by K. M. Ellis
I pulled him down for a kiss.
In the morning we packed and headed home. We didn’t speak much, but no words could say what we were feeling or thinking. The way he glanced at me, the way he smiled was all I needed to know.
Thomas
January 1997
Kat got back a few days after the funeral. Immediately I could sense something was wrong. As she explained to me about Shane’s father she broke down in tears.
“Is there something else, Kat?” I asked dreading the answer and feeling a pit build up in my stomach.
“I…” she started. “I…”
“You slept with Shane.” I said softly, it wasn’t a question.
She burst into tears. I could feel the heat in my face.
“You really did?” I asked, “Why?”
She just nodded.
“Kat,”
“I know!” she said loudly, tears running down her cheeks. “God, I suppose you’re going to leave me now?”
“Leave you? No, Kat, I’m not going to leave you…”
“You should!”
“Kat, believe me, I’m fucking fuming, but I’m not gonna do that, unless that’s what you want…”
“Its not!”
“Then… don’t do it again plain and simple.” I said, trying to contain the anger boiling in me
She looked up at me
“I love you, Tom.”
“I know you do; Kat and I just don’t understand why you would do that after so long.”
“Tension was there? I don’t know it was a strange situation… with his father and all. I know it’s not a valid reason… I thought of you…” she tried to explain
“Don’t say you thought of me, Kat that just makes it even worse.”
She threw her arms around me. Pausing for a moment, I then put my arms around her and held her tight.
I went to kiss her and she turned away.
“What?”
“This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be. It’s not the way I ever wanted it all to be. I’m so scared, all the time, about you and me, you know? I can’t blame my parents, even though I want to. Tom, I’ve never seem a positive relationship in my life, nor have I had one. With you… with you it’s the closest thing I have to everything I’ve ever wanted. I don’t want to lose that.”
I looked at her incredulously, her eyes puffy and her nose red from crying. I didn’t care that she had slept with Shane, she wanted me, and I wanted her. She was trying.
“Come here, Kat,” I motioned her into my arms
“Are you sure?” she asked
“Yes, I’m sure.”
She let me kiss her then.
Shane
January 1997
I shouldn’t have touched her. I should have ignored her and not given into temptation.
She was different now, never stopping in for conversation. Sometimes she would glance at me and I her, and I would feel it. The passion which had been missing from my life stirring deep inside of myself. She made it happen.
I had told Drew that I had slept with Kat. He was still one of my closest friends and with Kat out of the picture and the fact that Drew had not been the father of her child, we began to reconnect.
“You shouldn’t have done it,” he said straight to my face.
“I couldn’t help it, she was...”
“No, I know exactly what you mean, and now you know what it was like for me when you were with her.”
I turned to him, “You still have feelings for her,” I accused.
“I… no…” he said
I shrugged, “It doesn’t matter if you do or don’t anymore, I’ll probably never be with her again.”
He nodded in understanding.
“Come on, let’s go write something,” I said smiling.
1998-2000
Kat
January/October 1997/2000
The next couple years went by fast. I watched Darla grow from an adventurous child to nervous teenager. Thomas suggested that I should avoid dealing with Shane and so things went back the way they were before with us virtually ignoring each other.
Darla was going through her preteen years. I remembered myself at that age and the loss of both of my parents. I had hoped that Darla was having a better life than I had. She loved Tom and him, her.
Neptune had escalated and we had done two six month tours within the last three years while releasing two albums and working on another. I watched James get married and have a baby which I was overjoyed to be a godmother to.
Thomas and I’s relationship flourished during this time also. With Arctic Circle out of the picture, I was all his and I honestly couldn’t want anyone else. Neptune was everything and more that I had ever dreamed of. We had escalated in the business and in my opinion; I thought we were just as big, if not bigger than Arctic Circle. Maybe just not as established as they had been around a bit longer than we had, but still, I was proud to be a member.
We had been invited to join an awards ceremony in September of 2000 for the millennium. I was aware that Arctic Circle would be there as well as other big name bands like Dreamer. I was excited. We would not be performing but we would be receiving an award. Our fourth in the past couple years.
We arrived at the ceremony. It was a huge hotel which the main ceremony would be on the bottom and the awards ceremony the next floor, while our rooms ran all along the upper levels. I had left Darla at a friend’s for the night and she was over the moon at seeing her mother on television. I wore a “show stopping”, as Thomas said, dress. It was a beautiful leather and lace, high low style with snakeskin heels which had become one of my signature marks. It was a beautiful presentation of my personality. I wore my long hair half up and half down, letting its natural curl take hold.
I sat with Thomas, James and Ian at a center table. Thomas spotted Arctic Circle and nudged me. Shane glanced over as did Nick who waved a hand in greeting. I shyly waved back before taking my seat.
As the ceremony dragged on we received our award. At the conclusion there was an announcement about the after party upstairs. We went upstairs and joined the others.
“Want one?” I asked Thomas, pulling out a small white pill from my bag.
He opened his mouth and I placed it on his tongue. He took it, smiling.
