Almost as soon as it had been silent, it started to scream. Falling to my knees, my hands covered my ears to block out the cries. The wind had picked back up and continued lashing my hair into my sore cheeks. Sebastian put his hands over mine to help protect my hearing. It was perfect timing, for at that moment, I had dropped my hands. Nothing could distract me from the ooze that was now falling out of its mouth. It was the consistency of pureed ice and the color of the blue sky on a clear day. There was sanctuary in there. I wasn’t sure what was giving me the thought, but I wanted to run inside of it. Black clumps came into focus and I lost all urge to run. A sickness tickled the back of my throat. I had to look away.
Sebastian, still having his hands on my ears, forced me to look at the mouth again. What was he doing? Then I realized the black clumps were actually figures. What was going on? They tumbled down out of the mouth. I jumped up and tried to move out of their path. They were coming faster than my eyes could comprehend. A soft thud against the grass, and they stopped rolling. There were two creatures on the ground in front of us.
Hearing nothing but breathing, I glanced up to the Zahn. It was retreating. The wind was gone, the screaming, the ooze, all was billowing inside of it. The storm was getting sucked back into it as it left. As quickly as it had shown itself, was as quickly nothing but perfectly blue skies shone above us again. I moved my hair out of my face, staring at the place it had been. My cheeks stung, reminding me I was alive.
“What.” I whispered.
“Can’t battle him alone.” Loki said from behind me.
I jumped around to him. He seemed as if he had been standing there the entire time.
“Where did you come from?” I asked.
“The house, of course. Someone had to stand guard and make sure the Zahn let them back into the world.”
“Who?” I asked him.
My heart was fluttering out of my chest. Was it real? Was she here now? It worked?
“Look!” Loki interrupted.
He started laughing the way a parent laughs when they adore their child. Encouraging me to turn around, he pointed to where the people had fallen. My head turned slowly, I had to force it. I was so frightened to see her. I wasn’t sure how I was going to react.
I sucked up all the strength I had left. Our bodies were crazy things. I had just stood full force in front of the infamous Zahn, but turning around to face my own mother was where I needed to find the strength. My eyes stayed closed as I pivoted on my heels. This was the hardest part. I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins. I was completely petrified. Opening my eyes and seeing her there was going to send me for a loop I should have prepared myself for. How could I think I could handle seeing her alive again? Would she look alive? Carlyle was right, but for the wrong reasons. I shouldn’t have asked for this.
“Don’t lose sight. This is real. You can handle it.” A voice whispered in my head. It was Loki’s.
Against my will, my eyes were forced open. I jumped when I saw a giant black creature was standing there in front of me. There was blue ice all over his shoulders and hair. Then I saw that he was holding someone in his arms. They were so small and frail compared to him. I couldn’t do it. My eyes shot away from her and I was focusing on Zerach. His face came into focus and I felt my entire body get stiff. He was covered in thick orange scars. They covered his face and right side the most. His wings seemed equally tattered. They were missing chunks of feathers and the oil shine was fading. Was he reaching the end of his body’s time?
“What are you waiting for?” Sebastian leaned down and whispered in my ear.
I took the tiniest step possible forward. I was hoping that Zerach would fill the gap. He didn’t move, but our eyes locked. His were such a light black, like a dog with cataracts. Did the color fade from them, too? The more I stared I realized that I couldn’t see my reflection in his eyes. It was interesting. I was stepping closer.
He held up his hand just before I was directly in front of him. He nodded his head to me and turned to set the human in his arms down. When he stepped aside, my mother, my adoptive mother, was right there. He had known which one I’d meant. She was there. I felt like I was going to faint.
This can’t be it.
((beauty is an art, let the earth be your canvas))
“Mom!” I screamed.
I didn’t mean to belt out like that, but seeing her made me lose control. There was a look in her eyes that I had never seen before. I had frightened her. I was such an idiot. Of course, the four giants behind me could have some play in it. I shooed with my hands to rush them off.
“You’re scaring her! Go away!” I urged them.
“Mirabelle, I don’t think it’s any of us that are frightening her.” Carlyle whispered.
“Mirabelle? I had a daughter with that name, once.” My mother said.
They way her voice lightened when she spoke of me, it gave me chills. I didn’t understand it.
“Mom, I am Mirabelle.”
I started walking towards her. She took a step back, though.
“No, no. My Mira passed away some time ago. You’re not her.”
“What?”
I looked back to Sebastian. Help me. Someone had to know what was happening.
“They create their own world out there. To cope, she probably told herself you were gone and has been ‘living’ like normal.”
“Spike! Where is he? He’ll remind her.” I asked, looking up at Loki.
“He is at my house, still. And that will only upset her more. You have to approach her differently.”
“But… she’s my mom.” I whispered.
I felt completely defeated. All this way and no one thought to tell me she might have no idea who I was.
“If you can’t conquer this, how can you expect to face the Zahn?” Zerach said.
His voice was but a whisper. He was very out of breath. I wanted to thank him for everything. He was right. If I couldn’t convince my own mother of who I was, how could I convince the Zahn of what I was to be? I had to do this. I had to be strong and suffer through the pain. With a deep breath, I turned around and walked back to her.
