by Jordan Deen
“Hello?” I screamed as loud as I could, petrified. “Someone? Help!” The sun completely dipped behind the tall evergreens, making it even harder for me to avoid obstacles or find the overgrown pathway.
When the moon was high in the sky, providing me just enough light to see between the trees, I found what I thought was a path and followed it. The stream echoed in the distance behind me, giving me confidence that I’d found the right path. I started running, the wind glided through my hair, the moon reflected off my pale skin. I rushed, as adrenaline coursed through my veins, pumping my muscles harder, and urging me towards salvation, civilization—something.
Then I found myself flanked. To my left, three large black wolves, to my right three others, and the pounding of dozens of paws behind me. I wasn’t alone in the dark anymore. Grant was hot on my heels, his nose gently urged me around the slight bends of the path until the lights of the camp and flashlights of other searchers came into view.
“Must get tiring playing the damsel in distress,” Lucia griped as she transformed and stalked with Christian back to their cabin.
“Are you alright?” Nicole rushed towards me and threw her arms around my neck. “I can’t believe it. We’ve been looking for you for hours.”
“I just…I got lost in the woods. Lily and I fought and…” My legs throbbed, unable to deal with the marathon I just ran amongst the wolves.
“Nicole, why don’t you go enjoy having Dillon home.” Emile led Nicole towards the cabin by her elbow.
An hour later, Serena had me laid out on the council table, and taped up the gash in my leg. My borrowed jeans were covered in blood from the knee down. Lily retrieved a new pair from Emile.
“What you did tonight was reckless and irresponsible. You could have been seriously hurt.” Serena cut off the blood flow to my foot twisting the gauze into a knot.
“I agree.” Brandon came into the room and my heart stopped. He came back for me. My plan worked, although, it seemed like such a better plan before. At this point, it seemed like a really stupid scheme.
“Leave us,” he commanded.
“Brandon,” Serena started.
“Now,” Brandon didn’t give her the chance to continue. “I want to speak to Lacey alone.”
“Brandon…” Michael came through the door. Disgust and irritation settled in his eyes. If he could have picked another mate for his son, he would have. Bailey would have been the perfect choice… the perfect werewolf daughter-in-law.
“No. This is enough. I want to be alone with her. I want you and everyone else to leave us the hell alone. Get out.” The final words cleared the room. And I had to admit, it was impressive. Even I straightened my back and paid more attention to him.
The amazement and euphoria of being alone with him only lasted a nano-second. “Lacey, what were you thinking?” He rested his bloodied fists on the table. “Seriously, you could have gotten lost. You don’t know your way. It’s not like I’m the only monster lurking in the woods.”
“You’re not a monster.”
“Sometimes, I think that’s how you feel. Were you trying to run away?” He dropped his head and wouldn’t look at me.
“Um, hello? Did you not catch up to me on my way back?”
“You could have been running anywhere, for all I know. You were gone for hours. Lily said you fought with her, that you hid something from her. What was it? What were you hiding?”
The journal wasn’t my secret to share. “The iPod. There are rumors around camp that Dillon came back, and Nicole is upset he didn’t stop to see her. So, I didn’t want her to be mad at me for having the iPod.”
“The iPod? You hid… the iPod?” He laughed. “That’s not why Dillon returned. And I don’t know why he didn’t stop to see Nicole.” The tension in the room reduced when he let out a deep breath, and pulled himself onto the table next to me. His warm forearm brushed mine, like he was testing the waters for what he really wanted. When I didn’t object, he ran his fingertips down the length of my arm. “When they told me you were gone, I thought I’d lost you forever.”
“I swear. I wasn’t trying to leave. I wasn’t running. It’s just been a really hard few weeks. And Bailey…” If I could have taken back saying her name at that moment, I would have.
“What about Bailey?” Brandon locked eyes with me; the tension filled the room again. He didn’t know what Nicole and Lily had told me. Maybe he didn’t know of Bailey’s intentions either.
