by Naomi Niles
“Likewise.” I escorted her to the living room. She sat down and propped her leg over the other as the smile never left her face. I sat down in a small recliner just to the left of the couch. “So, the job,” I said, interrupting the momentary gaze between us, “what did you have on your mind?”
“Right. The job.” She looked disappointed that I brought it up so quickly. “I was thinking about it, and I’m not sure if I should take it.”
“Oh? Why not?” She exhaled. I could tell that there was something on her mind and she was hesitant to let it out. I could sense the internal struggle that went on between her mind and her lips. Her soft, delicate lips that puffed up like cotton candy. I got up from my place and sat closer to her. Her leg brushed against mine as I put my hand on her thigh to comfort her. Her flesh absorbed my grasp like putty as she faced my direction. “Caroline? Come on. You came all the way over here for a reason. Don’t hold it in. I promise I will walk you through it.”
Her head dropped. Her long, curly hair flowed down each side like sensuous rivers of lust. Finally, she spoke. “It is you,” she said hesitantly.
“Me?”
“Not in a bad way.” She exhaled. “I mean, Harrison, I’ll be honest. I’ve always had a crush on you. Ever since I could remember, and I believe that taking this job will make it worse. Like… I love Sarah, I do… and I don’t want to…” She looked away from me. “I don’t know, Harrison. I can’t put it in words exactly, but I know that I don’t want to cross any lines. Not saying that we would, but I know how I am and–”
I watched her stumble through her words like a child just learning how to walk. Her apprehension increased my flames. The way she sat with my hand on her thigh, not once pushing it away. I wished that she didn’t make me feel this way. I wished that there was something else to help ease the pain of not having my daughter around, but to my demise, there was nothing. There was only her sweet, apologetic voice floating in my mind like heavenly instruments. Her countenance was beautiful, like a gazelle running across a field full of lilies and dandelions. If Sarah was here, I never would’ve crossed the line, but she wasn’t, and now, my solace was packed inside of her, and I could only unlock it with a kiss. That’s all I wanted. Just one kiss. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers, halting her in mid-sentence.
At first, it took her by surprise, but as I placed my hand on the back of her head, she relaxed. Her head tilted to the side, and she slid her tongue into my mouth. My heartbeat increased as she gave me more of herself. I just wanted one kiss, but at that point, I knew it would become much more than that.
Chapter Fourteen
Caroline
I couldn’t believe this was happening. The turmoil inside my heart raged like hurricane winds. I wanted to pull away from him and run out of the house, but his lips were too sweet. His tongue brought my fantasies to life. I put my hand on his chest to push him away, but the firmness of his pecs called me. I hated that I wanted him so badly. I wanted to smack him for crossing the line, but all I could do was kiss him. I hated that he wanted me just as bad as I wanted him. “Wait,” I said, pulling myself away. “Wait.” Tears formed in the base of my eyes as he stared at me with a longing gaze that I could never put into words. “Sarah,” I said as my voice cracked. “What about Sarah?”
He dropped his head. “I miss her,” he responded. “I miss her and… Caroline, I don’t know what it is, but you help me get past that. You help me cope with the pain I have with her being gone. You are my drug, and I can’t explain it any way other than that.” He lifted his hand and wiped a tear from my eye just as it tumbled down my cheek. “I’m sorry,” he added. “I’m sorry.”
A few moments of silence passed as we sat inches away from each other. I closed the gap between us and locked my lips with his again. This time, I wasn’t going to stop. I put my hand on the side of his face and climbed on top of him. My skirt rose above my hips as I straddled his waist with our lips intertwined like strands of DNA. With one hand, he grabbed my backside and guided me closer to him. I leaned my head back as his tongue danced down the middle of my neck until he met with my breasts. I pulled my shirt from over my head and tossed it to the side. I couldn’t believe this was about to happen. It felt as though we were eating forbidden fruit, but it was too savory to stop. The apple was too sweet to turn away.
