Hopes and Dreams

by P. J. Trebelhorn

  “Will she be okay?”

  The doctor didn’t say anything right away as he kept his eyes on the chart he was looking at. After a moment he met her eyes again. “I’m optimistic for a full recovery, but there aren’t any guarantees. The sooner she wakes up and is able to breathe without assistance the better her chances are.”

  Riley nodded and sat back down with a sigh. She couldn’t shake the feeling that this might be it for her mother. A part of her felt a modicum of relief at the thought, but the little girl she’d never had the opportunity to be felt fear at the thought of never being able to connect with the woman who’d done such a dreadful job of raising her.

  “I’ll be back in about an hour or so to check on her,” the doctor said before exiting.

  Riley sat there just watching her mother, wondering if she would wake up. Her head moved a couple of times, and there was a hand twitch, but her eyes never opened. She’d been there for about half an hour when Megan walked in.

  “Any change?” she asked as she pulled a chair over and sat next to Riley. Riley just shook her head but didn’t look at her. “How are you doing?”

  “I’m fine,” Riley said.

  “What did the doctor say?”

  “That they would have to wait and see when she regains consciousness.” She sighed before turning her head to look at Megan. “Did you know she’s been here before?”

  “No,” Megan said, and Riley could tell by her expression she was being honest with her. “I would have told you. Why didn’t anyone ever call you?”

  “Apparently, she told them not to. She doesn’t want me here, so why should I stay?” Riley knew she sounded whiny, but she couldn’t help it. What kind of mother wouldn’t want her daughter to know she was in the hospital?

  “Riley?” She whipped her head back toward her mother, who was watching her and Megan. It was almost impossible to understand her with the tube in her throat, but Riley managed somehow. “What are you doing here?”

  “I was just wondering the same thing,” she said as she got to her feet. Megan left the bay, presumably to notify someone she was awake.

  “You should leave.” Her mother was still watching her, and she looked angry. “Thank you for coming, but you don’t have to stay.”

  Riley nodded in a daze, but she didn’t move. The doctor came in behind Megan. Riley knew he was talking, but she couldn’t hear anything he was saying above the pulse pounding in her ears. It was one thing to realize she wasn’t wanted there, but quite another to have her mother actually say the words to her. She turned and left, not looking back even when Megan called after her. She was done being stupid by hoping there was some way to mend the relationship with her mother.

  It was glaringly obvious her mother had been right when she’d told her no one would ever want her.

  Not even the woman who gave birth to her.

  Chapter Four

  “Haven’t seen you here in a while,” said Tyler, Vic’s best friend, who also happened to be the bartender in her favorite restaurant and bar. He set a coaster down in front of her and smiled. “The usual?”

  “Yes, and keep them coming,” she said. She watched him as he turned to get the top-shelf bourbon she preferred. He didn’t come across as being gay. Most people saw him and thought he was a typical “man’s man.” He was over six feet tall, and his biceps were almost bigger than Vic’s thighs. His hair was blond and a little shaggy, and his eyes a deep blue. He tended to get a lot of attention from the women who came in, and they tipped him well.

  “Tough day?” he asked as he set her drink on the coaster.

  “I’m just really not looking forward to going back home for the next three weeks.”

  “I can sympathize,” he said with a boyish grin. “I’m going to miss seeing your beautiful face around here.”

  “I see why you get so many women’s phone numbers.” She held her glass up in a salute before taking a drink. She closed her eyes against the burn as it went down her throat to settle in her stomach. “You’re a relentless flirt.”

  “I can’t help it.” He shrugged and wiped a nonexistent dirty spot on the bar. It was Thursday, but the crowds wouldn’t come until later, long after Vic was home and probably in bed. “So, you’re actually going to be staying with Mommie Dearest?”

  “Crazy, right? I just can’t say no to Vanessa.”

  “Well, you know I’m only a phone call away if you need a voice of sanity.”

  “You may come to regret that offer.”

  “I’m surprised Vera is allowing you to stay in her house.” Tyler shook his head because he knew all about how Vera felt about her. And how she felt about Vera.

  “It’s only because Vanessa insisted, I’m sure.” Vic took another drink before continuing. “If it was up to Vera I wouldn’t even be allowed at the wedding, much less spending three weeks under her roof. I’ll probably spend a lot of time in the town I wanted so badly to get away from just so I don’t have to deal with her any more than absolutely necessary.”

  “Does she still live there?” His emphasis on the word let Vic know exactly who he was referring to. Riley Warren.

  “She did a year ago.” Vic shrugged. “She’s the one who saved Vanessa after her accident.”

  “Excuse me?” Tyler said, taking a step back and placing a hand over his heart. “You never mentioned that little tidbit before.”

  “It didn’t seem important in the grand scheme of things.”

  “But you’ve told me everything about her. Why didn’t you reach out to her when it happened and try to set things right?”

  “I’m ninety-five percent sure she doesn’t want anything to do with me or my family.” Vic downed the last of her drink and Tyler grabbed the bourbon to refill it.

  “But there’s always that five percent chance she could surprise you.”

  “You’re such a romantic.” Vic laughed at him. “Don’t let that get out or you’ll have more women after you than ever.”

