"Oh, Ian, I'm sorry." Rachel so desperately wanted Toby to have a father that she couldn't understand a woman who would behave like Jane.
"I've been lying awake, turning things over in my head," Ian said. "I'm worried about Ella. I need to put my mind at rest that she's okay, so I'm going to drive down to Cornwall tomorrow. I'm sorry to miss our day out tomorrow, but we'll have Christmas Day together."
Rachel had sensed this coming. She couldn't blame Ian for wanting to see Ella, but her heart pinched with disappointment. She'd built up Christmas in her mind to be this amazing family event when she and Toby would bond with Ian, the visit to the zoo, and then Christmas Day itself.
Life never lived up to her dreams.
Chapter Seven
Rachel leaned on the metal bars around the elevated walkway at the elephant's enclosure and stared down at the two mammoth creatures below. The closest one curled its trunk around a chunk of hay, lifted the bunch of grassy strands, and poked them in its mouth.
"What's it eating, Mummy?" Toby peered through the bars, a frown on his face beneath his wool hat.
"Hay. It's dried grass."
"Is that what the elephant has for Christmas dinner?"
Rachel laughed. "It's what it has for every dinner, sweetheart. Although I expect the zookeepers give the elephants fresh green food as well."
Toby nibbled the fingertips of his glove as he watched, fascinated by the creatures.
"Come on, let's look at the giraffes." Rachel took Toby's hand and he skipped along beside her to the next enclosure in the large barn-like building where the big animals lived during bad weather.
Other families wandered along with them. A couple with a baby in a stroller and a little boy about Toby's age laughed together, the father tickling the boy until the child collapsed giggling in the man's arms. He picked the boy up and hoisted him onto his shoulders. "There you go. You're as tall as the giraffe now."
Rachel's heart squeezed with pain at the look of longing on Toby's face as he leaned against her leg and stared up at the man with his son. "Will you lift me up high, Mummy?"
"I'm not strong enough, sweetie." Rachel crouched in front of him to tuck his scarf more tightly around his neck to keep out the cold. "You're such a big boy now that you're too heavy for me. I'm sure Ian will give you a ride on his shoulders, though. We'll go for a walk tomorrow after Christmas dinner. He can lift you up high so you'll be as tall as the Christmas tree."
Toby pouted and stubbed the toe of his boot into the stained cement. "I want to ride up high now so I'm tall like the giraffe."
Tears pricked Rachel's eyes and she blinked them away. If only Ian had come with them to the zoo, Toby would be getting his wish. This was to have been their day out together as a family. She'd been looking forward to it all week, imagining how much Toby would enjoy having Ian along on the day trip. But it wasn't Ian's fault he'd missed the visit. His daughter had to be his first priority; Rachel knew that.
She stood and grabbed Toby's hand, pasting on a happy smile. "Come on; let's go to the monkey house. There's an ice cream parlor overlooking the monkey's play area. Monkeys and ice cream sound fun, don't they?"
Toby trotted along beside her, a smile back on his face. Her little boy was remarkably resilient considering how many times he'd been let down by adults in his short life. Greg always let him down; even her parents had promised to come over for his birthday and canceled the visit because of her dad's illness. Now Ian had backed out of today's trip. It was nobody's fault, but the end result was that Toby missed out.
They settled on the plastic chairs in the monkey viewing area. Toby licked a polar-bear-shaped ice cream while they watched a group of chimpanzees climbing ropes and swinging on suspended tires.
Rachel's phone chimed and she pulled it out to check the screen. Ian had arrived in Cornwall. A smile pulled at her lips; she was delighted to get his message. He'd left early and called while they were eating breakfast to say he was halfway.
She did a mental calculation. If he spent a couple of hours in Cornwall then drove the seven hours home, he should be back around midnight. She prayed the weather remained clear and no more snow fell to interrupt his journey.
When they finished walking around the zoo, they stopped at the grocery store for some fresh vegetables for Christmas dinner. Rachel strapped Toby in his car seat and they headed home. A few flakes of snow started falling as they bumped down the lane towards Meadow Sweet Farm.