But then he continued, destroying all hope that he was oblivious. “They told you about her crush on me.” Silence. I didn’t move, he didn’t move. No one interrupted like I assumed, or hoped, they would. Nothing. Just awkward, voided silence, lingered between us—the type you can drown in.
“I assure you, you have nothing to worry about with her.” Brandon finally spoke, stopping the flood from spilling into my lungs. “She is a friend, always has been, and always will be. She’s never been anything more. It’s always been about you.”
“What if you could be mated with her? Wouldn’t you want to be? I mean, she seems like a better choice for you… for the pack.” Bailey could have given a supermodel a run for her money. At over five-seven, with long brown hair, and bright green eyes, she could have been on the runway, but she couldn’t be happier hold up in the woods with no connection to the outside world. She was raised here; the pack was her family. She knew the importance of solidarity, and that was a huge advantage.
“That is ludicrous. Why would you even think that?” He seemed completely immune to her charms. He stopped touching me. If he could have mated with Bailey, I’m sure Emile and Serena would have already figured out a way.
“Because it would be easier, on both of us, if she could be with you and I…” Oh man. If I could be with Alex.
“What? Easier? You think that I want easier? You think that I don’t want you? Shit, Lacey!” The walls seemed to crumble under the weight of his words. “Why can’t you understand that I love you so much, that not being able to touch you hurts? I can’t stand the fact that I can’t get into your thoughts. Haventon is gone to you, but it’s also gone to me. I miss it so much. It feels like my heart’s been ripped from my chest.” He slid off the table and paced the floor.
“I’d give anything to have you look at me the way you looked at Alex that last night at your parent’s house. You looked to him like your knight in shining armor. That’s supposed to be me. I’m the one that’s supposed to hold that position with you. I don’t understand how you can have feelings for him, when you were meant for me. See… you think because Bailey is beautiful and anxious to make things better for the pack that should lead to a connection between us, but it won’t. It never will. My body, my mind, my heart, won’t let me see anyone other than you. It’s you that doesn’t want me. Not the other way around. Don’t forget that.”
Brandon stormed out of the room, slamming the door so hard that my iPod on the table next to me jumped. He hated me. Then again, I tried to pawn him, his problems, the pack, our lives, and his affections onto someone else. Maybe he was right, maybe there was something wrong with me.
c h a p t e r
SIX
Lily wouldn’t look at me when she came into our room. Brandon never came to talk to me after our argument, and neither did anyone else. They left me to wallow in my horrible thoughts—thoughts that ranged from running away, to Nicole and Dillon together, to the possibility of Brandon ending up with Bailey. Which, ironically, gave me a hint of jealously, in the deepest darkest tunnels of my heart, but I shoved it away.
Could there be a way for me to be with Alex and my parents ever again? And sure, I felt guilty thinking this way, but really, Brandon and his family left me no other choice. How could they expect me to love someone I never got the chance to know, and never really wanted to know me? Brandon was perfectly fine being lost in those dreams and the made up reality he created of our love. Love… real love… isn’t like that. Even at eighteen, I knew love took a lot of har
d work. It couldn’t always be sunshine and rainbows. Alex brought that realness to me.
I created a new on-the-go playlist on my iPod that mixed my favorite songs with Alex’s and drifted off to sleep listening to his favorite band. Thoughts of dancing with him under the twinkling lights at homecoming replayed like my own personal DVR. My last true high school experience before all this happened, before my life spiraled out of control. That last day with him, Sophie said it started to work. If it were possible that I started bonding with Alex, then why couldn’t Bailey bond with Brandon?
Alex brushed his hand through my hair, and then, rested it on my collarbone. We lay peacefully cradled against each other in a large plush bed. The curtains rustled in the breeze drafting in from outside. The barren world held mysteries only for us.
“Hey, beautiful. I’ve missed you so much.” He pulled my hand up to his lips. The warmth seared my skin, and rushed blood through my weakening limbs. He smelled like love, our love. Our perfect, undying, unrelenting, won’t let me move on love.
