Circle of Fire

by Michelle Zink

  I laugh, wiping the tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand. “I’m simply too full of happiness, Henry. There isn’t enough room for it all inside me.”

  Next to Henry, my father chuckles softly, and I turn my attention to my parents.

  I reach out and embrace my father, holding him close and breathing in the scent of pipe smoke and cedar. “Father. I’ve missed you so much.”

  “And I you, Daughter.”

  I turn to my mother and repeat the embrace, feeling a new kinship to her since my time on Altus.

  “Lia,” she says, breathing into my hair. “You’re all right.”

  We pull apart and look at one another.

  She smiles and shakes her head in wonder. “You’ve grown into a beautiful young woman.”

  My pleasure at the compliment is fleeting. A moment later, my father looks around, a cloud of worry passing over his strong features.

  “You are safe here for now, Lia, but we shouldn’t risk it for long.”

  He is telling me to hurry, though neither of us wishes to rush our visit. It’s all the harder for me, knowing it will be our last.

  I take his hands. “Father, I’ve come to ask you to cross into the Final World with Mother and Henry.”

  I expect him to be surprised, but his shoulders drop, and I see resignation in his eyes. “You don’t need us anymore?”

  I shake my head. “I’ll always need you.” I look from him to Mother and Henry. “Always. But it’s not safe for you here. It hasn’t been safe for some time. I should have asked you to cross long ago, for your own protection. Allowing you to remain in this in-between place was selfish.”

  “Lia.” My mother’s voice is soft, and I turn to look at her. There can be no secrets between us. The inherent connection shared between mother and daughter is ever-strong, despite the fact that we have seen each other only once in the Otherworlds since her death. “There’s something else. Something you’re not telling us.”

  I brace myself, wanting to sound strong and unafraid. “It’s time for me to convene with the keys at Avebury, and though the prophecy says Alice and I must stand together, she refuses to come to our side.”

  My mother furrows her brow. “But if the prophecy says you must have Alice’s aid, why would you travel to Avebury now?”

  “I cannot…” I look into her eyes, knowing that if anyone will understand the torture of the Souls, it’s my mother. “I cannot sustain my strength against the Souls for much longer. I must try to use the power I still have, for I grow weaker by the day.”

  “Such a course is dangerous,” my father says. “You must wait until you have everything you require so that you might come out of it alive.”

  I shake my head. “It’s not just me, Father. The keys, too, are fragile. They are suffering as I suffer at the hands of the Souls.”

  “You’ve found the keys?” he asks. “All four?”

  I nod. “All four. But I don’t think I can get all of them to remain in London for another year.” I try to smile. “It’s simply time, that’s all. I’m prepared to fight. To use what power I have together with that of the keys. To try. And if I must die trying, if I must consign my soul to the Void to ensure Samael cannot use me as his Gate, well, I would prefer that to the alternative.”

  Their faces are somber as they contemplate my words. My mother speaks first.

  “This is your decision to make, Lia. I know well the havoc the Souls can wreak. You must do what you think is right.”

  I smile into her eyes, so like mine. “Thank you, Mother. I knew you would understand. I only wish…”

  She reaches out to touch my face. “What do you wish, darling?”

  I sigh, finding a sad smile. “I only wish we had more time together. That our time in the physical world hadn’t been cut short.”

  She nods. “And I only wish that I had had your courage, Lia. Your strength.”

  I lean in to embrace her. “Goodbye, Mother. I pray you find peace in the Final World and remember that I love you always.”

  Her voice is hoarse, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “I love you, too, Lia. No mother was ever as proud as I.”

  I look into her eyes as we pull away. “And no daughter as proud as I.”

  The tears finally overflow onto her cheeks, and I know she is thinking of the choice she made to end her life rather than face her role in the prophecy. Perhaps now she’ll let go of her private shame, forgive herself as I have forgiven her.

  I turn to my father, trying to memorize his face. The kind eyes and gentle smile that have always made me feel safe in any world. Their memory will bring me comfort, whatever my fate.

