October Joy (Moments In Paradise 1)

by Melanie Wilber

  “Thanks for coming,” she said as Andrew gave her a hug. He had showed her affection in front of her children, but not as freely as she had become used to. She knew he had done so for their sakes, not hers, and she appreciated it, but now she wanted to have all she really needed. He could call her twenty times a day, but it wouldn’t be the same as having him here, holding her in his arms.

  He didn’t say anything and kissed her also. She soaked up his presence like an orphaned child who needed to be loved. And she felt no shame in that. She didn’t know how that was possible in this house she had shared with another man, but it was real. Like a huge dose of grace from heaven that said, ‘This is okay, Sarah. This is My plan for you. Embrace it.’

  “I need you so much, Andrew. I felt lost today without you.”

  “I felt lost without you,” he said. “You’re a part of my world now. You can’t go without leaving an empty space in my heart.”

  She made them some coffee, and they sat and talked about her day. Having him here reminded her of something she had been thinking about on the plane yesterday. Flying home and yet knowing this wasn’t really her home anymore, she remembered something, and she shared it with Andrew.

  “So many times during these last three months, I asked God why He hadn’t taken me instead of Levi. It didn’t make any sense to me. Why should Levi be in Heaven when he could be doing so much good here? And why couldn’t I be there since I’m so worthless here? But you know what I think now?”

  “What?”

  “I think He took both of us to Heaven. Eternal life--real life with God--can begin here on Earth, can’t it?”

  “Yes.”

  “You figured that out a long time ago. Right?”

  “No, not really. I think Annika got that. She said some things sometimes I didn’t fully understand, but I do now. Over the last few years God has shown me He’s really here with us all the time. But if I forget that, I don’t see Him. So I try not to forget, and I enjoy Him, and if that’s all my life is about, that’s enough.”

  “But He gives you more?”

  He smiled and kissed her. “Just when I think I couldn’t be any more blessed, He’s got some surprise waiting I never imagined.”

  ***

  With Andrew helping all week and Chandler and Faye some too, Sarah knew in another week they would be completely finished. She made plans to stay with Chandler and Heather once all of her furniture had either been sold or given away. Originally she had been thinking of trying to keep some of it, but as she gave things away and got some good money for the newer furniture, she found she wasn’t crying over any of it. It was just stuff. Stuff that had been a part of her life but wasn’t worth the hassle of taking all the way to California.

  On Sunday they went to church, and with Andrew at her side, she didn’t worry about anyone saying anything negative to her directly. Everyone was polite to Andrew, saying it was good to meet him and congratulating them on their engagement. She knew some were genuine in their comments and others weren’t, but it didn’t matter.

  Those she felt the need to visit with more, she did so privately by meeting them for lunch or accepting an invitation to dinner. Her favorite time was with an older married couple who had been attending the church for many years. They were both godly people who had always been supportive of her and Levi. Preston had prayed faithfully with Levi every Monday morning for the last seven years, and June had the heart of a servant, often helping out behind the scenes and faithfully attending Bible study and a ladies’ prayer group whenever Sarah held those kind of meetings.

  Andrew was going back to California a week ahead of her, and they had dinner with Preston and June at their home the night before he was planning to leave. Like Andrew and Annika, they had wed in their late teens, and Preston said something that meant a lot to her.

  “If I would have left June a widow in her forties, Sarah, I’d expect her to be married to someone else by now. Levi used to pray for that, you know.”

  “Pray for what?”

  “He knew his heart was going to give out on him someday, and he prayed that when you were left here without him, God would have someone waiting to take care of you.”

  Sarah couldn’t respond. Glancing at Andrew, she felt her confidence in their relationship being confirmed but was also reminded of Levi’s great love for her, and if Andrew hadn’t said something to make her laugh, she would have cried a river over it right there at the table.

  “She thought I was an angel when we first met,” Andrew said. “And I felt like one.”

  ***

  Levi was sorting through his morning mail and came across an envelope style he hadn’t seen before. It was purple with his name written in silver.

  “What’s this?” he asked Joshua, turning it over to break the seal on the back.

  “You’ll see,” He said, waiting for him to take out the enclosed card.

  He read it to himself first and then spoke the words for Joshua to hear, phrasing it like a question. “You are invited to have supper in The Upper Room? Sincerely, The Twelve?”

  Joshua smiled. “I’ll be there too, of course.”

  Levi stared at him. “Is this for real? Supper with the Twelve Disciples in The Upper Room?”

  “That’s what it says.”

  “Where’s The Upper Room?”

  He had been studying Paradise maps lately and detailed ones of the City. Joshua had him going everywhere now on any given day to meet with various people who needed guidance in understanding Joshua and Paradise ways. He often didn’t feel qualified in counseling others. He still had so much to learn himself. But Joshua assured him he was doing fine, and he was learning a lot in the journey he could only learn by helping others.

