3:53 PM *Please, call me.*
4:00 PM Missed call from 214-245-3164
4:15 PM *It’s me, remember the time when we ditched school and we hung out all day at the library, and then came back to the fort? We can go back to that kind of friendship. Just…call me.*
5:05 PM Missed call from 214-245-3164
5:30 PM *You can’t do this to me, Keri. You know it’s not fair. Please, just give me a chance and talk to me. I’m only asking so I can understand.*
5:45 PM Missed call from 214-245-3164
6:00 PM Missed call from 214-245-3164
6:05 PM Missed call from 214-245-3164
6:10 PM Missed call from 214-245-3164
6:20 PM Missed call from 214-245-3164
“Shit.” I looked down at all of the calls and took a deep breath.
“What?” Alexis asked as she was looking over at my phone. “Damn! Is that all him?”
“Yeah,” I said, feeling like a world class bitch.
“He has it bad.”
“Yeah, I think he does.”
“What about you? Look at you, Keri. You’re miserable.”
I nodded, knowing that I was. I was a complete douche bag. “Yeah.”
“Then call him!”
“I’m going to head back to the room now.”
Alexis smiled at me and patted me on the shoulder. “Good luck, and we’ll leave you some space tonight. The room is yours.”
“Thanks,” I said, glad to know that I wouldn’t be making a total ass of myself in front of my roommate and her boyfriend.
“No problem.”
I waited to call Payton until I reached the room and had a restroom break and opened a cold Dr. Pepper. I took a sip, and then chugged it for about two seconds, until my phone rang. It was him. Again.
“Hello?”
“H…Keri?” Payton said, frantically. “Oh my God. I’m…are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I said, shaking. “I’m fine. You?”
“Miserable.”
“Me, too.” I let out the breath that I was holding and cried. “I’m sorry, Pay.”
“What are you doing, Keri? I’ve been so…fuck. I’ve been really worried.”
He must have been, because I had only ever heard Payton use that word once before and he didn’t know I was standing outside of the tree fort when he’d done it.
“I know, I’m…I’m just…scared, I guess.”
“What the hell were those emails about? I’ve been about sick. Please tell me that you aren’t seeing this guy.”
“I’m not,” I cried. “I just met him, and he…”
“What? What happened?” Payton asked. His voice was all short and angry. He’d never talked that way to me.
“We just talked, that’s all. He offered to tutor me in math.”
Payton took a harsh breath. “I told you that I would help you. It’s no problem.”
“I know, and that’s fine. It was before you offered.”
“Are you sure? You and I talked Monday night, and everything was fine until I asked you what you were hiding.”
“Yeah.”
“And you had been with him, weren’t you?”
I was quiet for a little too long.
“I can’t believe this shit. We’ve known each other forever, Keri. How can you…? What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing. I was in class Monday afternoon, and I embarrassed myself with my lack of math skills. He was there, and he offered to tutor me. I took him up on it. We met at Woody’s Tavern, and we sat down and did math and talked.”
“You met at a bar to work on math?” Payton asked, incredulously.
“I know it sounds bad, but I hadn’t eaten yet, and I have a short lunch break.”
“So, why weren’t you home that night then, why wait to call me until after midnight?”
“Because I just got in a few minutes before I dialed.”
I could hear Payton’s sharp intake of air and knew right away that I was completely in the wrong.
“Did you kiss him?”
“No.”
“Did you want to kiss him?”
“No,” I replied, honestly. “It wasn’t like that.”
“Then why the email the next day. Why tell me that you met someone?”
“Because there’s too much pressure for this to work out. You’re too much right now. It’s all way too much.”
“Why not just tell me that, then, Keri? Why would you go out and find a guy?”
I flinched. It really wasn’t like that. OR was it? “I’m sorry.”
“Me, too. This sucks,” Payton cried.
I felt my stomach drop. I wanted to throw up. I had made Payton cry. I thought back to that night when I heard him say the f word, and knew that it was me that caused it. It was homecoming, and I didn’t go with him. My shoulders slumped, and I wiped at my tears. “I don’t know what to say to make it better, Pay. I’m really sorry. It’s just a lot for me to handle right now. I…I really like you. Honestly, and if you want to know the absolute truth, I think you’re the best person for me. Just…not now.”
Payton didn’t speak, but I could hear him in the background. I pictured him alone in the tree fort with the light on, and him lying back in our sleeping bags.
“Pay?”
“Mm?”
“Do you hate me?”
“No. I hate myself.”
“There’s no reason to hate yourself.”
“I pushed you, too far. I knew this would happen. I knew I should have just waited.”
I couldn’t help but think that he was both right and wrong at once. On one hand, it was horrible timing, and on the other it was perfect. He was a welcome distraction. But it was also a distraction, one that would keep me away from dealing with everything.
“I’m glad that we kissed.”
“Sure, ” Payton replied sarcastically.
“No, I’m really glad. I’m glad that you were my first kiss, Pay.”
“I…I was your first?” Payton asked, surprised.
“Yeah.”
“You didn’t kiss…”
“Nope. I told you they were just friends. You were my first kiss, Payton.”