  “Thank you for staying as long as you did. For looking after me and for seeing that I was able to find everything I needed.”

  He pulls me into his arms, and I breathe in the scent of him as he speaks. “I’m only sorry it wasn’t enough.”

  Releasing him, I pull back and look into his face, needing to give him the peace of knowing he has done all he can. “Not everything was in your power to give, Father.” I think of Alice. Of her decision to stand with the Souls, against her sister. Her twin. Her blood. “If it were, I have no doubt it would have been provided.”

  He grabs hold of my shoulders and his eyes take on a new intensity. “Don’t give up, Lia. You have great power. If anyone can bring this to an end, it is you.”

  “I won’t give up, Father. I promise.” I smile, wanting to offer him reassurance. “You may see me yet in the Final World.”

  He touches my forehead. “May it be so, my dear girl. And may it not be for many more years.”

  I take a step back, swallowing the emotion that’s already rising in my throat. I don’t want to look at Henry. I don’t want to stare into his eyes, dark like my father’s. Saying goodbye once nearly killed me.

  I shall have to be stronger this time.

  As if reading my mind, he says, “Don’t be sad, Lia. We’ll be together again.”

  Something dark within me lifts, and a smile blossoms on my lips. “Yes, Henry. We will.” I bend down and wrap him in my arms.

  “I knew you weren’t the bad one, Lia. I knew it.”

  And now, I do look into his dark eyes. I see love there. Love and truth and light.

  All the things for which I am fighting.

  “No, you were right all along. I’m not bad, Henry.” I hesitate, looking into his eyes. “Maybe no one is. Maybe it’s not that simple.”

  It is only as I say it that I think it might be true.

  Henry nods somberly.

  “I’ll miss you.” He smiles. “But I’ll see you again.”

  I nod. “Yes.” Leaning forward, I kiss his cheek. It is as smooth and soft as I remember.

  For once, I don’t regret that he won’t grow to have a man’s rough cheeks. For once, I think I believe that Henry is meant to be in the Final World with Mother and Father, and I am meant to be in my world, at least for now. I am meant to end the prophecy for myself and all the Sisters to come.

  I rise and smile. “Go, now. Be quick. Seek the shelter of the Final World, and know that you are always in my heart.”

  My father takes my mother’s hand, and she takes Henry’s. They turn to go, and my mother looks over her shoulder one last time. I think she will say something meaningful, and in a way, she does. In a way, it is the most meaningful thing she could say, and it causes me to break into a wide smile.

  “I don’t envy the Souls right now, Daughter. I don’t envy them at all.”

  I am still smiling as I watch them disappear into the trees, and in this moment, I don’t envy the Souls, either. In this moment, I believe I can do anything.

  34

  We leave London without pretense of secrecy. Our party is too large to go entirely unnoticed, and we’re too weary and rushed to make the plans necessary to travel with less fanfare. None of us says aloud the thing we all know: It can be no secret that we’re on our way to Avebury.

  Alice knows, an
d that means that the Souls, and likely Samael himself, know as well.

  The second day dawns with an eerie shine. I peer at the sky as we begin the day’s ride, trying to place the odd cast to the light.

  “Solar eclipse.” Edmund’s voice startles me. He has been riding in the front but must have dropped back while I studied the sun. “Doesn’t happen often, but it will be almost entirely dark within a few hours.”

  I can only nod, the strange light suddenly making sense. It will get stranger still as the moon comes closer and closer to blocking out the light of the sun, and it seems somehow fitting that we are riding to Avebury to close the Gate amid so rare an occurrence. It’s unsettling. A portent of the promised darkness should I fail.

  Such weighty thoughts remind me of Henry and my parents. I turn to Edmund as we ride.

  “Edmund?”

  His eyes don’t move from the field in front of us. “Yes?”

  “I…” It is still difficult to say Henry’s name in Edmund’s company. I’ve no wish to remind him anew of the pain he felt upon Henry’s death, but in this one instance, it will do him good. “I wanted to let you know that I’ve seen Henry on the Plane. With Mother and Father.”