  “They can come after me all they want, but they’ll never catch me.”

  “I’m sure all the single men, gay or straight, out there are thankful for that.”

  “You know it.” He waved at a couple at the end of the bar and excused himself to go and wait on them.

  God, how she wanted to believe his five percent theory, but she knew better than to hope Riley could possibly have any feelings for her other than contempt and hatred. And she wouldn’t blame her one bit after the way she’d been bullied in high school. Vanessa and her friends had been relentless for a few months during their senior year because they assumed she was a lesbian, and even though Vic had tried to get them to stop, she’d ended up joining in because some of them had started to think she might be gay too since she’d been standing up for Riley.

  Of course she had been, but she hadn’t really been aware of it at the time. She should have been because she wasn’t interested in boys at all, but she assumed it was just the boys in Wolf Bay she’d been indifferent toward. She’d hoped college would change things for her, and it most definitely had, but not in the way she’d thought it would.

  “Promise me you’ll at least try and talk to her,” Tyler said when he returned. “You are an awesome woman, and she should be given the chance to get to know you as you are now. Let her know how you always felt about her.”

  “I can’t promise that,” she said, shaking her head as she stared at the amber liquid in her glass. “Just the thought of her rejecting me makes my heart hurt.”

  “Aww, who’s the romantic now?”

  “Not romantic, just realistic. They all assumed she was a lesbian back then, but I don’t know for sure she is. She could be married with a whole house full of kids.”

  “She could be, but if you spend your entire time there avoiding her, you’ll never know, will you?” He walked away to wait on another customer without giving her an opportunity to respond.

  It was a nice thought, but Vic knew she wouldn’t seek Riley out. She’d sp
ent years building walls to protect her heart, and she knew without a doubt Riley Warren had the ability to break through them all.

  She downed half her drink, then stared into the glass again as her mind went back more than two decades to the one day she’d never been able to forget. It was the one moment that haunted her because Vanessa had shocked the hell out of her with the words she’d yelled at Riley.

  “Hey, dyke,” Frank Mills said with a grin as he grabbed his crotch then rubbed up against Riley’s hip. “You just need a good man to show you what you’re missing, you know? I could help you with that.”

  Vic cringed at the words, and she wanted nothing more than to shove Frank against the lockers and castrate him. He was such an ass. She really didn’t know what Vanessa saw in him.

  “And you really think you’re the one who can do that?” Riley asked him as she shoved him away, and Vic silently cheered for her. “When I hear the word ‘man,’ I can assure you that you are not what comes to mind.”

  “You fucking bitch,” he sneered as he towered over her. “I should kill you.”

  “Frank, knock it off,” Vic said. “You’re such an asshole.”

  “You a dyke too, Victoria?” he said as he turned his attention to her. He grabbed his crotch again and grinned at her. “Maybe you need a little of this.”

  Vic looked at Vanessa, but she was just laughing at him. The others were all laughing too, and Vic felt her anger beginning to rise. She looked at Riley and saw her pleading with her eyes for Vic to make this stop, but she couldn’t. Not if she wanted to keep the peace with this group who had always been tighter with Vanessa than with her.

  “You wouldn’t be able to handle me, Mills,” she said with a forced chuckle. Frank returned his focus to Riley then.

  “She isn’t worth it, Frankie,” Vanessa said. Vic thought she might gag at the nickname.

  “Yeah, her mother’s a drunk, and I’m pretty sure the shirt she’s wearing is one my mother donated to Goodwill last summer. She’s a fucking loser and isn’t worth the effort, Frank,” Harper, Vanessa’s best friend, said. “And she’s nothing but trailer trash.”

  “You’re all assholes!” Riley yelled at them as she met every one of their eyes. Vic sucked in a breath because she knew standing up to this group just wasn’t done.

  “Harper’s right,” Vanessa said, her face turning red with anger. “You’re nothing but a loser. Why don’t you do us all a favor and just kill yourself?”

  They all laughed again, but they turned and walked away from her. Vic stood there for a second, wondering if she should apologize for what Vanessa had said, but she’d been so shocked at the words she couldn’t even form a coherent thought. She looked at Riley and hoped she’d see in her eyes how sorry she was before she ran to catch up with the others.

  To this day she couldn’t believe Vanessa had said it. It almost made her physically ill to think how all their lives might have changed if Riley had taken Vanessa’s words to heart and actually done it.

  She finished her drink and got to her feet after leaving her money next to the glass, along with a hefty tip, and walked out of the bar. She promised herself right then and there that sometime over the next three weeks, she would talk to Riley and try to make things right.

  If that was even possible.

  Chapter Five

  “There was a phone call about an hour ago,” Nancy said Friday afternoon, sounding even more low-key than usual. Riley looked at her, wondering what was wrong. Nancy seemed to find straightening boxes of candy more interesting than elaborating on the mysterious phone call.

  “Are you going to tell me what it was about, or are you going to make me guess?”

  “You’d never guess.” Nancy shook her head but met her eyes as she took a deep breath. “They want to have a bachelorette party here.”