“Ms. Frances?” I said.
“Yes? How did you know my name?” She asked.
“I am your new caretaker, the others told me. It’s time for our walk in the garden.” I said.
“Is it really? I have been waiting a long time for that. My daughter used to take me you know?”
“You don’t say? You never mentioned her before. What’s her name?”
I put my arm on her back. The touch of her made me want to collapse. She was warm and full of life. I wasn’t sure I could make it. She gave me a look, and I realized I was losing the trust I had just gained. I had to be strong, for her. I lead her into the forest along the stream.
“Oh, she was lovely. Her name was Mirabelle. She passed away just before her eighteenth birthday. You kind of remind me of her.”
“Is that good?” I asked.
“Yes. I miss her. I think about her all the time.”
“I’m sure she thinks of you too.” I said.
This was too much. Was this my test? Was she my Zahn? I felt my heart breaking with every step. Every word led me further into insanity. I could see myself not minding getting lost with her here.
“That’s good.” Rida mumbled.
I watched her walk off to a tree and pick a fruit. She washed it off in the stream and sat on a rock. When she took a bite into it, she stared at me. She had to know. The water was purple, the tree was pink, and the fruit wasn’t even shaped like a typical fruit.
“Do you want one?” She asked me.
“One what?” I asked.
Maybe it could spark something and have her realize on her own what had happened. That’s how Sebastian always did it with me; he waited for me to grasp reality.
“An apple, of course.”
“Ms. Frances, aren’t apples green or red?” I pushed a little farther.
She tossed it into the water without a second thought. I watched a fish swim over and take it away.
“And the water, isn’t it supposed to be blue?”
This time, I hit something.
“I...I don’t understand.” She mumbled.
She started standing up and backing away from the water. There was a strong panic in her eyes. I couldn’t lose her. Not yet.
“It’s okay. It’s okay.”
I walked over to her doing my best to soothe her.
“Who are you?”
She looked into my eyes. We were so close. I could see every feature of her. She was exactly how I remembered her. I took another mental image, to ensure I’d never forget.
“I’m your daughter.” I cried.
I placed my hands on her arms and tried to gently force her to see the reality. I had a seconds worth of a breakthrough, but it was lost.
“That’s not true!” She yelled.
She yanked her arm from me. Her face was threatening. She thought I’d harm her?
“Please!” I begged.
A step closer and she stepped back into the sun. That’s when I saw it. She was wearing the necklace. Somehow she had on the ‘mother’ puzzle piece that Spike had been wearing. Had they already met? Did she see him first?
“Look!” I yelled.
She stopped and stared at my hands. I was holding the charm up.
“No. How did you get that?! That was a present from my daughter. She left it for me. I never had the chance to thank her.”
“No, Mom, it was present from you to me. For my birthday. You gave it to me. You left it behind the books. I found it. It’s me, Mirabelle!” I pleaded with her.
She crept over and stopped in front of me. She lifted up her necklace and matched the pieces together.
“Mirabelle?! How is this possible? You died!”
Her voice cracked and a tear slid down her cheek. Another one fell and she was standing there, breathless. Reality had finally found her.
“No, Mom, I’m very much alive. You were the one who passed away. The cancer got really bad and the chemo wasn’t working. You were suffering; I had to let you go.” I whispered.
“No.”
She shook her head in disbelief. Through the tears, I could tell she knew I wasn’t lying. She had been in denial this entire time. I didn’t blame her for wanting to stay there in whatever version of Heaven she had created. It was much more painful where I was. I caused that pain to leech on to everyone else around me. I didn’t want her to feel it, but if that’s what it took to get her to see me again, then it was very much worth it.
“I promise you. I had to set up everything. I put you in the ground and I sold our house. I’ve been doing all of this alone, Mom! You just left me!” I yelled.
“I would never do that to you.” She said.
“You did.”
“Mirabelle, honey, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know I had cancer before I took you in. I loved you. And I never left you.”
With hope in her eyes gleaming, her foot lifted up and placed itself closer to me. My heart tingled. She remembered. She was remembering.
“Mom.” I blurted out.
She held out her shaky arms and I flew myself into them. To feel her again and smell her, it was greater than anything I could have ever hoped for. Like a levy breaking, my emotions poured over uncontrollably to claim the place they were told they could never touch again. A thousand times over, I felt the days lost reconnect. I never wanted to lose them again. I wanted to stand there forever and relive the moments, just one more time. I didn’t care how long it’d take. I’d stand there and let the whole world disappear if it meant being with her again. This was my Heaven.
I had to be strong. There was a purpose. Pulling myself back, I looked into her eyes. Before I could say anything, a rock was kicked lose from its place in the ground. Sebastian was coming for us. I hadn’t said anything, yet. It wasn’t fair. How could he expect me to have already talked to her? I had just gotten her back.
“Mirabelle.” He interrupted us.
“No.” I begged.
“You have to.” He demanded.
He placed his hand on my shoulder to encourage me. He only meant the best, I knew it. I didn’t want to admit it.
