Rose, Exposed

by Afton Locke

  A pause ensued. “No, Mama. I quit so I could be with Rose at her school.”

  Something struck the table, probably Mrs. Johnson’s fist.

  “Boy, you haven’t got the sense you were born with,” his mother said. “I can’t believe you gave up all that money for some prissy white-looking gal.”

  Prissy!

  “How can you turn your back on this family when your papa isn’t even cold in his grave?” the woman asked.

  “I would never desert my family.” The pitch of his voice lowered. “This is just temporary.”

  A snort was the only reply. Rose cringed again and her fingers dug into the rough, shaggy bark of the tree. She should take better care of her artist’s hands, but she didn’t care if she ripped them to shreds. Nothing could be more painful than what she heard. Was this how Leroy had felt when Father pointed a gun at his head?

  “Will you be all right?” he asked his mother more calmly. “Do you have enough to eat and all?”

  “Yes. I’ve set aside a lot of what you sent. It ain’t so much for me. You need money for your future.”

  “Mama, Rose is my future.”

  “Leroy Johnson,” the woman said slowly. “If you marry that girl, so help me, I will never speak to you again for the rest of my breathing days.”

  Rose had heard enough. Her face tingled with shock as she hurried toward the tables to sit and wait until Leroy took her back to the school.

  Would this miserable night ever end?

  For the first time since she’d started school, she missed her parents. Did they worry about her or were they happier now that the reason for their tension was out of their house?

  If her father could see her now, he’d say, “I told you so. You don’t belong with those kind of people.”

  Could he be right? Did she belong at that white school more than she did here? Pretending to be white wasn’t easy either, but it was better than this.

  Family was obviously important to Leroy. It was clear he could never have both her and his family in his life. If he chose her, he’d be miserable. She couldn’t do that to him.

  He came out of the house minutes later. His face was drawn with tension from the encounter with his mother, but he still had a smile for Rose. Unshed tears burned her eyes when he kissed her on the cheek.

  “I’m sorry to leave you so long,” he told her. “I had to attend to a family matter.”

  “That’s all right,” she replied, her voice thick. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  He sat next to her and took her hand. “What is it, sweet girl?”

  “Leroy, I can’t marry you.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Leroy dropped Rose’s hand when he heard her words. “You can’t marry me? Why the hell not?”

  She gestured to indicate everything around them. “I don’t fit here.”

  “You’re going to have to be more specific than that.”

  A dull ache filled his chest while he waited for her answer. He hated to admit it, but part of him wasn’t even surprised she’d changed her mind. Her agreement to marry him after they’d made love in the shed had been halfhearted.

  “Your family doesn’t like me.” Her voice was rough, as if she were trying hard not to cry.

  “Sadie is having marital problems and Mama doesn’t like anybody at first. Hell, she didn’t even like Pearl for a while and she’s kin. She’ll come around.”

  “You told me they would.” Rose looked down at her pale arms. “But how could they when I look so different?”

  “Pearl adores you,” he pointed out.

  “How could she? I only saw her for a few minutes that night on the pier. She’s very different from your mother and sister.”

  “She grew up in a fancy house in Annapolis and they didn’t.” The weight on Leroy’s shoulders lightened a little. “Is that the only thing bothering you? Mama and Sadie?”

  “Isn’t that enough? Being here has showed me how important family is to you. If we married, you’d have to choose between them and me.”

  Leroy rubbed his face as his stomach sank to his shoes. If she only knew how right she was…or had she overheard Mama? God, he hoped not.

  Well, he planned to marry this woman whether Mama and Sadie approved or not. When they got to know Rose, they’d realize how kind and unpretentious she was and would accept her as one of their own. But how could he convince her of that?

  “You also gave up your job for me,” she added.

  He took both her cold hands in his. “I’d give up everything for you.”

  “But I don’t want you to. When you add up my family’s disapproval, yours and your job, the price is much too high.”

