Monsters & Fairytales

by Rebecca Suzanne

  “Do not worry, my love. You must give yourself more credit.”

  “Jesus stayed and was still claimed.”

  “He wanted to give himself up for them. Adam and Eve went through it, too. They learned everything they knew to carry on life. They were spared. Jesus spared humans for a lesson.”

  “And everyone still believes in him. What if I sacrificed myself for them only to find a few thousand years later they are right back to where they are now?”

  “As good as it is for humans to learn their lesson, we can’t always decide the fate. Then we would serve no purpose here. Free will allows their lives to falter and swerve to their own ways. People have that greed and power you talked about. They are driven for the wrong reason under true pretenses. Each time they are reborn, we can only hope.”

  “Hope.” I snorted.

  “Without hope, there is no purpose.”

  “Why now? If He can’t see the outcome, if there is no certainty to the path of free will, how does He know it won’t convert on its own?”

  “You humans have one thing in common, your hearts. No matter the wrapping, no matter the damage, no matter the wounds, it still beats the same. Everyone sees their life their way. We cannot change what is set in your hearts. The site of the last pure heart, the last reason for hope, we must hold on to that.”

  With his last words, he twisted his fingers around mine.

  “And you are certain?”

  “He brought you here, didn’t He?”

  I looked up in the sky. I didn’t really know where God was, but I knew he was there. He was watching me. I wasn’t sure how to react to it all. It was a huge weight on my shoulders. That must have been how Jesus felt.

  My heart skipped a beat. Was heaven there, too? My mother, she had to be listening. I wondered if I could talk to her. The fate of the world was a pretty important decision, something I felt she could help me make a decision on. I felt the tears start to swell in my eyes. This was too much. It was impossible.

  “It’s not impossible.” Sebastian said, kneeling over me.

  “What?”

  “Have you forgotten what I gave up my father’s tribe for? My uncle is the leader of the guardian angels; the ones that help in the transfer of souls from your world to the next. It’s what I was on Earth for. I came for you.”

  It all hit me at once. Why did I never hear it before? He was honestly and truly my savior. He knew her! He could have seen her and touched her. How many souls were up there? Tons of lives pass each day on Earth, knowing where she was, it didn’t seem logical. However, if he was with me, he had to have been with her at some point.

  “Sebastian! Do you know where she is?”

  “Of course I do. I have placed many souls where she is.”

  “Are you telling me you could honestly find my mother?!” I exclaimed, cutting him off.

  “I could not for I am not granted that rite. But my uncle has the power. It is not guaranteed he can find her, but we can try.”

  “Oh, my gosh, Sebastian, you have no idea what that would mean to me. If I could just talk to her, just see her. Oh, please?” I begged.

  My mind started racing with a million things at once. The thought of smelling her again, touching her, it was overwhelming. My heart felt like it was going to implode.

  “Come.” Sebastian said, offering his hand.

  He pulled me up and kissed me very gently. I missed that.

  Love conquers all.

  ((just breathe))

  “I’ve got it from here.” Loki interrupted us. Both of us jumped and turned around.

  “Father?” Sebastian questioned him.

  “I feel there is something I must say to the girl before she makes her choice.”

  “I have already told her, there is nothing more to explain.” Sebastian assured.

  He was still holding on to me closely to him. I felt his uneasiness. What was he afraid of? Was he still hiding something from me?

  “Do not doubt me, Son. Go.” Loki ordered.

  I could feel Sebastian tense up. Bound by his naturally bred order, he did as commanded. Just because he obeyed, though, didn’t mean he liked it. I watched him stare down his father menacingly as he passed him. Once behind him, his eyes shot to mine. He was pleading for something, but I didn’t understand him. The doors opened up and he disappeared. I felt as if I had just lost everything. I had to do something. I couldn’t just give up. Why was Loki stopping us now? He had to know something.

  “Sebastian!” I called after him.

  “Mirabelle.” Loki said, stepping in my view.

  “What?” I mumbled.

  Defeat. I’d lost him.

  “Among the many things my son has mentioned to you, I assume one of them was that he would be capable of going back with you?”

  “Yes, he did.”

  “He told you that it would be some form of a human, too, I suppose?”

  His sense of leadership took over me now and I found myself reluctantly following him back towards the pond. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t want to hear him out, I just had been completely distracted with the hope of seeing my mother again. Sebastian had ruined me by telling me it was possible. How could I think of anything else? How could I hear any other words or see any other sight when I could be hearing her words and seeing her face? Loki was distracting me. We weren’t walking anymore. I saw the lake in front of us. He had asked me a question that I didn’t answer yet. His patience was kind.

  “He told me he would be whoever I wanted him to be.” I finally responded. “Why do you doubt him but expect him to trust you just the same? Are you still angry at him for leaving?”

  “Angry? You do underestimate our kind. I could not be angry at my son perusing what he felt was right.”

  “But, it went against what he was bred to do? It went against your purpose?”

  “And did you, yourself follow your mother’s footsteps precisely? I am proud of my son for being the first of our kind to break the cycle. I was worried what his repercussions would be, and I have seen now that they are you.”

