A SEAL's Pleasure

by Tawny Weber

  “Not with a guy like that. He wasn’t gonna stop.”

  Martin’s nod echoed Scavenger’s words.

  “Look, the mission date wasn’t changed because of anything you did. That’s just how it goes down. You know that,” Scavenger said, his expression fierce. “And Irish choosing to go? You think he was going to trust this mission to anyone else after he realized what Jeglinski had been doing? He’s got to safeguard the team. That’s his job.”

  A job he wouldn’t have had to do if Gabriel had handled things right. He didn’t say that, though. He knew they weren’t going to hear him. That was what team loyalty was all about. One man covering the other’s ass.

  “It is what it is,” he said instead.

  “Damned right it is,” Martin said, slapping him on the back. “And what it is, is a win. Jackrabbit was bragging but you showed him. He’s off the team, and when word gets back that you won the bet by hooking up with the gorgeous brunette, he’s gonna curl up in a corner and cry like a baby.” Martin’s usually affable face turned to stone. “Small payment for trying to incapacitate you and ruining Irish’s honeymoon, I say.”

  “Back off, Martin,” Scavenger said quietly. “Just let it go.”

  “Let it go? No way, man. Romeo here is the king. He deserves to be honored, man. He took Jackrabbit down like a hunter bags his prey.” The other man’s face turned sly. “And what better reward than a sexy brunette who writes how-tos for sex games, right?”

  “Actually, I write how-tos for flirting, but I suppose those are sex games in a way.”

  Gabriel figured it was a testament to how off-kilter he was that he hadn’t sensed Tessa’s approach. But it was almost worth being busted to see the look of shamed horror pour over Martin’s face. His cheeks turned red, his lips went white and he hung his head so low Gabriel was surprised he wasn’t looking backward through his belly button.

  “Sorry, ma’am,” Martin muttered, edging around her and scurrying away with impressive haste for a man his size.

  A wicked smile played over her lips as Tessa watched him go. Then she looked back at Gabriel with one brow arched and a hint of anger in her eyes.

  Scavenger glanced from one of them to the other, then mumbled an excuse and faded away.

  Had she overheard? How much? A part of him hoped she’d heard enough to get seriously pissed, to realize that he was to blame for ruining Livi and Mitch’s wedding. If she got pissed, she’d pick a fight, rightfully chew him out. Then he could simply walk away.

  But that would be cowardly. And Gabriel hadn’t been raised to be a coward.

  Instead, he stood at ease and waited for the fallout.

  “Have you been avoiding me?” The question wasn’t the fallout he’d expected, though.

  He frowned.

  “Avoiding you? Why would I do that?”

  “That’s what I was wondering.”

  With her hair pulled back into a high ponytail and curls sweeping over one bare shoulder, she reminded him of a mythical goddess. Gold bracelets bracketed her from biceps to wrist, jewels sweeping her cheeks. The lack of sleep—and he knew she hadn’t had any because she’d been working her ass off all night—didn’t show.

  She was damn near irresistible.

  Good thing he was trained to do the impossible.

  “Just watching the show,” he said, using his chin to indicate the party going on behind her. “You did a good job.”

  She tossed a frown over her shoulder.

  “Maybe. Everything happened so fast, I haven’t had a chance to talk to Livi. I hope she’s happy with it.”

  “Why wouldn’t she be?”

  “Ask the mother of the bride.”

  “Yeah, she’s pretty messed up.” Remembering the pale-faced, heavy-eyed woman who’d left the celebration early, Gabriel grimaced. “Is she really twisted that you changed things?”

  “It could be the results of cheap rum.” Tessa wrinkled her nose. “But I’m sure when the hangover wears off, she’ll be ready to kick my butt.”

  “You saved her daughter’s wedding. She’d do better to be kissing your butt.”

  “Now, there’s an image I didn’t need.” Tessa’s laugh faded as fast as it had come and she gave him a long, searching look.

