Girl in the Spotlight

by Virginia McCullough

  Despite being awkward and slow, and feeling the hot strain in her thigh muscles, Lark realized the skating was calming her, preparing her for what was to come. Yesterday afternoon, she had texted her mom and asked her to watch the ladies’ final International skating event—explanation to follow. Then she’d invited her to an early dinner on Sunday at the Half Moon Café, adding that she had something important to talk about. Good intentions to get together aside, Lark hadn’t seen her mom since Christmas. With Evan now aware of Perrie Lynn, the time had come to tell her mother everything.

  Turning to head back, Lark pulled her knit hat tighter over her hair. Her early-morning skate had taken her away from the house when Evan was still sleeping, but she’d left a note for him, which also promised pancakes and bacon for breakfast. What would they talk about while she cooked and he ate his fill of his favorite pancakes? Maybe, now that Perrie Lynn had become more real to him, he’d ask some questions. Talking Evan was preferable to Silent Evan, even if she didn’t like what he had to say.

  Her fingers stiff from the temperature hovering around zero, Lark managed to replace her skates with her boots and drive the few blocks home. But she vowed to go back, maybe even the next day. The river wouldn’t stay safely frozen for long.

  She let herself into the house, calling out Evan’s name. When he didn’t answer, she went to his room, but heard the sound of the shower from his bathroom. She headed to the kitchen to start breakfast, and by the time he joined her, the smell of bacon was wafting through the house.

  “Hey, pancakes coming up.”

  He nodded, a lopsided grin showing his pleasure. “So, how was your skate?”

  “Slow and wobbly, but exhilarating. I don’t know why I haven’t found time to go out on the river before. It was my favorite thing when I was about your age.”

  “Maybe Perrie Lynn gets it from you...the interest in it and all,” Evan said with a quick one-shoulder shrug. “She looks like you, sort of.” He pointed to his forehead and the more subtle version of Lark’s widow’s peak that he’d inherited.

  “You could be right about her affinity for skating. Maybe I would have liked spinning and jumping as much as I liked building speed and flying down the river.” She swept one palm across the other to emphasize the notion of speed.

  “Uh, Dad called. He’s really mad.”

  She dropped silver-dollar-size dollops of batter on the heated griddle before turning around to look at Evan. “At me. He’s mad at me. Nothing will change between you and your dad.”

  His eyebrows lifted. Lark read doubt in his reaction, and Evan hadn’t looked her in the eye, either. “You don’t believe me. I can see it in your face. Let me be clear. Your dad is entitled to be angry with me. But it has nothing to do with you.”

  Lark turned back to the stove to flip the pancakes and turn off the burner under the bacon. She’d expected questions, was happy to answer them. Secrecy had its limits and it also had the potential to harm. She understood that now.

  “If Dad wants me to stay with him all the time that sure affects me.”

  Her gut rolled. She took in a breath before pivoting to face him. “Did he say that he’d like to change our arrangement?”

  Evan nodded. “I guess. He asked if I’d like to move most of my stuff into my room at his house and be there more...uh, most of the time. He made a big deal about how much bigger the room is. As if I didn’t know. I’m not dumb, Mom, I know what he was asking me.”

  “I see.” She quietly seethed as she drained the bacon and put the first round of pancakes on a plate for Evan. So far, Lyle was two for two. First jumping the gun about Perrie Lynn and now proposing a change in custody without consulting her. The answer would be no. She put the plate in front of Evan. “So, what did you tell your dad?”

  He glanced up. “I said I like things the way they are.”

  She nodded and smiled. “I do, too.” One day Evan would understand the power of those words. Was it possible their strong feelings would be enough to put an end to Lyle’s vindictive fantasy? She turned her attention back to the batter. She’d been ravenous when she’d started cooking, but her appetite was gone, replaced by the anxious fist tightening in her gut.

  “But he said we’d talk about it again,” Evan added, his voice low.