  “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” I said sarcastically.

  “If he’s happy, what does it matter?”

  “Precisely.”

  He smiled at me. It was eerie.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “That is what I was coming to tell you. It is not possible for Sebastian to be a human. He does not possess the genetic makeup to be your kind. What you see is merely camouflage.”

  “So you came out here to tell me he was still lying to me?”

  “I came out here to let you know the truth that he did not know.”

  “What would it matter if he was or wasn’t a human anyways. As long as we’re together, that’s a life we all want.”

  “Your choices must be made in full.”

  “I just want to be with him.” I mumbled.

  “Which is what I feared. Wanting him will not be enough to grant him entry into your world. You have to want the future. Do not lose sight.”

  “He and I would never be able to have a human child. He is not human. I have to stay here.”

  “Somewhere down the line the human gene would dominate and become the humans you know today. Your breed is stubborn.” He chuckled.

  “You’re the missing link?” I asked.

  “Beg your pardon?”

  He stopped pacing and gave me the most curious look. I wanted to laugh. Where were the scholars and scientists now? I should pluck a piece of their fur to take back to Earth. Would they even be able to see it? Best not make more people think I’m crazy. I shook the thought away.

  “Nothing, never mind. Thank you Loki for making sure I knew the truth. My heart is strong though, your son believes me. As should you.”

  “I was born to see you for what you are worth.”

  “And to your race, I am worth the world. Excuse me now, I have to talk to him.” I said.

  I ran from the garden back towar
ds the house. Loki jumped in front of me in a second. My heels dug into the perfect grass to stop from colliding into him. He was faster than I had given him credit for. I felt a little foolish, thinking I could outrun him.

  “For what?” He asked as if it were nothing to have intercepted me that way.

  “He’s going to take me to my mother. He’s said his peace, you said yours, and that is all that can be done for now. I need to speak with her.”

  “What do you honestly expect?”

  “This is a decision I am not prepared to make on my own. Why would it be so terrible to get the advice from my mother, if it can be given?”

  “How are you so willing to defend the love you feel for him, but yet you have to be talked into a life with him? I was right, you do not deserve him. I am ashamed that a creature of your inadequacies has driven him to a place I can never recover him from.”

  The truth came out. He was testing me the way I had questioned Sebastian earlier. He wanted me to be the bigger person and walk away from him. He really didn’t think I was worthy.

  “No one is talking me into anything. Not even you, Your Royal Highness. I’m not even sure, myself, what I want to do. If I talk it out with the only person who knows me better than anyone else in the universe, then maybe I could get some clarity. Regardless of what Sebastian said, throwing away people’s lives for our own life isn’t really that simple of a choice. How can you not understand that?”

  “I understand that I am asking you to give up nothing that is yours for a life that belongs to you.”

  “What gives you the right to judge that I have nothing? You know, just once, I want to have to not prove anything to anyone!”

  “Because he is everything to you.” Loki hissed.

  I had offended him. I had wanted to, but I didn’t think I’d actually succeed. And now he hurt me with the truth. Tears burned my cheeks. My face was flushed. How could they think I deserved this? Who could really handle all of this? Not to mention, everyone else seemed to have something; time and even others to get them through this. All I asked for was my mother and he was making me out to be the worst person in the world for it.

  “I’m scared.” I whispered.

  Loki stopped walking. His shoulders dropped and he seemed to wipe his face off of any expression. I watched him turn around very slowly and walk back over to me. His posture suggested he had gotten exactly what he wanted out of me. I didn’t care about their games anymore. I just wanted to figure this out.

  “Every single one of us has gone through the Zahn. That’s how we prove our worth to our Deity. Of course, for me, that was a long time ago, but I have done it. I understand what we are asking of you. It’s just...we’ve been through this, so we are trying to guide you. I can’t protect you forever, nor can the Minakai. The inevitable will happen, Mirabelle.”

  “Protect me?” I sniffed.

  “Why do you think the Zahn has not claimed you yet? This fortress holds a protective barrier for you.” He smiled.

  “Then how did it get me before?”

  I watched his smile quickly fade. His eyes shifted past me. What was he thinking?

  “It got in there?” He whispered in a threatening tone.

  I wasn’t sure if he was asking or admitting it, to be honest. I only knew that his tone was not directed at me.

  “Yes.” I said quietly.

  “You are much stronger than I had imagined. I am so sorry, for everything. We must hurry.”

  His words pounded into my chest with the fear he was trying to withhold. I felt him grasp my upper arm and tug me towards the stairs. My feet were barely touching the floor as we flew through the halls and towards the Minakai’s door. I hadn’t even had a moment to catch my breath before we crashed into the Minakai’s office.

  He skidded to a stop and dropped me near the couch. I fell into it and tried to focus on my surroundings without throwing up. Carlyle was sitting on the couch across from me. He looked pleased to see me back. My eyes darted away from him though, he was making it worse. Then I saw Sebastian leaning against the window. Had he been watching us? I didn’t exactly know where the Minakai’s office was in relation to the front yard.

  That was neither here nor there. The Minakai was wide eyed with excitement. His paws were wrapped together waiting for me to notice him. When I locked in on him, he jumped up from his desk.