  “Was what they said true?” she asked quietly. “Is it because you reported some moron that Mitch had to take over the mission? Is that why the wedding had to be changed?”

  Yep.

  But claiming that aloud would only piss off Irish, so Gabriel shrugged instead.

  Her eyes hardened into blue ice.

  “And the rest?”

  “The rest of what?” he asked, stalling. His gut clenched with misery. He knew what he had to do. But damn, this wasn’t easy.

  “Did you bet on our having sex?” she asked baldly, the words dripping icicles. “Was our entire relationship, everything that happened, based on some macho game?”

  Ignoring the tension ratcheting through his body, Gabriel kept his expression mellow and easy. He knew Tessa.

  He knew how to play her.

  He’d figured out how to reel her in, so it was a given that he knew how to push her away.

  Instead of telling her the truth—that he’d never paid any attention to Jackrabbit’s dumb-ass challenge to begin with—or trying to smooth things over, he offered a half smile and a shrug.

  “C’mon, angel. You know I can never resist a challenge.”

  He felt lower than a slug when her eyes flashed with pain. But he steeled himself to ignore it. He wouldn’t demean her intelligence, even in his own mind by claiming that this was for her own good.

  But it was better for both of them to end things now.

  He had a path to walk, one he’d set in place years ago. A path he’d vowed to walk alone. He’d already screwed up enough things by ignoring his vows. He wasn’t going to screw up Tessa’s life.

  “So you’re claiming that you actually bet on getting me into bed?” A hint of pain beneath the ice, Tessa gave him an arch look. “Didn’t I offer you hot sex at the engagement party?”

  Damn. Gabriel almost frowned but caught himself.

  “Like I said, I can’t resist a challenge.”

  She didn’t move. She barely blinked. But he could see her reel back as though she’d been slapped. She shook her head, as if trying to deny his claim.

  “Ask any of the team,” he suggested quietly. “They’ll tell you.”

  Her gaze shifted around the room as if she were debating which one to ask. Not doubting for a second that she’d take the question to every single one of them, Gabriel squared his shoulders. He didn’t want this to get ugly. One of the things he’d always prided himself on was that no relationship he’d ever been in had ended in anger.

  Then again, he was pretty sure this was his first actual relationship. So there went his pride.

  Gabriel scowled when shouts and applause filled the room, then he realized it wasn’t over his downfall. He flicked a glance over Tessa’s shoulder.

  “Looks as if the bride and groom are saying their goodbyes.” He paused, then forced the words out. “I’ve got to report to base, so I’ll say mine now, too.”

  Her eyes rounded, her quick intake of breath catching before she managed to exhale. He felt about as low as a slug and knew he deserved to be squashed like one.

  He waited for the recriminations. He wouldn’t blame her if she hauled off and slapped him. He deserved anything and everything she shot his way.

  But Tessa never went the typical route.

  “Well, I guess we’re through, then,” she said with a brittle smile. “I’m off to say goodbye to Livi. And you’re off to the rest of your life. Good luck with that.”

  She gave a toss of her hair, turned and sauntered away witho
ut another look.

  Gabriel watched her go. It took every bit of strength he had not to call her back.

  His grandfather, in all his wisdom, had never promised that walking the right path would be easy. But he’d never indicated that it’d be hard enough to make Gabriel believe that hearts could actually break.

  13

  MENTAL-HEALTH DAYS were for indulging. They were for curling up in jammies, huddling under a blanket with cocoa and pretending the rest of the world didn’t exist. That Tessa had been doing the same thing every day since last Tuesday, when she’d fled Catalina, was beside the point.

  Mental-health days weren’t for having to haul her stiff body off the couch while wearing her rattiest pajamas—granted, they were only deemed ratty because they weren’t silk—with her hair blown out and her face puffy from a five-day crying binge.

  But some stubborn pain in the neck kept leaning on her doorbell, leaving Tessa no choice. She peered through the peephole, then closed her swollen eyes and groaned.

  She didn’t want to do this. She really didn’t.

  But she knew she had no choice.

