He knew he couldn’t hold on much longer. He needed to be inside her, moving with her in a rhythm that matched the power of his desire. He touched the tip of his erection to her moist opening. He wanted to bury himself in her, take her with all he had, but he didn’t want to hurt her. Instead he eased himself in slowly. She was tight, which immediately sent a mixed signal racing to his brain. Then he hit the barrier that said it all. What she was giving him was something no other man had ever known. He instantly felt selfish for wanting her as he did.
He pulled back slightly to look in her face.
“Melanie?”
She pressed her fingers to his lips. “Ssh, please don’t say it. I want this. I want you inside me.”
He pressed his face against hers, breathing hard with aching need, knowing it would be torture if he had to pull away now. “Are you sure?”
She grasped his hips and pulled him to her, and the decision was made. He wanted to drive himself in her until they both ripped apart with their climax. He didn’t want to care that he could hurt her, but he did, and because he did he held himself back enough to keep from tearing her in two.
They rode the wave of each thrust, together climbing until he could no longer hold on, and his climax split through him like lightning striking.
They held each other for a long time until finally he rolled over to his side, pulling her into the cradle of his embrace.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispered, stroking the wisps of hair that perspiration clung to her face.
“It didn’t matter.”
“Of course it matters.”
“Maybe it did once, when I’d been waiting for someone to come into my life. Someone special.”
“So why now?”
Her eyes were glowing, and she smiled sheepishly, tracing his lips with her fingers. “I found someone special.”
He didn’t know why, but it scared the hell out of him to hear her say it. He knew his feelings for her were real. He knew that she shared his desire. But he hadn’t thought beyond what their love making could mean. And he didn’t want to. Because it would only mean an end to the happiness he was holding in his arms right at that moment.
* * *
IT TOOK CONSIDERABLE strength for Melanie to pull herself from Stoney's arms when she woke the next morning. She'd slept so peacefully. Making love with Stoney had been incredible and in his arms it was easy to forget...
She'd been lost in a whirlwind of emotion and desire. No matter how hard Stoney had tried to warn her that she shouldn't expect anything more than what was offered, she couldn't help it. Somewhere in the freedom of the mountains, in the cool night air, and sun kissed meadows, she'd fallen in love with Stoney Buxton. It was more than she could bear.
She didn't care that she was playing with fire. She'd wanted Stoney. She'd dreamed of him, of his rough hands running over her smooth skin, promising to bring her to heights she'd never been before. And he had. It didn't matter that he was only giving her a moment of his love.
His love? Stoney had never said that he loved her. She had been consumed with the love she felt for him. But she had no idea if his feelings were the same. Sure, he'd made love to her, but she'd also thrown herself at him.
As he'd said, a man only has so much strength. Making love didn't make Stoney in love with her. It made them lovers.
With the morning light, she needed to keep her head straight and take care of herself.
Guilt stabbed at her. She had shared the biggest part of herself with Stoney last night. She never knew she could feel so connected to one person. And she was lying to him.
Well, not lying, she reasoned as she climbed into her tent and pulled out her medical supplies. She was keeping an important secret from Stoney. She hadn't told him about her diabetes, and he had a right to know. But would he understand her reasons for not telling him in the first place?
She quickly finished packing her duffel and took down her tent while Stoney slept. She made a vow to herself. They were going to reach the high country today. Tonight when they set up camp, she would tell Stoney everything and hope he'd understand. After all, everything had worked out well so far.
* * *
OMINOUS BLACK AND gray clouds rolled over the sky from nowhere. Melanie had never seen anything like it before in her life. Her heart jumped to her throat with each crack of thunder.
“This storm looks like it is going to be pretty bad. We’re going to need to take cover,” Stoney said worriedly.
“I’m not bothered by a little rain.”
“It’s not the rain I’m worried about. These storms come in quick, but they can be brutal. Especially at this higher elevation. The thunder and lightning is like nothing you’ve ever seen. I have no desire to be a human lightning rod.”
Dolly started whinnying and bobbing her head as another boom of thunder ricocheted off the mountains.
Stoney looked at the landscape as if he was assessing the best place to go, his face grim.
“Hold on to her,” he said, glancing back. “It looks like there may be someplace for us to hold off until the storm passes down this hill. The path looks a little narrow, so take her good and slow. I’m going to go down first. Give me a little room for Thunder and Chester to move at their own pace, and then come down after us.”
