It's Bliss

by Alene Roberts

  Something important has come up.” He noted their surprise and curiosity.

  “There is a wealthy benefactor who has been donating to Fairfield University and now he has offered something new. He’s very interested in seeing women succeed in the business world, or in whatever vocation they choose, so he has asked me to hand out a questionnaire to this class. He and a selected committee are going to review the questionnaires that you fill out, discuss them, and choose eight. Then, out of the eight, they will carefully choose four. The committee will meet with these four students and inform them that they have the opportunity to be part of a new program. If these four choose to be part of the program and fulfill all the requirements, they will receive a generous sum of money to help with their education.

  “The benefactor regrets not being able to choose more than four. To compensate for this, he will pay each one of you for filling out the questionnaire. But it has to be filled out with careful consideration and thought, and with total honesty. One of the committee is a seasoned psychologist. He will review them, and he’ll be able to tell if the answers are not sincere.

  “Please be sure to put your phone number in the space allotted. I will be calling four of you this week. Are there any questions, or is there anyone unwilling to fill out the questionnaire?” He stopped and waited, giving the class members time to respond. Not one hand went up; they only stared at him in wide-eyed surprise. He continued, “This is not mandatory for this class, and your grade will not be affected either way.” Again he waited. Silence followed, as the girls tried to digest the information. No one objected, but the young woman with the stringy hair and sour expression raised her hand.

  “How much will he pay us to fill it out?” she asked in a skeptical tone.

  “One hundred dollars each, Miss Lemmon,” he answered, pleased that he had remembered her name.

  The girls all gasped, staring at him in shock. When Lora Lemmon could find her voice, she mumbled, “Uh, thank you.”

  Unseen by Dr. Ackerman, Billie Bliss’ pensive face revealed concern. She was almost certain that she would not want to be one of the four, even though she could certainly use the money. But, she thought, she would just have to wait and see.

  By the end of the period, all questionnaires were placed on Dr. Ackerman’s desk. When the last student left, he gathered up the papers and went next door to his office to go through them.

  -

  Wednesday evening, shortly after 7:00 p.m., the DeePees, now called “the committee,” were sitting comfortably in Sheldon’s condominium reading through the questionnaires. By 8:30 they had agreed on the eight, semi-final candidates.

  Robert shook his head. “It’s very clear, after reading these, that the majority are just taking the class to fill credit hours.”

  Hal and Nettie agreed.

  Sheldon nodded, then added in a critical tone of voice, “I’m no psychologist, but it’s very plain to me that most of these girls are not serious about a career in business.”

  Nettie, a successful business woman herself, spoke up. “Or even a career, period. But there’s nothing wrong with that, Shel. After all, since there are a lot of men out there not willing to commit themselves to marriage, many young women are forced into a career whether they want it or not.”

  Sheldon thought about this for a moment. Completely missing the not too- subtle barb aimed at him, he said, “I didn’t realize that, Nettie, but it certainly doesn’t make for a very stimulating group to teach.”

  The other three members of the committee looked at each other, shaking their heads slightly over his failure to get the punch line. Then dismissing him, they looked through the papers. The eight questionnaires were reduced to three on which they totally agreed, but each had chosen a different one for the fourth.

  Hal looked at the one he chose and smiled. “This girl seems very well adjusted, but her answers contradict themselves. Her answers to the questionnaire were quite confusing, but I’m going to choose her for the fourth, anyway.”

  “I remember that one,” Robert said. “She didn’t fit into any one category.

  “I remember one like that,” Nettie said. “She had an unusual name, I believe.”

  Sheldon smiled knowingly. “I’ll tell you her name. Billie Bliss.”

  Surprised that he would know who they were talking about, their eyes widened with curiosity. Then Nettie asked the questions that were suddenly on all their minds. “Do you know her, or have you had an opportunity to visit with her, Shel?”

  “I’ve had an opportunity to visit with her, but I certainly can’t say I know her.”

  “Why don’t you tell us about the visit,” Nettie suggested.

