She's Only Seventeen: A Novel of Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll

by K. M. Ellis

  I walked in, he was still getting dress.

  I stared at him, I wasn’t sure what came over me, but as I observed his body, with his thick arms and chiseled chest with small hairs curling, I felt something I hadn’t felt before.

  “Can you stop for a second?” I said in a mix of frustration.

  “Why?’ he asked, stopping.

  I walked right up to him facing him.

  “Kiss me,” I said as a sudden wanting I had not experienced before came over me.

  “Woah, what… why?”

  “Don’t question it, Tom, please just do it.”

  He rolled his eye and put his lips to mine. Electricity ran through me as nature seemed to take over. I had to pull away before…

  Knock knock knock

  “Fuck,” Thomas whispered not looking me in the eye.

  I glanced quickly at him before looking through the peep hole where I saw James and Ian at the door, waiting for Thomas and me to join them for our practice session.

  “Just a minute,” I shouted.

  I went over to Thomas who was standing with his head in his hands.

  “Why, Kat? Why do you do this to me?”

  “I don’t know… I’m sorry...”

  “Like, what were you even thinking? What were we even thinking?”

  Knock knock knock.

  “We’re going down to the bar to wait okay?” I heard James shout.

  “Yeah,” Thomas responded looking at me.

  We stood in silence as the footsteps retreated away from the room. “Thomas, I’m…” before I could finish, his lips were on mine. I couldn’t stop it, I wanted him. He pushed up my dress and pulled off my underwear, then, slipping his own down, thrusting his body inside of me.

  “OH god, Tom… oh my god,” I felt escape my lips. I don’t know if they were in protest or pleasure.

  We merged together, quickly and smoothly, like we had been lovers for ages, not just that one time almost four years ago, it felt different, it felt better than it had then. His body was larger than I remembered and filled me up entirely.

  Thomas buried his head into my hair as a throaty moan racked though his body. I felt my own pleasure take on with him as we lay entangled.

  “Fuck,” he said again. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck” he quickly pulled out of me and sat on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands.

  I knelt down next to him on the floor, “it’s okay, Tom.”

  “No it’s not… we shouldn’t have. I mean, I wanted it but Kat…”

  “I know” I said putting my hand on his.

  “I couldn’t help it; I don’t know what came over me.”

  ”It’s really okay...” The feeling was gone now and I just wanted to escape.

  “What about Drew?” he snapped, cutting me off.

  “What about him,” I shrugged a little too casually.

  “Wow really?”

  “Stop, you said it yourself, you can’t stand him.”

  He glared at me.

  “I think you need to leave,” he stated sharply

  I stood up pulling my dress down over my bottom; I looked down where my thighs were slick with him.

  “Oh, that looks great, Kat, fucking go back to him with my shit all over you.”

  “Fuck you, Thomas,” I said grabbing the sheet off of the bed and wiping myself clean.

  He was laughing at me. “You know what I think? You’re pretty fucked up, Kat, cause you’re just going to go back to him and fuck him tonight and he won’t even know that I was up in your shit earlier today. “

  My hand went across his face in a sound smack. I quickly retracted it and covered my mouth in shock, my eyes wide.

  Thomas’ hand went up to touch his cheek where I had hit him. “Really, Kat?” he sounded hurt.

  “I’m… sorry… Tom, you just…” I didn’t know what to say. I had never hit anyone before.

  “Just leave, Kat. I’ll see you later.”

  I had nothing to say to respond to him. I walked towards the door and looked back at him, his blue eyes almost piercing into my soul. I felt that same feeling I had felt before, was this love?

  “I love you, Tom,” I said before I could stop it, surprising myself, as unwanted tears formed in my eyes.

  “No you don’t, Kat. You only do when it’s convenient.”

  “I…” I stopped, he just stared at me.

  I opened the door and left. Tears poured down my cheeks unwillingly. What was wrong with me?