  He had never imagined Heaven being so earth-like, and he had never imagined the people still being so people-like. Death and entrance into Paradise didn’t bring immediate transformation into perfect beings, as he had always imagined. It was just a starting point into a new kind of journey. A life where physical death no longer existed, but spiritual aliveness didn’t come so easily. Joshua was here for all to see, but seeking Him and living in His Presence was still a choice each person had to make every day.

  “The Upper Room’s location is always changing, but the instructions to get there are always the same,” Joshua said.

  Levi knew what He meant without having to ask, but he was going to have to check the ancient Scriptures to see the exact instructions Jesus had given to His Disciples on how to find The Upper Room in Jerusalem. Offhand he knew it involved meeting a man in the city and following him there.

  “And I’m going to meet The Disciples? John? Peter? Matthew?”

  “Also known as the Beloved Disciple, Simon, and Levi,” Joshua reminded him.

  He was still getting used to God having a sense of humor, but he did laugh, and he was reminded of what Joshua wanted most from him. Two weeks ago when given his first “assignments”, it had taken him most of the morning to figure out what Joshua had been trying to teach him the most during his first three months in Paradise. And like so many things, it seemed so obvious once he did. Inviting Joshua to walk with him while he did some thinking eventually led to him realizing that’s what it was. He was in the middle of simply enjoying Yeshua’s presence, taking a break from his deep thinking when it hit him:

  “This is what you want, isn’t it? For me to enjoy You? To be with me wherever I go, and for me to enjoy that reality, no matter what I’m doing. That’s what is most important?”

  “Yes, Levi.”

  “I’m not sure how.”

  “You know more than you think. You enjoyed me on Earth: when you enjoyed your time with Sarah and your children; when you taught others about My love and goodness; when you enjoyed recreation with family and friends and the beauty of Creation. You just didn’t always think of it that way and often laid it aside when other things became more pressing.”

  Levi found The Upper Room that evening with ease
as he followed the instructions Jesus had given to His Disciples, and although he was expecting a formal and serious gathering, he wasn’t surprised when it was more of an informal dinner party among friends. The Disciples were regular guys who clearly enjoyed one another and Joshua.

  They welcomed him and the few other “guests” in attendance, including his own father who had been here once before but had never mentioned it. He saw his dad on a regular basis, but he hadn’t talked to him today, so it was a pleasant surprise. They’d had a close relationship on Earth but hadn’t spent a lot of time together. Their priorities as adult men had been similar. God and ministry came first, then family, then anything else. It had made them good at what they did and gave them a lot to show for their efforts, but also distanced them from their wives, children, and each other.

  Tonight they didn’t discuss regrets of the past or how Joshua was using them here in similar ways, as they had on other occasions, they simply enjoyed the meal set before them by Joshua, the interesting stories others had to share, and a special time of taking the “Lord’s Supper” Levi had never encountered before. Not only because Yeshua was here with them, as He had been with the Disciples that first time, but also because His love had never been so real to him.

  On the way home, Levi let Joshua lead because he had no idea where he was, and he got the feeling Joshua took the long way, but he didn’t mind. He talked more openly and honestly than he had since being here, and instead of asking Joshua a lot of questions as he had mostly done so far, he simply shared his heart with Him:

  His concerns for Sarah and his children. His requests for their well-being, happiness, and to live as the beloved sons and daughters they were to Joshua. His desire to know that love for himself he had somehow missed so often on Earth, and his desire to experience Paradise for all Joshua wanted it to be for him, and to help others do the same. He was still a pastor here in so many ways, and he welcomed that, but he didn’t want to miss the relationship with his God like he had done for so many years.

  He wanted to make disciples, but he first and foremost wanted to be one.

  Epilogue

  The week of Thanksgiving was a flurry of activity from the moment Sarah arrived. Grace had taken care of some details regarding the wedding planned for this Saturday, and Sarah was appreciative of all she had done. She had taken care of some of her own wedding plans at the same time, and she enjoyed having a part in making it a special day.

  The one thing she hadn’t been able to do for Sarah was pick out a dress, and Sarah hadn’t wanted to look for one in Minneapolis she would have to bring across the country, so they went shopping together on Monday. Sarah wasn’t sure what style dress she wanted, but she found one she liked. It wasn’t a formal wedding gown, more of an elegant white dress with lacy sleeves and a flowing skirt.

  Grace looked at a few gowns for herself but wasn’t seriously looking until Sarah insisted they go back a second night to look for her too. Tabby went with them, and she found something. Standing there in the dress was more of an emotional experience than she expected it to be, and Grace missed her mom in that moment. She rarely cried in front of others, but she couldn’t help it. Tabby reached for her hand and told her she looked really beautiful. Sarah offered her a tissue and held her close for several moments.

  “I miss her so much,” she said. “I used to tell my friends I was going to have my mom be my matron of honor because she was my best friend, but now she’s not even going to be there.”

  “She’ll be there, Grace,” Sarah said. “We can’t see our loved-ones once they’re gone, but I believe they can see us, and I know she’s been praying for this day for you for a long time.”

  Grace smiled. “And she’s been praying for you for a long time too, Sarah. I know my mom, and I know she wouldn’t want my dad to be alone.”