  Sheldon hesitated, then smiled, “I don’t know whether or not to incriminate myself.”

  “Incriminate yourself?” Nettie asked, her eyes wide with curiosity. “Oh, please do, Shel,” she cajoled, smiling eagerly.

  “Well, uh, Miss Bliss thinks that it’s, uh, my fault that . . .” he cleared his throat uncomfortably, “that she gained five pounds in my class spring term and already three pounds in the first two weeks of this one.”

  Eyes blinked, eyebrows raised, then all three laughed. Sheldon tolerated their amusement. When they were through, he said, “I’m glad that furnished you with some fun.”

  “Do tell us more, Shel,” Nettie said, tickled beyond words.

  “If you think her answers to the questionnaire were confusing, you should have heard the interview I had with her.”

  “Oh?” queried Hal. “Tell us about it.”

  “I couldn’t relate my questions and her answers if you tied me to the rack.

  I’ve never been so confused in my whole life.”

  The three were intrigued. They had never known Sheldon Ackerman to be confused, or, at least, to admit to being confused.

  “Come on, give it a try, Sheldon,” Robert insisted.

  “Well,” Sheldon began, grimacing, “I asked the class to write their career goals down and turn them in. When I came to Miss Bliss’ paper, she . . .”

  “Go on,” Nettie urged.

  “She had something on the paper, but it certainly was not her goals.” He stopped, glanced at each them, wondering why he was divulging this.

  “Shel!” Nettie exclaimed in exasperation. “Do we have to pull this out of you inch by inch?”

  Sheldon smiled and shook his head. “I know how you three will react if I tell you any more, but here goes. She had only one sentence on the paper which said, ‘It’s your fault Dr. Ackerman.’”

  They were silent as it sank in, then they roared with laughter. Sheldon smiled indulgently and waited.

  At last Robert said, “Well, what happened next?”

  “Needless to say, I invited her to come into my office. Once we were there, I asked her what she meant by that statement, but the more she talked or answered questions, the more confused I got. Listen to this, see if you can make sense of it. She said, and I quote: “It’s your fault, Dr. Ackerman, but I assure you, you’re not to blame.”

  The men looked at each other, puzzled, and Nettie laughed. Sheldon turned to her. “You understand that?”

  She laughed again. “Yes.”

  Robert Bittle sighed.”It’s obviously a female thing, Sheldon.”

  Nettie ignored the statement and asked, “What kind of a student is she, Shel?”

  “She got the highest scores on the two short exams I’ve given so far.” Then he added, “And she keeps herself nicely groomed.”

  “I vote for Miss Billie Bliss as the fourth participant,” Hal stated firmly.

  “I second it,” Robert and Nettie said at the same time.

  Sheldon raised his brows. “All right, but if she turns the project upside down, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  “In that case, Nettie said, holding back a smile, I vote that Sheldon be the one who works with Miss Bliss.”

  “I certainly second that,” Hal said.

  “I couldn’t agr
ee more,” added Robert, emphatically.

  “You can’t mean it!” Sheldon exclaimed, panicking at the thought.

  “We do,” Robert said, and the other two nodded their agreement. All three grinned, enjoying Sheldon’s discomfort.

  “This isn’t fair, you three are ganging up on me.” Sheldon half laughed, half groaned.

  “Oh no, Shel, we just feel that you are the one who can help this young lady,” Nettie said, with exaggerated fervor.

  “She may need help, but, I assure you, I’ll need more if I take her on.”

  We’re all here to help, Sheldon,” Robert said, struggling to keep a straight face. “We’ll all have lots of good advice for you.” Another wave of laughter engulfed the three.

  “All right, all right, you’ve had your fun. Which ones are you going to work with?”

  “We don’t know them, so it’s a toss of a coin. Just hand us a questionnaire of one of the other three we agreed upon,” Hal suggested.

  Sheldon looked at the remaining questionnaires and handed one to each of them. “I might point out,” he said feeling very pleased, “these four have all chosen business as their major.”

