by Ruth Reid
Judith nodded. “What was that? Please tell me it was a squirrel.”
He glanced up at the limb overhead and chuckled. “Would it be less frightening to think it was a furry rodent lurking in the darkness?”
She crossed her arms. “You think that’s funny?”
He shrugged, and his lips twitched as he tried to hold back his laughter.
She groaned. Not him too. Andrew Lapp never poked fun at people.
“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “It was a raccoon.” His lips twitched again.
Judith wanted to hold on to her annoyance, but the silliness of the situation hit her, and soon she was laughing with him.
He stood with his hands jammed in his pockets, rocking back on his heels, a sheepish grin splayed across his face. “You have a nice laugh.”
She covered her mouth with her hand long enough to compose herself. “What are you doing out here?” She hoped her tone didn’t sound as ruffled to him as it did to her.
Andrew looked toward the trail. “I was looking for you. Everyone is.”
Everyone. Had a search group been called? David, in particular, would be upset with her for worrying their parents and for disregarding supper preparations.
“Kumm, I’ll walk you to the haus.” Andrew pulled his hand from his pocket and placed his arm around her long enough to turn her toward the path. “Where have you been anyway?”
“I . . . got lost.” Following an angel through the ferns.
He stopped and stared at her, longer than she liked.
She began walking to break the awkwardness of his gaze.
After several moments, he broke the silence. “We’ve all been down to the river a thousand times. How did you get lost?”
His tone didn’t sound accusing, yet she felt the weight of his probing question. She slowed her pace, scuffling her feet and kicking up leaves as she walked. She was grateful they were deep into the woods and the sun had set, so he wouldn’t see the turmoil on her face.
“I wasn’t lost. I was hiding.”
He blew out a breath. “From who?”
She continued to walk. “Some of the parents . . .” Her words trailed off, and she wished her thoughts would fade with them.
A light flickered in the distance. Her leg muscles locked.
Andrew halted at the same time. “What’s wrong?”
“Did you see that?” She wouldn’t have to explain her vision if the angel appeared now. Andrew would have his own story to tell.
He nudged her shoulder. “You’re getting awful jumpy.”
Jumpy, he says. If he’d seen what I did, maybe his nerves would be on edge too. After concentrating her focus on that section of woods and not seeing another flash, she let out her breath. With Andrew at her side, her muscles recovered and she could walk without her legs feeling like noodles.
At another flicker of light, she gasped. “Did you see that?”
Andrew’s chest expanded protectively, and he shielded her with his arms before he took a step forward. “Levi, is that you?”
“Jah.”
Judith sighed so hard, she was sure Andrew felt her breath on the back of his neck.
Twigs snapped in the wooded area, and Levi’s light became visible. “Did you find Judith?”
Andrew turned, his breath warming her face. “She’s with me.”
A pine branch sprung forward, then swept back as Levi emerged. He directed the flashlight in her direction. “What have you been doing?”
“What are you doing with a flashlight? You frightened her,” Andrew said.
“I keep one in my buggy for when I’m out late.” He turned to Judith. “I was worried about you.”
Her heart lightened at the thought. She longed to see the sincerity in his eyes, but the beam of light aimed at her face blacked everything out.
“Martha said you created quite a stir in the haus.”
Martha said . . . Her stomach knotted.
Levi directed the light over to Andrew. “She was making more claims that Samuel will walk.”
Judith had a full view of Andrew’s raised brows.
Levi flipped the light back on her. “I told you, Judith. There wasn’t any fog that day, and no one saw a man standing at Samuel’s side.”
“He was kneeling,” Judith corrected.
“Kneeling,” Levi echoed in a mocking tone. “Did you tell Andrew what this man said?”
Judith raised her hand to block the beam. Why was Levi doing this to her? She thought he cared about her. Her thoughts swirled. How could she love a man who didn’t believe in her?
“You don’t have to tell me, Judith.” Andrew stepped onto the trail. “We all should get back.”