Stoney led Thunder and Chester down the rocky path. At first, Melanie didn’t think it was any harder than the other trails they’d been on so far. But as the rain beat down harder and a river of water washed the rocks beneath Dolly’s hooves, her adrenaline kicked in. They’d always attempted their downhill climbs in good weather. Now with Dolly on edge every time a thunderclap ripped through the sky, Melanie wasn’t so sure of herself.
They’d made it halfway down the embankment when the trail gradually pitched off to one side, revealing a steeper cliff. She let Dolly lead and take as much time as she needed, nudging her only when she stopped for more than a few seconds.
Relief filled her when they finally reached the bottom. It was raining hard now. Stoney slid out of the saddle and began searching one of the duffels until he pulled out two rain ponchos. Melanie sprang from the saddle and held on to Dolly’s reins while she pulled the poncho over her head.
Abruptly, a bright flash of lightning zipped through the sky and struck a tall aspen pine just on the edge of the forest. The tree snapped like a matchstick and fell to the ground with a booming crash. They were far enough away to be out of danger. But it was close enough to spook Dolly, who reared up and neighed.
“Whoa!” Melanie pulled Dolly’s reins, but Dolly would have no part of it. The ruckus was enough to rile Thunder and Chester, and Stoney fought to keep them in control. Another clap of thunder rolled in, and Dolly reared up, causing the reins to break free of Melanie’s grip. Without anything holding her back, Dolly took off on a run like a wild stallion. All Melanie could do was stare as the mare bolted into the forest.
“Damn! We’ll have to wait until the storm subsides to go after her,” Stoney said. “Right now we need to take cover.”
As Stoney promised, the storm went as quick as it came. Completely drenched, they walked through the wooded area where they’d seen Dolly last. After an hour of searching, they found the mare in a thick stand of pines, her reins tangled in a low tree limb. Despite her efforts to break free, she was stuck. Melanie breathed an instant sigh of relief.
When they reached the frightened horse, Stoney worked to unsnarl her reins while Melanie stroked her hand up and down Dolly’s nose. It was then that Melanie thought her world had shattered.
She looked past the saddle to the horse’s smooth backside where her saddlebag was once secured. She felt the blood drain from her face, and she began to sway. The saddlebag holding all her insulin, her lifeline, was gone.
Stoney stood beside Melanie, his eyes drawn to her trembling hands. She turned around to face him and he had to stifle a gasp. “That storm must have rattled you as much as it did Dolly. You’re as white as these sno
wcapped mountains,” Stoney said.
“My saddlebag is gone,” she said weakly, smoothing back the ruffled coat behind Dolly’s saddle as if willing the bag to reappear.
Stoney bent down and carefully inspected the horse's legs, checking for injury. “She doesn’t look hurt, just spooked.” He glanced over at Melanie. She frantically searched the ground around the immediate area. “What are you doing?”
She didn’t answer and continued searching.
He stood up straight and called out, “It must have broken free when Dolly bolted. It could be anywhere within the mile we just came.”
Melanie drew in a labored breath and swung around. Her face was haunting. “I need that bag, Stoney.”
“We’ll look for it tomorrow.”
“You don't understand. We have to find it now!”
Maybe he’d been wrong to take her this far up into the mountains. She could be having a reaction to the altitude. Some people did and spent a good deal of time wishing they were dead until the ill feeling passed. But Melanie didn’t look as if she were about to lose her lunch. She looked drawn and afraid.
“It’s going to be dark soon. We might walk right over it and not see it. You had food in the saddlebag, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, some.”
He heaved a sigh. “That does present a problem. An animal might smell the food and take off with it.”
Her eyes flew open wide and her expression was one of sheer horror. “There were things...I have to find it, Stoney.” She turned and walked back the way they’d just come, scanning the surrounding area as she went.
He took off after her. “Now hold on. We’re losing the light.” He curled his fingers around her upper arm, forcing her to stop. “As long as an animal doesn’t stumble upon it during the night, we should be able to backtrack tomorrow.”
She hesitated a moment, then nodded, but the worried look remained. “Do you think it is likely an animal will take it?”
He bent down and kissed her cheek. He wasn’t sure for whose benefit. Her skin was cold and clammy, and he noticed she was trembling. He had the incredible urge to scoop her up into his arms and hold her close, as he had last night. “Don’t worry. You can probably replace anything you lost when we get back.”