  Deciding he had better close the meeting before they came up with any more unwanted suggestions for him, Sheldon said, “The Dean has given permission for us to use the lounge in the Franklin building for our meetings.

  What do you think?”

  “That sounds good, Sheldon,” Robert said. “It’s on school grounds and yet it’s more comfortable than a classroom and more friendly, so to speak.”

  “Good. The next order of business is to decide how we’re going to introduce them to the program, and how we’re going to proceed with them individually and as a group,” Sheldon said. “Now, how about a bowl of ice cream?”

  Ten

  Thursday evening at 7:00, Billie’s phone rang. Deep in thought while writing a paper, she only became conscious of it when it rang again. Reaching for it, she answered distractedly, “Hello?”

  “Hello, Miss Bliss, this is Dr. Ackerman.”

  “Dr. Ackerman?” Billie asked, startled—suddenly alert.

  “I’m calling in regard to the questionnaire you filled out Monday.”

  “Yes?”

  “The committee has chosen you to be one of the four participants in the program. I’ve spoken to the other three who have been chosen, and they were all delighted to accept. How do you feel about being chosen?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Sheldon had prepared himself before he called her, so he wasn’t too surprised at her response.

  “I know this is late notice, Miss Bliss, but the group is meeting tomorrow night. Uh . . . when do you suppose you will know?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Can you explain why you don’t know?”

  “Dr. Ackerman, did you notice on the paper I handed you that I only put down one goal, which is owning a business of my own?”

  “Let me see, I have it right here. Oh yes, I see that.”

  “Did you also notice that I stated that that goal was plan B?”

  “Yes, I see that,” he said, wondering why there wasn’t a plan A.

  “That’s why I wonder if it would be fair of me to accept.”

  Sheldon could feel things getting sticky. “Miss Bliss, I think we could understand one another better if we were to discuss this in person. Is that all right with you?”

  “Yes, Dr. Ackerman.”

  “Is there somewhere we could meet?”

  “You’re welcome to come over here to my little apartment.”

  “Uh . . . no. The school would not approve of that,” he said, feeling grateful for Robert’s advice about this very thing. “Would it be possible for you to come up to my office right now?”

  Billie looked at her unfinished paper and sighed. “All right. I only live a block from the campus, so I’ll be there soon.”

  “Thank you, Miss Bliss. I wouldn’t ask you come up tonight, but it’s important that the project gets started right away.”

  “I understand. I’ll see you in a few minutes. Oh, Dr. Ackerman, may I come just as I am—very casual?”

  “That will be fine, Miss Bliss.”

  Sheldon, relieved to have this part out of the way, smiled as he hung up the phone. Immediately, he got up from his desk and went to the mini-blinds on the door window and opened them.

  Seventeen minutes later, professor and student were facing each other across the professor’s desk. Sheldon noted that Miss Bliss was dressed casually, as she said, in knee-length shorts with a man’s shirt over them.

  Miss Bliss noticing his examination of the shirt, hastened to explain. “This was my father’s shirt. You see he has auburn hair also.” Her professor looked puzzled, so she explained further. “Hunter green is my favorite color and also my father’s. It enhances our hair, Papa says. I coveted this shirt, so he gave it to me.”

  Sheldon, now looking at her hair, discovered that, indeed, it was auburn.

  He hadn’t noticed before. She had it pulled up off her neck with some kind of a clip, the underside ballooning, making it look like an old-fashioned style with tendrils of hair escaping here and there. Quite an enchanting hair-do, he decided. Suddenly realizing that he had been staring at her hair for some time, he quickly stated the obvious. “Uh . . . yes, I see that your hair is, uh, indeed, auburn.”

  He cleared his throat. “Now, Miss Bliss, let’s try the best we can to understand one another. You said on the phone it wouldn’t be fair for you to be a participant in the program. Would you please tell me why?”

  “Because my goal to own a business is only plan B.”

  “So what is plan A?”