“Her imaginary man told her Samuel would walk.” Levi chuckled.
Andrew’s abrupt stop caused Judith to plow into him. His hand reached out to steady her balance. “Don’t laugh at Samuel’s condition,” he replied before turning and trudging toward the house.
“Hey, Andrew.” Levi waited for him to turn. “Catch.” He tossed the flashlight to Andrew. Judith started to follow, but Levi reached for her arm and held her back. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t laughing about Samuel’s paralysis.”
She looked at the trail and watched the beam of light grow faint as Andrew moved farther away from them. “I know you didn’t intend to be mean-spirited.” She glanced again to check Andrew’s distance. “But why did you try to make me look foolish? I just saw the Englischer again. Only—”
“Only what?”
“He’s an angel.”
“Ach, nett so.”
Judith pushed past him.
“You spent time with a man at the river?” Levi grabbed her arm and stopped her. “Answer me.”
“Why?” She jerked her arm away. “You wouldn’t believe me anyway.”
“So this is your choice? You want to spend time with another man?”
Judith walked away. Levi had no idea what she wanted. She wanted to marry him. She wanted a houseful of children. She wanted to grow old in her community surrounded by her church family. She wanted him to believe her.
She couldn’t answer his questions with the knot that formed in her throat. She increased her pace. Up ahead, Andrew stopped and pointed the light at the ground, illuminating the path’s ruts from the tree roots.
Levi was right behind her and blew out a breath. “I’m still waiting to hear your choice.”
“It’s late. I don’t want everyone to worry.” She also didn’t want to defend herself to him anymore.
Levi looked at Andrew. “Nau she thinks about that.”
Andrew redirected the beam on the path. “She’s right. It’s late, and we have chores in the morning.”
Judith whispered, “Denki,” under her breath. If Andrew heard, he didn’t reply. He continued on the path home.
Once they rounded the back side of the barn, others circled her with lanterns lifted to get a good view of her face.
David moved forward. “Where were you, Judith?”
Andrew stepped between them. “She was lost. I found her in the woods.”
“Humph.” Levi stared at Andrew. “That isn’t what she told me.”
They all turned their eyes to Judith. Andrew’s face held the only welcoming expression, but she didn’t dare use him for support. She couldn’t burden him with her problems.
Levi nudged her arm. “Tell them, Judith.”
She looked over her shoulder, her stomach churning. Even the bishop had come to search for her.
God, if the angel was from You, please help me. I believe You sent him, but they won’t.
Her father came forward. “Your mamm would worry sick if she knew about this.”
“I’m sorry.” Judith sidestepped toward Levi.
“What were you doing?”
Reflections from the lantern’s tongued flame flickered across the ground. Whatever she said they would refuse to believe.
“Is this about Samuel walking again?” her father ask
ed.
Lord, I need Your strength. Guide my tongue.
“I believe he will,” she whispered.
“She said she heard that from God,” David added. “God spoke to her.”
Judith closed her eyes as the crowd gasped.
Bishop Lapp stepped forward. “Child, do you know what that statement implies?”
Judith kept her focus on her shoes. She’d heard that people in cults sometimes claimed they heard from God. Surely they wouldn’t think she would join a cult or that she’d want to stray from the church. She loved God with her whole heart.
“Answer the bishop,” her father demanded.
Judith bit her lip. “I spoke with an angel.”
Her father leaned forward. “No one heard your mumbling. Say it louder.”
She lifted her head. Her eyes darted from the bishop to her father to David, then settled on Levi. “I have faith that Samuel will walk. I was told that . . . he would.”
“We muscht accept Samuel’s outcome.” The bishop paused. “It is what God has decided.”
“God’s decision is for him to walk.” Judith regretted her words the moment she spoke. She should have guarded her mouth.
“You do not think like God thinks. To talk as though you have the power is blasphemy,” declared the bishop.