  He shook his head while he paced in a tight circle. Damn it! The more they talked, the further she slipped away, pulling his innards with her. Pretty soon she’d drift out to sea until she was completely gone. He had to grab hold, reel her back in. He’d rather die than lose this girl.

  “You’ll feel differently after a good night’s rest and going to church with us tomorrow,” he said.

  “Church?”

  He nodded. “We’re spending the night. You can sleep in Sadie’s old room.”

  “I can’t spend the night here.” She crossed her arms over her breasts. “You didn’t tell me anything about that.”

  “I thought I did. The school is closed all weekend, isn’t it?”

  She was about to answer when a motorized boat came to shore. Caleb and Pearl had finally arrived. Leroy cursed under his breath. They had the worst timing. Or maybe it was the best timing. He hoped his cousin could talk some sense into Rose.

  He walked toward the boat, wishing the conversation had never happened.

  “How are you, Caleb?” he asked, helping him with the lines.

  The other man’s face was more serious than usual and kind of haggard too. “Exhausted.”

  That must mean he hadn’t yet found a replacement. The idea filled Leroy with relief and guilt at the same time.

  “I only came so Pearl could visit her family,” Caleb added. “How’s your new job?”

  Leroy looked down as the wet rope slid through his fingers. “It’s all right.”

  Seeing his former boss made him feel the loss of his job afresh. Telling Mama he couldn’t send her money for a while was worse than having his hands cut off. It seemed everybody disapproved of him tonight for one reason or another.

  When Pearl disembarked from the boat, he hugged her.

  “You brought Rose,” she said, looking over his shoulder. “I’m so glad.”

  Leroy shook his head. “Mama and Sadie have been pretty hard on her. She’s ready to call off the wedding.”

  “Wedding?” Caleb’s mouth half lifted into a grin. “You mean you finally got that girl to agree to settle down?”

  Leroy eyed Rose sitting at the table with her arms crossed. “Not anymore.”

  “She doesn’t look like she’s having a very good time,” Caleb commented.

  Why had he brought her here? Leroy wondered. It had been one of the stupidest things he’d ever done. He shouldn’t have introduced her to his family until after they were married. Then neither side could do anything about it.

  “Pearl, please talk some sense into her,” Leroy begged. “And be nicer to her than Mama and Sadie were.”

  She winced, as if remembering her own early experiences with the two difficult women. “I’ll do my best.”

  If the two people who had risked everything for love couldn’t convince Rose what they had was worth fighting for, nobody could.

  “Hello, Rose. Do you mind if I sit next to you?”

  Rose glanced up to see Pearl Rockfield standing there. “Go ahead, but I’m afraid I’m not good company right now.”

  Pearl poured herself some tea from the nearby pitcher and took the seat next to her. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

  Rose shook her head. “No, thank you.”

  “At last year’s fish fry,
I passed out right over there.” The other woman pointed to a spot a few yards away.

  Curiosity suppressed Rose’s troubled thoughts. “You did? Why?”

  Next, Pearl pointed to a good-looking man playing ball. “That’s Jimmy Clark. I agreed to marry him at this fish fry because I thought it was the right thing to do. The shock flattened me.”

  “But you married Caleb,” Rose pointed out.

  “Eventually.” Pearl’s generous mouth pulled into a smile of fond remembrance. “The next morning, Leroy rowed me to the oyster plant, where I sneaked off with Caleb in his boat for days.”

  “Did you both want marriage? It would have been easier if you hadn’t.”

  “I wanted it before he did.” She shrugged. “I didn’t want to shame my mother’s memory by living in sin. More than that, I wanted the world to know I was Caleb Rockfield’s woman and he was my man.”

  She made marriage sound so easy, as if there’d never been a doubt in her mind. Why was the same decision so hard for her?

  “You and Caleb must have faced a lot of obstacles,” Rose said.

  Pearl nodded. “We faced plenty. He had more to lose than I did, but our love made everything worth it.”

  Rose turned to study Pearl’s profile. This woman might look delicate on the outside, but a steel will lurked inside.