  “That means he and I will talk about it,” Lark said, letting her anger seep through. “I don’t want you worrying about it, Evan.” She sat down in the chair next to him and lightly touched his arm. “There’s no reason that anything in your life needs to change. One day, you’ll meet Perrie Lynn, but that’s separate from anything going on between your dad and me.”

  Evan nodded and popped a piece of bacon into his mouth.

  In the calming silence, the tension inside her began to disappear. She went back to the stove and ladled more pancake batter into the skillet. She was no longer a young woman easily intimidated, not as she’d been when she married Lyle. Back then she’d been fooled by his take-charge attitude and mistaken it for maturity. No more. She’d protect Evan from his dad’s desire to punish her because she’d discovered her own voice and power.

  After breakfast, Lark burned her nervous energy dusting and vacuuming the living room and scrubbing the kitchen counters and cabinets from top to bottom. The house was nearly spotless by midafternoon, when she left Evan working at his computer and headed to the Half Moon Café. In the parking lot, she answered another text from Miles, glad to hear his day with Brooke was going well. She texted how much she was looking forward to seeing Perrie Lynn perform at the exhibition skate later that evening, when she’d get to watch all the medalists one more time.

  Once inside the restaurant, she spotted her mother in a booth near the front. At least she thought it was her mother. Where had all her hair gone?

  “Well, well, look at you,” Lark said as she took off her coat and slid into the booth. “I almost didn’t recognize you.”

  Her mom fluffed the sides of her new short haircut. “I’ve decided to surrender and live in the twenty-first century.”

  Lark suppressed an urge to blurt, “It’s about time.” Instead, she said, “It’s gorgeous.” The dyed, bottle-yellow was replaced with a soft darker blond. “And that sweater looks great.”

  “I should have treated myself to a makeover years ago,” her mom said, running her hand down the sleeve of her light pink cable-knit pullover. “It actually took a couple of younger coworkers showing up in vintage sequined clothes to wake me up. Their appliquéd puppy dogs looked a little silly at thirty-five. I saw myself and didn’t like the image.”

  “But you can still have your cats, Mom.” Lark pointed to the giant silver-and-garnet cat pin on the edge of the sweater’s neckline. “And you can still be fun Grandma Cora.”

  Cora grinned and fidgeted with the pin. But the small talk had nowhere else to go. Knowing she’d keep it simple and have the grilled salmon plate, Lark suggested they order, and get the food out of the way. Cora ordered a martini, but Lark stuck to sparkling water.

  “I have something important to tell you,” Lark said.

  “I figured as much. You were uncharacteristically insistent about meeting today.”

  Shaking her head, Lark said, “I know, it’s been a long time. Too long. But I’ve been dealing with something that required my focus...and silence, at least temporarily.”

  “Now you have me worried. I was hoping you were going to announce an engagement or something fun.” Cora’s forehead wrinkled. “I watched the skating, by the way. Pretty spectacular, but why did you text me about it?”

  Lark sighed over the engagement remark, although Miles’s smiling face popped into her mind unbidden. “I’m getting to that, but be patient. You see, what I’m about to tell you is huge. It’s about the past, but now it’s about the future, too.” Lark rubbed her temples. She’d dreaded this moment for so long. />
  “Now you’ve really got me worried, so go ahead, tell me.”

  Lark clammed up when the waiter brought their drinks and took their order, the salmon plate for her and a giant bacon cheeseburger with sweet potato fries for Cora. Under other circumstances, Lark would have teased her mom about the burger with the works, but not that afternoon.

  When the waiter walked away, Lark observed the alarm in her mother’s eyes and plunged in. “It’s about the skater I told you to watch last night. The bronze medalist, Perrie Lynn Olson. Do you remember her?”

  “I do. Those commentators were talking about her a lot, because she’s just lost her mother. I guess it was only a few days ago.”

  “Perrie Lynn turned eighteen the second week of December.” Lark drew air deep into her lungs. “And she’s my daughter.”

