Peace of Infinity

by Maegan Abel

  I’d known something was wrong with Gavin all day, but I hadn’t given myself time to worry about him. I was too busy worrying about Cara. And now, I needed to go see her for myself.

  I stepped out of the conference room and found Gavin leaning against the wall just a few feet away. His expression was hard as he spoke into his phone. “No. I know.” He sighed. “Fuck.” Another pause while the other person spoke. I walked up to him, but didn’t get too close, letting him know I was ready to talk, but not wanting to interfere with his conversation. “Yeah. She’s going to be okay, but she’s pretty banged up. We’re at Mercy. Yeah. Just call when you get here.”

  He lowered the phone, his eyes still on me, but he didn’t speak. His expression wasn’t blank, which was a relief, but it was definitely agitated. After a minute of silence, he sighed again and turned toward the elevators. I grabbed his arm to stop him. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say, but I needed to say something. When he didn’t turn toward me, I walked in front of him so I could see his face. I stared at him, taking a deep breath and enjoying the feeling of being near him again. That realization gave me the push I needed.

  “I give a shit about this, okay?” I finally said, gauging his reaction. A muscle jumped in his cheek as his jaw tightened.

  “You need me. Or you think you need me right now. That’s not good enough,” he responded, his voice tight.

  “I do need you, but I also want you here. Will you please come with me to see Cara?” I asked, trying to keep the discomfort from my face. This was harder for me than he realized.

  He watched me for another few seconds before wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me to him. He leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead again, letting them linger a little longer than usual. “Let’s go see how she’s doing.”

  During our walk to the elevators, he kept his hand on the small of my back like before, but it wasn’t the same. His hand was supportive, but it wasn’t as comforting. I’d put that distance there, both in his eyes and posture. It was going to take more than a few words to prove I meant what I’d said. The question was, did I mean it? I thought I did to an extent. I meant that I wanted him there. I couldn’t imagine trying to face today without Gavin. But was I ready to fully admit to wanting this?

  I’d spent the last month fluctuating wildly between what I wanted and what I needed to do. I needed to stay the hell away from Gavin and get out of Hawk Bay as soon as I could. That was the only way I could be safe. I wanted…well, I wanted the promise of what I could see in Gavin’s eyes when he looked at me.

  “Did you know Dom and your sister had a fight?” he asked as we stepped onto the elevator.

  “When?” I asked, scrunching my face as I tried to remember if Cara had said anything to me about Dom recently.

  “Last night, apparently.” He pressed the button for the tenth floor and we rode up in silence for a moment.

  “I didn’t even know she saw him last night,” I said, aware it came out as more of a grumble. “I told him to stay away from her.”

  Gavin gave a short, humorless laugh. “You think that’ll stop him? I hate to break it to you, but he doesn’t have to listen to what you say about distance and unless she tells him to stay away, he’s going to keep trying. He’s been waiting a long time for her,” he said, and I stared at him, my eyes wide. It was still odd to think about them knowing each other for so long, the same way it was when Dom talked about having known me.

  It also gave me a weird sort of flutter in my chest for Cara and Dom. A part of me wondered what it would be like to remember each life and just keep waiting for your Infinity to finally arrive. How many lives had Dom been through this without her?

  We stepped off the elevator and made our way to the ICU nurses’ station. They gave me her room number and we headed in that direction. They probably would’ve stopped us, told us we could only go back one at a time, but thankfully, Gavin was still in his uniform. I paused at the door and tapped on the wood.

  “Cara Beara?” I asked, pushing it open. I took a step in, feeling Gavin’s heat disappear from behind me. I glanced back and reached for his hand, pulling him with me from where he’d planted himself by the door. I really did need him right now. I walked in farther and the second she came into view, I dropped Gavin’s hand as both of mine moved to cover my mouth. Seeing her in the bed, the mess of bruises and tubes…it was too much. I inhaled, the sound more like a gasp, though I still didn’t feel like I got any oxygen into my lungs. Everything about seeing her like this hurt. She didn’t deserve this and I wanted to take it away from her. “Cara,” I whimpered, nearly choking on the sob begging to break free.

