by Chandra Ryan
Shemeek stood at the invitation and, using a ladle, fished an egg out of the water. “Would you like one?” she asked, turning to Sara.
“Please.” Sara wasn’t sure what to think of the new found camaraderie, especially since it was founded on a lie, but figured it was better than starting out as rivals.
“Tell me, Sara, what is it that the king wants with a…servant?” Kemah’s gaze skated to Kavin as he asked the question, leaving Sara with the impression that the king’s judgment wasn’t the only one being questioned.
“Kemah.” Kavin’s tone was threatening enough to make Shemeek tense next to her. “It’s not your place to question the king’s decisions. Or mine.”
Kemah turned a bright pink as he glared at her as if it was somehow her fault. But it wasn’t and she’d be damned if she was going to let him think it was. “My suggestion,” Sara offered, her voice syrupy sweet, “the next time you want to issue a challenge, just come out with it. Politely veiled innuendo takes intelligence and wit. You, I’m afraid, are lacking in both.”
His glare turned into a full scowl, but Shemeek smiled with approval.
“So, what’s the plan after Livingston?” Ignoring Kemah, Sara busied herself with peeling the egg as she asked the question.
Although it wasn’t directed at anyone in particular, Kavin answered. “There’ll be a couple nights at other keeps on the way to King’s Keep, but mainly we’ll be camping.”
She took a bite of the perfectly cooked egg and nodded. Camping wasn’t so bad. Probably wouldn’t be getting fresh eggs again after Livingston, though. Shoving the rest of it in her mouth, she eyed the last egg wistfully. It was Jar’s so there was no point in mooning over it, but she was still hungry.
Her battle of wills with the uneaten egg didn’t last long, though. Unable to look at it any longer, she forced herself to stand. “I’m going to take my tent down.” She didn’t know if the announcement was for the others or for herself, but it was nice to break the silence.
“Would you like help?” Kavin asked.
She didn’t even look back as she set off across the small camp. “No. I can manage this on my own.”
Staring at her tent, she was certain that this was a task she could handle. And if she was going to find her way in this new life, not to mention finding a place on Kavin’s team, she was going to have to prove she could carry her own weight.
It was hard to start over. It was impossible, though, when people refused to see you as anything but what you used to be. And right now she didn’t know which was worse, Kavin and Jar, who saw her as the Lady Raven, or Kemah and Shemeek, who saw her as a pitiful servant.
Nimbly, she disassembled the shelter, taking extra care of the sharp stakes. She’d just folded the canvas and stowed her blankets when the warm static of Kavin’s thoughts brushed up against hers, alerting her to his nearness. Pushing them away before the temptation of listening to them took hold, she finished packing her gear, doing her best to pretend not to notice him. She’d taken great liberties pretending their late night visit was more that it had been and now she had no idea what to say to him.
“You ready?” he asked, picking up her satchel and gear.
“Yes.” She considered taking the bags from him, but decided to let him lug them around. They were heavy and she didn’t feel the need to fight him for the honor of carrying them.
“Look, I’m sorry about—”
“Your men thinking I’m sharing your bed?”
“Yes.”
His apology only added to her confusion. Refusing to shy away from his gaze, she said, “I know I’m not exactly your type, but I didn’t realize you’d be sorry if people believed we were—”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass who they think I’m bedding.” He put down the gear as he stopped to look at her. “But I don’t want your reputation to be tarnished because of a poor judgment call on my part.”
“My reputation? I’m the lady of ruin—I’ve been betrothed and publicly dumped on my royal ass, and I’ve spent the last six years as a servant. Do you really think a little tryst with you is going to hurt my reputation?” She laughed at the truth of the statement. “If anything, it adds another exciting chapter in the adventure that is my life.” Of all the things that could be said, the name Saraphina Raven would probably never be spoken in the same sentence as the word boring. “I’ll be fine, Kavin.”