I reached behind and unstrapped my bra, releasing my breasts from their momentary prison. He wrapped his lips around my nipples, twirling them in his mouth like a lollipop before he suctioned my breast. I bit my lip as I held the back of his head. I could feel him rising beneath me, poking the outer portion of my undergarments. He shifted his attention to my other breast as heavy, passionate breaths escaped my lungs in bursts of ecstasy. My panties were soaked, and my mind was conflicted as we danced together in flames of hell.
I squatted over him so I could unbuckle his pants. We were too far gone to turn back. With his undamaged hand, he yanked his pants down to his ankles, then his underwear followed right after. His dick shot straight up like an exclamation mark. My vagina dripped onto the tip of it as I gazed into his lonely eyes. It looked as though he found his way out through me. The desperation in his eyes spoke volumes as I lowered myself onto his penis. The tip of it cracked my vagina as I eased down onto him. I couldn’t remember the last time I had allowed anybody inside of me like this. His dick burst inside me. I fixed my mouth to utter moans of pleasure, but nothing escaped.
He put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me down further as he exhaled passionate groans. My lips fit tight around his dick, and at that moment, I felt his head climb to chambers in my vagina that hadn’t been touched in years. I bounced up and down on top of him. My tits moved like basketballs as I dug my nails into the back of his neck. His chest glistened with sweat as he leaned his head on the back cushion of the couch. He grabbed hold of my waist with his hand and guided me back and forth on top of him, smacking my behind as I moved according to his command. Suddenly, he grabbed my neck and pulled me in. His lips had pressed against mine moments before he stood up with my legs wrapped around his waist like a boa constrictor.
He dropped me on the couch; then he mounted me as he forced my legs back behind my head until they made a V shape. His muscles contracted as he pushed himself deeper inside of me. I screamed out of pleasure and pain as I dug my nails into his back. My body bounced up and down on the couch. His hands slid around my throat, choking me delicately. The passion drove me up a wall as his muscular frame hovered over me like a spaceship. His dick slid in and out of me. “Shit,” I yelled out. “Shit!” I could feel myself building up for a release. My pussy lips pulsated as sweat dripped from his muscular chest.
“Kiss me!” I said, pulling him closer to me. As his tongue swam around in my mouth, a tidal wave flooded from my vagina and exploded onto his dick like a stick of dynamite. I screamed out in ecstasy, my voice bouncing off the walls in the front room. He moaned, and just moments later, I felt his dick pulsating inside of me. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he yelled out obscenities. His words mingled together with my screams as we shared the same pleasure, and minutes later, his bare chest relaxed on top of me as he laid between my legs.
Our breathing coincided with each other’s, and from there, it didn’t take long for me to understand the magnitude of what just happened. I just had sex with Sarah’s dad. Suddenly, my fantasy hit a wall, and while Harrison rested on top of me, my eyes bubbled with tears. This was wrong. This was so wrong. For the first time since Sarah’s death, I blocked her from appearing in my imagination. I locked her voice out. Her image was forbidden to appear, and even if it did, I would hide my face in shame. Harrison’s head laid against my breast while I covertly wiped tears from my eyes. I cleared the tears from my throat the best I could. “Harrison,” I said after I mustered the strength. “I think I need to go.”
His head lifted from my chest. “Why?” He didn’t have an ounce of worry in his eyes. He was more concerned about what I said than anythi
ng else. “Leave? I don’t understand.”
I allowed the tears to fall down the sides of my face. “Why? What do you mean, why? We just did something wrong, Harrison. I just had sex with my dead best friend’s father. This was wrong, Harrison. This was so wrong.”
He sprung to an upright position. “No, you can’t think like that, Caroline.”
“I can and I will.” I pushed myself into a seated position. “We shouldn’t have crossed that line. It was wrong, and if Sarah were alive, we never would have! We wouldn’t have done it, and you know it!” I reached for my underwear and violently shoved my legs through each hole.
Harrison reached for my arm to slow me down. “Caroline, please. Just wait a second, alright? Can you please just calm down?”
