Arctic Fire_A Fortis Security Novel Book 6

by Maddie Wade

  Ava smiled. “Well, I should lie but it doesn’t fit with my new-found honesty. So yeah, sorry, it’s that bad,” she replied as she sat across from her. “Uh, why did I let him do this to me again?” Ava groaned.

  “You got me?” Roz answered.

  “You know he says that he wants six kids, six kids! He ain’t coming near me ever again.” Ava groaned as she took a tentative sip of the liquid in the mug.

  “What is that?” Roz asked wrinkling her nose.

  “Peppermint tea, it’s supposed to help with morning sickness, but it just tastes like shit.”

  “Does it help?”

  “No.”

  “So, don’t drink it.”

  “But then Zack will get on my case. I swear if I see the fucking Amazon man deliver one more book on pregnancy, I’m going to shove it where the sun doesn’t shine.”

  “Yeah, I could see how that would be annoying but you’re lucky he loves you so much.”

  “Yeah, I really am.” Ava smiled. “Talking of which, what happened with you and K? I had twenty bucks on you two.”

  “You did?”

  “Yeah, of course. The sparks flying around you two are enough to start an inferno.” Ava fanned herself as she pushed the tea away.

  “Yeah, well, apparently I’m an idiot. I pushed him away and now I don’t know how to fix it and save face.”

  Ava threw back her head and laughed. “Nobody gets to be in love and save face. It’s like having a baby, you don’t get to do that and let all the junior doctors see your vagina and keep your dignity.”

  “Yeah, maybe not,” Roz said as she picked at her fingernail.

  “What are you really scared of, Roz?” Ava asked.

  Roz looked up sharply. “Nothing!”

  “Try again.”

  Silence filled the room and Roz realised that by coming here she had been seeking this exact thing. A woman to talk to, someone who would call her on her bullshit and help her; a friend.

  “How can you be with Zack after he was shot? I mean how can you take the risk of losing him?”

  “The thing you have to understand, Roz, is that I love Zack with every bone in my body, even if he did knock me up again. So, me being with him or not makes no difference. If we weren’t together, something happening to him wouldn’t hurt less, it would make it worse because I would know that I wasted the time I did have. Let me ask you something. If K was killed now, how would you feel?”

  Pain at the very thought of him not being around filled her chest making it difficult to breathe. “I would be devastated.”

  “Exactly, so why not be with him?”

  Roz felt her mind and heart race with possibilities as everything Ava said, and what Zin had said came together. They were both right. She’d been a coward and for nothing, she already loved him, so it was done. She might as well go all in and work for the life they both wanted.

  She pushed back the stool and stood, the need to get to him suddenly of paramount importance. “I need to go!”

  “Yeah, you do.”

  Roz started to walk from the kitchen and then stopped dead. “Shit, the girls. I can’t leave them.”

  “Go, Zack and I will look after them, it will be great training for this fucking football team he wants.” She shooed Roz away with her hand.

  “Are you sure?” Roz hesitated, wanting to go but not wanting to just abandon the girls.

  “Yes, bring my husband his best friend home.”

  Roz rushed back to Ava and kissed her cheek quickly. “Thank you.”

  Ava laughed. “You’re welcome. Now go, shoo.”