“A little tryst?” The mischievous sparkle in his eyes made the stomach flutter. He always got that look right before he turned her world upside down—literally, if they were in the middle of a close-combat lesson. Thankfully, they weren’t.
“I’m assuming it’ll be over before it’s begun.” She hoped the quip sounded witty and full of self-confidence, but somehow she doubted she had pulled it off.
“It may be short-lived, but I don’t do anything little.” He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him.
Was he going to kiss her or was he just teasing? She could wait and find out. But since patience had never been her strong suit, she stretched in his arms, bringing her body closer to his. “Then let’s do this big.” Had she really just said that? It popped into her mind and then out of her mouth before she could think better of it.
It seemed to take Kavin by surprise too. Cocking his head to one side, he studied her for a moment. And then he smiled. It was a roguish smile she’d never seen before. But she liked it. “Let’s.”
Before the word had fully sunk in, his mouth was on hers. The kiss started out tentative—more of a question than a statement—but when she ran her fingers through his hair it changed. One hand moved to the small of her back and pressed her body to his as the other moved higher to cradle her shoulders as he deepened the kiss.
She wanted to feel every inch of his body on hers. He was solid, strong and she wanted more. But it wasn’t to be. He was already pulling away from her and, even though she wanted to cling to him, she let him go.
“Was that big enough for you?” His voice was teasing, but his eyes sparkled with what she hoped was desire.
“It’ll do—for now.” She was surprised at how collected the answer sounded, given the effect the kiss had on her. It left her heart racing and her head spinning with aching hunger.
He studied her for a moment longer before shaking his head. “You really have changed.”
“So good of you to notice.” She smiled playfully before walking off. The others were still openly gawking at them, but she didn’t let it bother her. Instead, she winked at Kemah and went to saddle Kavin’s horse.
“Saddle up, everyone.” Though he issued the command to the entire group, his eyes never left her as he walked over to stand next to her. There was a delicious warmth in his gaze that she found captivating. “It’s going to be a long day. But it’ll be worth it when we reach Keep Livingston.”
With everything packed and ready, Kavin mounted his horse and then held his hand out to here. “We’ll get you a horse from their stable, but we’ll have to ride together until then.”
Taking his hand, she let him help her into his lap. “There are worse fates, I suppose.” Not able to help herself, she rubbed her bottom against his hips teasingly.
“Make sure you know what your body is promising, Sara,” he whispered in her ear. “Not all guards will wait for your words to match it.”
The warning stole some of her bravado. Would her words match? It was fun to flirt with him. And she liked the way his arms felt wrapped around her. But was that enough? She had the sinking feeling that it was going to take more, especially with her bad luck where relationships were concerned.
They started off to the woods in pairs, but this time it was Shemeek who chose to ride next to Kavin and her in front while Jar rode next to Kemah a pace behind them. And, though she was glad to have found a new friend, the woman wasn’t shy.
“So, how is it that you know Jar and Kavin?”
“Oh, us? We knew each other years ago.”
“
Really? How?” She paused to take a breath, causing her nose to wrinkle in distaste. “And dear gods, what is that smell?”
Without thought, Sara took a deep breath and almost gagged on the acidic sweet smell of decay. Under normal circumstances, it wouldn’t be an overwhelming stench, just a nagging one that tickled one’s senses. But when she’d filled her lungs with it, it left her eyes burning and her stomach queasy.
“That,” Jar answered, “is the smell of magic. Isn’t it lovely?”
And it was that exact sentiment that made it necessary to keep her magic, the magic every royal possessed, a secret. Stifling a sigh, she looked over at Jar. She longed to argue with him. To point out that it wasn’t the magic, but what one did with it that mattered. But she would only be opening herself to questions she couldn’t answer. And nothing she could say would change his mind.
She wasn’t the only one who disagreed with Jar, however. And Kemah didn’t bother to hide his sigh.
“Magic?” Kemah’s voice was filled with outright disbelief.