I yanked my arm away from him. “No! I can’t! She is my best friend, and I betrayed her! I slept with her fucking father just weeks after she was buried! It comes off like I waited until she died just so I could stab her in the fucking back! I feel like shit, Harrison! I feel like shit!” I yelled at the top of my lungs as my emotions boiled inside my heart. Harrison watched me quietly as I stood and pulled my underwear to my hips. “This is shit, Harrison! This is nothing but… but a bunch of shit! We shouldn’t have done it! Sarah is turning over in her grave right now, and I know it!”
Just then, I broke down. I covered my face as tears cascaded down my cheeks. I felt Harrison stand up beside me and slowly wrap his arm around my body. “It’s going to be alright, Caroline.”
“It’s not!”
“Caroline.” He sighed as he held me. His embrace was comforting. I wanted to push him away, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have the strength. I didn’t have the heart. “This was not on you, OK? This was on me. I kissed you first… I… I started everything. It was something that I shouldn’t have done, but at the same time, I am happy that I did. I felt at peace during that time. I felt like… I felt like you completely consoled me at a time when I was inconsolable, and on top of it all, you never had to say anything to me. You only had to be here. You just had to touch me. Whether it was your hug or your presence, that was all it took. I wanted that. I wanted to feel that permanently, you know? It just felt right, Caroline. It just felt right.”
I sniffled, then wiped my eyes as I calmed down in his arms. I understood his point of view, but it didn’t erase how I felt about Sarah. Nothing would change that. I stepped away from him. “I need to go, Harrison. I just need to get away from here and think about things.”
He sighed. “I understand.” I grabbed Kleenex from a small box on the table as he slipped his pants back on. He walked me to the door, and with a solemn voice, he asked, “Will I see you on Monday? For your job?”
The bright light shone down from above as I stood silently by the door, weighing rather or not I should take the job. If I wanted to move to California in half a year, I had no choice. I wasn’t going to find another job to pay me as much as Harrison was willing to. Even with that, I couldn’t answer him outright. “I don’t know right now. I just need to think about everything. Just give me some time. Please?”
“Sure,” he said patiently. “Take your time.”
I walked away from him slowly. My heels clicked against the concrete until I made it to my car. I glanced back at his door as he stood there, shirtless, watching just to make sure I drove away safely. My hand felt like it was a bag of bricks as I lifted the key into the ignition and turned it on. By the time I got to the corner of his block, I had pulled to the side of the road and parked in front of another house. I broke down crying the same way I did when Sarah died, but the reasons were very different. One was because she was gone, and the other was because I felt that I betrayed her. I didn’t know how I would be able to carry on.
Chapter Fifteen
Harrison
I didn’t do anything for the rest of the day. I felt horrible for placing Caroline in this situation. Things felt right between us, but if I’d known that she would feel so bad about things afterward, I never would have crossed that line with her. I regretted how she felt, but I didn’t regret the action. For the first time I could remember, my sorrow had been quenched, and with her, I felt that I could get through this difficult time. But, it wasn’t just that. I didn’t want to have sex with her and toss her to the side like I’d done so many women before her. It seemed that whatever was brewing between us was more than just a one-night stand. It was more than a momentary solace. I had been drawn to younger women my whole life, so it would make sense to settle down with someone her age.
That is the road I wanted to take with her. As I laid in the bed, I thought about giving her a call to check on her. I grabbed my phone a few times, only to talk myself out of making the call. Instead, I scrolled through my phone and landed on another one of Sarah’s messages. “Hey, Dad. I know this might sound crazy coming from me since I’ve never wanted to share a day in my life with you, but I know you’re getting older, and I won’t be around to take care of your old behind later in life since I’ll be raising a family of my own.” She laughed in the voicemail, but a tear glimmered at the bottom of my eye. The thought that she would never be able to live out the life she expected nearly brought another wave of anger into my heart.
Her voice simmered my fury. “So, I think it is about time that you settled down and stopped having sex with so many women just to go to the next one. I mean, every man… well, not just every man, but every person wants somebody to grow old with. I mean, you’re already old, so I guess you probably are looking for somebody to grow OLDER with.” She laughed again. I would’ve thrown something at her by now if she was standing near me. “So, maybe you should hang up your ‘player’ card and look for something more serious. Just a thought. Well, anyways, love ya old man, and I’ll talk to you later.”