Her father drew in a sharp breath and clutched his chest. He made a high-pitched wheeze, and Judith moved to his side. As he gasped for air, anger rose up in her chest. Her father hadn’t had a breathing attack in months.
Why now, God?
“I’ll be . . .” His breathing ragged, he leaned on David for support.
“Amos, would you help him back to the house?” David turned to Judith. “Daed doesn’t need any more stress, ain’t it so?”
She swallowed hard.
Her brother pointed toward the barn. “Wait for me in there. You and I will talk after the bishop and I finish speaking.”
Judith walked with her head lowered. She didn’t want to look anyone in the eye, especially Levi. Speaking out of turn to the bishop, she had shamed herself and her family. Entering the dark barn, she didn’t bother to light a lantern. Somehow, the darkness felt comforting. Levi had told her to choose. After his public accusations, she understood. He had chosen for her. He would never marry her now.
Andrew pondered what gave Judith the nerve to speak up against everyone, including his father. She’d never planted discord and had always been compliant with the Ordnung, even content. She hadn’t allowed him to cover for her whereabouts, and now she was at the hand of her brother. Where had her courage come from, if not from the Lord?
“Something about her has changed.” Levi broke the silence.
Andrew turned from watching Judith walk to the barn to see Levi shaking his head. If anyone understood Judith, it should be Levi. Yet he seemed annoyed and impatient with her stressful family situation, rather than sympathetic.
Levi turned toward his buggy. Andrew walked alongside him.
“Why did you do that to her?” Andrew tried to mask his irritation, but Levi’s smug attitude made him angry. He offered up a quick silent prayer for wisdom, then continued. “She deserves more from you.”
“People need to know how sick her mind has become. I was planning to marry her.” Levi motioned toward the barn. “But even if David was to whip her, it wouldn’t change her mind.”
“David said he planned to talk with her, not lash her.”
“Jah, so he said. How much gut talk will do, I don’t know.” Levi’s shoulders dropped. “Why was Judith the only one to see an Englischer the day Samuel fell off the roof?”
Andrew shook his head. He hadn’t seen a stranger, but he had seen Judith run off into the pasture and head toward the apple orchard. He looked at Levi, but in the darkness he couldn’t read his expression. Maybe his cousin was actually worried about Judith. There was no telling. But Andrew decided not to reveal how he’d seen Judith running off that day. Levi had caused enough heartache. Andrew wouldn’t give him ammunition to hurt Judith more.
Levi’s eyes narrowed. “If she’s running around with an Englischer, I don’t want to be made a fool.”
Andrew looked over his shoulder. His father and the others had walked to their buggies. “My daed is waiting. I need to leave.”
Andrew headed toward his father’s buggy, remembering how frightened Judith had been in his arms. Lord, please give David wisdom when he talks with Judith. If what she claims is true, let him see with his own eyes.
Andrew hurried to his father’s buggy and placed his hand on his father’s coat. “I believe her,” he said, loudly enough to cause David to glance in his direction.
The bishop steadied his hand on Andrew’s shoulder. “What are you saying?”
What was he saying? Did he truly believe her?
“Tell David to geh easy with Judith. Please, Father. David will listen to you.”
“What’s this about my sister, Andrew? What do you know?” David had come closer, arms still crossed.
“I believe her.” He turned from David to his father. “Why is everyone so willing to believe a doctor’s report? Is he not a man who bases his judgment on man-made machines?” Not seeing any response from his father, Andrew turned to David. “You want to discipline her for having faith. What if what she says is true? Our duty is to pray for her.”
“Andrew, watch your tone,” his father warned.
He drew a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to sound disrespectful.”
David patted Andrew’s shoulder. “Because Ich sent her to the barn, you think I’ll punish mei sister?” He shook his head. “Ich plan to talk to her, is all.” He looked at the house and then back to Andrew. “My daed has a weak heart and his breathing is poor. Ich don’t want him hearing what Ich say to Judith. She needs direction is all, jah?”