  Roz didn’t look back as she ran to the playroom and explained to the girls that she had to go away for a few days and would bring them back the best present. Natalia had not shut up about Kanan since her return, so she knew she would be thrilled. She just prayed it wasn’t too late.

  ~~~

  The warm sand that slipped between the toes of her bare feet felt like home, a sigh of instant contentment escaped her lungs as Roz walked down the beach towards the place where she was happiest. She had chosen her white bikini for this confrontation, knowing that it was the one she wore when they first met and the effect it had on K.

  It might seem like a low trick, but she was nervous as hell. She would rather face a firing squad at this precise moment, but she reminded herself the greater the hardship, the greater the reward. The sloop he was working on came into view, the outline of someone working on it had her heartbeat ratcheting up.

  She’d left the kids with Ava, thrown some clothes in a bag and caught the first flight out not wanting to give herself time to talk herself out of it. Now as fear and apprehension hit her, she wondered if she had made a colossal mistake in coming here.

  As she neared the sloop she saw that it was Drew bent over the boat and her heart stuttered. Concentrating on the feel of the warm sun on her back, the sound of the waves gently lapping at the sand, she took a calming breath. How was it she was so nervous, this was K, but she knew that this conversation had the power to determine her entire future.

  Her gaze swung to the beach hut and her tummy tickled and her body tingled when she thought about some of the nights and days they had spent there. Closer now, she could see Drew was talking to someone and she knew without seeing that it was K. She could feel him.

  At that moment he spotted her and seconds later she saw him stand up, drying his hands on a rag. He looked fucking perfect! Cut-off jeans on his tan muscular thighs, bare chest, with just a dusting of hair to cover his six-pack abs and that sexy v that made her want to clench her legs together. His arms flexed as he moved them on the rag and her tongue came out to swipe at her dry lips as she saw his arms flex. Roz had never been one for muscular biceps and although K had muscles for miles in his arms, it was his forearms that made her weak.

  Fear made her pause before she came to a stand before him and raised her head to look into his handsome face and beautiful eyes. God, he was perfect, everything she ever wanted, and she would do whatever it took to keep him in her life. She loved this man more than anything and if she had to spend the rest of her life convincing him, she would.

  His eyes were shielded slightly by the cap he wore to protect him from the harsh rays of the sun, but what she could see was guarded. Neither spoke and the tension became unbearable.

  “Yeah, well as lovely as this is, I’m going for a run, a very long run and then maybe some errands in the village,” Drew said as he walked towards the beach hut. Neither she or K took any notice, both engrossed in each other.

  “Hi,” she said as she looked up at him, her head tilting down shyly.

  “You wore the white bikini,” he replied.

  “I wore the white bikini.” She smiled.

  “Do you want a drink?”

  “Can I have sex on the beach?” she asked with a naughty grin. This was the exact conversation they’d had the first time they met.

  K chuckled, his eyes dancing with light and humour and her breath caught in her throat. She hadn’t realised how dead she was without him until she allowed herself to feel again and now that she was here she realised that a life without him would be only half a life.

  Her face went serious as she looked at him with such longing in her heart. “Can we talk?”

  He paused, his smile fading before he nodded and turned to go towards the hut. She followed behind him, ogling his ass as she did. He turned and caught her, his sexy smirk and raised eyebrow giving her hope that this could be okay. “I’ve got beer,” he said taking one out of the fridge and handing her one.

  “Thanks,” she said taking it and sitting on the deck that led to the beach, her feet buried in the sand as he sat beside her, with only a few feet separating them.

  “Why are you here, Roz?” he asked, and she hated that he was calling her by her name, she wanted to hear him call her Kitten again.

  “I had a speech all planned in my head. I spent the entire flight rehearsing what I would say to yo
u.” She laughed nervously then.

  “Go on,” he said not giving her an inch.

  “The thing is, you know me, Kanan. I’m not good with words, I’m a moody cow, I cuss like a sailor, I don’t do people well, I get annoyed easily, I can be highly strung and as it turns out I can be a bit of a bitch.” Kanan chuckled and raised an eyebrow. “Okay, a lot of a bitch, but I’m also loyal and fiercely protective and when I love, I love hard and I love for all time. I have fought it and fought it because I’m terrified that if I lost what made my heart beat, then I would die too. But the fact is, I can’t fight it anymore. I don’t want to.” She turned to him, placing the beer aside and taking his calloused hand in hers.

