Hearts' Desires

by Anke Napp

  Finally outside of the no-smoking area, Vance lit the cigarette he had been toying with in his pocket for quite a while. He closed his eyes, inhaled and felt as if the world immediately became a friendlier place… Every cell of his body relaxed… Wonderful… Whatever would happen next did not matter, as long as he had his smokes!

  “… Feelin’ human again, eh?” Jake Bertoni closed in.

  “Yes… sort of… But I’ll need some coffee, too. Or better some espresso.”

  “I’ll need an espresso lake!”

  The two men walked to the next snack bar, where some of the crew were already hanging out, all of them looking more or less tired. Shortly thereafter, they sipped their beverages and waited for the caffeine to kick in, while they watched other passengers hurry through the terminal to the baggage claim area.

  “Ahh… don’t know what humankind did before coffee was invented…” Jake said with half closed eyes. “Must’ve been hell on earth… Look, there’s Lauren! Wow, she has switched her high-heels for tennis shoes! And still she looks gorgeous!”

  “Be careful, man! You cannot afford to pay alimony for a fifth ex-wife! You might be forced to work extra nightshifts as a taxi driver!”

  “Hey, you’re awake enough to find your sense of humor again, I see. – But she is not paying any attention to us anyway.”

  “Well, she took plenty of notice of ME during the flight, believe me! I’m not looking for more!”

  Lauren pressed her cell phone against the ear. On the other end of the very poor connection was her sister back in the States. “Why do you call me, dammit? I told you not to call me again with this crap!” Lauren hissed in the phone. “Where I am? In South Africa! … Yes, filming! What did you think?”

  She passed the snack bar without looking towards the other crew members. “No, I don’t have any money!” And if I did, I would not give it to you! “We are done, don’t you get it?! Don’t call me ever again! I have to work!”

  She hung up, cursing the fact that she had not changed phone numbers yet. It was a link to a past she wanted to forget ever existed. She was out; on her way up! She didn’t want to hear about unwanted pregnancies, brutal lovers sitting in jail for drug dealing or any other crap like that! Halting to put the cell away, the young woman finally noticed the others at the snack bar. Or better, she saw Vance and registered the rest of them marginally like someone would discern pebbles around a precious stone. Where the others looked exactly like people look after 26 hours of flight and airports – including herself, he managed to look simply… Lauren searched for words, and ended up with an unimaginative ‘hot’. She certainly was going to give a lot of effort to testing just how hot he was. Especially because he had not shown much interest in her so far.

  However, for now her fanciful thoughts came to an abrupt end, when Alison Cartwright showed up, directing everybody to the parking area where a bus awaited them.

  Outside, a broad-shouldered, balding man with beard was waiting for them: Max Dumont, production coordinator. And next to him, a slim but tall brown skinned boy. Grinning like an idiot, Lauren commented, while Alison introduced him as Thabo McKenzie. O my Gosh, and he is supposed to play my lover?! I’m getting sick already… A wonder he doesn’t still have braces!

  She glanced again towards Vance, who just raked his fingers through his short grey hair, before putting his hat on.

  “Good to see you, Alison!” Max embraced her, but she took care to keep a proper distance between them when they exchanged an ‘air-kiss’.

  “How was your flight?”

  “Everything went fine, thank you.”

  “I expected you two hours earlier!”

  Don’t get me started… “Yes, the usual delay because of cramped air space. Two extra hours in London! - You have already prepared everything at the location?”

  “Of course. I talked to the caterer again this morning. The sets and make-up-guys are on location already. Everything should be in great order and to your satisfaction.”

  “Catering…“ She observed skeptically, how two young team members began to load the luggage into the bus compartment. “…You did remember I am a Vegan, didn’t you, Max? -- Hey, you, be careful with the bags!”

  “Of course, Alison. Pure certified Vegan.”

  “Hopefully, the rest of us are not put on a diet?” Vance asked with a smile, feeling happy and relieved having his cigarettes within reach.