“Jah, and prayer too.” Andrew looked toward the barn. He wished he had a few minutes alone with Judith to gain her trust.
The bishop heaved a long breath. “It is late, Andrew. Let’s be on our way.”
Andrew placed his foot on the buggy step and paused. “I’ll help Levi with your father’s farm meiya.”
David nodded, then headed toward the barn.
Andrew noticed his father’s stern expression as the bishop flicked the reins. Despite his father’s disapproval of his speaking out, Andrew couldn’t leave without suggesting they pray for Judith. What if what she claimed was true?
Chapter Eight
Andrew anticipated his father’s lecture would start once they were out of the Fischers’ driveway, but they hadn’t even passed the mailbox before he began.
“Don’t ever do that again.” His father kept his voice low and his eyes focused straight ahead.
“Judith is—” Innocent . . . frightened. He could describe her in so many ways, but none of them would satisfy his father now.
“She’s trouble. I’ve never heard a child, and a female at that, speak to her elders with such blatant disregard. Others might become like her.”
Andrew bit his tongue. Even at twenty-two years of age, he knew not to argue with his father when he was speaking as the bishop. Tonight he had overstepped his bounds.
But he’d had to. Someone needed to defend Judith. “She loves God.”
The idea of an angel did seem extreme, but Judith’s conviction to stand against her family and community overpowered Andrew’s initial disbelief.
“She’s given the enemy rein to control her mind. Word came back to me that she’s corrupting the children with lies about colorful dresses and flowers.” His father slapped the reins.
“Those were make-believe stories. Told to entertain, not to harm.”
“That’s teaching vanity. It’s a sin.”
Andrew couldn’t disagree with that statement. Vanity was part of the world they had chosen to be separated from. Still, Judith’s humility was in solemn accordance with the Ordnung. Until her brother’s accident, her stories had been considered harmless, not re
bellious.
He shifted on the buggy seat as an image of Martha flashed across his mind. Now there was a girl who had become vain. Look at the way she had draped herself by Levi after the barn was built and again in the hospital. That girl must have found a mirror somewhere, because she was self-absorbed in her own beauty.
Judith, on the other hand, hadn’t a clue of her own loveliness.
“She’s not a girl for you to think about,” his father said, interrupting his thoughts.
“I feel sorry for Judith.”
“You’ve been baptized into the church. You muscht live according to the commitment and rules of the faith.”
Andrew wanted to remind his father that Judith was currently attending the Dordrecht Confession classes and soon would be eligible for baptism herself. He kept his comment to himself, however, in fear that his father would remove her from the classes.
His father directed the horse into their drive. “She’s brought condemnation upon herself.”
Andrew swallowed hard, remembering that he had given Samuel that nail. His conscience pricked at him for the part he had played in what happened to Judith and Samuel.
“Whoa.”
Patsy stopped in front of the house, and his father handed Andrew the reins.
“Tend to the horse, son. It’s been a long day for me.”
Grateful his father didn’t want to continue the discussion, Andrew waited for him to step out of the buggy before directing Patsy to the barn.
Andrew unbuckled the harness, his mind still lingering over thoughts of Judith. He remembered how she had trembled in his arms. He wished more than anything that he could calm her fears. She might have gone to the river to hide, but something had caused her to become frightened.
Andrew slid the harness off the horse and walked it to the stud peg. The day Samuel fell, Judith had acted strangely, scanning the crowd as though looking for someone. He should have followed her into the apple orchard.
Andrew grabbed the horse’s halter and led the mare into the paddock. If given the opportunity, he planned to find out more.
Humiliation clawed at Judith. She trusted Levi, and he had publicly abased her, causing the entire community to turn on her without giving heed to her claims. Maybe if she told them about the dream. But she couldn’t explain the significance of seeing three roads. How could she expect anyone to believe she woke up knowing she would have to choose a path? Levi wanted her to choose between him and the angel . . . too many choices.