  She traced a pattern in the quilt tablecloth. “I wish I could be that strong.”

  Since Mary and Cali weren’t here, it would be nice to confide in someone. All of her thoughts and feelings poured out in a jumbled heap. She even admitted she’d eavesdropped earlier.

  “Aunt Wilma and Sadie aren’t the friendliest women,” Pearl agreed. “Wilma thought I had fancy airs and Sadie was jealous of me at first.”

  “Why are they like that?” Rose asked.

  Pearl shrugged one shoulder. “They’re jealous and suspicious of anyone different. I arrived here with no money when my mother passed away, so I had no choice but to live with them.”

  “That must have been awful,” Rose said.

  Thank goodness she had the school to go to. She had no intention of spending the night here. Apparently, the color of her skin wasn’t the only issue. Pearl was darker and had endured the same rejection. Her green eyes definitely made her different, though.

  “It was.”

  But Rose had watched the women greet Pearl warmly when she’d arrived. “They accept you now, don’t they?”

  Pearl nodded. “It took a while. Be patient, Rose. In time, they’ll see how much you care about Leroy and accept you as family too. Once they do, you won’t find more loyal women anywhere.”

  Rose wasn’t so sure. Leroy’s family accepting her was about as unlikely as hers accepting him.

  “It’s different with me,” she insisted. “I’m not related and I look white.”

  “Rose, life is not easy. Neither is love. We all have struggles. We have to pay for what we want.”

  “Was it difficult moving to Pearl Point and starting over?” Rose asked.

  Pearl nodded. “It was hardest for Caleb, but we’re making it work and plan to have our own family there someday.”

  A ball rolled close to their table and a little girl ran after it, laughing.

  Rose grabbed Pearl’s arm. “Don’t do it.”

  “What?”

  All the loneliness and struggle of not belonging to either race overflowed inside her in a surging tide. So many evenings—sitting on the steps of her townhouse in Baltimore, wishing a child, any child, would play with her. Communicating with fairies just to keep from losing her mind. Not to mention the pressure Father had put on her when she came of age.

  “If you bring a half-breed into the world, it’ll wish it had never been born.”

  Pearl shook off her hand and lifted her chin. “What a horrible thing to say!”

  “I-I’m sorry.” In sentences as jagged as shards of broken glass, Rose tried to explain.

  The other woman’s green gaze blazed into hers. “Despite your trials, Rose, don’t you cherish life? What about your painting? What about the way you feel when Leroy kisses you? Do you really wish you’d never been born?”

  “No.” The tears Rose had struggled to hold in all evening finally poured out.

  Pearl held her with petite, but strong arms. When she was finished, she looked around, realizing most everyone had left. Caleb and Leroy joined them. It was getting dark, so Leroy put a lantern on the table.

  “We didn’t want to miss any lady talk.” Caleb set down a plate of raw oysters on the half shell. “Here you go, fresh from Pearl Point.”

  Rose hastily wiped her face. If the men had seen her crying, they didn’t admit it.

  “It’s too late for oysters,” Pearl protested. “Everyone has already eaten.”

  Leroy eyed the plate. “I’ll have one.”

  Rose watched as the slick blob disappeared into his mouth with a popping sound. How she ached to kiss him and find out if his lips tasted like the sea. If she decided not to marry him, though, she shouldn’t kiss or even see him ever again. She’d changed her mind often enough already. It wouldn’t be fair to him to keep torturing him. He needed to find happiness, even it if was with another woman, much as the thought knifed her in the belly.

  “So how do you like living in my house, Rose?” Caleb asked.

  “It’s lovely. You have wonderful taste.” She thought about her recent conversation with Pearl, realizing his home was one of the things he had given up for their love.

  “My former wife decorated it,” he admitted, “but Pearl and I had some times under that roof.”

  Rose finally smiled. “I share your old bed with the mayor’s daughter.”

  Caleb chortled and ate an oyster. “You can’t be serious. Pearl and I had some times in that bed too. Remember the thunderstorm…on the floor?”

