Tend My Heart

by Marian H. Griffin

  She turned on her side and pulled her knees up. Why is the fetal position so comforting? Do we really remember what is was like to be compressed into this position? Who gives a damn when Cash is gone with no apology for lying?

  She hadn’t had a chance to explain why she was lying. He’d left too quickly! He needed to tell her his reasons and she had to tell him hers. Then they’d—no, “they’d” do nothing because she couldn’t forgive him for lying to her.

  Maybe he’d never forgive me for lying to him. She hadn’t considered that. After all, he lied about what he did for a living. She lied about things she wanted and didn’t want, about her feelings and attitudes. Her lips trembled as she clutched her stomach.

  “He’ll never forgive me!” Turning her face into the comforter, she burst into tears again. It wasn’t even noon when she fell into an exhausted sleep.

  Chapter Nine

  She woke with a headache and didn’t think it came from the knocking on her door. Dragging herself up, she rubbed her temples as she went out to answer it. When she opened the door, and saw who it was, she blinked once and shut the door.

  A hand banged on the door. “Penny? I want to talk to you,” Dixie said.

  “Go away.”

  “No, not until we talk.”

  “You and your brother lied to me. I don’t want to talk. Go away.”

  Dixie banged on the door again. “Not until I have a chance to explain.”

  “Explain what?”

  “Do you really want me to yell through the door?”

  Penny thought a moment then opened the door. If Dixie was anything like her brother, she wouldn’t give up until she opened the door anyway. “Come in, talk fast and go away.” She shut the door behind the woman she had started to consider a friend.

  Not that I could continue the friendship after this vacation. Is there such a thing as a friendship vacation fling?

  Dixie reached out for a hug. Penny stepped back. “You’re wasting time.”

  Dixie looked sad but nodded. “Okay. Mind if I sit?” Without waiting for an answer, she sat in the same chair Penny had when she returned after the Lobby Fiasco.

  “I guess not,” Penny said and sat on the small couch.

  “I know you’re pissed at Cash but why are you mad at me?”

  Penny lifted both eyebrows. “You both lied to me.”

  “I never said he sold commodities. He said that. And before you go off, he had a good reason.”

  “And?”

  “Okay. You need to understand the family dynamic. There were five of us. Kids, I mean. The parents make seven.”

  “I can add, Dixie.” And be jealous of having all those family members to rely on.

  “We were always messing around. Food fights—outside, mostly—pranks, anything to cause an uproar.”

  Penny watched as Dixie’s eyes focused on nothing. She had a beautiful smile on her face. And Penny felt a sharp stab in her heart.

  Dixie shook her head. “Anyway, all the girls read romance novels. Historical was a favorite. And we teased Cash mercilessly that, since he was the oldest, he had to get married first. They did that back in the Regency era. So, since Cash finally decided to look for a woman he could marry, he was stunned when he found out that I, the youngest, was engaged to be married. I think it made him kind of go crazy.”

  “You’re telling me that he finds a woman he professes he might be able to love, and his first reaction is to lie to her? I find that difficult to believe. Especially based on childhood teasing.”

  Dixie sat back. “He didn’t lie because of that.”

  Penny waited. “Well, why did he lie to me?”

  “He told me the first time you two talked you said how you hated farms and hard work and dirty fingernails. He didn’t want to run you off before he got to know you. And you got to know him.”

  “When it would be much more appropriate to run me off after he got to know me.”

  “No!” Dixie got up to sit next to her on the couch. “He wanted to find out if he could change your mind. Make you love the life like he does.”

  Penny turned her face away. It was the second time we spoke that I lied to him. But I can’t tell her I was lying too and that I love farm life.

  “There’s one thing I know for sure,” Dixie said. “Well, make that two. One, he loves you, Penny. I’ve never seen him look at another woman like he looks at you.” That got her attention. “I’ve never seen him like this. He called me before he left and begged me to talk to you. He didn’t have time to do it himself.”

  “He could have taken one minute to—”

  “You have no idea how he loves his dairy farm. He names the cows, for Pete’s sake! And he knew the conversation he has to have with you would take considerably more than one minute. He knows what he has to say and how he says it are important. He doesn’t want to hurt you anymore.”

  Penny thought about what Dixie had revealed. She’d seen him look at her when Penny couldn’t. And Dixie knew his expression better than she did. Maybe she’d wait until he came back and see what he had to say for himself.

  “You said there were two things you knew for sure. What’s the other one?”

  “He’s a complete idiot and moron when it comes to women.”

  Penny struggled to hide a grin. “That’s not exactly a secret.”

  Why should I be miserable when Cash is just as miserable? If he loves the farm like Dixie claims, I can reveal my own lies. Maybe we can forgive each other.

  “Dixie, I have something to tell you.”

  Dixie perked up. “Yeah? What’s that?”

  And Penny told her the whole miserable truth.

  * * *

  Cash and Hendry had cleaned out around the electrical panel. Cash watched as Hendry disassembled the panel. He took off the door, unscrewed the large bolt that held the pipe with the wires inside and lifted the case off the wall.

