I Carry Your Heart (Heart Series Book 1)

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I Carry Your Heart (Heart Series Book 1) Page 5

by C. M. King


  I needed a plan of action and I needed one now.

  It wasn’t going to be easy though. Joel and Mike were stood with a crowd of girls swarming around them, like bees around honey. It was hard to see the girls through all their fakery. Their overly long hair extensions were backcombed within an inch of their lives, and their makeup plastered on so thick, it looked like it might crack at any moment.

  These girls did not do subtle, it wasn’t in their vocabulary. Neither were their outfits, taking the less is more tag to a whole new level. They really liked to flash the flesh, leaving nothing to the imagination.

  Anger surged through me, watching them fight for Joel’s attention. They were pathetic, pawing him at every available opportunity, while loud fake laughter left their overly glossed lips.

  I had been forced to spend enough time around them both to know those idiots weren’t that funny. It was just business as usual, flirting and trying to score girls.

  God they were so predictable.

  When Mike left to grab some drinks, I decided this was my perfect opportunity.

  It was now or never.

  I would have my moment with Joel and then move on.

  I excused myself from Elijah, who was busy sharing styling tips with a girl he’d literally just met. I looked over to see Joel leaning up against the wall by the back door. His sole concentration was on his phone, busy texting away.

  With every step that took me nearer, my heart beat faster. I swore everyone around me could hear, it was like a drum roll inside my chest.

  I was on the verge of passing out, barely metres away. My mouth went dry and I licked my lips, in a vain attempt to add some moisture. A rush of fear ran right through me, the moment I felt my heel wobble and my breath hitched.

  Oh god no.

  My whole body flew forward and I watched in horror, as the cold, hard ground grew nearer. I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the pain, and for the label of being known as the girl who face planted at a party.

  I gasped in surprise, the moment a pair of strong arms caught me. They instantly tightened around me, pulling me into their strong, hard, sculpted chest. I held on for dear life. My fingers gripped tightly the muscular upper arms, trying to compose myself. My face rested against the warm body, as my head filled with an intoxicating scent.

  “Hey, are you okay? Good job I was here to stop you from hitting the ground.” He chuckled.

  I groaned at his words, instantly reigniting the memory of the day we first met. I slowly lifted my head, looking straight into his soft, warm eyes. The moment our eyes connected the smile dropped from his face.

  “Izzy,” he whispered, his eyes gave me the once over. “Wow, you look…beautiful.”

  A warm blush crept over my face, as my whole body reacted to Joel’s sincere words.

  He actually thought I was beautiful?

  The death stares soon brought me back down to earth with a bump. I turned to find three pairs of narrowed overly made up eyes boring right into me, shooting me daggers. If looks could kill, right now I’d be dead.

  I smiled inwardly, enjoying their jealous reaction. “Hey Joel,” I breathed, acting cool and casual. Then blushed realising my fingers were still clutching those impressive biceps.

  I quickly pushed away from him and straightened out my dress. “I’ll see you later,” I said casually over my shoulder. I headed back inside for a drink, grinning wildly at his reaction. It had been way better than I ever expected, I was actually floating with happiness right now at his response.

  Once inside a hand grabbed me and I squealed in shock, before realising who it was. “Oh my god, I just witnessed the whole thing, spill.” Elijah’s eyes were wide and filled with excitement, prompting me to talk.

  “There’s nothing to tell,” I murmured blushing. I was not happy my secret was finally out, it was something I’d kept guarded for so long. Elijah was ready to begin his interrogation I could tell, but I was on way too much of a high to deal with his barrage of questions.

  “Oh sweetie, his face said it all, he was checking you out. I know that look, you should have seen his face fall when you walked away.”

  “Really?” I asked in disbelief.

  Was he really taken back by me?

  He smiled at my look of doubt. “If you wanted a reaction from Joel then you got it, speaking of which.” He paused and then smiled. “Hey Joel.” He gave my arm a squeeze, before walking off grinning. I turned around to see Joel standing behind me.

  Oh god. What do I say?