  She let every emotion she felt show, the love, the fear, the hope, all of it was his to see as she faced him. “I love you with everything in me, my heart literally feels like it can’t beat without you beside me. I want us to be together, to build a life, to have a family, a future, I want it all with you. I will probably fuck it up but I….” she stopped as he let her hand go and cupped her by face in his big hand bringing her face close to his.

  Hazel eyes blazed with emotion as they locked with her blue ones. “Shut the fuck up and kiss me, Kitten,” he growled as his head descended on hers. Kissing her with heat and passion that spoke of how he felt. Tenderness mixed with so much love that she felt her throat clog with it.

  “I love you too, Kitten and I’m never letting you go again, so decide once and for all, before I strip you naked and fuck you for hours in our bed.” His voice was deep with desire and need as he spoke asking her to commit to them. It was the easiest decision she had ever made.

  “I’m in, K. I’ll be the Queen to your King,”

  “Fuck yeah, you will,” he groaned as he picked her up kissing her as she wrapped her legs around him and he carried her to bed.

  She was finally home.

  Epilogue

  It had been the craziest and best month of his life. He and Roz had spent two days in bed becoming reacquainted on St. Kitts. Drew had been suddenly called back to the UK on an urgent mission. They’d talked, and she told him about her chat with Zin, how sorry she was about the things she had said and the way she had pushed him away and why.

  To say he was surprised by how much she loved being a mum to Natalia and Katarina would be an understatement. Not that he was surprised how good she was, just that she enjoyed it so much.

  Leaving the Island and their beach hut had been bittersweet, but it was tempered with the knowledge that they would be back and together. Strolling through the Estate he found Zack in his office. He knocked on the door and went in.

  “Hey, K,” Zack said as he sat back in his office chair. He looked exhausted and the baby was nowhere near ready to come out.

  “You reading pregnancy blogs again?” he asked with a grin.

  “Fuck off.”

  “Hey, don’t shoot me, I didn’t tell her.”

  “No, your woman did,” Zack groused.

  Roz had become good friends with Ava and when she’d caught Zack reading a pregnancy blog she immediately decided that in the solidarity of woman she should tell her. Ava put a ban on any more books or blogs, stating that Zack was out of control.

  “I came to ask a favour,” he said as he sat across from his oldest friend, the man who had been raised as his brother.

  “Name it,” Zack responded instantly, making K grateful that they’d fixed their friendship.

  “Do you remember what we talked about when we were kids? About this place?”

  “Yes.”

  “I want to do it.”

  Zack sat forward and grabbed a pen. “I’ll have it drawn up, just write down the details.”

  Relief and sense of family flowed through K’s veins and he wished his mum and Katherine could be here to see this. The family had been so important to his mother and Katherine loved him like a brother, he hoped they could see how it had all worked out.

  “Thank you, Zack.”

  “No need to thank me, we’re brothers in my eyes,” Zack said slapping him on the back. “Now shouldn’t you be getting ready? Roz will have your head if you’re late for this.”

  K checked his watch and swore. “Fuck, I need to go. Fuck knows why I need to dress up for this, but she says its important so….”

  “Hey man, happy wife, happy life,” Zack laughed.

  Kanan sobered, he wasn’t sure if Roz would ever get to that stage, but he would settle for having her as his partner for life, even if he did feel a little frisson of disappointment at the thought that she would never be his wife.

  “Yeah, I’d better go.”

  They had an appointment at the court today to apply for official adoption of the girls. Their parental grandparents had signed away all their rights to them. It made K furious. Natalia and Katarina were such wonderful kids—smart, funny, brave, kind and so loving. When he and Roz arrived home, they’d cried when they saw them walk in holding hands. Natalia had clung to him declaring him the best present ever.

  Katarina had been a little more reserved, but she’d hugged him and said welcome home, which to him, had been two of the sweetest words he’d ever heard. Now they had settled down into forming a life together. It wasn’t easy, but they were muddling through and more importantly they wanted it.

  The only fly in the ointment was that he still had to tell Roz that he had been the soldier to rescue her. He knew he had to tell her, but he couldn’t seem to find the right moment. He would make a plan for this weekend and tell her and hope she didn’t cut his balls off.

  His Roz was still very much the woman he fell in love with, claws and all. She may seem to be domesticated now but his Kitten still hissed if you pissed her off and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

  After changing into navy suit trousers, a crisp white shirt, and navy suit jacket he jumped in his Classic Jaguar XK8 and drove to the court, arriving with minutes to spare.