  “Look at that,” Hendry said.

  Cash looked. “That doesn’t look good.”

  “Nope, it’s a short in the wires. See where the covering is melted?”

  “Yeah. But the wires look funny.”

  “That’s because they’re about a hundred years old.”

  “Oh, wow. Guess we got our twenty-nine cents out of them, huh?”

  Hendry laughed and started working inside the panel.

  “Cash?”

  Shock froze him in place. That was Penny. He was sure of it.

  Hendry looked over his shoulder. “Go ahead, boss. I knew you were angsting over something when you got back.”

  He clapped Hendry on the shoulder. “Thanks for noticing. And not saying anything.” He walked out to greet his woman. So what if his stomach was in twelve knots and his heart aching. He prayed for the right words to convince her to love him back. To love his dairy farm.

  And to marry him.

  He walked into the sunlight. It was warm. He shaded his eyes and saw her standing near the oak tree his parents had planted when he was born. Her hair was loose and being gently lifted by the soft breeze. They stared at each other until Penny ran up to him and threw her arms around him. They kissed and hugged.

  “Penny, I’m so sorry,” he said when they finally came up for air.

  “So am I.” She stepped back. “I know you’re busy but could you spare a few minutes to talk?”

  “I can spare an entire—” Don’t say lifetime. Not yet. “Hour. Whatever you need.”

  He took her hand and led her around to the back of the house. He had a private, no-cows-allowed pond off in the woods. He swung her hand but she had clammed up and looked nervous. Maybe she came by—how did she find the farm?

  “How did you get here?”

  She lifted her eyebrows and glanced over at her car.

  “I mean, how did you know where the farm is?”

  “Dixie told me. She even plugged the address into my GPS.”

  “Good ol’ Dixie.” He’d have to remember to thank his sister. Profusely. />
  Penny nodded. “Yeah.”

  “What made you change your mind? You know, about me, uh, not telling you the whole truth?”

  She looked forward. “What’s this?”

  They had arrived at his pond. “It’s a cow-free zone. My personal swimming hole.”

  Large oak trees shaded a glade in the woods. The water shimmered where the sun shone through the leaves. It was cool and featured a fire pit, a barbecue and a scattering of outdoor chairs.

  “It’s beautiful.” She wrapped an arm around his waist and gave him a hug.

  “I’m glad you like it.” He let go of her, as hard as that was, and brought two chairs together. “Have a seat.”

  She sat down without taking her eyes off the pond, crossed her long, tanned legs and swung her leg seductively. Her bright red toenails caught his eye. They were displayed along with her delicate strap sandals. Sandals that wouldn’t take much on the farm to get destroyed.

  Cash rubbed his mouth. Maybe she was right. She didn’t belong on a dirty farm slaving away at keeping house and cooking his dinner. She needed the bright lights of a city, the clear sidewalks of a resort hotel so she could show off her beautiful feet that would carry her into the nearest salon to pamper herself.

  “Why did you come?” he asked surprised at the aggression in his tone.

  She looked at him. “I thought…”

  “What did you think? That I’d throw myself at your gorgeous feet and apologize for living my life the way I want to? That I need to?” He got up and paced. “I’m very happy here.”

  “I’m glad you’ve found happiness in your work and life. I wish I could.”

  He turned back to her. Striding over to her, he leaned down and put his hands on the arms of the plastic chair. A plastic chair!

  “Look. Visiting a farm for a couple of weeks in the summer is nothing. A farm is hard work. I’m up at or before dawn, down at the barn to set up the milking. I have a large herd and the milking alone takes two or three hours. Then there are stalls to clean, udders to check for inflammation, calves to check for diarrhea, dehydration and pneumonia. Then there are the books to keep up with, feed and supplies to order and, and…” What? Am I trying to run her off?

  “And cows to check for pregnancy, culling out calves that were sick at birth and won’t produce adequate milk when they’re grown. Plus I saw you have fields of sorghum and other grasses so you grow most if not all of your own feed. I know, Cash. I know.”

  He blinked and straightened. “How do you know all that from a couple of summer visits?”

  “I didn’t visit a farm during the summer.”

  Surprised, he grimaced. “You lied about summer vacation?”

  She gave a self-deprecating laugh. “Yeah. I did.”

  Cash was completely confused. He took the other seat. “Why, Penny? What did you gain by it?”

  He waited while she looked off in the distance.

  “I have a story to tell you.”

  When she didn’t continue, he said, “Okay.”

  She looked directly into his eyes. She was very serious and the seductively swaying leg was now bouncing on the ground. He could hear the oak leaves being pounded into crumbs.

  “You’re not going to like it.”

  * * *

  She watched his face. He was confused but seemed ready to listen.

  “I was raised on a dairy farm.” She held up a hand when he started to speak. She continued when he settled back. “My mother died when I was very young. It broke something in my father. He never remarried, never dated, he just worked the farm. From morning to night, he tended the cows and calves. When I grew up a little, he let me help. I was allowed to give orphaned calves their bottles, change the water and take care of the cows that were kept in the shed for one reason or another.