  “Hey Iz,” he said, still looking completely dumbfounded.

  “Something wrong Joel?” I asked innocently, enjoying his reaction.

  He shook his head, as if to snap himself out of his trance. “Err no, sorry errrm I came in for a drink.” He blushed and I mentally did a high five in my head. He grabbed a beer from the counter and took a long draw from it, looking like he really needed it.

  Weirdly it was like I was in some form of alternative universe. He was the flabbergasted one, frantically running his fingers through his hair. All those years of teasing and making me look like an idiot, the roles had finally been reversed.

  I smiled, enjoying my moment.

  I had waited long enough.

  “Where’s Mike?” I asked, breaking the awkward silence. Joel scanned the room and his eyes eventually came to rest on Mike, who was stood chatting to a group of blonde girls.

  Surprise surprise.

  “I’ll let you get back to them, you’re missing out on precious flirting time.” I waved my hand dismissively and walked past him, as the usual wave of rejection crashed over me.

  He grabbed my elbow and for a few seconds caressed it slowly with his thumb, sending delicious tingles through my body.

  “I’m fine here with you,” he whispered. His soft, warm breath tickled against my ear, almost making me jump.

  Every hair stood on end at his close proximity. I felt the heat radiating from him; the temperature was definitely rising. I turned slowly and looked deep into his eyes and smiled.

  God he was gorgeous.

  I felt the familiar pull, as the air around us turned electric. My heart hammered deep in my chest, as my breathing became more erratic by the second. I needed to calm down and act normal. Well, as normal as I could possibly manage around Joel.

  “So did you enjoy the match today?” I asked casually, trying to disguise every emotion I was feeling being expressed on my face.

  An amused smile crossed his lips. He knew how much I hated football, but I was at a loss for words. My mind always seemed to go blank around him, like my brain forgot how to function. If I wanted to keep him here, then I had to employ under hand tactics to distract him. He and Mike were always off watching their beloved Arsenal, and unfortunately for me it was the only thing that sprang to mind.

  The frosty glares from across the room made me turn, to find Joel’s fan club had followed us inside. Anger radiated in their eyes, they were seriously pissed, which delighted me even more.

  Ha, take that bitches!

  “The match was great thanks, we won, we’re now third in the league.” He grinned, looking overly excited about his team’s performance.

  That meant nothing at all to me. I was out of my league but I nodded my head in feigned interest, blundering on with the conversation.

  “Who were you playing Man United?” The only player I knew was Beckham, who had previously played for Man United. It wasn’t because of his football skills though, just the fact he was hot. Elijah and I had enjoyed perving over his collection of underwear ads. He was simply perfection, but Joel didn’t need to know that.

  Joel laughed, looking slightly amused. “No Tottenham.”

  One thing I did know a derby match was a big deal to the fans. The rivalry went through the roof with the supporters, like winning was life or death.

  “Ahh, so you’ll be happy then, winning a derby match.” I smiled, feeling smug I knew that. I might just make it through this conve
rsation unscathed after all.

  He raised his eyebrows in surprise and grinned, nodding his head in delight. “Yeah, can’t stand Tottenham, it was so good to see them lose heavily today.” He carried on staring intently into my eyes and I became lost. I knew I needed to say something fast, but his beautiful eyes were far too hypnotic for me to even care. He cleared his throat and I flinched, I’d practically zoned out right in front of him.

  Huh?

  Shit!

  What the hell were we talking about again?

  “What was the score?” I asked, feeling my face flush. I was hoping he’d failed to notice my drop in concentration. Who cared about football? I just wanted to continue gazing into those magnificent eyes.

  “7-2.” His eyes remained locked on mine.

  “Wow.” I pretended to look shocked. “Must have been quite a match, no wonder you’re out celebrating.”

  “Yeah.” He took another sip of beer and the air around us shifted, becoming slightly awkward. As the uncomfortable silence between us grew ever larger.

  A loud groan left my lips, when I noticed a certain someone catch my eye. To my dismay Ryan was walking towards us. His smile grew wider with each step he took.