  Pearl shifted in her seat and shot him a reproachful glance. “Caleb.”

  “Sorry. I got carried away,” her husband replied.

  “Leroy is the handyman,” Rose added, “so we can…could be near each other.” She was sorry she’d said it when Leroy looked down at his lap.

  “How convenient.” Caleb held out an oyster to his wife. “Come on, Pearl. Have one to celebrate how we met.”

  She turned her head away. “Get that thing away from me. I’m not hungry.”

  “Pearl didn’t like oysters at first,” he explained, “but she grew to love them. Didn’t you?”

  When he pushed it closer, just under her nose, she bolted from the table with her hand over her mouth.

  Caleb stared after her, looking dazed. “Oh, my God.”

  The three of them didn’t say a word until Pearl returned. Her face was an unhealthy color in the lamplight.

  “Are you all right?” Rose whispered. Guilt needled her palms when she wondered if her emotional outburst had brought this on.

  Pearl’s pretty mouth worked into a smile or a grimace—Rose wasn’t sure which.

  “I-I’m with child.”

  “Oh, my God,” Caleb said again. He grabbed his wife’s hands across the table. “Are you sure?”

  She nodded and smiled as a tear rolled down her cheek. “I’ve suspected for a while, but I didn’t want to say anything until I was certain.”

  “Yippee!” Caleb hooted, leaning across the table to plant a noisy kiss on his wife’s mouth. “I can’t believe it. I’m going to be a father.”

  Leroy shook his hand. “Congratulations.”

  When Leroy gazed at Rose with love in his eyes, she melted inside. I want you to have my child too, his eyes told her. Why couldn’t she be as brave as this other couple?

  “Yes, congratulations,” Rose told Pearl as she squeezed her hand. “I’m so sorry…about what I said earlier.”

  Pearl shook her head. “It’s all right. In fact, I can’t think of a better godmother for our child. Can you, Caleb?”

  “Why not?” he asked. “It seems our lives are already pretty entangled.”

&n
bsp; This was all wrong, Rose thought. She needed to disentangle herself from Leroy, not become part of his family. She had to admit Pearl went a long way toward making up for Leroy’s mother and sister, though.

  Caleb stood. “It’s late. I need to get Mother here home so she can rest tomorrow.”

  Pearl raised her chin while the rest of them stood too. “Just because I’m with child doesn’t mean I’m not going to do my fair share of work.”

  “We’ll see about that,” Caleb warned.

  “Can I impose upon you to take me back to Oyster Island?” Rose asked him.

  He frowned. “Well, sure, but isn’t Leroy taking you?”

  Leroy crossed his arms. “She’s spending the night with me here. Then she’s going to church with me tomorrow.”

  “No, I’m not,” she said. “I thought we already discussed it.”

  Leroy shot a glance at Pearl. “Didn’t my cousin change your mind?”

  Caleb rubbed his forehead. “We’ll be at the boat while you decide.”

  After the other two walked away, Rose and Leroy faced each other.

  “I hate it when you tell me what to do,” she said.

  He paced, looking restless enough to pound one hundred nails with a hammer. “And I can’t just stand here and lose you.”

  “The way you lost your father?” she asked.

  “What’s that got to do with anything?” He sighed and the raw pepper in his voice softened. “Please stay through tomorrow. Give Mama and Sadie another chance.”

  So much confusion swirled through her head and her heart she didn’t know what to do.

  “I need to get away from here,” she said. “I need to think.”

  “Maybe you’re right about that.” He kissed her lightly on the mouth. “Please don’t give up on us yet, sweet girl. I haven’t.”

  As she ran to the boat, she looked back once to see him standing there, watching her.

  * * * * *

  Early on Sunday morning, Rose walked down the street in Oyster Island to a hidden alley where her father’s car waited. She’d found his letter at the front door last night, asking her to meet him to see how she was doing at school.

  So much had happened in the past week, it was as if she hadn’t seen him in years. She’d lost her virginity, agreed to marry and then decided not to marry.