The voicemail ended as I laid on top of my blanket, facing the ceiling. I looked at my bandaged hand. Most of the pain subsided a bit since earlier today, but I still felt the effects of smashing it into the wall. I held my phone in my hand for a few minutes until I dropped it onto the mattress. I figured that I would give Caroline the rest of the day to sort things out on her own before I poked my head into her life again. I could only hope that she didn’t do a 180 and walk out of my life. More than anything or anyone else, she was the only one who could help me through this time. I turned over on my mattress, and in minutes, I had fallen asleep.
The next day, I woke up with Caroline on my mind. I grabbed my phone, hoping to see a text or missed call from her, but there was none. I knew I had to do something to help make the situation better between us. I was the one who initiated everything, so I had to be the one to fix it. I got up, got dressed, and headed to her apartment. It was 12 pm by the time I made it over there. I knocked twice on her door and stood back, waiting for her to answer. “Oh, Harrison,” she said with a surprised look when she came to the door. Her eyes were reddened as if she had been crying all night.
“May I come in?”
“Um, yeah. Sure.” She stepped to the side and allowed me in. “I am sorry about the mess, but I wasn’t expecting company.” Boxes of Kleenex covered her couch. The clothing she wore yesterday was tossed on the floor, and she quickly scooped it up in her arms as I made my way to her sofa. She grabbed discarded Kleenex squares from the table and tossed them into the trash.
“It is fine,” I said, taking a seat in her living room as she took her clothing into the bathroom. She wore nothing but an oversized sweater that hung loosely on her body. It stopped mid-thigh, exposing the rest of her legs. My mind replayed scenes of our sexual encounter when her legs were spread open and pointed towards the ceiling. I quickly brought those to a halt before I was tempted to start round two between us. “Listen, I know that yesterday was tough.” She sniffled. “And I understand why… but, I don’t think of that situation the same way you do.”
She grabbed another Kleenex and wiped her eyes as I continued. “I think that Sarah, more than anything, wants us to be comforted. She doe
sn’t want us to continually be in pain because she passed away, and if she could help us, she would... And honestly… I think that is what she is doing.” I took a deep breath. “Look, I know that what we did seems wrong, especially given the situation and the way things look. But for me, you are a solace. For me, you are the one person in this world that can help me through this time. It’s not just sex with you; it is your presence. It is something about you that calms me when I feel I am about to explode.”
I looked at my hand. “And I lied.” Her brows wrinkled as she looked in my direction. “This injury didn’t happen at work. I punched a wall at home. I did because I was angry with myself.” I turned away from her, ashamed to admit the truth. “I felt like… if I just was a little tougher on her, you know? If I buckled down a little more and taught her that life wasn’t one big party, maybe she wouldn’t have died the way she did. Maybe she would have made better choices in her life. So, in the end, I blame myself for her death. I blame myself for being a sorry-ass father who couldn’t raise his child the right way. So, I punched the wall after I left her room. I punched it again, and again, and again until I busted up my fist pretty bad. But you? I know that if you were there, I wouldn’t have done that because you have this innate ability to calm my soul and I can’t explain it. I don’t want to.”
She sat on the couch with her legs folded beneath her. A sorrowful silence filled the room as we both waited for someone to speak. I throttled tears behind my eyelids because I refused to cry in front of her. Even then, I could feel rage circling around in my chest like a vulture over a dead animal. If she wasn’t there with me, I might have broken my hand this time around. Suddenly, she scooted closer to me. She put her hand on top of my injured fist and sniffled. “You can’t think that way,” she said with a shaky voice. “You can’t put that kind of weight on your shoulders. You were a damn good father to Sarah. Yeah, you spoiled her, but what father wouldn’t spoil his only girl? My father spoiled me, and I know a lot of other girls who got the same treatment from their fathers. You are not alone.”