by Chandra Ryan
She looked straight ahead, not wanting to catch anyone’s eye. Not while remembering that day. “I didn’t exactly leave Keep Livingston under the best circumstances six years ago. Turns out I didn’t agree with the way they treated their help. I think I might have offended them by bringing it to their attention. Or maybe it was the manner in which I brought it to their attention. Royals can be so touchy about those things.”
“What happened, exactly?” Shemeek asked.
“It’s not important.” It was important enough to get her auctioned off to the highest bidder back then, but maybe things had changed.
“Sara?” Jar pried.
“It was taken care of,” she insisted as Kavin guided the horse expertly down the bluff. She wasn’t going to be able to keep this secret, not forever, but she needed a little more time to get the butterflies that had taken up residence in her stomach to settle down. She could only hope that Kavin would believe her over the lies and rumors when it all came out. Though she didn’t know what, if anything, Kavin had heard, some of the stories the Livingstons had spread after she left were bad. If Kavin believed them true…
Her stomach rolled with nervous energy and for one moment she feared she was actually going to be sick.
“At least you should tell us if you expect trouble, no?” Shemeek asked.
“I’m not sure.” It was an honest answer. As honest as she wanted to give them for now, at least. “But I’ve found it’s always a good idea to be prepared for anything.”
They had made it down the rocky hills and now all that was left was the gate to the city. Her heart raced as she looked ahead. One gate was all that separated her from her past. A gate she had to squint to look at. The damned thing was gem encrusted and, even open as it was, its glare was blinding her. “Some defense. What’s the point of having gates if you leave them open?” Sara asked to no one in particular.
“They might blind someone,” Kemah quipped.
Under any other circumstances she’d have laughed, but not here. “Gods, I hate these people,” she muttered as they stopped at the gate. But no one seemed to hear as they all went about their business.
Chapter Five
“What brings you to Keep Livingston?” one of the guards asked as he approached them.
“My men need a night of feast and rest. And we have a new guard to present.”
“The barracks will be expecting you then.” The guard nodded to another guard as he said the words. The gesture sent the younger man into a full sprint in the direction of the barracks. “Hope you have a good stay,” he said, allowing them entry into the city.
Sara forced herself to take a deep breath. Hearing the horse’s hooves echo on cobblestones made being back all too real. It had finally happened. She was in Livingston. Her stomach rolled again as she looked around at the freshly painted buildings.
Shemeek, however, was a picture of contentment. “Thank the gods. We’re back in civilization at last.”
“If you consider this civilization.” Sara hadn’t meant to say the words out loud, but somehow she had.
“Whatever your history is here, you cannot deny its comfort.”
“When I look around I see fancy stores and people of high standing. But I don’t find any comfort in either of those things.”
“I think you need to tell us about this water under the bridge.” Kavin’s suggestion sent a wave of dread though her. She wasn’t ready to talk about that time. Not in front of Shemeek and Kemah. They were too new to her. She didn’t know if she could trust them.
But a reassuring squeeze at her waist from Kavin helped to settle her nerves. “The guard’s more than a job. We’re a family, Sara.”
There was a truth in his words that refused to be ignored. If she expected them to let her into their lives, it was only fair to let them into hers—a little, at least.
“Besides,” he whispered into her ear, “it’d be awful if the gossip was the only side of the story they heard.”
“Okay,” she started. “The last time I was here, the Lord and Lady Livingston sold me off to a Rhuevian fur trader as a slave.”
“What?” It was Shemeek’s voice but, turning to study the rest of the group, Sara found the question on everyone’s face. Everyone except Kavin’s.
She guessed he’d heard at least that much of the story. With his connections it wasn’t that big of a surprise. Pushing away the embarrassment, she launched into the sordid tale as they made their way to the barracks.
“There was a servant at Livingston named Kally. She was quite beautiful, very sweet and also very married. One day I stumbled in on her and the lord apparent, Ashlyn, in a very compromising position.”
“Not unheard of.”
She probably could have overlooked Kemah’s comment if it weren’t for the pointed look he shot at her and Kavin.
“No, it’s not. And I would have turned around as if I hadn’t seen anything. Except, when she looked at me, there was fear in her eyes. I asked if everything was okay, but she didn’t answer. So I told her that the cook needed to see her immediately. She was so relieved. I knew I’d been right. But as she moved to step away from him, he caught and held her. He told me the cook’s needs could wait, but his couldn’t.”
She left out the bit about her being betrothed to Ashlyn at the time. She told herself it was so she wouldn’t have to tell them about her title, that she wanted them to accept her as an equal. But she wasn’t sure even she believed the reason to be the truth.
First Devin, then Ashlyn. Gods, she sure knew how to pick them.
“He wouldn’t let her go so—to make a long story short—I pulled a dagger, we fought, I won.”
“You won?” Kemah asked skeptically. “I would believe it if you’d snuck up on him and his back had been turned. But to actually fight and overpower him?”
“You would be surprised what someone can accomplish if she’s quick and her opponent’s pants are around his ankles.”