  Her eyes fluttered open and focused on me after a second. I had to swallow hard to keep myself together. She blinked, her brow furrowing for a moment and I moved to the side of the bed. She closed her eyes again, having trouble staying awake. When I reached out and carefully cupped my hands around one of hers, her eyes opened again and found mine.

  “Evie?” Her voice was hoarse. She licked her lips, her whole face scrunching in pain or confusion, possibly some mixture of both. It was the pressure of Gavin’s palm against my back that reminded me I had to be the strong one.

  “I’m here,” I whispered, almost afraid of the sound of my own voice in that moment. The way my body shook, it wasn’t a surprise my voice did. “I’m right here.”

  “Where am I?” she asked, her nose scrunching as she took a sharp breath. Something hurt, but I wasn’t sure what or how to help her.

  “You’re at Mercy. You were in a car accident,” I answered, feeling her fingers tighten on mine.

  She glanced around, her brow furrowed as she took in the room. Then her body tensed and her eyes flashed to mine. “Car. Accident?” she rasped. The question was stilted and her free hand came up toward her throat.

  “Are you hurting?” I asked, suddenly worried as she began to tremble. I started to pull away to go find a nurse.

  “No,” she said in a whimper, her nails digging into my skin as she held tight to my hand. The sound was torture, making stupid, inexcusable tears spring to my eyes. “Don’t go.”

  “Okay. I’m not going anywhere.” Be strong. I brushed the hair off her forehead as I glanced up at Gavin. His eyes met mine and the hardness in them darkened to anger when he saw my face. His jaw was tightened and I tried to communicate that I was okay. He squeezed my hip and looked away. His strength. Fuck me, but I needed it. When she settled a little more, I leaned closer. “Cara, do you remember what happened?”

  She shook her head, but the movement was too fast. She was lying and I hated that she felt like she needed to. I looked back at Gavin when he spoke.

  “We know you weren’t alone in the car, but no one else was there when we arrived.” Moving with caution, he squatted beside the bed to put himself at her level. “Whoever was with you, we need to talk to them.”

  “No,” she said again, shaking her head, the same tremor in her voice. “I was…alone.”

  “We know that’s not true,” I said, and she lowered her head. “Your injuries from the accident prove you weren’t driving. And you have injuries that made the doctors think you were attacked. You need to tell us what happened.”

  “I was alone. I must’ve…I don’t know. I don’t remember. Maybe I fell asleep or something,” she said, pulling her hand free from mine and wrapping her arms around her middle.

  “Hey,” Gavin started, his tone gentle, but she shook her head.

  “No. I don’t… I’m tired,” she said, biting down on her lip for a second as she stared at Gavin, trying to hold his gaze. “Can you find a nurse? My leg really hurts.”

  He stood, giving her a soft smile. “Yeah, I’ll find a nurse.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and his eyes hit mine before he turned to leave the room. The look in them gave me a chill. It wasn’t just angry, he was livid. And he was worried she wasn’t going to talk.

  As soon as the door closed behind him, I turned m
y attention back to Cara. “You need to tell Gavin who to look for. The police are going to figure it out anyway.”

  She remained quiet, staring at her lap. I huffed out a frustrated breath, but it was pointless. She was going to continue to defend him and I had no idea what I could do to get her to talk.

  When the doctor came in, he and the nurse cleared me out while they checked Cara. I found Gavin in the hall and walked over to him, wrapping both arms around his waist without hesitation. What he’d done in there, trying to push Cara to talk without being pushy, it was further proof of just how much he cared about her. I wasn’t sure whether he cared about her for me or Dom, or if he just cared about her in general, but it was clear he was concerned and just as determined as I was to get to the bottom of what happened. That meant more to me than anything else he’d said or done.

  “We’ll figure it out,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around my shoulders as I held on to him tight. I let his assurance comfort me along with his presence. It was strange that something as simple as the scent of him on his shirt and the feel of him wrapped around me could make me feel protected. “People in Cara’s situation usually talk once they realize they’re safe. We just have to prove to her that we won’t let anything else happen.”