  Alison shot him an ice cold glance. He only failed to experience the full impact because of her sunglasses. “As long as you’re able to work – and I mean work at a 100 % - you can fill yourself up with anything you like. It is your health.”

  Vance raised his eyebrows and Jake grinned. Alison ‘Iceberg’ Cartwright was already living up to her reputation, oh yes!

  Alison entered the bus and sat behind the driver. She closed her eyes and waited for their transportation to get moving. Back after 15 years… She felt a not entirely pleasant sort of excitement, which had nothing to do with the Amphetamin pill she had taken earlier. Native soil… She felt odd, apprehensive, just like back then, when she left, eager to build a career and leave everything behind. Now she had that career and… felt even more dissatisfied, she noticed with a bit of frustration. Maybe the stress. The flight. Yes, this awful flight, of course! There was no reason why she should not be proud and satisfied with her achievements, even more so now that she was back in her old home country! She had proven to everyone what she was capable of, hadn’t she?!

  She heard the chatter of the other crew members behind her. For the most of them, Africa was terra incognita. She hoped no one would become sick, especially not Nora. That woman could not have found a worse time for raising the number of her family members! Alison ranted in her thoughts.

  Finally, the bus moved out of Cape Town, past some ugly cramped slum villages, patched together from corrugated iron and spare furniture. In the distance, the shapes of the mountains already showed up like blue shadows against the likewise blue sky. It was spring time, and along the road, workers were busy with cleaning and gardening.

  Vance looked outside and felt more at ease with every turn of the busses wheels. He had missed home! Even if technically, he was Canadian for 30 years now, his heart had refused to emigrate! Nonetheless, his eyelids dropped before the mountains emerged from their shadowy shapes into real magnificent rock structures towering over the highway.

  One hour later, the film crew arrived at the place, which would be their living and working space for the next few weeks. Half a dozen children from the nearby village waited to greet them with cheering and hands clapping. The crew would have to “hire” some of them for minor tasks – so the little ones felt important and not like beggars, when they got some coins.

  Their first location, an 18 century farmhouse, sat peacefully in between the soft hills of a vineyard. Two oaks spread their century-old-branches over the roof, and the dark red blossoms of a huge rose bush decorated the eastern wall and parts of the porch. During the past days, the set dressers had already done their best to change the impeccable state of this house into the shabby home with the air of past glory they needed for the film. Of course without any damage to even one inch of the wall and wooden porch!

  Still, it was a beautiful sight, especially in the afternoon sun. However, Alison and her team were far too tired to notice anything but the gravel beneath their feet and some annoying flies.

  Normally, the house was a family hotel. Most of the film crew would stay in former slave quarters behind the old farm – now cozy little bungalows- , the rest in the RVs that were lined up near the old stables.

  Vance let his bag drop right behind the door of his place. The bungalow consisted of a single room with a separate bathroom. It was furnished simply, with a thatched roof, a colorful carpet and a likewise colorful patchwork blanket on the bed. From the wall greeted a native African style painting. Without paying these surroundings any attention, Vance stepped over to the window and opened the shutte
rs. Sun flooded in, making him squeeze his eyes. But fresh air, too, and that was, what he wanted, after he had noticed the ‘non smoking’-sign at the door. He freed himself from the shirt, threw it down on the floor and searched for the cigarette-package.

  For a moment he wondered if he should phone Carolyn, but dismissed the thought. First, there was the time-difference of 11 hours, so it was around 5 o’clock in the morning in L.A. Sometimes she was up that early, if she had to prepare a presentation or travel to a meeting with some clients. Or maybe she had just arrived at home again FROM a meeting. Either way – bad timing! He had not called from a set for the past few years, because he always felt he bothered her during difficult business matters. After their last fight, she would probably only get more suspicious; she would think, he was trying to cover up something, if he called now…

  Vance pushed the rattan-chair next to the window, let himself drop in with a loud sigh and lit the cigarette. Carolyn….

  And what would I say anyway? Everything is fine my love; I miss you? That was a complete lie! I’m not sure, if I still love you? I’m not sure if you still love me? What a bunch of crap!