  “When I got older, I worked my way into helping with the calving.”

  Cash gasped.

  “I was practically in charge of calving before my father realized it. He went along because there was too much work for just him and the two or three hands he kept. I loved working with the cows and their babies.” She let herself smile at the memory. “There was one cow, Conchita—”

  He scoffed but she ignored him.

  “She was a great mother. Very fertile and an exceptional milk producer. She’d follow me around and lip at my braid, or poke me in the back looking for a treat.” Her smile faded. “She died giving birth to her ninth calf.”

  “That’s amazing for a dairy cow.”

  She nodded. “I cried for days. But not in front of my father. By now he was getting worried about me. He said I didn’t belong on a farm. That I was made for nicer things than milking machines and squalling calves.” She looked directly at him again. “But I loved it. Every minute of it.

  “Then my father sent me away to a boarding school in Connecticut. He’d been working so hard and saving so he could get me off the farm.”

  “Why?”

  “He believed my mother worked herself to death on the farm. He didn’t want that for me.”

  “How did she die?”

  “She had an aneurysm. The doctors had told him she’d probably been born with a weakened blood vessel in her brain but he didn’t believe them.” She sighed.

  “Anyway, he sent me to my aunt’s in New York City during the summer. She was a teacher and welcomed me with love and a woman’s attention. We went shopping. And when we were done, we went shopping again. I had a wardrobe the envy of every girl in my school. And I hated it. All I wanted was to take care of the cows! And I was dragged all over New York City to buy everything my father thought I should have.”

  “You should have all that. You deserve it, Penny.”

  “It wasn’t the shopping or the clothes I hated, it was being away from the dairy.”

  This time she took his hands. She turned them palms up and rubbing the palms with her thumbs. He tried to pull them away but she held on. “These hands are beautiful.”

  “No, they’re dirty and callused.”

  “Like I said. Beautiful.” She felt the shimmer of tears but didn’t hold them back. “I cried when I lost my calluses.” She let go of his hands to wipe a couple of tears off her face.

  “Then, last fall, my father died. Cancer. I was devastated. I knew he loved me and did what he thought was best. But I was all alone.”

  “What about your aunt?”

  “She passed away four years ago.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  She gave a tired smile. “So was I, but not as sorry when I went to the reading of my father’s will. He had sold the dairy to a conglomerate two weeks before he died.”

  “What?”

  “And left me two and a half million dollars so I could live the kind of life he wanted for me.”

  “Oh, my God.”

  “He betrayed me, Cash.”

  He grabbed her hands. “No, Penny. He loved you. He didn’t want you to work as hard as he had. He wanted the best for you.”

  “The best for me was the dairy farm.”

  “No.”

  “Yes.” She scrutinized his face and the emotions that ran across it. She didn’t like what she saw. It was the typical male I-know-better-than-you-little-girl look. I’m starting to think all the best men in my life have that look perfected. Best men?

  “Anyway, I was at the Casa Blanca Resort & Spa trying on the lifestyle my father wanted for me. You see, I loved him, too. So I would try it.”

  “And?”

  “I didn’t like it. It’s nice for a vacation but I couldn’t live like that all the time. I’d go crazy.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  Here was the sticky part. She didn’t know which way he’d go because he seemed to be thinking like her father.

  “I’m going to live on a dairy farm.”

  His head jerked up. “What? You think you could run a dairy farm by yourself? You know how much work it is. You watched your father pour everything he had into i
t.”

  “And he made it a great success.”

  “But he had no life but the farm. You know that.”

  “Yes. But maybe I could find a job on a dairy farm…?”

  This time his face brightened. A smile crept across his mouth and he pulled her to her feet. He hugged her hard and buried his face in her hair. And whispered to her.

  “I know of a decently successful dairy farm that could use help with the calves.”

  Tears leaked from her eyes. “You do?”

  He pulled back and looked around. “Yeah. This one.”

  With tears streaming down her face, she managed a wobbly grin. “This one?”

  “Yeah. But there are conditions.”

  She took a deep breath and stepped away from him. “What are they?”

  With a grin, he said, “You have to marry me. You have to love me until I die. You have to work that manicure off your beautiful hands and build up some calluses. And you have to get some work boots.” He stopped.

  “I’m sorry, Cash.”

  His grin faded.

  “I already have boots.”

  His smile lit up the glade. She swore she saw it reflected by the water of the pond.

  “And the rest?”

  “Yes, yes and yes!”

  He gathered her up in his arms and swung her in a circle. “Whoo-hoo!”

  She laughed as she flew through the air. Coming back to earth, she looped her arms around his neck.

  “Make it official.”

  He took her arms from around his neck and got down on one knee. “Penny Sykes, will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?”

  “Let me think… Yes!”

  And he gave her the first kiss of love.

  * * *

  Thank you for reading Tend My Heart.

  For more information on Marian H. Griffin, visit www.marianhgriffin.com.

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