Paula, James, and Ryan were in the courtyard in front of the barn complex, building a snowman. Toby pressed his nose against the side window of the car as they drove past. "When can we build a snowman, Mummy?"
"Tomorrow, sweetie. There's no time today. It'll be getting dark soon." And she badly wanted Ian to be there to share the fun with them.
Rachel bathed Toby then prepared dinner, keeping her phone on the counter nearby, listening for the ding that meant she had a text. Ian had said he would let her know when he left Cornwall, but she hadn't heard from him yet. If he didn't start the journey soon, he wouldn't make it back for Christmas Day.
She let Max out after dinner. At the sight of thick, fluffy snowflakes tumbling from the sky, her heart dropped. Already another inch of snow had fallen since they came home. By the time Ian arrived, road conditions might be so bad the country lanes would be impassable.
The house phone rang. She dashed inside, dragging Max in by his collar so she could shut the door to keep out the cold. "Hello, Ian. Is that you?"
"I'm leaving now," he said, his voice strange. She wasn't sure if he sounded happy or upset.
"How did it go?"
"I'm bringing Ella home with me." Ian's voice cracked and he cleared his throat. "She's going to stay over Christmas, maybe longer."
"That's wonderful. I'm really happy for you."
"Could I ask you a favor? Will you turn up the radiator in the small bedroom at the end of the hall and make up the bed? You'll find little girls' bed linen in the linen closet in the bathroom."
"Sure. Drive carefully. It's snowing here again."
"Will do. See you later." Then the phone cut off.
"I love you," Rachel whispered. Her euphoria at hearing Ian's happy news faded to be replaced by doubts. Now Ella was coming, would Ian would want her and Toby to move out?
She stared at a painting of a chicken on the kitchen wall, her heart thumping so hard it hurt her chest. Just when Rachel thought she and Toby had found some stability, fate had turned everything upside down again.
***
Ian couldn't stop smiling. Even though he'd driven for fourteen hours, and his eyes were gritty with fatigue, he had never been happier in his life. His little girl was with him! Tonight she would sleep in her bedroom at Meadow Sweet Farm for the first time in over two years.
Ella had been such a good girl, no tears or tantrums when he carried her away from her mother and put her in his car. It was almost as if she was pleased to get away from Jane and Eric.
At that thought, conflicting emotions tore through Ian, a potent mix that clenched his gut with anger one moment and filled him with joy the next. He loved having his little girl with him, but it tore at his heart to think his baby's mother might not want her anymore.
The strange way Jane had behaved recently all made horrible sense now. She was pregnant, expecting Eric's child in a few weeks. That meant Ella was suddenly in the way.
Reaching across, Ian touched his daughter's chubby hand where she hugged her dolly. It took a lot for him to get emotional, but tears filled his eyes as he drove down the lane to Meadow Sweet Farm and stopped outside his house.
He had dreamed of this moment, longed for it. Ella was back home with him, where she belonged. If Ian had his way, this was where she would stay for good.
The security lights blinked on, casting a bright glow across the yard. A thick blanket of snow coated everything, smoothing out corners and covering the dirt. Everywhere was pristine white, and sparkling.
The back d
oor opened and Rachel's slim silhouette appeared in the doorway. He'd had plenty of time to think while he drove. He'd realized he wasn't only desperate to bring Ella home, he badly wanted her to meet Rachel and learn to love her. Rachel and Toby had become the most important people in his life along with Ella.
This was a tricky situation, but the four of them would be happy together. He'd make sure of it.
"We're home, precious." Ian leaned over and pressed a kiss to Ella's temple. Her eyelids flickered and she made a sleepy sound.
He released the straps securing her and pulled her into his arms. She curled against him and yawned. She was so tired she hardly knew what was happening.
"Let's get you inside where it's warm and up to your bed."
He opened the door and climbed out, being extra careful as he carried his daughter in case the snow underfoot hid ice.
"Hello." He grinned as he entered the kitchen. Rachel closed the door behind him. She kissed him and stepped back, her gaze moving from his face to his daughter, her expression curious.