  “Did you decide?!”

  “No! But that’s not important. Why didn’t you tell me the Zahn has already been here?” Loki pressed towards his leader.

  The Minakai’s reaction went from excitement to anger. He looked away from me and cowered in front of Loki. I felt soft arms around me. Sebastian had rushed over to my side for protection. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but it seemed they weren’t very pleased with one another right now. And if they handled their anger anything like Sebastian and Carlyle did, we were in a world of terror.

  “I do not understand.”

  The Minakai pretended he was not intimidated by Loki. He tried to act nonchalant and walk in the other direction from him.

  “Do not lie to me, Porter! You swore an oath!” Loki roared.

  “And I haven’t broken it!” The Minakai roared back.

  “You are supposed to protect her! It is her choice, her decision what she wants to do with that. You have no right altering her perception and allowing it in!”

  “She was confused! She never would have gone back and realized that she was supposed to stay here.”

  “That isn’t up to you!” Loki threatened. “You tampered with her intentions.”

  He was bent over, spitting in the Minakai’s face. The Minakai was squished against his desk. I wasn’t sure how the thing was holding all their weight, but I realized that this was the answer I had been looking for. He had let the blame fall on Sebastian. This whole time, we had thought Sebastian was the one who let it in. We never said it specifically because it was assumed to be known that they all knew what had happened. Sebastian tricked me to let the Zahn claim me because he wanted me to be ready, he wanted me to chose him then. But it was the Minakai that tricked me. He’s the one who didn’t want the blame. He wanted to cower in the shadows.

  “I am the leader appointed by God himself! I make the rules!” He hissed.

  “Not anymore. It’s a miracle He’s allowed it to go this far. Maybe He will spare you after all.” Loki spat, turning his back on him. “Come, Mirabelle.”

  I didn’t know what to do. My feet were glued to the floor. I didn’t even budge as he walked past me and his wings scraped along side of me. I was just staring at the Minakai. He didn’t seem affected, at all. In fact, he put on his glasses and sat on the other side of his desk as if he were picking up where he left off before we had ever barged in. He never looked up again.

  I went to take a step forward, but Sebastian started tugging on my arm. I was hesitant to leave the Minakai in this state. However, I supposed it was obvious that Loki was not the one to be disobeyed. With a last glance, I followed them out of the room.

  “Where are-”

  “Father, we need to go see Uncle.” Sebastian interrupted me.

  “I know.” Loki agreed.

  I forgot everything I had just witnessed in an instant. My heart started racing. This was actually going to happen? I was going to see her? Could I touch her? Would she smell the same? Would she be excited to see me? That was a stupid question; of course she’d be happy. She’d have to understand what I went through to get the chance to see her again. Hopefully, Loki and Sebastian also understood that whatever cost it took, I’d do it. I’d sacrifice the human race a million times over for just three seconds with her. Anything.

  Wait, that wasn’t really the thought of a purist unsure of what to do with the fate of the world. I needed to focus. I had to be sure my only intentions were for her advice and that alone. Nothing selfish could surround this visit. They may not let her come to me. I needed her advice. She was the only one I trusted for this. She coul
d guide me through a maze blindfolded and I would never stop to second guess her.

  “For what?” Carlyle asked.

  I thought he had been reading my mind. I went to answer, but Sebastian spoke up.

  “She deserves to see her mother.” He said.

  “You understand the risk you are asking of Zerach?”

  Carlyle seemed offended. I looked at him, but quickly looked forward again when we made eye contact.

  “Yes. But, I think that is a decision for him and him alone.” Sebastian insisted.

  He squeezed my hand for encouragement.

  “Discussion is over.” Loki said, quieting Carlyle’s attempt at a rebuttal.

  We passed a few more corners, and then I saw the doors. They opened them for me and I stepped out on the lawn. I couldn’t help but smile and yet, feel sad. I was going to miss this place. I had a feeling Porter was not going to be Minakai for much longer or that he would not allow me back. Either way, the odds of seeing this land inside the castle walls again were slim to none.

  “Are you crazy?!” Carlyle yelled out from behind us.

  He had stopped at the top of the stairs. We were nearly to the gate. Flowers bent and jerked out of the way of his sluggish strides. What was his problem? He was out of control.

  I took a step back to stand behind Sebastian and Loki. It wasn’t because I felt like I needed protection, but because I felt I had nothing to say in this that would make matters better. It was something Carlyle was upset over with his father’s and brother’s actions to throw Zerach into it. He wasn’t upset over me needing to see my mother, at least I hoped. That’s why I needed to just stay out of it. Nothing good would come out of me saying anything to him.

  The big, furry beast finally made it to where we were waiting on him. He looked at them with eyes bulging. He was a steaming pot left on the stove too long. I saw the top of his head blow up and twirl around like it would in the cartoons; I laughed quietly to myself. It was a good thing I was hidden behind Sebastian. I had a feeling that would have made Carlyle completely lose it.

  “Having our uncle go to the other world to answer a question she already knows is pointless. You know how dangerous it is for him. How can you not understand that?”