“Are they treating you okay?”
“Yes.” I didn’t want to think about them. I wanted to think about us. The us that would never be again. “Why can’t I be with you?” The whining voice invading the perfectness was nothing like my own. Ugh. It sounded like Lily’s.
“You will be soon. I’ve learned so much since we were last together. I have so much to tell you. But, for now, just shhh…,” He pressed his strong finger to my lips, stopping my thoughts of anything else other than how it felt to have his heart beating against mine again. Finally. “I just want to be with you now.”
I stayed folded in his arms, not willing to even blink, for hours. No explanation was necessary, no justification. Just knowing he was alive was enough. If these were our last minutes together, then it would have to fulfill me all the days of the rest of my life.
“The sun is about to come up.” Reluctantly, he uncurled from my body. “I have to go. They can’t catch me here with you.”
“Wait. You’re coming back right? I mean, I’ll see you again?” My fingers held tight to his arm, not willing to say that this was truly all I’d get of him. I should have known that we wouldn’t get enough time for me to soak every inch of him in.
“Of course. If I can, I’ll come tomorrow night. There is so much to tell you. I will come for you. My new family is working on finding you, but we are going to need your help.”
“New family?”
“Yes, that is how I’m with you now. I have to use a dream walker to come to you. The Arlets have been so helpful. They took me in after what happened with my mom.” He cupped my cheek and looked out the window into the distance, like he was being beckoned by something my ears were too juvenile to hear. “Don’t worry. I will fix everything and we can start our lives together.”
“But that still doesn’t change the problem we had before. If I leave Brandon, he will die.”
“No, that’s the thing. I’ve met so many new people and learned so much about our histories and our families. There is a book. It holds the key to mating Brandon with someone else, so you can be mated with me. It’s been done before.” My heart jumped. If Brandon could be mated with Bailey, that would be perfect. Then I’d be left to make my own decision, instead of feeling the immense pressure of an entire clan forcing me to bend to their will.
“I need you to try to figure out where they’ve taken you. Once we have the book, I’ll come for you. But it’s going to take time. I need you to be patient, and be ready to go when I get there. Don’t tell anyone you’ve seen me or talked to me. Okay?”
“Yes, I’ll be ready. Do you have any idea where the book is?”
“Not yet. But, my cousins—Brent and Kayla—are working on it. They have been invaluable since the night at your house. I love you.” We kissed one last time, then the room melted away into the black oblivion of night, leaving me shuddering in my empty bed.
Unfortunately, I fell asleep with my iPod on. Not only would I have to face the day full of accusations and Lily’s judgments, I’d have to do it all without my tunes keeping me company. Plus, I’d have to hide my rendezvous with Alex in my dream, the last thing I needed was more scrutiny over something I couldn’t necessarily control. Well, that wasn’t entirely true—I longed for Alex’s touch, and his comfort. His stability and support were the only things that kept me sane while my family fell apart around me… and I really needed that. I needed him to look at me, say it would all be okay, and he loved me just the way I was… werewolf or not.
Brandon, Emile, Michael, and Serena all sat at the council table when I strolled out of my room. Brandon got up immediately and left before I could get halfway across the long hall. It was disheartening, but not really surprising. What had I done to deserve two days of this? Oh, wait…
“Are you hungry?” Serena rose from the table and closed the book in front of her. “Did you get any sleep last night?”
“Not really,” I responded just as Lily walked through the door. If she poked around in my dreams last night, then everyone already knew I hadn’t slept at all. Not to mention, they knew my deepest, darkest desire, and how brightly the flame of love burned in my heart for Alex.
“Good morning! Nicole and Dillon brought back goodies.” She held a basket full of dried fruits, jams, and berries from town. Mmmm more healthy stuff to go along with the clean air, woodland creatures, and lack of electronics. Perfect. Just add a little granola, and we’d have a raging party.