  Thomas

  April 1985

  I couldn’t live with her, couldn’t live without her. The way she made me feel couldn’t be duplicated with anyone else. Believe me, I had tried. I got with James and Ian and explained Kat wouldn’t be practicing with us, I didn’t want to see her, nor did she even show up. I’d have to face her eventually but then and there I made a secret vow to myself that I would never touch Kathryn Crowne ever again if I could help myself.

  Drew

  April 1985

  Kat came back and forgave me. When I asked her if she had been crying, she responded with “Thomas and I got into a fight”.

  I left it at that.

  The two were awkward around each other that night when we all went out. I had ever been jealous of him, although I knew he had taken her virginity, but there was something about their relationship I wasn’t comfortable with.

  I sat down with him at the bar.

  “How’s it going”?

  “Eh,” he responded, taking a sip of his whiskey.

  “Doesn’t sound good, mate, let me get the next one,” I said motioning to the bartender.

  He wasn’t in a talking mood but I was determined to get it out of him.

  “So… you and Kat go into a fight?’

  “Yup…” he said. “Wait she told you?”

  “She just said you had a fight, not what it was about, I was actually hoping you would tell me. She was pretty upset. Today really wasn’t her day. I bet she told you all about us arguing earlier too.”

  “I had no idea honestly,” he responded, taking a sip.

  “Yeah, she’s kinda a prude sometimes, but aren’t all women?”

  “You fought over sex?” he asked, curious now

  Ah, I thought

  “Yep, she wasn’t in the mood, I was, you know, classic shit”

  “And this was this morning?” he said facing me now.

  I shook my head yes.

  “Well,” he said taking another gulp, “Your problem might be right in front of you,” he said pointing, drink in hand towards where Kat was…with Shane.

  He was behind her, whispering in her ear, holding her close to him with his arms. The smile, the look on her face was unmistakable, she desired him. She turned to him, his arms sliding down to her bottom. I went to get up from my stool when Thomas out his hand on my arm pulling me back down.

  “It’s not worth it,” he said. “Seriously, leave it be.”

  “Is she sleeping with him?” I asked bluntly.

  “No,” he responded

  A rush of relief went through me.

  “They’re just friends, close friends,” he said, reassuring me.”Nothing more, as far as I know, and I would know.” He added.

  Still, I couldn’t stop the feeling which had overcome me. I felt insecure, something I had never felt. Insecure that Kat, my Kat, didn’t love me as much as she made it seem.

  “They’re heading over here,” Thomas pointed out.

  Kat slid into the bar stool next to me as Shane stood next to her on her other side.

  “You want me to get you a drink” he asked her, his face close to hers. She patted his cheek, “I can get one” she said smiling.

  He kept his arm on the small of her waist. I eyed it and met his gaze.

  “What?” he asked me.

  “Do you have to be touching her?”

  He put both hands up, “Well sorry” he said sarcastically, placing his hand on the back of the stool.

  K
at stood up off of the stool and pressed herself close to me, throwing an arm around me, she was drunk.

  “What’s wrong, Mr. Crabby-pants,” she cooed.

  “Stop, Kat,” I said moving her arm.

  “Really?” she said glancing hard at me, then over my shoulder to Thomas.

  She huffed, “Whatever, I’m leaving.”

  “See you back at the room then”, I responded casually.

  She glared at me before walking away. I saw Shane immediately go to follow her.

  “Don’t you fucking dare,” I snapped. He shrugged and sat in her empty spot, drinking his beer. Soon we were in conversation with Brian who had joined me on my other side, talking about out next show. I hadn’t even noticed Thomas had slipped away.

  “Fucker” I whispered under my breath.

  Thomas

  April 1985

  “Kat, wait!” I shouted.

  She turned.

  I caught up with her facing her.

  “I’m sorry alright?” I admitted.

  She looked around before saying, “don’t be,” as she half smiled and hugged me.

  When she pulled away, I instinctively went in to kiss her. She half laughed and put a finger to my lips.