  Edmund turns his head to look at me, a wall of blankness dropping over his eyes. “Have you now?”

  I hear in his voice the strain of keeping himself in check. “Yes. I wanted to say goodbye. To ensure that they had moved on to the Final World before the Rite at Avebury.”

  “And have they?”

  “They have now.” I give him a small smile. “I wanted you to know that they’re well. Henry is well. He is safe and happy, and can even walk with the use of his very own legs.”

  Wonder touches his eyes. “He can walk?”

  I nod, my smile growing as I remember Henry running toward me in the Plane. “Yes. Quite well, in fact.”

  He stares at a point in the distance somewhere over my shoulder. When he speaks, his voice is wistful. “I wish I could see it.”

  “Edmund.”

  He brings his gaze back to my face.

  “You will. You will see it. That’s what I’m telling you. Henry is safe and well in the Final World.” I look into his eyes. “And you will see him again someday.”

  Hope lights his eyes in the moment before he turns his gaze back to the fields. “I’ll see him again.”

  I smile, turning my own gaze forward. “Yes.”

  We ride in silence for a while before I turn my attention to the other person for whom we share affection.

  “How is she holding up?” I nod toward Aunt Virginia, slumped atop one of the horses making its way through the field in front of us.

  “She’s doing well, under the circumstances. I think she’s stronger than any of us realize, and she’s too stubborn to stay behind anyway. Much like someone else I know,” he adds without looking at me.

  I shake my head. “It’s not the same thing, Edmund.”

  It has been painful to watch Aunt Virginia struggle to maintain a facade of strength since we left London, but I cannot bring myself to wound her pride by asking after her health. Her intentions were obvious the moment she emerged from Milthorpe Manor on the day of our departure, valise in hand. And though I argued and refused, she walked calmly toward the horse Edmund had provided for her, insisting that she was still my elder and would accompany me whether I wished it or not.

  But my own insistence on going is different. She has played her part in the prophecy. Has done her duty. Mine will not be done until the Gate is closed to Samael or until I am rendered unable to assist him.

  “Besides,” I say, “if you were so against my going to Avebury, why didn’t you try to talk me out of it, like everyone else?”

  He lifts his shoulders in a quick shrug. “Wouldn’t have done a bit of good, and we both know it.”

  I sit a little straighter, feeling an odd sense of satisfaction despite the exhaustion that permeates every bone in my body. “Well, that is true enough.”

  We ride for a few more moments in silence, Gareth in the lead followed by the keys and Aunt Virginia. Dimitri, as always, rides at my back. I try not to think about the reason. About his fear that the Guard might give chase or, even more sinister, might creep upon us slowly and simply snatch me away from the group before anyone notices. I am stalked by nightmares through every night’s sleep, and though I go through the motions of carrying my bow, I don’t have the energy to worry about the things that might come for me in the harsh light of day. I do my best to leave those worries to him.

  Edmund breaks the silence between us. “Even as I acknowledge the strength of your will,” he says, “I feel I must ask if you are certain, absolutely certain, that this is the course you wish to take.”

  I don’t defend my position right away. Instead, I take a moment to think about his question. To think about the other options available to me. Or the other option, really, since there is only one: Wait until we can bring Alice to our side. Wait and hope.

  I wonder if he can see the reluctance in my nod, for even I wish there were another way. “I’m certain. I don’t…” I look out over the rolling gray-green hills that stretch before us to another wood in the distance. “I don’t want to end up like my mother.”

  For a long moment, Edmund doesn’t reply. His words are halting when he finally speaks. “Your mother was a wonderful woman. Bright and vibrant when the Souls didn’t have her in their grasp. I don’t wish to speak ill of her. There are very few who would be able to resist the call of the Souls. But I do believe you’re one of them. I’d bet my life you wouldn’t fall to the same fate as your mother, however long it takes to gain Alice’s cooperation.” He nods to the keys, Aunt Virginia, and Gareth in front of us. “And it does seem you have some help, to say nothing of Mr. Markov.”

