, George. Time for you to go.”

  Cairax Murrain turned to them. A pile of dismembered exes had grown near the demon. The heads still shifted and twitched. Their lack of leverage muffled the click-click-click of their jaws. “At last,” it said. “Claim your prize, dearest Maxwell, and then both sides of our contract have been fulfilled.”

  Smoke poured from St. George’s mouth and nostril. The tattoos were tingling under his shirt. It felt like they were moving. “You don’t want to do this, Max,” he said. “I know you’re better than this.”

  “Sorry,” the sorcerer said. “I guess you don’t know me.”

  St. George scowled and sucked in a little more air.

  Max shook his head. “Don’t waste your time. It still won’t do anything.”

  “It’ll make me feel better.”

  “If I cared how you felt, I wouldn’t be trading your soul to a demon. But, if it helps, your body will change just like th
is one did. I won’t be tricking anyone into thinking I’m you or any of that sort of—”

  A shot rang out and the air blurred by Max’s head. Something appeared near his temple, a small lump of gleaming metal. Two more reports echoed across the street. St. George could see the trails as the rounds slowed down and came to a halt.

  Max turned and plucked one of the bullets out of the air. “Well,” he said, tossing it aside, “I guess the cavalry’s shown up after all.”

  Stealth leaped off the pet store, her cloak billowing out behind her. A Glock thundered in each hand and half a dozen rounds traced their way to Max. She hit the ground running, and another six rounds led the way.

  The sorcerer held up three fingers and the bullets dropped to the pavement.

  Cairax Murrain stretched up to its full height and stepped forward. “Ahhh, how truly wonderful,” the demon said, “the star-crossed lovers, reunited for the end. George Bailey, trying to live up to the impossible example of his parents, and Karen Quilt, desperately running away from the legacy of hers.”

  Stealth froze, just for a moment, and Cairax beamed its shark’s smile at her. It pulled back a massive talon to swat the cloaked woman and a brilliant light from above washed the darkness away. The demon looked up and blinked its leathery eyelids.

  Zzzap had one hand out. The air rippled around his brilliant palm for a moment and then a burst of energy struck Cairax in the face. It splashed off the monster like the spray from a garden hose. The demon roared and swung at the gleaming wraith. Zzzap flitted away and fired another energy blast.

  Stealth raced past them and dove at Max. The sorcerer cut his hand through the air and a tornado blast of wind sent her hurling away. She hit the pavement near the line of exes, rolled, and threw herself back at him.

  Max brought his hand up again, but before he could gesture the Glock spun in her fingers and smashed down on his knuckles. He yelped, stepped back, and Stealth drove both of her boots into his chest. She flipped over in a whirl of cloak and Max flew back to crash against a Honda.