Kavin chucked softly. “That’s my girl.”
This time the words didn’t irritate her. She actually felt her cheeks warm from the blush that was spreading across them. “Royals shouldn’t be above the law,” she said quietly.
Jar eyed her cautiously as if he was weighing the truth of her story. “Now that’s something we can agree on.”
“Anyway, I was found guilty of attempted murder in the shortest trial on record.”
“And you were auctioned off because of this?” Shemeek pressed.
“Lady Livingston couldn’t execute me, only the king has that authority. But apparently, the lovely scar I left on Ashlyn’s neck upset her. I guess she thought if I just disappeared no one would be able to prove anything. And she would make a bit of gold.”
Shemeek’s look of disgust confirmed her as Sara’s new best friend. “How did you get out?”
“Some of the other servants smuggled me out in a trunk with old matted rugs.” Just remembering it made her throat close with fear and her heart race. Shaking off the phantom confinement, she took a deep breath. “After that I went to Lady Drake’s keep and I’ve been there ever since.”
“So I’m thinking this bridge probably isn’t as abandoned as you suggested.” Jar looked over at Kavin for agreement.
“Don’t worry. The king is well aware of the current political climate. We’re to keep a low profile until the feast tonight. Once you’ve been presented, the king has authorized me to make a generous endowment to the lord and lady to help improve morale.”
“So they get paid for having a rapist as a son and selling me into slavery?” Her words were barely above a growl.
“No. They get paid to ensure the king’s newest guard makes it to King’s Keep safely.” He rested a hand on her back in an apparent attempt to comfort her, but his voice held no compromise. She was expected to yield.
“As you wish,” she said through a clenched jaw.
“No. As the king wishes,” Kavin said decisively. But he wasn’t done. “And until they realize they
’re being paid for your safety, you’ll be under my constant supervision.”
Shemeek laughed loudly. “I’m sure you’re both very upset about that.”
Sara’s cheeks heated as the truth of the words sunk in. As irritated as she was with him right now, and as much as she hated to admit it, she wasn’t upset by the last stipulation at all. She was actually looking forward to spending more time with him, which only irritated her further.
Kavin stopped his horse in front of the barracks and lowered her to the ground before dismounting and handing the reins to the waiting stable boy. Turning to Shemeek, his voice was teasing as he said, “It’s a hell of a lot better than cleaning the tack and brushing down the horses, which is what you’ll be doing if you don’t mind that tongue of yours.”
Some of Sara’s irritation slipped away at the banter. He was a good leader. It was evident by the relationship he’d built with his team. And she shouldn’t fault him for following the king’s orders, that was his job—her job.
But it wasn’t until he wrapped an arm around her waist that the last flickers of annoyance shifted into the heat of desire.
His strength beckoned her, calling her to snuggle into his embrace. She couldn’t allow herself to give in to the temptation, though. As far as she knew this was an act for the benefit of the others. But that was hard for her to remember with him so close and holding her so invitingly. So instead of testing her will against his call, she tried to focus on the building they were going to stay the night in.
Stepping through the door, she was taken aback by the luxury of the divided foyer. One half the grand entrance was a marble staircase complete with a richly stained wood banister; the other was a purple-carpeted, door-lined corridor.
She had just craned her neck to get a better look down the corridor when Kavin turned his winning smile on her. “We’re upstairs.” Then, turning back to the others he said, “You know where you’re supposed to be. Get ready. We’ll meet back here at exactly six. Don’t be late.”
“Yes, sir.”
With that, the others left and Kavin took a step away from her. She’d been right. It was an act. Apparently he had taken her at her word that letting others believe they were involved wouldn’t hurt her. She just had to keep in mind that it wasn’t real. If she started believing the act it would be her heart, not her reputation, he destroyed. She hoped he couldn’t see the concern that filled her at the thought. But she’d never been good at hiding her feelings, especially from him.
He studied her face for a moment before gesturing toward the staircase. “Come on. We’ve got enough time to clean up and get changed, but only if we hurry.” Taking her hand in his, he started up the stairs.
His thumb brushed against her hand and brought back all of the desire she had so recently pushed away. Maybe he wasn’t just pretending in front of the others. This didn’t feel like pretend to her.
When they reached the top of the stairs, he paused for a second. “I’m just right over here.” He led her down another purple-carpeted hall that was identical to the one they had just left behind before stopping in front of a large wooden door with the king’s crest in its center. These quarters didn’t belong to just any guard.
“Kavin?”
“Yes?”
“Are you the King’s Right?” She couldn’t imagine any other explanation to the crest, but if he was the Right, he would have said something. He should have said something. King’s Right was more than an honorific; it was the highest rank in the guard. It was the right hand of the king. He answered to none but the crown.
He smiled and winked before turning the handle and pushing gently on it. “That I am.”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“It’s on my collar.” He pointed to the insignia pin dismissively.
“Did you really expect me to know what that pin meant?”
He smiled sheepishly. “No, you wouldn’t, would you? I guess it just didn’t seem important at the time. Is it?”