“Come with me.” Emile pulled Lily towards the kitchen; both deserted me to deal with Serena and Michael on my own.
“Lacey, why don’t you come have a seat, and talk to us for a moment.” So much for thinking I would need to hide my interlude with Alex; I should have known Lily would snitch me out the first chance she got.
“Last night, you could have really been hurt. What’s worse, you made us call Brandon and Michael back, at such a critical time. A time that they really need to be concentrating on something else.”
Not about Alex. At least, not yet anyway. “I know. I wasn’t trying to run away.”
Michael sat ridged in his chair; his eyes could have burned holes into the table in front of him. “Lacey, we want to make being here as easy on you as possible. Serena is spending as much time as she can with you, to make sure you feel at home, and accepted into the pack. The problem is, every time we think you are making headway, you do something idiotic. Didn’t you realize how your actions would affect every other member? People here want the best for you and want to see you succeed in your destiny. They want to feel connected to you. But so far, all you’ve done is shut them out. You need to make more of an effort to know the people around you. They are the ones risking their lives for you, everyday.”
“I never asked them to. I never wanted any of this.” I sounded like my mother. Or… my fake mother.
Michael tightened his jaw; that was an opinion I should have kept to myself. Michael was the pack leader, and no one talked to him that way… not even me. “How easily you forget why you came with us in the first place.” Michael stood so fast his chair scraped across the floor and flew backwards into the buffet table behind him. “You’re eighteen now. If we hadn’t risked Brandon’s life to come for you, you’d be dead, and I’d be trying to find any way I could to mate him with someone else.”
“Why don’t you try that anyway?” My blood boiled beneath my skin. The flames burned red across my arms and spread down the length of my spine. He may have been the leader, but no one threatens me. The months I already endured were enough punishment for a lifetime. “Bailey is sure she is the one for him. Why don’t you try to bond them? I bonded with Alex. Why couldn’t he bond with her?” Brandon deserved to be happy, and Bailey could give him everything he needed.
“It’s not that simple, Lacey,” Serena jumped in, trying to defuse the tense standoff between Michael and me. “Brandon won’t have it. He won’t see past you.” Nicole said Robert’s son died for the same r
eason. He couldn’t get over his mate. Brandon was stubborn and so self-assured that we were to be mated—maybe he couldn’t see the possibility of someone else. Then again, those who live in glass houses and all… I couldn’t see my life without Alex.
“Mating Brandon with someone else is out of the question. There is no time. We’ve already tried and failed.”
“With Bailey?” I blurted out, not barring the consequences of the words.
“No, not with Bailey. Why are you so concerned with her? Brandon and Lily both said you asked about her.”
“She’s a better choice for him…”
“No, she’s not.” Lily pushed the door open from the kitchen. Emile grabbed the little eavesdropper away from the door.
You could have heard the crickets through the silence. Michael finally gave up and walked into the kitchen to stop Lily and Emile from listening in. Unfortunately, that left me alone with Serena, and her books.
“Why don’t we talk about mating?” She urged me to take my seat again, and cautiously, I did.
“Do we have to?” Mating was the last thing I wanted to think about. I didn’t want to hear how we are mated with certain people for a reason, or that the leaders of the pack are obligated to their people, or how Brandon risked his life for me. I didn’t want to think about any of these things; subjects they repeated and shoved in my face daily. I just wanted this day to be over so I could climb back into my bed, curl up with my dead iPod, and hum my music, so Alex would appear for me. We would be together again. We had to be.
“Lacey, Brandon is deeply in love with you.”
“He doesn’t know me.”
“Yes, he does. All those times that you thought were dreams, were real to him. All the playing, the transforming, the love, the emotions… all of that was real to him. He brought you the images, created them at great lengths, just for you. It is our form of courting, the early stages of love between two souls meant to be together forever. When you are older, you will still be able to bring each other images, but the first ones are what make your bond strong.”