  So with a deep breath, and a bright fake smile, she opened the door.

  “You forgot this.” Not waiting for a greeting, Livi lifted a small box, the pretty purple foil glinting in the light as she strode into the apartment. “Your maid-of-honor gift.”

  “Aren’t you supposed to be reveling in the glow of your honeymoon?” Tessa asked, letting the door shut with a bang. “Not delivering packages?”

  “Believe it or not, I’m perfectly capable of handling more than one thing at a time.”

  Uh-oh. Tessa knew that tone. It was Livi’s rarely heard gonna-kick-some-butt tone. Figuring it was the safest route, Tessa planted her own butt on the relative safety of the couch.

  “I never said otherwise,” she pointed out once she was settled.

  “No? Then maybe you can fill me in on why you shut me out.” Tossing the gift aside with enough force that Tessa seriously hoped it wasn’t breakable, Livi started pacing the room.

  “I didn’t shut you out.” Exactly. “You had so much going on, I simply chose not to add to your stress level.”

  “But see, here’s the thing,” Livi said in a tone riddled with hurt. “You were so busy not stressing me out that you forgot that you’re supposed to be my friend.”

  “Why would I worry about your stress if I wasn’t your friend?” Tessa snapped, suddenly furious. For months she’d kept her mouth shut, tried to be supportive. And this was what she got for it?

  “I don’t know what that was,” Livi said with a shrug, her expression just as angry as Tessa’s. “All I know is that it belittled our years of real friendship, mocked what we’re supposed to be to each other.”

  Her jaw sinking to her chest, Tessa muttered, “Why don’t you just kick me in the face? It’d be easier to take.”

  “How do you think I feel?” Livi demanded, throwing her hands in the air. “Do you think I like hearing big news from other people? You’d think after all these years you’d care enough to tell me yourself.”

  Big news?

  What was she talking about? Tessa would usually pace at this point but she was afraid if she got off the couch she’d be mowed down.

  “Wait.” One hand rubbing the throbbing pain between her eyebrows, Tessa lifted her other hand in the air. “This isn’t about your wedding?”

  “My wedding? Why would I be upset about that?” The confusion in her eyes didn’t lighten Livi’s scowl.

  “Because I didn’t speak up more? Because I let Pauline run roughshod all over you instead of letting you have the wedding you wanted?” Tessa puffed out a breath and let her hands fall to her lap. “Because I jumped in with both feet, rearranged your entire ceremony and ended up doing the exact same thing as Pauline, only worse because I didn’t even tell you while I was doing it.”

  Midrecital of all Tessa’s crimes, Livi stopped pacing. She stood in the middle of the living room, her hands planted on her hips and her expression shifting from confused to irritated and then on to angry.

  “Why the hell wouldn’t you tell me any of that?” Livi demanded, towering over her like an avenging Valkyrie. She was almost a foot taller than Tessa to start with and built like a chiseled statue, but it was the rounded belly poking out at her that held the strongest intimidation factor.

  Angling her chin at a stubborn angle helped avoid looking at the accusing baby bump and let Tessa offer her haughtiest stare.

  “Every time I tried, you said you were fine with Pauline’s tyranny, remember? Added to that, stress could endanger your pregnancy. Besides, you really didn’t seem to want my involvement since every single thing I had anything to do with you ended up changing.”

  Whether it was the stare or the mention of her pregnancy, Tessa didn’t know. But the anger drained from Livi’s face.

  “You didn’t seem that interested,” the blonde murmured, dropping to the couch. She pushed one hand through her hair, then shifted to tuck one foot under her so she could angle her body toward Tessa. “Or maybe I was just so busy trying to keep from going crazy that I didn’t pay attention.”

  With anyone else, Tessa would toss off a smart-ass remark, something cutting that echoed the hurt she felt. She pressed her lips tight, but couldn’t hold on to enough anger to even glare. After all, this was Livi.

  But without the anger, all that was left was the hurt.