“Have to what?” My mother asked.
We pulled apart, finally. I felt like I couldn’t breathe without the suction of her grasp on me. She wasn’t paying attention to me anymore. Sebastian was in his human form staring at us.
“Oh, who is this?” She asked.
“This is Sebastian.” I introduced him. “He’s kind of my boyfriend.”
“Well, hello.”
She held her hand out with a sly smile. It was adorable; she was everything she used to be. Course, I didn’t bring home many guys, none, actually, but that didn’t mean she didn’t try to flirt with them at the shopping center or grocery store.
“Ms. Frances.” He took her hand and bowed.
“What’s this you have to tell me?” She asked, keeping her eyes on Sebastian.
For a moment I thought she may’ve recognized him. I know he had said that he himself didn’t deliver her soul into the heavens, but he was the same breed as his uncle now. Maybe she could tell?
“Mirabelle has to tell you. I would like it if you walked back over with the rest of us.” Sebastian asked.
“Why of course. Are we meeting your family, Dear?” She smiled.
“Yes.” He nodded.
I followed them up the pathway through the trees that led back to the house. Sebastian stopped in front of the three men that had once been Aegyssusians. I felt sick when I saw Joe standing there. His smile and his eyes were forcing me to be enamored, but I was better than that.
I was shocked to see Loki and Zerach were in human form, too. I knew they would have to be to make the family portrait fit, but I just couldn’t really see them as humans. It seemed below them to portray themselves that way. Regardless, Loki was about the same height as Joe and had his blonde hair. It was short, cut off at the top, but you just knew if it grew out it’d be curly.
Standing next to his brother, Zerach held the stance of a military cadet in formation. He wasn’t scarred up as a human and for some reason that bothered me. I felt he lost his power that way. Maybe that was the point, with Loki being the supreme leader in the family over his sons. For Zerach to be even greater, it would make it hard to believe he wasn’t the father. However, Zerach did sort of resemble Sebastian as a human. Did that happen when he swapped tribes?
“Rida.” Loki held out his hand. “I am Louis, his father.”
“Hello.”
She smiled and nodded in a way that you would to a rabid dog deciding to give you a chance to walk by unscathed. I didn’t blame her for feeling intimidated.
“I’m Joe, Sebastian’s brother.”
“And I am Zach, his uncle.” Zerach laughed, nudging Sebastian.
“Zach? Have we met?”
She looked into his eyes. I could tell that he was feeling uncomfortable. Was she lapsing back? Was I about to lose her?
“Mom! Are you hungry? Let’s sit down over here and have a picnic.”
I grabbed her shoulders and walked her off towards the pond again.
“Um, Mirabelle, the chairs and table are over this way.” Sebastian said.
He directed us in the other direction I had been walking. How could I have known even if I weren’t in my state of panic?
Off to the right of the house, in between that and the other one, was a gazebo. I walked her up the stairs and we sat down next to each other. Without a word, Sebastian and Joe sat down with us, too. I was glad Loki and Zerach didn’t join, they created too much of a distraction. Right now we needed her calm and prepared for what I was going to say to her.
“What’s all this about, now?” My mother asked.
“Mom, I’m going to say some things to you that mi
ght make you want to overreact or not believe me. But please, I just want you to trust me.”
“Oh, honey, how could I ever doubt you?”
“Mom, you told me that I had passed away.”
“I never said that.” She laughed.
I looked over at Sebastian. He had to know what to say.
“She doesn’t remember that. She picked right back up from that last day.” He said.
“What’s he talking about? What are you talking about?” She asked.
She sat upright more. She was feeding off the tension and feeling uneasy. She had every right to. I was about to tell her I was the key to the survival of the human race and that I’d brought her back from Heaven to help me decide which door to unlock.
“Nothing, never mind, Mom; there are more important things to say right now. The world...well, it’s on the brink of destruction. And I’m the only savior.”
“Such stories. You’d make a great writer, Mirabelle. I always thought that about you.”
“No, I’m serious Mom. These Angels came to me; they said that I have these choices to decide on with very little time to do so. They told me that I could leave Earth and let it be destroyed with their sins so that I could come back and rebuild humankind. I could live with them, the Angels, in eternity and let earth rebuild itself the way nature intended. Or I could go back and find a reason to fight for humanity.”
She was quiet. I wasn’t sure what she was thinking, but I knew she was processing. Her eyes were focused just past us. I hoped she wasn’t planning her escape, she had to trust me. I had never lied to her about anything in our lives. There were plenty of things she and I would daydream about, but this wasn’t a daydream. I hoped she understood. I wanted to reach out and touch her and give her that push of trust, but I let her be.
Sebastian and Carlyle were sitting there at full attention. I could tell they were worried; well, Sebastian was. Carlyle already had his mind made up a long time ago of what I should do. It was up to her now. She held the key. My missing piece, found.
Finally, there was movement. Her eyes wandered and her fingers fidgeted, was she angry? This is what she’d do when she was trying not to yell at me. She didn’t believe me. She thought this was all a joke that I was playing on her. Was she still stuck in her Heaven? Mom, come back to me.
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