  “Yes, but I don’t feel strong on the inside, however it may appear. Even now, Samael tries to use me as I sleep. It is Dimitri’s presence, not my own strength of character, that prevents me from doing something terrible.”

  Edmund meets my eyes. “Your willingness to keep Dimitri with you speaks to your commitment. Your mother, and most of the Gates before her, as I’ve heard it told, sought solitude. Traveling the Plane with the Souls’ blessing, allowing themselves to be used by Samael… Well, it is a pleasure for most of the Gates. A calling. Yet, you don’t feel it quite that way, do you?”

  I shake my head. “I do want to deny them. To deny him.” I sigh. “But my will grows weaker—I grow weaker—with each passing day. With each night’s torment.

  “A year is a very long time. Once this Beltane has passed, I would be forced to wait twelve months for another. It’s a risk I cannot take. I would rather sacrifice myself to the Void and force Samael to wait for another Angel. At least then you and the others will be safe.”

  “I thought as much.” He turns away, focusing on something in front of him. “It would be difficult to find meaning in this world should something happen to you, but I understand the need to protect the ones you love. I can’t find fault or try to dissuade you when I’ve spent my life doing just that.”

  His back remains straight, his face impassive, and affection rises in my chest, filling my heart until I can hardly speak around it. “Thank you, Edmund. I know I can count on you to look after Aunt Virginia, whatever happens.”

  His nod is so slight that I hardly register it. We ride on and do not speak of it again.

  The journey that would take Dimitri and me three days of hard riding takes longer with so large a group. Helene’s riding is an impediment to speed, as is Aunt Virginia’s failing health. Still, I do not begrudge them. Whatever happens, I am relieved to be riding toward my destiny instead of waiting passively for Alice to change her mind.

  By the third day, we’re just over halfway to Avebury. Aunt Virginia is tired, and we make camp while the sun is still high, thinking it wiser to allow everyone the extra rest and begin again in the morning. I try not to think about the fact that Beltane is only four
days away, but it is a reality that is impossible to ignore. My mind tells me that it is only wise to consider other alternatives. To entertain the possibility that we won’t make it in time.

  No. I banish the idea from my mind. We will make it. We must.

  With the camp set up and the horses settled, Helene retires to her tent for a rest while Sonia, Luisa, and Brigid congregate beneath a freshly blossoming tree, studying three pieces of parchment. I know without asking that they are memorizing the words of the Rite, given to them before our departure from London. It will not be easy for them to recite in Latin, but it seems safer than trying to produce an accurate translation in English.

  I don’t need to study. The Rite is already as familiar to me as my own name. I resolve instead to take advantage of their focus on the unfamiliar words by convincing Dimitri to keep watch while I bathe in a slow-moving creek not far from camp.

  After quietly alerting Gareth to our intentions, Dimitri and I slip from camp and make our way to the water. The forest is quiet save for the skittering of small animals and the movement of birds from tree to tree. Dimitri and I do not speak as we make our way through a pathway cluttered with overhanging tree branches, and I’m grateful for our comfort in one another’s presence. For the first time in days, I feel a measure of peace.

  A few moments later we finally break through the trees, coming to a sloping bank at the edge of the water. Even the river’s meandering current causes my heart to beat faster in my chest, but I ignore my fear and turn to Dimitri with a smile.

  “Thank you,” I say, looking into the infinite brown of his eyes.

  “You’re welcome.” He grins lazily at me, unmoving.

  “You, sir,” I raise my eyebrows playfully, “may wait over there.” I tip my head in the direction of the woods.

  “What if I promise not to look?”

  I sigh, trying to suppress a smile. “I give you high marks for effort, Dimitri Markov, but I’m afraid you’ll have to go. Having you keep watch in my chamber while we are both fully clothed is scandalous enough, but having you in close proximity while I’m naked would cause Aunt Virginia to have a conniption.”