  ~~~

  “Where is he? This was a stupid idea,” Roz said as she paced the hallway. Her nerves were shot. At the time this had seemed like a fantastic idea, a big gesture to show K how she felt. Now she felt ridiculous and was convinced he was going to walk in, take one look at her, and then walk away.

  “Don’t be silly,” Celeste admonished as she straightened out Natalia’s dress. “This is probably the most romantic thing I have ever seen.”

  Just then Zack rushed through the door. “He is five minutes behind me,” he said as he came to stand next to Zin.

  “Oh, God, I’m going to be sick,” Roz said as she started to pant like she was hyperventilating.

  Zin came around to face her and grasping her shoulders tight gave her a gentle shake. “Snap out of it, Roz.” He turned and looked at everyone else. “Can you all give me a minute please?”

  Celeste, Ava, and Zack took the girls through to the other room where all her friends and Kanan’s were waiting.

  “Roz,” Zin called, and she looked. “Do you love him?”

  “Yes, more than anything,” she answered clearly.

  “Do you want to be his wife?”

  She felt her face go soft at the thought of being Mrs. Roz Phillips. “Yes,” she murmured.

  “Then that is what you tell him and now is the time because he just pulled up. You got this sis, and if not, I can always kill him for you,” he half-joked.

  “Go, it will be fine.”

  Zin kissed her head and disappeared through the door.

  Holding on to a bouquet of pale pink and cream peonies, she tried not to let her hand shake. Today she would show K how much she loved him by asking him to marry her. The simple and elegant ivory satin gown she wore had a trumpet hemline, a Bardot neckline, and a slim diamante belt around her waist. It was beautiful and simple and suited her.

  The door opened, and K walked through, his eyes finding hers as confusion and was that hope mixed in his hazel eyes.

  “Roz?” he asked as he stepped towards her, taking her hand in hi
s as his eyes ran the length of her.

  “Hey,” she said softly as she looked at the man who was her saviour. “K, I need to ask you something.” She paused looking for the right words as her brain blanked. Taking a deep breath, she led with her heart. “From the first moment we met, you have given me nothing but peace, kindness, and your unwavering love and devotion. You are and will always be the only man who lives in my heart. You make me feel safe, loved, brave, and I want to spend the rest of my life being the woman who deserves that love.” Her voice wobbled, and she had to swallow as his eyes went watery with emotion. “I want to stand by your side for the rest of my life as your partner, your friend, your lover, and your wife. K, will you marry me?”

  His hand shook as his hand came out to cup her face, she tilted her head to nuzzle his hand. “I love you more than life, Kitten. Yes, I will marry you, but I need to tell you something first,” he replied as he led her to a seat and sat beside her, their hands locked together. Her heart hammered as she waited for his words.

  “Do you know why I call you Kitten?” She frowned and shook her head. “A little over fifteen years ago I was called to do a mission in Russia. It was a rescue mission. When we arrived it was carnage, but that night I rescued a woman who was so weak she was barely alive, and still she fought me like a wildcat. That woman was you, Roz. I was the soldier who carried you out of the Denisovich mansion.”

  Her breath left her in a swoosh as relief filled her. She had always known subconsciously it was K. Although the image was fuzzy, the feelings and his voice were the same.

  “I think I always knew it was you, deep down,” she whispered.

  “Are you angry?’ he asked as he tightened his hold on her fingers.

  “What? No, of course not. You saved me then and you saved me now. I love you, K and I want it all.”

  He stood then and dropped to his knee in front of her. “If we are doing this, then we do it the old-fashioned way. Roz, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

  She laughed and rolled her eyes. “Yes, you idiot, now let’s go.”