  In the next bungalow, Alison was about to unpack her suitcase. It would have never crossed her mind to leave the baggage as it was and get some rest first. She was nearly finished, when she remembered she wanted to ask Max about the fixing of the camera crane. Better now than tomorrow… If something additional still had to be delivered…

  She turned around to grab her iPhone and discovered a huge brightly colored butterfly sitting on it, slowly battering its wings. Alison stared like hypnotized. Somehow, she couldn’t get herself to shoo the insect away. While she undressed, the fatigue from the flight crept up in her again. The butterfly still sat on the phone. Good, maybe it was really time to rest. Leaning back in the pillows she was already half asleep.

  As if it had waited for this, the butterfly arose from the iPhone, fluttered across the room, and then left through the open window. It made a wide turn up in the sky and then to the house, visiting some of the big fragrant roses there. Taking another float through the air, the butterfly landed gently on Vance’s hand, without waking him up.

  It was early morning, and the chirping of multiple birds accompanied the last preparations for the filming of the first scene. Still suffering from jet lag, Vance arrived at the makeup trailer. The fact he had spent half the night sleeping in the chair didn’t make him feel any better! Gratefully, he only needed some minor touch-ups. Head make up artist Chang had passed this job on to one of his trainees, a redhead named Meredith. It was her first major production and she was nervous.

  Noticing that, Vance decided to put his grumpy mood aside as best as he could and be as friendly and easy going as possible. No matter what his personal problems were, his co-workers should not be affected by them, that was one of Vance’s prime directives. So far, he was getting along fairly well with all the people on a set.

  “Morning, Meredith!” he answered to her somewhat shy greeting and sat in the chair she indicated. “I suppose jet lag has not left much to do for you! I haven’t shaved for two days and I’m sure I look as tired as I feel!” He smiled.

  “Well…” The ice was broken. Meredith laughed and reached for the makeup utensils. “I’ve seen worse! However… I think your hair might be too short if I remember the description of your character correctly.”

  “Yes, I guess so,” admitted Vance without opening his eyes. “But there was nothing I could do about that! They cast me only a week ago. So, unless you are going to put one of those ugly wigs on me – and I hope Alison has not mentioned anything in that direction - we have to deal with my Marine haircut.”

  Alison walked past the equipment, giving every position a last check. The team with the additional lighting was ready, the focus pullers and the grips gave her a thumb-up, too. The two cameras were in position – even if Jake yawned pitifully. The sound-assistant just gave last instructions to his helpers.

  As planned, they would start with the first scene on schedule, what accidentally happened to be the first meeting between father and daughter. It was taking place outside on the porch. Alison spotted Vance and checked his appearance. Yes, this was more or less how she had pictured Arend Marens in reading the script: shabby white suite with missing buttons, half open shirt… Of course, the hair was definitely too short, too orderly. Well, she would see in a few minutes, if it worked despite this flaw!

  “Good morning, Alison. Satisfied?” Vance asked, noticing her visual check-up.

  “We shall see.” The comment left no doubt of her skepticism.

  Vance’s pride was stung by her remark and her behavior. Apparently she thought he was one of those action stars who couldn’t’ do anything but shout orders, shoot and wrestle in the mud! Well, he would show her differently! He was a pro and would not give her any reason to complain. On the contrary! Yes, he’d show her! He was a graduate of the prestigious Montreal School of Performing Arts! He would act with every finesse he was capable of, as if an Oscar was at stake, if only to see her jaw drop in surprise!

  “Vance,” Jake shouted across the set, watching the scene, “give us your best hangover-face ever!”

  “Shouldn’t be a problem!”

  From the corner of her eye, Alison saw Lauren Bastian on the garden path, dressed in a costume that made her in fact look like the innocent 16-year old from a convent school.

  Wonderful! Good job! Never thought this was possible!

  “Ready to go everyone?” Alison asked. “Positions everyone!”