She considered it for a second. “People usually find it important, don’t they?”
“Only those who see the uniform and not the person wearing it,” he challenged.
She nodded softly. “You’re right. You’ll always be Kavin to me. I don’t think it’d matter if you were the king.”
“Bite your tongue. That’s not a fate one should wish on a friend,” he teased.
Stepping into the opulent suite, she was embarrassed to admit she was a little awe struck. “For the love of light, these are your rooms? I always pictured something—I don’t know—more sterile, more military like.”
“It’s a commander’s suite.” He looked around as if seeing it for the first time. “So rank may have some privileges.”
“I would say so.” She loved the floor-to-ceiling windows draped in thick silk and the massive bed with its velvet cover. Not to mention the adjoining sitting room that housed embroidered chairs, dark wood tables, and even a full-length mirror. Every piece was lavish and played a pivotal role in completing the luxurious feel of the rooms.
Kavin’s gaze, however, seemed to hone in on fireplace and the filled tub that was sitting in the middle of the room. “He wasn’t kidding when he said they’d be expecting me. The bath’s probably scented with sandalwood, but I think that should be acceptable under the circumstances.”
“For me?”
“Trust me, you need it more than I do.”
Her hand went to the wisps of hair that’d managed to escape the tight bun and she nearly melted in a puddle of self-loathing. “I guess you’re right. I must look a sight.”
“You look tired, nothing more.”
She smiled softly. Apparently she wasn’t the only one spouting lies around here. But since the mistruth was in her favor, she decided it was best not to call him on it.
“Here are your dress blacks.” The small bundle of material he pushed into her hands seemed insubstantial. “And just let me move this and you’ll be set.” He picked up the stretched-canvas changing screen and moved it in front of the waiting tub.
He seemed to be taking great pains not to touch her as he rushed around making the bath as private as possible. That, she decided, she was not to give him a pass on. If he wanted to pretend in front of the others, she could live with that. But there had been no pretending when he’d kissed her. And, as far as she knew, there’d been no one around to see him take her hand. She needed to know where they stood. Misunderstanding seemed to have a way of leading to hurt feelings. And she couldn’t bear the thought of hurt feelings standing between them. “What exactly is going on, Kavin?”
“I’m getting the bath ready for you.”
She couldn’t tell if he’d misunderstood her on purpose or if he really was that oblivious. “I meant between us. Are we pretending to be—” she felt the blush rise on her skin but she forced herself to say the word, “—lovers only to be friends behind closed doors? Or is there something actually going on between us?”
One of his brows quirked and his eyes had a mischievous shine to them. “Did you want there to be more going on between us? And before you answer, you need to know this job doesn’t allow for promises of tomorrow.”
It wasn’t said mockingly. He seemed completely sincere. But she still felt her entire face grow a shade hotter. “I’m not sure.”
He nodded. “Fair answer. When you decide, let me know. Until then, however, we should keep pretending to be lovers in public.”
“Why? We could stage an argument. Put an end to the pretending altogether and go back to living honest lives.” That way at least she wouldn’t have to worry about what was real and what wasn’t.
“No. The more access I have to you, the better I can protect you. And no one has more access than a lover.”
Damn. He had her there. But, unfortunately, acting like lovers was going to drive her crazy in no time. And she’d noticed that by leaving it up to her, he had avoided telling her what he wanted. If she was expected to make a
decision, a little insight from him would’ve been appreciated.
The temptation to use her gift was overwhelming and before she even realized she’d done it, her thoughts brushed against his. There was an undercurrent of desire there, but she mainly felt curiosity. And she wasn’t sure how she felt about that. “I should get cleaned up then.”
Stepping behind the screen, she stripped out of the soft leather before sinking into the warm water. An unbidden sigh of delight escaped her as she basked in the rich spiciness of the scented bubbles. It was such a pleasant experience to relax. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been able to.
A pang of guilt passed through her. She really shouldn’t be relaxing now. Not since she was currently in reach of the vengeful lord and lady.
“I don’t suppose there are any rumors floating around as to the nature of the Lord and Lady Livingston’s gifts, are there?” The Oracle and the king were the only two who were supposed to know what gift each person held, but there were always rumors whispered around the court.
“Don’t know about the lady, but the lord is the fourth generation of bastard in their line. I would be amazed if his blood was strong enough to manifest a gift at this point.”
That was interesting. “Really?” Her fingers absently traced the scar under her ribs. It had been given to her by the Lady Livingston’s own knife during the interrogations that followed her arrest. “No wonder they were so keen on me marrying into the line.”
“So you’ve finally decided to tell me?”
She blushed at being caught. “You knew.” He had to. It had been all the gossip at the time, what with it being so soon after Devin had rejected her.
“It’s different hearing it from you.”
“It’s not exactly a story I like telling.” That was an understatement. Grabbing a washcloth, she stretched one of her arms in front of her so she could scrub away the dust of the road.
“You were young and naïve.”
“And more than a little desperate,” she added as she switched arms.
“They took advantage.”
“That’s what royals do,” she said.