It had been a while since I had done any sort of drugs, but tonight was an occasion.
As the ecstasy set in, I danced with Thomas. I shot glances at Shane who willingly looked back.
“Can we play with him?” I whispered in to Thomas’ ear.
He chuckled, “Yeah, why not.. What do you have in mind, Kat?”
I kissed him. “Meet me in the hall.”
I walked boldly over to Shane at the bar; I could feel the other members of Arctic Circle glaring at me. Ignoring them, but fully basking in their stares, I asked Shane if he would come with me.
“Sure” he said. I took his hand, leading him out of the ball room.
I walked over to where Thomas was standing in the hallway. We walked past him. I winked at him and he smiled mischievously at me. I brought Shane into the adjoining hallway where I pushed him against the wall and locked lips with him. He pulled back, surprised.
“Wha… what about Thomas…?” he asked, confused.
“Shhh”, I said softly, kissing him again. This time he responded, pulling me to him. Suddenly I felt a hand on my waist. I turned around and Thomas was standing there. I turned to him and kissed him. When I turned back to Shane, he looked perplexed. I pulled out another white pill and presented it to him.
“Kat, I haven’t done that since before we met.”
I motioned for him to open him mouth.
“Come on, dude,’ Thomas coaxed him.
He sighed but did. I placed the white pill on him tongue as I had Thomas, sealing it with a kiss. I turned back to Thomas, kissing him in turn. Shane took my hand, bringing me back to him, seemingly getting more comfortable. I felt Thomas’ hand come back around me also
.
“Wanna go upstairs? He asked us both.
“Let me go tell the guys, “Shane said
“I’ll go, “I quipped, turning on my heel and walking back in, before either could object.
I walked over to where Nick was, “Hey, I’ve got Shane, he’s going to hang with Tom and I for a little bit.”
“Okay, Kat,” he said smiling. “God you look good.”
I laughed. “Stop it,” pushing his hand away. His smile widened.
“I’ll let ‘em know.”
I walked away from Nick but before I could leave, Drew caught me.
“What are you doing?” he asked
“I’m just gonna have some drinks with Tom and Shane”
“Why… Shane?” he hiccupped, obviously drunk.
“Because we’re friends”
“No you’re not friends, Kat. You’ve fucking destroyed him. He’s still infatuated with you and you knowingly with someone else are going to play with him.”
Play
“It’s just drinks”
“You know what you’re doing Kat, you always have.”
I glared at him.
“You’ve always been a fucking whore,” he slurred, “and I hate you for it.”
I walked straight up to him and got close to him so our faces were inches apart. “No, you’re jealous. You’re jealous because I have never felt that way about you and I never will.” I pushed him away from me.
He staggered backwards and stood there speechless as I turned and walked away.
“Kat,” I heard
I turned and saw Brian walking towards me
God not again, I thought
I put on a smile.
“Hey, Brian.”
He didn’t respond, he just grabbed a chunk of my hair and pulled me close to him into a kiss. I instantly pulled away, he reeked of alcohol.
“I have to go, Brian, I’m sorry.”
“Sure you are Kat.”
“I’m sorry” I said again
“Yeah, you have no idea how much you hurt me, you know that?”
I shrugged, “I don’t know what to say.”
“You never do.”
I walked away then, turning back into the hall.
“Ready?” Tom asked
I shook my head yes and took Shane’s hand to follow us. He wasn’t hesitant now; I could tell the drug was beginning to take in.
In the elevator Shane pawed at me. I laughed out loud, pulling him closer and kissing him deep. I opened my eyes to see Thomas smiling at me. I shut them, giggling and pulling away.
We fell into Thomas and I’s room in a fit of giggles. I threw my arms around Thomas, starting to unbutton his shirt. With my hand still on Thomas’ buttons, I pulled Shane towards me and started to remove his. Shane’s lips came down on me then and his hands roamed over my body trying to get my dress off. I backed away from them both and let it fall to the floor.
“Jesus, Kat,” Shane said taking my face in his hands and kissing me again, I could feel his hardness through his unbuckled pants.
While kissing Shane, Thomas came up behind me and began to kiss my neck. He was hard also, the feeling was exhilarating. I pulled Shane’s pants off, leaving him in his boxers. I turned and did the same to Thomas, who grabbed me and threw me onto the bed. He was on top of me, laughing.
“Come here” I said to Shane.
He leaned in and kissed me fully again.
Thomas then pulled off his boxers and entered me. I reached for Shane’s member which was still stiff and began to rub it.
Thomas pulled out of me then. His hard cock pointing in Shane’s direction, slick with my juices. Shane’s eyes went to it.
“Touch it,” I told Shane.
His eyes narrowed, then after a pause, his hand gripped Thomas. Thomas’ head went back as he let out a soft moan.
Thomas then full on kissed Shane. Shane didn’t pull away; instead he knelt there with Thomas, embracing it. Thomas grabbed Shane’s cock then and the two moved in motion. I began touching myself then, I couldn’t help it.
Thomas took a breath, “Kat, fuck him, please.”