  “It’s was, not is, Dr. Ackerman.”

  “All right, what was plan A?”

  “I really hesitate to say.”

  Sheldon Ackerman, feeling edgy, said, “Miss Bliss, you must have wanted to tell me to bring up plan A in the first place.”

  “No, I don’t want to tell you,” she said matter-of-factly. “It only explains why I don’t think it’s fair for me . . .”

  “Tell me, Miss Bliss,” he ordered. She looked at him, shocked. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, “please tell me.”

  “Plan A was . . . getting married and having children.”

  Sheldon wondered why he hadn’t guessed, but still puzzled, he asked, “Then why don’t you go with plan A? Apparently you want to do that more than plan B.”

  “Yes, I did, but now it’s out of the question.”

  “I’m sure you’ll get an opportunity to get married, Miss Bliss, if you’re patient.”

  “I’ve already had several opportunities, Dr. Ackerman, but it’s out of the question.”

  “Why?”

  “As I asked once before, how many weeks do you have?”

  “Why can’t you just come right out and say it?” he blurted out in frustration.

  “I can, Dr. Ackerman,” she stated, wide eyed, “but you wouldn’t understand any more than my family does.”

  “Can we . . . uh, circumvent this, and you tell me in another way why it would be unfair to accept the program?”

  Billie thought a minute. “I won’t be as dedicated a student of the program as you would like me to be, because owning a business is not my number one desire.”

  “But you’ve made the decision to go with plan B, haven’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  Sheldon sighed with relief. “Well, Miss Bliss, that is dedicated enough to participate.”

  “It is?”

  “Yes.” He found himself smiling.

  “All right, I’ll be a participant.”

  Sheldon Ackerman’s sense of relief, though silent, was no less profound than a climber finding a sure footing on a cliff.

  Eleven

  The Franklin lounge was for faculty use only. Its soft, muted colors of blue and rose made the room feel pleasant and comfortable. Upholstered chairs and couches were placed at one end of the
room, and a small conference table encircled by blue padded chairs, was at the other.

  The only disharmony in the room was Sheldon Ackerman. Nervousness had set in and he was pacing back and forth. He was now wondering if taking on this program was utter foolishness. In his experience, limited though it was, he had found women complicated and unpredictable. And Billie Bliss seemed determined to take that to a completely new level. Disaster, he feared, lurked just around the corner.

  “Shel, you’re here already,” Nettie said, entering the room.

  “Nettie, it’s good to see you,” he said, relief written all over his face.

  “She studied Sheldon’s face. “What’s the matter, Shel, getting cold feet?”

  “I’m afraid so, Nettie. In fact, I’m sure they’re both frostbitten. Working with the opposite sex isn’t my area of expertise, I’m afraid.”

  Just then, the rest of the committee walked in, bringing more support to the beleaguered professor. After greeting each other, they sat down and quickly went over the agenda.

  “Excuse me,” came a sweet, dulcet voice from the open doorway, “Dr. Ackerman?”

  They all turned to see the first of the four participants—a strikingly beautiful young woman. Nettie, Robert and Hal noted her gorgeous auburn hair, her large, milk chocolate brown eyes, and her creamy complexion.

  Sheldon stood up and walked to the doorway. “Do come in, Miss Bliss.” He glanced at his watch and saw that it was exactly seven o’clock. “You’re right on time.”

  At the mention of Billie’s name, the other three looked quickly at one another conveying a message that clearly said, “So this is the girl who has Sheldon all twisted up!”

  He led her over to the group, who all stood up as Sheldon introduced her to each one. “Miss Bliss, this is Mrs. Nettie Newman. She and her husband, Don, own the Diet Center, Dr. Robert Bittle, a prominent psychologist, and Dr. Hal Ozog, one of Claytonville’s most outstanding family practice physicians, newly retired. And this is Miss Billie Bliss who has accepted the opportunity to participate in Project Success.”

  Billie was impressed. Each smiled warmly, shook her hand, and commented on how happy he or she was to have her in the group.