  Vance stepped up on the porch. Lauren installed herself next to the requisite cab with the extra as driver, a guy who smelled disgustingly of garlic, she noticed. One last look around, then assistant director Mendez declared “Picture is up”. A moment later the clapper gave the sign. Alison felt the remnants of her jet lag dizziness vanish, when she called “Action!”

  Marens stood leaned against the banister, scowling down at the girl with all the annoyance of a drunk woken up too early. ”What do you want?”

  ”I’m… sorry. Sorry for... I mean…”

  “What is wrong, Miss?”

  “Don’t you … recognize me?”

  Heavens! She really looks as if butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, Alison thought.

  “Should I? Don’t play games with me, young lady, I’m a very busy man!”

  “I’m… Camilla… Dad.”

  “Cut!” Alison jumped up. “Okay, Jake, I want a camera close-up on both of them during the last sentence! – Lauren, you’ll go one step ahead, so we get the right angle. … Jake?”

  “Just perfect, Alison! Need some extra light, though! The sun is shielded too much by the branches at this angle!”

  The lighting grips with the bounce reflectors positioned them to catch the sunlight and cast into the shadows. Then they were ready for the second try…

  Four hours later, the film crew was ready to gather around the tables and eat.

  Vance loaded a double helping of potato salad on his plate and signaled the young Indian helper from the catering service to add two sausages on top.

  “Hey, you won’t fit into your costume anymore, if you keep eating like this,” said Jake, watching him.

  “What – I’m starving!”

  “Perhaps you should eat breakfast instead of two cups of coffee and three cigarettes!”

  They sat down under one of the sunshades. “You know me; I’m full of bad habits! … And this tastes delicious!” Vance felt good, despite the tiredness. Working gave him a special sort of fulfillment and satisfaction. The worries about his personal life slipped into the background, at least for a few hours.

  “So, what do you think of our directing dragon?” Jake asked in between two bites.

  Vance turned his head in Alison’s direction. She sat alone, in front of her Vegan menu, iPhone next to her and absorbed in her thoughts. He leaned in to his friend. “Well, as you said: she’s a perfectionist and a workaholic. I
bet she can be a real pain in the ass for some people.”

  Jake grinned. “I heard rumors that that was the real reason Barnes turned down her offer! You know he was supposed to play your part…”

  “And my agent thought I might be the right choice to defy her?!”

  “You’re a perfectionist, too, Vance!”

  Vance’s eyebrows rose for a second. “You should try the salad, Jake. We’re probably gonna work until midnight…”

  The day was supposed to begin with the shooting of scene 23, a meeting between Thabo alias Louis and Lauren alias Camilla. Until now the crew had struggled to set up dollies and spotlights.

  “What are you doing with those cables over there? You can’t leave them there, guys, or we’ll have them right in the picture!” Jake Bertoni yelled.

  Alison looked to Thabo where the makeup team put on the finishing touches of his makeup. Lauren Bastian took the opportunity to sit down for a moment to watch Vance, who waited for his turn, dozing in a chair. It was midday and very hot, so he had disposed of his jacket and rolled up his sleeves.

  “Lauren, are you ready?” Alison did not miss how Lauren was eyeing Vance. Little bitch – if she could, she would just go and undress him right here! “Lauren? Up in position!” Alison clapped her hands, and the young woman finally moved with, in Alison’s opinion, a little rebellious reluctance.

  The familiar sound of the clapper board, and the next second they were filming.

  “Louis!”

  “Miss Camilla! I didn’t expect you to be here. Mister Marens said he was taking you hunting today.”

  “I’m not –“

  “Stop! This does not work!” Alison felt very picky at the moment. Maybe the usual ‘mood swings’ of her age – whatever, but she was angry. “Thabo, Lauren, I want to see a little more emotion in your dialogue! You are two people in love for the first time! And, Avi?”

  She turned in the direction of the guy responsible for the costumes. “We need to find another shirt for Thabo! He’s a farm helper, and this thing makes him look like a high school student in New York! Moreover under these lighting conditions he will be just one big bright spot on the screen. It does not work. We have to shoot this scene again and the one we did yesterday with Thabo as well.”