I laid Shane down and rode astride him. As he entered me, he let out a gasp.
I felt Thomas behind me. He spit on his cock and pressed it to my behind. He entered me making me cry out.
The two men rocked my body.
“I can feel you,” Shane said to Thomas
I could tell Shane was close and this perfectly fitting puzzle was not going to last forever. When Shane let out a yell with his orgasm, Thomas untangled Shane from us, and entered my soft spot himself, which was still seeping with Shane.
He then let out a hard moan himself and fell atop me.
Shane had passed out on the bed and I lay between him and Thomas, finding sleep also.
Shane
October 2000
When I awoke, Kat was facing me, holding my hand with Thomas’ arms around her. I shook her hand, waking her up. When she stirred, Thomas woke also.
“God, what time is it?” he groaned
“Almost 11,” I answered.
“Fuck” he said, getting up quickly. “We need to get dressed. I’m gonna hop in the shower.”
He went into the bathroom and shut the door, leaving Kat and I alone.
Kat looked up at me. “Mmmm, I suppose you need to get going also?”
“I do,”
She pulled me back in for a kiss. Before I knew it, I was inside of her, moving with her, her eyes locked to mine.
“I love you so much, Kat,” I managed
Her eyes closed as she blinked away tears, “I love you too.”
I buried my face into her, letting her scent, her body engulf me.
She held me close as we both let go.
“I don’t want you to go,” she said after.
“I have to, Kat, you know that.”
I began to dress, leaving Kat in the bed with the sheet around her. Thomas appeared out of the bathroom, a towel around his hips.
“I’m gonna get going,” I told him.
“Alright, man,” he said petting me on the back and locking the door after me.
In the hall I gave a loud sigh, and then walked down the hall to the stairwell to the next floor where my room was. As I approached my room, I saw Drew with his bag.
“So you spent the night?” he asked
“Yeah I got fucked up and passed out”
“Sure you did, “he said sarcastically. “You need to stay away from her; she’s going to mess you up.”
She already had.
Thomas
October 2000
“Did you just fuck him?” I asked as Shane shut the door.
She shook her head yes.
“I was okay with last night cause I was there and obviously we were all a little drugged…but Kat, you can’t just sleep with him whenever.”
“It was the last time.” She said, “The last time ever.”
“Okay, let’s just… let’s just forget about last night…” I paused, “and this morning.” I told her.
She got up, letting the sheet fall off of her, revealing her soft, smooth curves.
“I’m going to shower,” she said strolling past me.
I followed her, I couldn’t help myself.
Brian
October 2000
A week after the party, Drew, Alex, Nick and I sat with Shane in his basement studio. We had decided to approach Shane about his involvement with Kat.
“Why do you even care if I see her?” he asked us.
“Shane, she screwed us all up once and I… we… don’t want to see it happen again,” I said firmly.
Shane stood with his mouth twisting in a frown.
“I don’t understand why you would want to be around her anyways after everything she did to you.” Drew piped in.
“She’s really not that bad,” Nick voiced
“Oh stop it; you just say that because she never did anything to you.” Drew gr
owled at him
“Nick is right, I mean you are all gaining up on her and I haven’t even talked to her in years,” Alex said.
“I talked to her the other night,” I said, “So did Drew, and from what he told me, the exchange wasn’t pleasant.” I looked over to Drew who nodded.
“She didn’t tell me that she spoke with you both, only that she talked to Nick.” Shane responded.
“Did she tell you that she kissed me?” I asked
Shane’s eyes flared, “she did not kiss you.”
“I saw it,” Drew said, backing up my lie.
“So what do you want from me?” Shane asked.
“Just see her to drop off and pick up Darla, forget her. She hasn’t changed no matter how many times you sleep with her again. She’s still the same Kat. Actually sleeping with you confirms that. She can’t even be faithful to Thomas.” I said He let out a breath, “Fine, you know, yeah you’re probably right.”
“Just focus on us, dude. We got a new album we’re working on, no distractions, right?” Drew said to him.
Shane nodded, “Better get to it then,” he replied in a low voice.
James
October 2000
“So you guys all went up to the room?” I asked her incredulously.
Kat began giggling nervously, “Yeah, I don’t even know how it happened. I just was so fast.”
She passed me the bag of chips we had been munching on as we sat in the small gazebo in the garden. Thomas had gone inside to call Ian who was late for practice once again.
I had taken the opportunity to ask her about what had happened the other night; I knew she would tell me.
“Did they both spend the night?” I asked her.
She shook her head yes, biting her lip to suppress a smile.
“And?” I asked, pressing her.
“Okay, fine.” She said giggling again, “but you have to swear never to tell a soul!”
“Cross my heart.”
Kat let out a breath, “We all did it. I mean we all had sex. You know like a threesome, well yeah it was an actual threesome…”
Her face got red.
“Tom let you do that?” I asked shocked
“Yeah, he even…. He even did things to Shane.”
“Those must have been some strong drugs.”
“Shush!” Kat hushed me as she saw Thomas coming.
“What?” Tom asked, his eyebrow cocked.