  “How about not,” she said, stopped me.

  “Why,” I breathed, closer to her now.

  She put her arms around me, “Because”, she smiled, tilting her head to the side, “look where it gets us, I’d rather us just stay friends. No sex, no kissing, nothing. Just friends, please?”

  “I can do that…” I responded hesitantly.

  Did she not feel it?

  She kissed my cheek in agreement.

  “I’m going up to bed, goodnight, Tom.”

  She walked away. I watched her go. When she was out of sight, I let out a heavy breath. Staring up at the stars, I smiled secretly to myself before rejoining the others inside.

  Kat

  April 1985

  I tried not to think as Drew came into the room that night, obviously intoxicated.

  “Stay away from Shane, okay?” he said to me as he walked towards me, his gait uneven.

  “Why?”

  “I see him all over you, he wants you and you’re acting like you want him.”

  “I don’t,” I lied

  “Whatever, be a good girl and come over here,” he slurred as he fell into a chair.

  I walked over to him where he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me onto his lap.

  “Let’s go to bed,” I suggested

  “Take your clothes off for me,” he asked

  “Or we can just sleep.”

  He pushed me off of him, “Get undressed and get into bed, Kat,” he demanded

  “No.”

  He tore at my clothes, “Stop!” I screamed

  His mouth came down on my breast, biting me, “Ouch!” I cried as I tried to push him off. He tripped and fell to the floor, unmoving.

  “Drew?” I said softly, kneeling down next to him, his breath was shallow and he began to snore. I felt relief wash over me.

  I changed my shirt and left the room, heading to Thomas’ room.

  I put my fist up to knock on the door and paused. What was I doing? Did I think I was just going to waltz in there and he would take me in his arms like before?

  Ugh, to feel that feeling again that I had felt when he had… I shut my eyes tight and forced myself to go back to the room where Drew still lay where I had left him. I got into bed and shut my eyes tight as I tried to drown the thoughts in my mind.

  Drew

  May 1985

  Kat and I moved in together after the tour ended. It was great and all, except for the fact that I had to see Thomas every day. I didn’t trust him at all. The way he looked at her, it disgusted me. At least Shane could admit to finding Kat attractive whilst Thomas wouldn’t even admit it. I was on good terms with the other guys in Neptune but with him… I felt frustration and anger towards, and I had every right to.

  Kat

  June 1985

  Tom and I lay outside by the pool, Drew had gone to practice with Arctic Circle and it was blistering hot.

  “I’m sweating like crazy, Kat, I’m gonna get in.”

  I frowned at him, “Fine.”

  We both stepped into the pool; I could feel his gaze on my nipples as they hardened in my white bikini top, in reaction to the coolness of the water.

  I quickly dunked myself.

  “I’m gonna go back over here,” he said when I came up from underwater.

  “What?! Tom!”

  I followed him out. He sat on his towel with his knees pulled up.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, confused

  “Nothing, I’ll come back in a minute.”

  I moved closer to him, noticing the bulge in his swim shorts.

  Oh I thought to myself.

  I lay back down on my towel as Thomas watched me. I felt a pit form in my stomach and warmth spread down in my lower belly.

  Slowly I undid the strings of my bikini bottoms, pulling the flap down and exposing myself.

  He gulped, still watching me. My hand went to the small nub as my middle finger began to rub it, my legs spread slightly.

  His mouth was agape as he watched me.

  “Touch yourself,” I said in a low voice to him.

  He lay back also, hesitantly pulling his shorts down, revealing himself to me.

  I noticed his dark hair around his member which travelled in a line up his belly button and spread to his broad chest in dark curls.

  He gripped himself and began to rub, up and down, his eyes on me.

  I felt my chest, rising and falling, faster. My nipples harder now and my skin flushed as rubbed in unison with him.

  His mouth opened as he began moving faster, his hand a blur, I felt myself exploding as he breathed out hard, releasing over his stomach and tangling with his hairs, his breath coming him heavy heaves now.