“Then I’m not sorry.”
I smiled through my tears. “Good.”
“Can we still talk?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“This sucks, Keri.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have agreed to the whole girlfriend thing. It was too soon for me. I really need to think about this.”
“When will you know?” Payton asked, impatient.
“I don’t know.”
“So you want me to wait around for you?”
When he put it like that I sounded selfish. And I guess I was, but as terrible as the thought was, I didn’t want anyone touching my Payton.
“No,” I grinded out.
“So, it’s okay for me to just date?”
“Well that was quick,” I said, put out by the question.
“Well I guess now you know how it feels.”
Payton 1, Keri 0.
Chapter Ten
*Feelings*
Ihad massive feelings for Payton. Like big time ones. A week had gone by since our phone call, and we had started our emailing affair. I call it that because we hadn’t talked, texted, nor Skyped. Just emailed. Longwinded emails that discussed everything but what was like the biggest elephant in the world. Feelings. We didn’t talk about those at all. And, I have to say, once again, Payton was winning.
I opened my laptop every morning with a grin on my face and anticipation in my gut. It was like You’ve Got Mail, and I was Meg Ryan, and Payton, Tom Hanks. We talked about Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and summer breaks, we talked about our old high school friends, and what they were doing. We discussed the weather, as if it were of any consequence to either of us. We talked about farming, of different breeds of cattle, of the stock market. We talked about dumb shit, and it was the most inte
resting thing in the world while we talked about it. At least that’s what we told ourselves.
I opened my computer as usual and went to gmail. I had 12 new messages—most of them junk mail—all except for the one that came from [email protected] I clicked on it, and read.
Ker Ker,
What’s up? I’m sitting in the fort. The weather is now getting a bit chilly at 67 degrees. I’m getting ready to start the morning chores, and then I have to go into town with dad. We’re going to sell some cattle. I don’t really talk about this much, but I thought I’d share it with you.
I hate selling them. It’s hard. Dad says that I need to man up, because it’s part of life, but as you already know this about me, I also can’t eat the beef that comes from our stock. There’s something about it that’s cannibalistic to me. No thanks, I’ll go to The Texas Roadhouse. Ha!
How’s the math coming along? Did you understand that last explanation I sent you on the equations? If not, maybe we can Skype or something and I can show you that way?
Or not…
I went to the Western Wear shop last night and bought a new hat. I also saw Patricia Walters there. She told me to tell you she said hi. She invited me over for supper tonight, too.
I don’t think that I’ll go, as the auctions run pretty late. And you know how I need my beauty sleep? Lol
I miss seeing your face around here. I took my first selfie just for you. Don’t laugh too hard.
XX
Payton
PS. There’s no way in hell that I’m posting it on here. Have a good day.
I laughed as I finished Payton’s email, and hit reply.
Pay Pay (Seriously what is that about?)
If you think 67 is cold, you have another think coming. It’s about 30 here, and the wind is blowing. It sucks. Of course, I’m sure you’ve heard of us over here, you know, the school with the best band in the land? Well, we just won our game last weekend, and the cheering is still going on. I think there are only a handful of games left of the season. I really don’t know. You’d probably know better than I do.
As for your meat dilemma, you know where I stand on the issue of eating your pets. Enough said.
I really want to see this new hat of yours. Hopefully it’s better than the one that you wore to Tina Garret’s fifth birthday party! Remember that one? The black one with the cow hide? I am laughing now just thinking about it.
Have fun at the auction tonight. Don’t eat at Patti’s, I heard a while ago that she wasn’t that great of a cook. Nothing like me of course… you know with my ability to burn water?
I miss seeing your face, too. You really need to send me that selfie. Another first for us?
PS. I have an entire bag of peanut M&Ms here with no one to share them with.
I pushed send, and then headed out to class with my bag of peanut M&Ms tucked firmly into my backpack. I’d be counting the hours now until I could check my email again.
***
I talked to my mom for nearly three hours that night. It was a good conversation, and one without one tear shed by either of us.
“So, you’re okay with me using the card?” I asked, once more, making sure that it wasn’t going to be a problem.
“Of course not. That’s what we wanted it for. Besides, I paid the last balance off, and it’s down to zero.”
“I’ll get a job next semester, I promise.”
“That’s not an issue, honey. I want you to come home.”
“I want to come home, too,” I assured Mom.
“Have you been talking to Payton?”
“Emailing mostly.”
“I heard about that. He came by the other day.”
This was all news to me. “Really? Why?”
“Oh, he stops by once a week and we have dinner. He’s been checking on me. He helped me with a few things around the house, and Wednesday, he helped me mow the grass. It was nice because I was pretty damn tired after getting all of the canning done.”
“You’re still doing that?” I asked, shocked that mom would even attempt to do the canning alone. It was a very time consuming job for two people, let alone one.
“Yeah, of course. You know how I love to can. Besides, I need to keep busy, it’s easier.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “Have you heard from Seth and Jack?”