  “What if she doesn’t leave him? Gavin, did you see her neck?” I asked into his shirt, pulling myself back into the present. Never in my life had I felt fear like that, but the thought of losing my sister was staggering.

  “Yeah, babe. I saw.” His lips touched my hair and his hand stroked up and down my back. He pulled out his phone and I noticed the flashing screen. “Yeah?” he asked into it. He gave directions to where we were and then ended the call. “Dom is on his way up. You think you can try not to rip him a new one until after he checks on her? He needs to see for himself that she’s okay.”

  “He shouldn’t be here at all. He needs to stay away,” I snapped, scowling and trying to tug away from his arms. Cara didn’t need this shit. It was bad enough one man put her in the hospital today, she didn’t need another one here upsetting her. “This motherfucking curse.”

  “Stop,” Gavin said, his voice low and cold. I froze and looked up at him. It wasn’t even anger I was seeing in his face, it was beyond that. His entire body vibrated with it. “Stop blaming this on him. On me. On Infinity. The fault lies with the man who beat the hell out of your sister, and only him. Do you hear me?”

  “You don’t understand—”

  “I do understand, Evangelie. I understand you want someone to blame for the shit that always seems to get piled on you, but I’m not going to take it.” He leaned closer, not dropping his hands and his intensity caused me to lean back. “I’m not going to let you keep pushing me away because you’re afraid. You need to make a choice to be in this or let it go.”

  I stared at him, my mouth dropping open in shock. “Are you really giving me an ultimatum right now?” Incredulity didn’t come close to what I was feeling. Here I was, standing in the hallway of a hospital after just seeing my sister battered and bruised, and he was going to force my hand. I started to yank free from him again.

  He sighed and closed his eyes. Lifting his face toward the ceiling, trying to calm himself, he still didn’t let me go. “No. I—”

  “Gavin,” Dom’s voice echoed down the hallway and both our heads turned toward the sound. “Where is she?”

  “Calm down,” Gavin said, releasing his hold long enough to turn me around in front of him, wrap both arms over my shoulders, and pull my back to his front as he held me tight. Watching the doctor leave Cara’s room, I jolted forward, wanting to go to her, but Gavin’s hold didn’t loosen. “She’s going to be okay. It looks nasty, but the doctor said she’ll be all right.”

  “What happened?” Dom asked, and I noticed how pale he looked. His entire body was tight and his eyes showed every bit of the panic he was feeling.

  Gavin took a breath and I nearly shivered as it ran over my skin. The pause was longer than normal as he considered his words carefully. “We don’t have specifics. She’s not talking. There are injuries consistent with defensive wounds and we know she wasn’t driving, but she’s not telling us anything.”

  “Goddammit,” Dom muttered, his face hardening into anger almost instantly. I didn’t think I’d ever seen him actually pissed off and he was more than a little intimidating. His already too tighten muscles were ready to snap and his jaw worked under the stubble on his face. He was at least three inches taller than Gavin, but he was normally so quiet, I never noticed until now.

  “Breathe. She needs you to focus on her right now,” Gavin’s voice was calm, but I felt anything but. A completely insane yet almost overwhelming urge to reach out and touch Dom, to comfort him, bubbled up inside me and I bit down on my lip as I clenched my hands to keep them at my sides.

  “Can I see her?” Dom asked, and when Gavin didn’t answer, his eyes came to me.

  I stared at him, unsure of what I was supposed to say. They’d had a fight and it wasn’t my call to keep him from her, even if I wanted to. And at the moment, seeing his worry for her, I didn’t want to. “I need to ask her.”

  Dom nodded and Gavin let me go so I could slide back into Cara’s room. I closed the door quietly and walked to her bed. Her eyes tracked my movement, but her head was down again. I didn’t know who this girl was, but she wasn’t my sister, and it broke my heart to see her like this. I wanted the Cara of the last few weeks back. “Hey. Dom is here and he wants to come in. I told him I’d ask you.”

  Her cautious expression dropped and her eyes skipped to mine. “Dom came?”