"She's adorable. She looks like you."
That made him smile even wider, sentimental fool that he was.
"This is Rachel," Ian said to Ella. "She's staying here with her little boy, Toby. You'll meet him tomorrow."
"Hello, Ella." Rachel smiled and Ella blinked back. "What's your dolly's name?"
"Lulu." Ella held up her doll to show her off.
"Lulu looks very tired after her long journey. We have a lovely warm bed upstairs for you two."
Ian lowered his daughter to her feet, not wanting to put her down, wishing he could hold on to her forever and never let her go. But he needed to fetch the plastic grocery bags from the car that contained Ella's things.
He crouched in front of his daughter. "Will you go upstairs with Rachel? I'll come up in a minute."
She nodded. Rachel offered her hand and Ella took it. Max had climbed out of his bed and lumbered over. Ian stroked the dog's head and he nuzzled Ella's front. She giggled and bent to put her arms around Max's neck. Ian would swear the old dog smiled. Maybe he had missed her too.
***
Ella was adorable with dark wavy hair and brown eyes, a tiny female version of Ian. Rachel had been nervous about meeting her; now she wondered why. Ella was a darling little girl. Rachel loved children and it would be wonderful to have her here with them. She imagined Toby's excitement in the morning when he met her.
Ian dashed out the back door and Rachel led Ella through the hall to the stairs. The little girl stumbled and dropped her doll, obviously very tired. Rachel picked her up and carried her upstairs and along the hall to the smallest bedroom. She sat her on the bed, unfastened her shoes, and turned back the covers.
"Shall we visit the bathroom before you climb into bed?"
Ella nodded. They walked along the hall together and Rachel held Lulu while Ella used the toilet. She finished washing her hands and face as Ian appeared at the doorway with a toothbrush.
"Just in time," Rachel said. "Do you want to brush your own teeth?" she asked the child.
"I want Daddy to do it."
Rachel stepped out of the way to let Ian in. He put toothpaste on the brush and bent to clean his daughter's teeth, the grin still on his face. Her heart fluttered with pleasure to see Ian so happy. It was as if a light had come on inside him now Ella was here.
"There you go, precious," Ian said. "Time to get your pajamas on and jump into bed."
Rachel followed them back to the bedroom and watched Ian help Ella change, then snuggle her in bed. When he kissed her good night, she looped her arms around his neck.
"Do you remember your bedroom, darling?" he asked.
Ella nodded.
"You were only two when you last slept here. Your crib used to be up against that wall."
When Ian tried to withdraw, Ella hung on tight, whimpering in distress. "Don't go, Daddy."
He climbed on the bed and stretched out beside her. "It's all right, darling. I'll stay if you want me to."
Ian kissed his daughter and stroked her hair, his little girl so small and delicate beside him. It was easy to see he adored Ella and was a caring father—exactly what Rachel had expected, exactly what she longed for Toby to have. This kind man had enough love for all of them; she was sure of it.
She leaned over, breathed in the fresh herbal scent of him, and kissed his cheek. "I'm glad to have you back safely. See you in the morning. Sleep well."
He turned his head, a sleepy smile on his face. "Thank you for being so understanding. I love you, Rach."
He loved her. Words she had dreamed of him saying for so many years. She sank to her knees beside the bed and wrapped her arms around him, resting her cheek on his. "I love you too, darling. So much."
"When things settle down, we'll have time for ourselves, just the two of us. I promise."
"I can wait." After eight years, what were a few more days? Rachel laughed and pressed her face against his neck, hugging him tightly, willing him to sense just how much she loved him, this man who had the knack of turning problems into new opportunities.
Chapter Eight
Rachel woke to the patter of small feet and childish laughter outside her bedroom door. She smiled as she yawned and stretched. It sounded as though Toby and Ella had found each other already.
Eager to start Christmas Day, she jumped out of bed, pulled on her dressing gown, and pushed her feet in her slippers. In the hall, Ella and Toby sat on the carpet outside Ian's bedroom door, playing.