  I reattached my bikini strings and sat up.

  “Do you want to go back in now?” I asked him

  He let out a half laugh, half sigh, “Yeah, he said, stuffing his semi soft body back into his shorts and looking down at his chest.

  He stood up and reached out his hand. I took it.

  I could feel my heart thumping as we fell into the water together, laughing and playing like children.

  It didn’t feel wrong. After all, we were just friends.

  Thomas

  July 1985

  “Can I sit in?” Shane asked as Neptune practiced in one of Roy’s rented out studios in downtown.

  “Yeah man, go ahead,” James said as he pulled up a chair for him

  I watched as Kat met his gaze, a small smile spread on her lips.

  Looking back at him, I noted the mirrored look on his face and a feeling of dread came over me.

  I didn’t want him near her, I didn’t want Drew even near her and she was dating him. I wanted her for myself and part of me felt like I had her. She enjoyed teasing me and taunting me. Honestly, I didn’t mind it. We flirted, probably more than we should have. Her body rubbing past me intentionally, knowing what she did to me.

  Shane waved at Kat who came over and hugged him.

  His hand lingered on her waist, traveling down and resting on her bottom briefly before he came away from her.

  I didn’t want to feel jealous, but I could have killed him right then and there.

  Shane

  July 1985

  “Shane!” Kat managed

  I had been all over her. It started as innocent kisses, lately graduating in the past months to more passionate, crazy moments. Never sex, never anything sexual really, just kisses.

  “Can’t stop…can’t…” I said laughing before pulling away from her.

  Her hair was a mess and her lips red. God she looked beautiful.

  “Seriously,” she said. “What are we going to do?”

  We had been finished with our tour for about two months. Kat had moved into D
rew’s condo as much as I had wanted her to be away from him. We had been working on some songs for the new album and Arctic Circle had hopes of touring again early next year after the release. I was unsure of Kat and Neptune’s plans.

  Kat and I couldn’t deny our feelings for each other. Over the past few months we had discussed it over and over again. Kat leaving Drew. She wanted to. She had told me numerous times, but she still hadn’t. Therefore, when I had asked why, she explained that she wanted Drew to leave her. He wasn’t going to and it would be ten times harder now, with a ring on Kats finger. Yeah, they had gotten engaged, halfheartedly. You can only imagine how angry I was when I found out she had said “yes “to him.

  Now, things had changed. She wanted to be with me and I was going to make that happen. She would never marry Drew if I had anything to do with it. She would marry me.

  “So?” she asked, “how are we going to do it?”

  “I’ll throw him an engagement party…. next week…” I started as I began to kiss her neck.

  “Then?”

  “Then I’ll get him to cheat. Easy. Wave a good looking woman in front of him when he’s wasted. It will work, I promise,” I said partially convinced. I mean he had been faithful to her all these months as far as I knew.

  She kissed me, climbing on top of my lap and pressing down on my cock. I could feel her warmth through my jeans. Soon I had to remind myself. Soon Kat would be mine, forever.

  Kat

  July 1985

  “A bunch of us are going out tonight, an engagement party, Shane said. Sorry its guys only, but you’ll be here when I get back, wontcha sweet?”

  I nodded; I would be here of course.

  “Who’s going with you?” I asked knowingly.

  “Oh you know, Shane, Brian, Nick, Alex, oh Thomas is coming to.”

  “Is he?”

  I hadn’t seen much of Thomas in the past couple weeks with the exception of practice. I got the feeling he was a bit irritated with me, especially now since I had gotten engaged stupidly.

  “We’re all meeting here about nine,” he stated

  “Alright, so you’ll all be coming back here after?”

  “Yeah probably.”

  He smiled at me, I melted. I felt a pang of guilt at what was planned. Maybe he wouldn’t take the bait. Maybe he would be faithful.

  “Drew,”

  “Hmm?”

  I strolled over to him, kissing him hard on the mouth.