“Yes, magic,” Jar answered.
“Nobody actually believes in that anymore,” Kemah shot back.
“I believe,” Shemeek argued. “I have seen it. In my country, at least.”
Kavin’s arm stiffened around Sara’s waist. “You’ve seen magic?”
“Yes,” Shemeek said. “It is not as common as it once was, but it is still there. The elders say it is left over from the days of the Great War.”
“As are these woods,” Jar said. “It was cursed during one of the major battles. No one knows by which side, though.”
“Surely the gods would not have done such a thing?” Shemeek’s brow furrowed in doubt.
“Between you and me, darling, I’m not certain the gods were exactly on our side.”
“Careful, Jar, some might call that blasphemous.” Kavin’s rebuke had a sarcastic tone to it that made Sara wonder if Kavin didn’t almost agree with their friend.
“If blasphemy was the greatest of my sins, I’d be a blessed man, my friend.”
Kavin’s chest vibrated against her back as he chuckled silently. “You and me both.”
“You do not believe in the gods?” Shemeek asked.
“I never said I didn’t believe in them,” Jar answered. “I’m just not certain they were as big a help as the clerics like us to believe.”
This seemed to bother Shemeek. “Really?”
A two-headed rat scurried by them, turning when he’d just cleared their path to hiss in their general direction. “Case in point,” Jar said.
But Shemeek shook her head. “You cannot blame that pathetic creature on the gods.”
“Maybe they didn’t create him, but their magic did,” Jar said.
“Please. If you ask me, it sounds like a lot of superstitious nonsense,” Kemah said. “My grandma had a cat that gave birth to a two-headed kitten once. Wasn’t magic, just a freak.”
“I do not believe anyone asked you,” Shemeek said sharply.
The group fell into a silence for a moment after the rebuke, but then Shemeek turned to Sara. “And what of you?”
“Me?” Sara asked.
“Yes. Do you believe in the gods and magic?”
She had to hand it to Jar’s friend. The woman wasn’t one for idle chit-chat to pass the time and she certainly didn’t hold back when it came to questions. “I believe there was a war and that it involved magic. Our kingdom is too scarred by it for it not to have happened. And yes, I believe the gods were real.” After all, if the royals hadn’t gotten their magic from the gods, where had it come from? “But, unlike my good friends, I do think the gods were—are—on our side. That they were trying to help us.” She looked over at Shemeek and smiled. “After all, they were able to unite our people. And I can’t see how that could be seen as a selfish motive.”
“Unite our people? Maybe three hundred years ago. I wouldn’t call what we have today unity,” Kemah said dryly.
Shemeek shook her head in disagreement. “No. There is no fighting today. We are getting along well.”
Kemah laughed bitterly at the statement. “Maybe there’s no fighting today. But there’s been fighting recent enough for some of us to still be grieving. Fighting recent enough for the peace to be an uneasy one, at best.” He was looking pointedly at Shemeek. “Any real hope of unity ended with the Great War.”
As much as Sara hated to admit it, it was the truth. When they’d had a common enemy, the two counties had fought together. But once the dragons were no longer a threat, lines had been drawn and redrawn—and fought over. Fathers, brothers and childhood friends had marched off under the king’s orders only to be sacrificed to abstract ideals like cultural identity and righteous superiority.
What made the fighting truly ironic, though, was that each death was used to fuel the hatred between the two countries. As that hatred grew, so did the outcry for blood. An outcry heard and answered by both sides.
“Okay, that’s enough. Both of you,” Kavin interjected. “You’re on the same side.”
It was an uncomfortable one, but at his command, they fell into a silence. Just because they’d stopped talking about it, however, didn’t mean they weren’t still thinking about it. At least, not judging from the glares being openly exchanged between Shemeek and Kemah. Just like their kingdoms, neither one seemed willing to let their grudge go.