  “Yeah, he…” I trailed off as tears slipped down her cheeks. My heart actually felt like it was breaking and right then, I couldn’t have told you whether it was for him or her. “Cara, I can tell him—”

  “No. I…I want to see him, I just…” She wiped her face with the heels of her hands, her fingers trembling. “I didn’t think he’d care.”

  “Why wouldn’t he care? Because you guys had a fight?” I asked, lifting an eyebrow as she froze. Her eyes slid over to mine, wide and still wet.

  “You know about that?” she whispered.

  I nodded, pursing my lips as I watched her reaction. “I know you had a fight. I had no idea you and Dom were still talking to each other.”

  “I was being stupid, thinking it didn’t matter. I kept telling myself that Infinity…that he would stay regardless…” Her gaze dropped to her lap. “He wants me to leave Shawn, but I just don’t think I can be who he needs me to be.”

  “That he would stay regardless?” I asked, feeling a pain in my chest. “That’s kind of harsh. Were you just planning to string him along like a puppy?” I snapped my mouth shut as her tears started again. “Fuck. I didn’t mean that.” Lie. I meant it, I just hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

  “I’m such a bitch. I don’t even deserve for him to be here,” she said, her hands covering her face.

  “Stop,” I groaned, torn over what to say. Dom was the lesser of two evils, that was for sure, but what would happen when he died? Cara wasn’t strong enough for that. “Well, he’s here and he wants to see you. That means you have a chance to make this right if you want it. Do you want me to let him in?”

  She nodded and gave me a small smile, but the worry lines around her eyes told the real story. I didn’t like that. I turned and headed to the door, finding Dom and Gavin both waiting just outside. I looked at Dom and my eyes narrowed. “You can go in, but do not upset her,” I warned, knowing I’d already done that enough. He looked at me, too relieved to acknowledge the threat in my words. “I mean it.” He nodded and started to the door.

  “Fuck,” I whispered, realizing I had to acknowledge my own Infinity if I was giving in to theirs.

  The door closed behind Dom and my eyes went back to Evie. She was staring at me, her forehead crinkled adorably as she worked her bottom lip with her teeth. Everything in me wanted to grab her and kiss away those lines. I was so
worried her thoughts were only going to lead her further away from me, but I was trying to find the line today. She was still upset and I wanted to be here for her, but I also had to admit how much I liked that she needed me. Using that to my advantage by walking away too soon and making her admit it could backfire.

  Finally, her eyes came to mine. Her chin lifted and she straightened her shoulders, trying hard to look confident, but, as usual, I knew her well enough to see through the facade. She was scared. She hated it, but she was.

  She walked closer, stopping several feet in front of me, and took a deep breath. “Fine. I’ll try, okay?”

  I narrowed my eyes, attempting to make sense of the words based on the current conversation. “Fine, you’ll try?” I asked, not trying to mock her, but my lingering irritation shone through. I sighed, making an attempt to soften my features.

  She huffed out a small, frustrated sound. “What do you want from me? I’m not used to this, okay? I’m trying.” She bit her lip again, and for the first time, I saw real vulnerability in her eyes. My body jolted with the shock that ran through me as her meaning registered, but I controlled it as fast as I could. I couldn’t afford to assume. I needed to hear her say it.

  “You’re in this?” I asked, forcing the sound out as I studied her face. All she had to do was say yes. If she tried, really tried, she would finally feel it.

  She swallowed hard, her eyes flipping back and forth between mine and tightening before she nodded. “Don’t make it a huge deal.” She shifted on her feet and I could see again how hard this was for her.

  “Come here,” I said, needing to kiss her.

  “Don’t start bossing me around. You’ll make me change my mind,” she said, but the corner of her mouth curved up.

  “Come. Here,” I repeated, fighting the urge to smile at the sight of her amusement.

  “Dammit, Gavin, I don’t take orders—”

  I moved and she let out a little squeak as my body collided with hers. I backed her into the opposite wall and the second I had her there, my lips landed on hers. As soon as her mouth opened under mine, the yelling started. Our heads snapped toward Cara’s room and before either of us could move, the door flew open and Dom came out, eyes hard as he made his way toward the elevator.