  “I know she wouldn’t either.”

  From Grace’s perspective, Thanksgiving Day was one of the most wonderful ones she could remember having. Besides her family sharing the day together as they always had, the new additions made it extra special, and her brother and Kanani announced to everyone they were expecting their first baby.

  On Friday Sarah’s family arrived, and Grace enjoyed meeting them. That evening she overheard Sarah talking with Chandler and Faye. She had been in the family room but needed to go upstairs to get something, and she heard Sarah crying in the front room. Her dad wasn’t here. He’d gone over to the church to get some things set up for the wedding tomorrow, and Grace wondered if Chandler or Faye had said something to upset her, but standing in the hallway to listen, she found the opposite was true.

  “We really want to do this, Mom,” Chandler said. “Heather and I talked about it from the moment we heard you were moving. I can set up a business here as easily as I did in Minneapolis, and we have nothing holding us there. Dad’s gone. You’re here. Heather’s parents are up in B.C.”

  “How do you feel about that, Faye?” Sarah asked.

  “I’ll be all right, Mom. Jamison will take care of me, and I’ve thought a lot about what you said. We need to have our own life right now, and maybe in a few years we’ll end up out here too.”

  Grace went upstairs to get what she needed, and she didn’t hear the happy news officially until the following day when she was helping Sarah get ready before the wedding. Sarah told her because Heather had been in there with her grandson but then left to go change him, and it was like she was bursting at the seams to tell someone.

  “Does my dad know?” she asked.

  “No. I decided to wait until tonight to tell him. He’s been praying for that for me.”

  Faye had stepped out of the room also, and Grace asked her a question as if she hadn’t overheard any of this last night. “What about Faye? Is she planning to move here too?”

  “Not right now. Maybe eventually. Jamison’s family is in Utah, so it’s not like they have anything keeping them in Minnesota besides their jobs, but I think Faye knows she needs to invest herself in her marriage right now. When Levi died she became really unsettled about life, and she almost didn’t get married, even though I know she loves Jamison very much.”

  Sarah didn’t have time to say more, and during the ceremony when Grace was sitting beside James, watching Sarah and her dad exchanging their vows like she and James would be doing in another month, she thanked God for His perfect timing. She knew if she had gotten married sometime during the last five years, it would have been difficult for her to give herself fully to her husband. She would have felt torn between him and her family that needed her. But He had brought Sarah and James at just the right time. She didn’t fully understand her mother’s death that seemed so untimely, but she believed God had His reasons.

  She also knew her mom was smiling as she watched Dad marrying Sarah from the heavenly realm, and she smiled too. It wasn’t hard. Her dad had too much joy, and Sarah had too much peace and thankfulness written all over her face.

  “I can’t wait to marry you, Gracie,” James said later when Sarah and her dad were cutting the cake. He was standing behind her, holding her close.

  “I can’t wait either,” she said. “I bought my dress this week.”

  He smiled and whispered in her ear. “I bought something for you to wear too.”

  She laughed.

  “I also finished making all of the reservations for our honeymoon.”

  James had originally asked where she wanted to go, but she said she didn’t care, so he had decided and was keeping it a secret from her. “Oh, you must have bought me a warm parka for that ski resort we’re going to. How thoughtful of you.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, and I’ll keep you warm at night.”

  ***

  Annika’s attention had turned from Sarah and Andrew to see James and Gracie having a private conversation, but she couldn’t hear what either of them were saying.

  “What’s that about?” she asked Joshua. “What is James saying to make my baby smile?”

  �
��Sorry, Annika. That’s just between them.”

  “Please tell me they're really going to get married. I can’t stand the suspense one more day.”

  “I think you know the answer to that.”

  “I hope so.”

  “They are, Annika.”

  She smiled. Joshua had told her a secret.

  She leaned into His side, and He wrapped His arms around her. He held her close, and she felt the way she had on her wedding day to Andrew. It hadn’t just been Andrew loving her but Joshua loving her through her husband.

  “Did I love Andrew like I should have?” she asked.

  “You loved Andrew well. Very well. Just listen to this.”

  She listened as Andrew held up his glass to make a wedding toast. Holding Sarah gently at his side, he spoke with great emotion, and Sarah’s expression silently echoed his words.

  “To our children who have helped to make this day so special for us, and to Annika and Levi who loved us well that we might love again after they were gone.”

  Annika let the tears flow quietly down her face, and Joshua wasn’t too quick to brush them away.

  “From your earliest days you believed in My love for you, Annika, and you never let go of that. A heart filled with My love, loves well. And it’s eternal.”

  ***

  Andrew opened his eyes and saw it was morning. Reaching for Sarah, he realized she wasn’t in the bed beside him. Lifting his head from the pillow, he looked around and saw her standing in front of the window, gazing at the ocean from their hotel suite. She heard him stir and turned around to face him. He held out his hand, and she came over to the bed to sit beside him.

  “You’re up early,” he said, sitting up enough to give her a kiss.