  Still pressing her lips tight, now to keep them from trembling, she took a deep breath while trying to figure out how to explain without adding any more pain to her friend’s face.

  “I didn’t want to upset you,” she admitted quietly. “You already had one person nagging at you. I figured another was more than you or the baby needed.”

  “And?” Livi prompted, the stubborn look on her face making it clear that she wanted it all.

  Tessa sighed and gave it to her as gently as she could.

  “You were busy planning to be a wife and mother. You changed Stripped Down Fitness to a workout style that I don’t fit into. You’re starting a new life that I don’t seem to have a place in.” Hating the hurt she could see her words causing, Tessa bit her lip before forcing herself to continue. “So much was going on. And I was—I am—thrilled for you. But I felt as if I was losing your friendship.”

  “I don’t understand how that’s possible.” Livi shook her head, her face both perplexed and hurt. “We’ve been friends our entire adult lives. We work together. We play together. We were friends through my first wedding, lousy marriage and nasty divorce. Why wouldn’t we stay friends through my happy marriage, morning sickness and motherhood?”

  Tessa had no answer to that, so she settled on a shrug.

  “If you weren’t upset about the wedding stuff, what did you come here to bitch me out about?” she asked. Had Livi found out that Gabriel had dumped her?

  “Your job.”

  Oh.

  “Maeve stopped by this morning,” Livi continued, her fingers tapping an aggravated beat on the arm of the couch. “Imagine my surprise when, along with the clever music box she brought for the baby, she shared her worry over your holing up here in your apartment.”

  That sank into Tessa’s belly with a greasy thud.

  “I guess I didn’t say much about what was going on with Flirtatious,” she admitted. Before she could offer up an excuse, Livi growled like a rabid mother bear.

  “Much?” Livi repeated, showing that for all her sweet demeanor, she could do smart-ass with the best of them. “You mean much, like the fact that you sold your company? Much, like letting me in on how upset you must have been to give up something you’ve spent years building? Or maybe sharing what you’re going to do next?”

  “I should have told you,” Tessa said with a wince.
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  “You should have trusted me,” Livi amended.

  “Trusted you? How do you figure that?”

  “If you trusted me, you’d have faith in me. Not just in my being capable of juggling wedding drama, but in my being strong enough to listen to your worries without falling apart. You’d trust me to be your sounding board while you worked out your job issues and you’d know I’d have your back if you ran into trouble.” Each word grew sharper until Livi’s tone cut like a knife. “That’s what trust is.”

  “I trust you,” Tessa protested. “I was simply protecting you. That’s what friends do, isn’t it?”

  “No,” Livi said, her expression not softening an iota. “You were protecting you. Why?”

  Tessa knew her bottom lip was drooping, but she couldn’t help it. There was nothing pretty about having the truth rubbed in her face.

  “I didn’t want you to know what a fraud I was,” she finally admitted, the words tearing out of her in a painful rush. “I’m supposed to be so savvy and clever, with my finger on the pulse of all things sexy. But I haven’t been to a club in months. I’m so bored with the singles scene. I used to love writing and now I have to bribe myself with the promise of new shoes to meet each deadline.”

  “Tessa, you’ve been doing this for a long time. You’re bound to burn out on it.”

  “Do you ever burn out on fitness?”

  “I would if I did the same workout all the time.” Livi rubbed her hand over Tessa’s knee. “Look, I know what you do is more than a job, it’s how you define yourself. I do that, too. But if you’re going to use that as a yardstick, you need to count the good stuff and not just the bad. You’re damned good at what you do and you’ve built an excellent reputation doing it.”

  “It wasn’t just my job I felt like a fraud at,” she admitted, barely above a whisper, as she looked at her hands.

  “You’re not going to spout some crazy idea about feeling as if you weren’t a good friend again, are you?” Livi asked, that sharp edge in her tone once more. “Because if you do I’m going to have to claim that I’m a selfish one since I was too self-absorbed to realize everything you were going through. And you don’t want to make me admit that. I’ll feel bad and probably give the baby wrinkles.”