  Did this guy not ever take a hint?

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” Joel asked, looking concerned by my sudden change in mood.

  I bit my lip in obvious frustration. “Oh just this guy I thought I’d got rid of him,” I murmured. How dare Ryan hijack our special moment together!

  “Hey Ryan,” I chirped with fake enthusiasm. The sweetness in my voice disguised the bitterness, at his untimely intrusion.

  “Izzy, I thought you’d left.” He grinned.

  I didn’t share the same sentiment.

  He stood close beside me, so our bodies were practically touching. Which made me shiver but not in a good way. The next thing I felt was Joel’s muscular arm wrapped around my shoulder, he bent down and kissed my hair.

  I almost fainted with shock.

  Oh. My. God

  “Sorry Ryan, Izzy is with me.” A large grin spread across his face, watching Ryan’s face drop.

  Really?

  I quickly recovered, pulling a pretend sorry face to Ryan.

  But I wasn’t sorry at all.

  We walked off quietly laughing together. Joel’s arm remained around me, as we made our way back out into the garden. It felt so natural, like it always belonged there. I nestled my head in closer, feeling his body next to mine.

  We silently walked over to a quiet corner, sitting down on the swing seat. Our bodies melded together, slowly rocking back and forth. His fingers softly caressed my arm, each tender touch sent shivers through my body. The gentle, rocking motion slowly hypnotised me. I curled up tight against him and lay breathing him in, just staring up at the stars.

  We sat for a few moments in silence. The sky was now fully dark and all the fairy lights twinkled like tiny diamonds in the distance. The lanterns were lit and we basked in the warm, golden glow. It was magical, the perfect setting. Even if it was just for tonight, I knew this memory would exist in my head forever, where I’d relive it a thousand times more.

  I let out a soft sigh of pleasure, concentrating on Joel’s fingers. His lips softly kissed my hair and I closed my eyes savouring his tender touch. It felt so good.

  He tensed a little beside me and I turned to look at him, questioning his reaction.

  Had I done something wrong?

  He smiled softly in return, swallowing slowly. He licked his lips, like he was debating what to say next. Lifting his hand, he gently cupped my face and softly stroked my cheekbone with his thumb.

  “I know I’ve said it already but you do look beautiful tonight, you took my breath away before.”

  And now I officially couldn’t breathe.

  I closed my eyes unable to take his words in. It was like I was dreaming right now. Had I misheard him? But for a moment I wanted to pretend his words were real. Joel began to stroke my face again, slowly drawing me back to the present.

  “You think I’m beautiful?” I whispered. My eyes still remain closed, unable to look into his, until I heard the confirmation this was real.

  “I’ve always thought you were beautiful, regardless of what you were wearing but the way you look tonight…I thought I was dreaming when I caught you.”

  My eyes fluttered open in surprise and I smiled. “Ahh yeah, my knight in shining armour once again, remember when you rescued me the first time?”

  He smiled, like he was replaying the moment too. It wasn’t such a fond memory for me, I grimaced in horror remembering my younger self.

  “God I was such a geek back then, you must have thought I was pathetic.” I closed my eyes, avoiding his soft gaze. My eyes sprang open when his hands gently cupped my face, his eyes silently begging me to look at him.

  “Never, you were so sweet and innocent, I love that quality about you. Back then you barely spoke, you never had your nose out of a book. It was charming, you were a cute little book worm.” He grinned at the last part.

  Hang on, bookworm?

  I scowled at the expression. No girl ever wanted to be compared to a worm.

  “Hmmm book worm? That’s hardly a compliment!” I remarked, slightly irritated by his choice of name.

  “Well the bookworm changed into a beautiful butterfly.” His lips pulled up at the corners, at the look now crossing my face.

  “I think you’re getting your insects mixed up Joel.” I chuckled but then noticed the mischievous glint in his eyes.

  “You do realise you’ve been attracting a lot of attention sitting here. I think most of the guys at this party would have hit on you by now, if it hadn’t been for me.”