I hadn’t heard from the twins since the week before last, and the conversations were only a few minutes long. Jack was nervous about his finals, and Seth was nervous about Cassie’s mom and dad.
“Yeah, Seth called last night. He’s thinking about proposing.”
“What!?”I asked, completely and utterly shocked.
“You heard me. I told him to be sure, and that I wanted to meet her. I guess we’re going to have to wait to meet her until after the holidays. Seth said he’d bring her home for Christmas.”
“Wow!” This was a complete shock to me. Seth getting married. “How does Jack feel?”
“Jack said that she’s great. But other than that, he didn’t say much. Which is odd for Jack.”
“Yeah, that is a bit strange, but he didn’t say much about Seth going away for Thanksgiving either.”
“No, now that you mention it, he didn’t. That is weird. I’ll call him later on,” Mom said, and then sighed. “My kids are all growing up. First it’s Seth with a girlfriend, and now soon to be fiancé, and you and Payton kissing in the tree fort, and next my Jackie will find someone. I hope.”
“Mom! I…how did you know?”
“I got it out of Payton.”
“Mom!”
Mom laughed, and the sound was like music to my ears. “He caved rather quickly. He said it was good.”
“Oh my God.”
“Yes, he said that you would say that if I teased you.”
“Good lord, what else did you two talk about?”
“He asked me how I’ve been, and we talked about that for a while, and then we talked about you, and how he’s worried that you’ll find someone else while he’s trying to be patient with you. And he said that he’d wait a lifetime.”
I nearly swooned listening to my mom. “Thanks, Mom.”
“You’re welcome. Please tell me that you’re not going to make that boy wait forever.”
“I’m not.”
“Good. I can’t wait to see you.”
“Me, neither. I’m going to leave as soon as I get out of class; that way I can be there the entire break, and not just for a few days.”
“I’d like that, and I’m sure Payton will, too.”
“Easy, Mom.”
“Okay, honey. Call me if you have any problems with the card.”
“Okay. Goodnight.”
I hung up the phone, sat back against the pillows, and closed my eyes, dreaming of Thanksgiving break.
A few hours later, I heard a commotion behind the door. I opened my eyes and they were hazy from sleep. I looked over at Alexis’s bed, and could see Todd’s form hugging the wall, but Alexis wasn’t there. She must have been the one making noise outside. I looked at the clock, and it was nearing midnight.
I heard the door open slightly, and then Alexis’s voice. “Todd, get up. Todd!”
“Alexis, what’s going on?” I asked, barely alert. “Everything okay?”
“Oh, hey, no everything is awesome, listen… Um, Todd and I are going to sleep in his room tonight.”
“Why? He’s asleep. Seriously, Alexis, you have a problem. Let the guy have a few moment’s rest.”
Alexis giggled and then went over to her bed and poked Todd.
“What?” Todd called out.
“Come on, get up, we’re going to your room.”
“What? No, Alexis, let a guy get some sleep.”
I laughed. “Holy shit, I never thought I’d hear the day when he denied his love cat.”
“Seriously, you just said that?”
“Yes, I did. You can thank me later. Let the man sleep.”
“Yeah, let the man sleep,”
Todd echoed my words.
“No, Todd. Number three in the agreement,” Alexis said.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Todd was up in a flash, a grin on his face.
“What the hell is going on here?” I asked, and then rolled my eyes. “Ew. What are you making him do?”
“Nothing. Oh! You are nasty. I’m not, we’re not,” Alexis gestured from Todd to herself and then from herself to Todd. “That’s out of the question.” She shivered, and then repeated her words.
“Okay, weirdo. I’m going to bed, lock the door, will ya?”
“Yeah, I will. Good luck.”
“What? Okay. So weird,” I mumbled, and then put my head back into my pillows.
A few seconds later, I heard the door shut and the lock go into place, and then his voice.
“Do you still have those M&Ms?”
I nearly fell off the bed I moved so fast. “Payton!”
I threw my arms around him, and squeezed him hard. “How?”
“I left a while ago, after I checked my email.”
I couldn’t believe that he was here, in my dorm room, and alone with me. I smiled, thinking of Todd getting out of bed so fast, and of Alexis, who must have heard Payton at the door. “I can’t believe that you’re here.”
“So, you’re not mad?”
“Oh, God no!”
Payton let out a breath that I’m sure he was keeping since he surprised me and smiled. “That’s good.”
“What about your job?”
“Dad said he was tired of me being useless and for me to just go up here and see you, but as soon as your break is over, I’m not allowed to talk about you until Christmas.”
I laughed, thinking of Charles Taylor. He was a big guy with few words. “I can see him saying that.” I smiled, and then leaned back and looked into Payton’s eyes. They were bright and smiley. Happy Payton eyes.
“You look good. I like the hat!”
“Thanks. It’s the new one.”
Payton wore a black Stetson. His hair was messy and blondish-brown and perfect. I put my hand in his hair and mussed it around lovingly. I hadn’t been able to think of anything but him for the last week. It was crazy how things could change over email. We’d talked a lot, and I had enjoyed every minute of it.
The Boy Next Door (Falling for You Book 1) Page 6