  Lark ignored her mom’s stunned expression and rushed through the basics of the story right up to the present. She watched her mother’s face register shock and wonder as Lark ended with Maxine’s death and Perrie Lynn’s last-minute arrival in Norway.

  “I can barely believe that this happened so quickly,” Lark said. “I expected a long drawn-out process to find her, taking years, not days.”

  Cora flopped back in the booth. “I’m speechless.”

  Lark pulled her tablet out of her handbag and brought up a close-up of Perrie Lynn in her blue costume and the white flower in her hair. Her happy wide smile dominated the photo. She turned the pad around so her mother could have a look. “This picture does her justice. For Miles, the widow’s peak was the biggest clue, other than her hair color and skin tone, which she got from him. She’s breathtaking, isn’t she?”

  Her mom glanced at the photo and nodded. But she wasn’t smiling.

  “With any luck, I’ll see her soon. World championships are next month. Then, we—Miles and I—think her father will invite us to Minnesota to meet her. That depends on Perrie Lynn, of course. She has to be ready.”

  Glancing at the photo again, Cora finally spoke. “I can see her distinctive smile is all you.” She took two quick gulps of her martini. “I don’t know where to start with my questions. You’ve caught me completely off guard.” Her eyes clouded. “But it’s devastating to realize something like this happened and you didn’t tell me. I’m heartbroken. You truly didn’t think you could bring her home?”

  “What? Into our family craziness?” Lark couldn’t squelch her angry reaction, but she forced herself to lower her voice to a whisper. “You and Dad were completely immersed in your fight over Dennis. Let’s leave it at that. I’m not blaming you for anything that happened. But the situation was behind my decision to flee to Dublin.”

  Covering her mouth with her hand, Cora shook her head. “But in all these years. I’m surprised you—or Lyle—didn’t let something slip out.”

  Lark lifted her shoulders in a show of diffidence. “That’s easy to explain. Lyle didn’t know. Not until recently, when I told him. In his typical contemptuous, double-crossing fashion, he gave Evan his version of my deception before I had a chance to break the news myself. It’s complicating things now.”

  “Wait, wait,” Cora said, her palm almost in Lark’s face. “Are you saying you never confided in Lyle before you married him?”

  “Exactly.” In a dispassionate tone, Lark ran down the list of reasons she’d kept her secret. “I suppose if I had told him, he’d have broken our engagement. As positive as that seems in hindsight, I wouldn’t have Evan. And that’s unthinkable.”

  As if still trying to grasp the reality, Cora said, “All this time I had a granddaughter growing up without me...or any of us. She even has cousins.”

  Lark remained silent when the waiter appeared with the tray of food.

  “I never liked the secrecy, not to mention the uncertainty,” she said, once the waiter walked away. “Not ever knowing for sure she was okay. And all these years she’s had a loving family that was hers—parents and grandparents, and probably cousins.”

  “How is Evan taking all this?” Cora asked.

  Lark considered her words, concerned that she had no real answer. “The best I can say is that it’s too early to know. Lyle isn’t helping. He’s hinting at changing our custody agreement, but fortunately, Evan doesn’t like that idea.”

  “That’s good, isn’t it? Your ex can’t fight you over custody of a nearly thirteen-year-old boy with a mind of his own.”

  Oh, sure. Right. Why would her mother, of all people, say such a thing? That’s precisely what had happened with Dennis, and to end the custody fight, the compromise had been two years of boarding school. Lark had no intention of letting family history repeat itself.

  Lark cleared her throat. “I don’t know what Lyle is capable of. He’s openly calling me a liar and doing whatever he can to discredit me.”

  Her mom winced at her words, then reached into her purse and brought out a tissue to dab her eyes. “I’m sorry. You know, crying like this.”

  “That’s okay,” Lark said. “I don’t know when I’ve cried more, years ago when I was consumed with grief and regret about giving her up or in these weeks since we found her.”

  “We, as in you and Miles?”