  “Seriously?” Riley finished getting the popcorn machine going and then leaned against the counter and looked at her, her arms folded over her chest. Who the hell wanted to have a bachelorette party in a movie theater? It certainly wouldn’t be her first choice of venues.

  “Yeah,” Nancy said with a chuckle. “And they want to know if you can get Fifty Shades of Grey to show for them.”

  “Wonderful.” Riley rolled her eyes but didn’t move from her spot. She was sure she could get the film, but did she really want to? A theater full of crazy women who would no doubt be drunk sounded like her worst nightmare. “I assume you have a number for me to call back?”

  “Yeah, about that,” Nancy said hesitantly.

  In that moment Riley’s mind went exactly where she didn’t want it to go—Vanessa Thayer. But no, it couldn’t be her, could it? Why would someone with more money than God want to have her bachelorette party at a movie theater in Wolf Bay? The thoughts went through her mind in the half a second it took Nancy to tell her what she’d been holding back.

  “The woman who called was Victoria Thayer.” Nancy looked down at her feet after blurting it out, and Riley just stared at her. This could not be happening. Nancy knew all about her crush back in high school, and she also knew the hell Riley had gone through with the group of kids Vic chose to hang out with.

  “No,” Riley said, her voice quiet. “I won’t do it.”

  “She offered to buy out the theater for twice what you would get if the picture sold out.”

  “She could pay ten times and never miss the money.” Riley knew she was being childish, but she couldn’t help it. There was a part of her—a big part, if she was being honest with herself—that simply wasn’t able to push the past aside. The other part of her knew rationally that people changed, and twenty years was a long time. But apparently it wasn’t enough time.

  “Honey, I know how you must be feeling, but don’t you think you should give her the benefit of the doubt?” Nancy said softly as she placed a hand on Riley’s arm. “At least give them the opportunity to try and right some wrongs.”

  “They had the chance to do that after Vanessa’s accident,” Riley said, meeting Nancy’s eyes and refusing to look away. “It’s not like it was a mystery who saved her life that night. Megan made sure of that. My name was in the paper and on the news out of Albany. And not one member of that fucking family even attempted to thank me in any way.”

  Nancy grimaced at her use of the swear word. She and Andy were devout Christians and they never swore. At least they didn’t around Riley. They knew better than to think they could change her, so while they disapproved of the language, they hadn’t said a word about it to her in the past twenty years. They’d had plenty of conversations with her about it before she graduated high school though.

  “You should at least call her back.” Nancy walked away to go to the box office since they were about to start selling tickets to the next show. “She doesn’t know you’re the manager here. I never gave her your name. But you should be the one to tell her no.”

  Riley fumed for a moment, but knew Nancy was right. If she was going to refuse to let them have their party here, she needed to be the bearer of the news. She had no right to delegate it to someone else. She picked up the piece of paper containing Vic’s number that Nancy had set on the counter on her way past.

  “I’ll call her tomorrow,” she muttered to herself as she shoved the number into her pocket. She really didn’t want to deal with her today. She needed time to mentally prepare for talking to Vic again after so many years. She knew it was nothing more than an excuse, and Megan would no doubt give her hell for it, but she didn’t care.

  As if she’d conjured her up, Riley’s phone rang and she saw by the display it was Megan. She chuckled as she answered the call.

  “Hi,” she said. “Hold on a second.” Riley turned to Nancy, who was returning to the concession stand after making sure Tommy was set up with everything he needed in the box office. “Nancy, I have a call. Let me know if it gets too busy and you need me.”

  “Will do.” Nancy waved her off and Riley retreated to the office.

&nbs
p; “What’s up, Megan?” she asked as she sat at her desk.

  “Just wanted to let you know I’m going out with some people for a drink after work. You’re welcome to come with us.”

  “No, thanks,” Riley said with a shake of her head even though she knew Megan couldn’t see her. “I need some sleep after being at the hospital last night. I’d think you would too since we stayed up all night talking about how awful my mother is.”

  “What’s that saying? We can sleep when we’re dead?” Megan laughed. “I won’t be out late. I’ll try not to wake you up when I come in.”

  “I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t.” Riley laughed with her before they said they’re good-byes and hung up.

  It was busy as usual for a Friday night, but Riley was aware of the phone number burning a hole in her pocket through it all. She was entering all the numbers for the inventory after the last show started when Nancy came into the office and took a seat.

  “Everything’s all cleaned up and ready for tomorrow?” she asked without looking away from what she was doing.

  “Yes, it is. Tommy’s out there in case anyone comes out to buy anything,” Nancy said, referring to the kid who worked in the box office on weekends. “How’s your mother doing?”

  Riley sighed but didn’t say anything until she was done with her work. Nancy waited patiently for her to respond. After she shut the computer down, she swiveled her chair to face her.

  “I don’t know,” she said with a shrug. “She didn’t want me at the hospital. Something she made clear to the staff all the other times she’d been in the ER there and no one ever told me.”

  “I don’t know what that woman is thinking sometimes.” Nancy didn’t even try to hide her anger. “It was obvious she didn’t know what the hell she was doing while you were younger, but I’d hoped she would have gotten better now that you’re an adult.”