  I snorted at his observation. “Joel, I think you may have had too much to drink, that or you need your eyesight checked.”

  “Iz, you don’t realise how beautiful you are and I like that quality about you. Most of the girls I know play on their looks to get guys.”

  The sincerity was there in his eyes for me to believe his words, but all I could think about was all the girls he’d been with. “Yeah, well you would know cause you’ve been with enough to testify to that.”

  His face dropped and a look of hurt flashed in his eyes.

  Shit.

  Why had I suddenly developed foot in mouth disease? I regretted the words the moment they left my lips. I wanted to rip my own tongue out right now.

  He pulled in a deep breath and let out a huge sigh, as if to compose himself before he spoke. “I know I’ve been around Iz and I’m not proud of myself, but there is so much more to me than that. I know you see it, please tell me you don’t think that is all I am. I couldn’t bear to think you thought that badly of me.” He frowned and his eyes dropped down to the ground, as if he was almost afraid of what my answer would be.

  I grabbed both of his hands and he flinched with the contact, but then equally held on tight. “Joel, I want to believe there’s so much more, but why do you do it? Why be with all these women? You need to find someone to love and settle down with. You’re worth so much more than the women you screw. They don’t care about you, they act like you’re some trophy prize. Please do it for me, if not for yourself.” My voice cracked at the sound of my own words. I had waited so long to say them, to tell him he deserved so much more.

  I looked up into his strained face, as a single tear slowly rolled down my cheek, to which he gently brushed it away with his thumb.

  “Don’t cry over me Iz, I’m not worth it.” His sad smile reflected the pain he kept buried deep inside.

  I squeezed his hands tighter. “Yes you are Joel, I will always be there for you. Please remember that, if you ever need to talk just ask.” I silently willed him to believe my words. I wanted to be there for him more than anything.

  “Iz, I need to tell you something.” Fear flashed across his face. I smiled reassuringly, pleading with him to go ahead.

  My eyes gazed deep into his, hoping to hear t
he words I’d dreamt every night.

  I held my breath waiting.

  His mouth slowly opened and my eyes grew wider in anticipation.

  “Joel.”

  Fuck.

  At the sound of Mike’s voice we both sprang apart. “There you are, we’re heading into town now, are you coming?”

  A look of hesitation crossed his face, as he glanced at me.

  Please choose me.

  I saw the anxiety there in his face, with the internal struggle of deciding just who to disappoint.

  I silently willed him and begged him with every breath to stay.

  “Yeah, it’s getting quiet, let’s go where there’s more action.”

  Mike grinned with obvious delight. “We should be in for a good night.” He smirked, winking at Joel.

  Repulsion spread through me and I scowled at Mike’s words. I dropped my gaze, to avoid him spotting the obvious look of disappointment in my eyes.

  “See you later Iz,” he whispered.

  I let out a large sigh, looking up, as I watched him walk off with Mike. The smug smiles of the bitches winning their trophy back now burnt into my brain. I glanced at my watch, it was just after midnight. I had officially turned back into Cinderfuckingrella.

  Chapter 4 – Changes

  Voices filtered through the room, as I took my place for Sunday lunch. Right now I would rather stick pins in my eyes, then be forced to look at Joel. But the only other option was to listen to my Mother screech on about how I needed to eat more. That option was far less desirable, so I reluctantly took my seat, hoping that I would soon be put out of my misery.

  Mike was being more vocal than usual. His voice was like nails down a blackboard, every syllable loud and irritating. I shot him a look of disgust, but he remained totally oblivious. He was animatedly chatting away, describing every little detail of his hook up from the night before. His wide grin made me want to punch him repeatedly, even more so after his unwelcoming interference last night.

  Even subconsciously he had the power to piss me off. He was a constant pain in the butt, sticking his nose in where it truly wasn’t welcome. I hated how much control he had over Joel. Why was he so weak that he couldn’t say no? I felt the knife twist again, reminding me of his rejection. The tiny piece of hope I had held onto had now evaporated, vanishing into nothing but despair.

 

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