  She nodded. “Like I said, he got in touch with me, and we’ve become...well, close. It was a lot to work through.” She scoffed. “We had to forgive ourselves for being young. He’s had the added burden of knowing he didn’t jump in to help me figure out a way to keep her. I’ve had to forgive myself for not fighting harder for her.”

  “Perrie Lynn was lucky, though, in terms of the people adopting her,” Cora said, her face set in thought. “You must be relieved knowing that.”

  “That’s the biggest outcome for me so far. The relief.” Lark pushed her plate of half-eaten food aside and leaned across the table. “When Maxine called me and confirmed that this accomplished young woman was truly the baby we relinquished, I knew, really knew in my heart, she’d had the life she deserved.”

  “And you decided to just run off to Boston with Miles to see her skate?”

  “I did. Well, once Miles pulled the tickets out of his pocket on Christmas Eve.” The memory of that moment made her laugh.

  With her face still pinched in pain, Cora said, “I’m glad you finally revealed this secret, but it’s a lot to take in. I realize we’ve never been particularly close, especially after my hideous divorce from your father. Still, you kept a huge secret.” She raised both hands in the air, a gesture of helplessness. “I’m hurt. I can’t help it. I wish you’d made a different choice.” She quickly added, “About telling me, that is.”

  Lark nodded, hoping her mother would eventually understand. “I learned to live with my decision. By the time I had Evan, I didn’t want you thinking about a baby girl every time you looked at me—or your grandson.”

  Her mom averted her eyes. But to Lark, wounded feelings seemed inevitable. Given the circumstances of the past, would she have made a different decision about confiding her secret? Probably not.

  * * *

  LATE THAT NIGHT, she relayed to Miles an abbreviated version of what had happened at lunch with her mother. Miles asked a few questions, but otherwise kept his observations to himself. “I’m glad you’re not telling me how I should or shouldn’t feel,” she said. “I had to take the same attitude toward my mother. I’m still convinced I was right to keep my secret.”

  “Well, this is about feelings, anyway,” Miles pointed out. “No one is right and no one is wrong.”

  Lark laughed softly. “That sounds like reasonable Miles. But my mother and I will be okay. Besides, no matter what she does, she gets points for not trying to claim perfection. She’s made her own mistakes and paid a heavy price for every one of them.”

  “Did Evan watch the exhibition with you tonight?”

  “Yes, he sure did.” She paused,
trying to find the words to explain her response to watching Perrie Lynn skate to the evocative song “Moon River.” “Even at such a young age, he caught on that the choice of music, the performance itself, was about her mother and their closeness.”

  “Even little eight-year-old Brooke sensed that,” Miles said. “There is something about that pair of drifters in the lyrics. The song has a direct path into my heart. Our friends Katie and Allen said there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.”

  “I’ll always picture her soaring and gliding and bringing the entire arena to tears.” She swallowed back a wave of emotion. “What a memory. I only wish we could have been together and shared the excitement over these last few days.” She was almost afraid to say the next words, but went ahead, anyway. “I’m glad Evan had the chance to see Perrie Lynn, even from a distance. But I missed you.”

  “I know, Lark. I feel the same way, maybe more than you know.” He chuckled. “And let’s make a plan. I’m not waiting all the way to the world championships to see you.”

  “Get out your calendar, my friend. Let’s see when we can get together.”

  Within minutes they’d arranged to meet for breakfast at Hugo’s on Wednesday, once again before Miles had to fly out of town. “It will be much more fun this time,” she said, “and I’ll polish off one of their giant platters, too.”

  “I’m counting on it.”

  Still laughing, they ended the call.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  MILES ANSWERED THE call in the lobby of the hotel in Seattle, conscious of the sudden wave of nervous anticipation coming over him. “How good to see your name on my phone, Eric.”

  “Well, I knew it was time to get in touch,” Eric said. “And, uh, thanks for your condolences. Declan’s assistant passed on your kind words. Yours and Lark’s.”