"Lulu can be Jimbo's girlfriend," Toby said seriously. "They have to hold hands." He stood his teddy beside Ella's doll and pressed their hands together.
Love and tenderness swelled inside Rachel. The children were so sweet together. No one would guess they had both lived through difficult experiences recently and only just met.
"Hello, you two. Merry Christmas." Rachel stooped to kiss Toby's head and put an arm around each child's shoulders. Toby kissed her back and Ella curled shyly against her side.
Ian's bedroom door stood wide but he was still asleep, despite the excited chatter of the children. Rachel smiled down at Ella. "I think we'd better leave Daddy to sleep in, don't you?" He must have been exhausted after his long drive.
Rachel rose and moved to close the door. As she did, she noticed the photo on his bedside table. A wonderful idea came to her.
She tiptoed into the room, casting a longing glance at Ian, so gorgeous with his dark hair all ruffled. She kissed him lightly on the neck without disturbing him, grabbed the photo frame off his nightstand, and slipped out of the room, pulling the door shut behind her.
Rachel found dressing gowns and slippers for both children, then led them downstairs. Max rose from his basket, tail wagging furiously as the children charged into the kitchen. "Max, Max," they both shouted, hugging and patting him. The dog looked very pleased with himself as Rachel opened the back door and let him out.
Max loped through a foot of snow covering the yard, barking at a rabbit that had ventured too close to the house.
"Toby, Ella, look at the snow." The children rushed to gaze out of the door, the Christmas excitement bubbling over as they jumped up and down.
"Can we build a snowman, Mummy?"
"As soon as we've finished breakfast. You need something warm in those tummies before you go outside." Rachel tickled them both so they dashed away giggling, then called Max inside.
As soon as the children had plates of scrambled eggs on toast, she made herself a slice of toast and sat down, her sketch pad open on the table, the photo from Ian's nightstand in front of her. She'd specialized in horses, but she'd also been good at drawing people. With luck, that skill hadn't deserted her.
Finishing her toast, she brushed the crumbs from her hands and carefully scrutinized the photo, mentally sketching the image of Ian holding Ella before she put pen to paper. When she was sure she knew what to do, she started.
She shielded her drawing from the children with a brea
kfast cereal box. She didn't want them to tell Ian and spoil the surprise. After thirty minutes, she was finished. The picture wasn't as good as she'd wanted, but then they never were. Given more time, she would have used special paper and had the drawing framed, but she could do that after Christmas.
She rolled up the page from her sketchbook, wrapped it in Christmas paper, then padded through to the sitting room in her slippers and popped it under the tree with the other presents. As Ella had arrived unexpectedly, Rachel didn't have a gift for her. Chewing her lip in thought, she sorted out one of her presents to Toby and relabeled it for Ella.
With the children bouncing around, eager to get dressed and go outside, Rachel put the turkey in the oven, then carrying a cup of tea for Ian, she herded the little ones upstairs. She intended to tap on Ian's door and wake him gently, but Toby and Ella reached there first and burst into the room.
"Daddy, Daddy, it's Christmas," Ella shouted.
"It's Christmas," Toby chimed in, bouncing around on the mattress on his knees, holding Ella's hands. Even Max had made it up the stairs to join them. He waggled his way around the bed, tail going like mad, and licked Ian's face.
The poor man spluttered, raising a hand to protect himself. "Enough, already. I'm awake."
"Merry Christmas. Sorry about the rude awakening. I tried to let you sleep late." Rachel put his cup of tea on the nightstand and slipped the photo frame back in place at the same time.
Ian grabbed her hand and slid over, making room for her. "Come here and give me a Christmas cuddle."
With a girlish giggle, she let him pull her underneath the covers. Sensation zinged along her nerves as she snuggled against his warm body.
He kissed her and leaned back, a smile on his face. "Merry Christmas, my darling. Sorry I didn't get a chance to ask how your day at the zoo went."
"We had fun, but we missed you."
"I'm glad you missed me. I wanted to be there."
A Christmas Family Wish Page 6