Sara, on the other hand, was doing everything she could to not think about their skirmishes fought with their Rhuevian neighbors. Both sides had lost so much that neither could be a victor. Not in her estimation.
Returning her attention to the woods, Sara did her best to block out the angry whispers that buzzed around her and tried to focus on their surroundings. It was past noon. The sun was warming her a bit. And now that her nose had gotten used to the smell, she was beginning to feel more at ease. It was actually not a bad day, she had to grudgingly admit.
It’d be better if everyone would start talking again.
As much as she’d like for that to happen though, she wasn’t really expecting any change in the mood. And with little else to hold her attention, it wasn’t long before she found herself focused on Kavin and their fleeting kiss. Had she actually believed she knew what she was doing? Was it possible for her to be that naïve or had she jumped in head first, secretly hoping to be swept away?
She shook her head ruefully. Sure, Kavin was swept-away material. Her reaction to him had proved that much. But after she got swept away, what then? She had a hard time seeing him as a happily-ever-after kind of person. True, he didn’t have a reputation, not one she’d heard about anyway. But she wasn’t stupid. There’s no way he’d been chaste all these years. And she’d never even heard a rumor of a serious relationship, let alone one of engagement.
She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing as the absurdity of the thought hit her. Was she really debating his ability to commit? Truly, did she think that was why they would never be together? It was beyond ridiculous. Even if he was looking for forever, he wouldn’t be looking for it with her. He hadn’t been tempted by her when she could’ve given him anything his heart desired, what could she possibly offer him now?
Besides a kiss?
She smiled as her very traitorous mind supplied her with answers, all of them consisting of varying degrees of nakedness. But, as quickly as they came to her, she let them go. As fun as being naked with him would be, he’d never once suggested that naked was what he wanted.
One simple read and she’d know exactly what he wanted. But, unfortunately, she’d meant what she’d said. That would be a betrayal and she would not betray him. So she’d just have to be happy with a kiss.
And she could do that. It had been, after all, one hell of a kiss.
“You doing all right?” Kavin’s question snapped her back to the situation at hand.
“I’m fine.” If you didn’t count the flutter in her stomach that his voice caused. “A little stiff, but I’m sure I’ll feel better af
ter sleeping in a bed tonight.”
“Good, ’cause we’re almost there.” He nodded to the bluffs in front of them. “And fortunately, it looks like we’ll have some time to get ready for tonight.”
“Did you remember to pack dress blacks for her?” Shemeek asked, breaking her silence.
Kavin scoffed, but the crackle of nervous energy that surrounded him told her there was something to the question. “Of course.”
Shemeek just shrugged in his direction. “You act as if it would be without precedent.”
“Poor Zoe,” Jar lamented. “She still hasn’t lived that down.” He turned and looked at Sara before continuing. “Be glad he remembered this time. Trust me, no one lets you live down being presented in male garb.”
“How was I to know Keep Slate didn’t have female guards in residence at the time?” Kavin argued.
No female guards meant there’d be no stock of female garb at the keep. Their words would’ve painted a funny image had the thin wisps of dread not starting spreading out in Sara’s abdomen. “Presented?”
“This will be the first keep you visit after becoming a guard. You have to be presented,” Kavin answered.
She had been a royal. She had been to countless balls and feasts. And yes, she had sat to her father’s left during many a presentation as well. How had she forgotten such an important detail? “Presented, of course.”
It’d been her hope to pass through the keep undetected by the Livingstons. It was a possibility. Few lords and ladies kept track of every person passing through their gates. That was one of the functions of the guard, after all. She could’ve been long gone before they got the report she was ever there. But that wasn’t going to happen now. Straightening her shoulders, she prepared to meet this evening head on.
“Is there something we should know?” Jar asked.
“It’s nothing I’m sure.” Despite her attempt to keep her voice calm, there was a slight waver to it. “Probably just a lot of water under an abandoned bridge by now.”
“Would you like to talk about this bridge?” he pressed.