She didn’t look appeased. Instead, she took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around herself as if she were fighting a chill.
Women. He never understood all the money they spent on beauty supplies that men never gave any mind to. Delia had her dresser littered with the stuff growing up. Melanie was probably worried about missing her favorite perfume or face cream when she should be worrying about losing the essentials. Up in the higher elevations they didn’t have to worry about mosquitoes and black flies biting through their clothes. But once they made their way back down to the valley again, she wouldn’t be thinking about cosmetics as much as the extra bottle of bug juice she’d lost in that pack.
“Come on, your teeth are chattering. We’re soaked to the bone. Let’s just set up camp and get a fire going so we can dry these clothes. Some hot supper and a good night’s sleep will do us a world of good.” He drew her into his arms and brushed his hand across her cheek, feeling the softness of her skin against his rough fingers. “I promise we will look for the saddlebag in the morning.”
They ate dinner in virtual silence. Stoney noticed Melanie picked at her food but kept drinking water from her canteen. If she was feeling sick from the altitude, it was just as well. The food would only come back up with a vengeance.
As beat as he felt, and knowing Melanie was just as bad, he built the campfire to help dry out their clothes. Once he’d finished checking the horses, he found her sitting by the fire with her arms wrapped tightly around her middle.
“You’ll warm up fine once we're in the bedrolls. Are you sure you’re feeling okay? You know, there’s no shame in admitting you're having trouble with the altitude.”
A tear rolled down her cheek, and it glistened with the light of the fire. “I'll be okay if you hold me.”
He opened his arms and she came to him in an instant. He felt her body ease slightly into his, felt her tremble, felt the tension in her muscles despite his attempt to bring her comfort.
“You aren’t still worrying about your saddlebag?”
She shook her head weakly, but he didn’t believe her. Something was definitely wrong.
“Here, let me help these,” Stoney said, taking Melanie's hands in his and rubbing them.
Melanie couldn’t help but think of how her hands felt so small in Stoney's larger, more powerful hands. It was if nothing could hurt her if she was with him. She hadn’t expected to feel the way she did. Over the past few days, it had been easy to forget the reason they were here at all. She recalled Stoney’s warning after he’d kissed her the other night. Let’s not forget the reason we’re here.
She had forgotten. She’d fallen in love with the big Wyoming sky and the Wind River Mountains. Out here, she wasn’t different or special. She could just be herself.
But that wasn’t all, she realized. She’d fallen in love with Stoney. Somehow, he’d crept into her heart when she wasn’t looking and claimed it for his own. When she was with him, she felt whole. It was something she’d never known before.
“Let's get some sleep,” he finally said.
The burden of tears weighed heavy behind her eyelids and she bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. She held his hand tight. It was now or never. She couldn’t keep this secret from him any longer.
“Tell me what is wrong,” he said, looking at her for the first time with concern.
Melanie drew in a deep breath and worried her bottom lip.
“You’re not having second thoughts about last night, are you?”
She snapped her gaze up to his face. “No, no. I don’t. Do you?”
He shook his head, but his worried look remained. Bending his head, he kissed her forehead. “Never.” He finally gave her a half grin. “Now that we've settled that, why don't we crawl into those sleeping bags and generate a little heat.”
He tossed her a deep-dimpled grin. It was that sexy, happy-go-lucky grin that drove her crazy so often.
“I need to tell you something.” She felt the weight of her predicament on her shoulders. She took a deep breath and stared at him, trying to push the words past her fear. “I’m in trouble, Stoney.”
He searched her expression. She saw a thousand emotions pass through his features before she finally saw bewilderment.
She continued. “We have to go back. Right now.”
He stood up straight, his eyebrows knitting together. “No, you’re doing great. Look at the way you crossed that river without any help from me. Before we started, I thought you couldn’t hack it, but I have to admit you’re doing better than I thought a pretty little city gal would do out here. Give yourself some credit.”
Her heart ached with his compliment, however left-handed. She’d deceived him, and now that deception was coming back to haunt her. He assumed she was having doubts about her ability to make it the whole month. After all, they’d been through these past couple of days, he believed in her.
She should have told him about her diabetes. She knew that now. He had a right to know. But hindsight was a luxury she hadn’t put faith in.
“I’m sick, Stoney. I’m really sick.”
#
Chapter Nine
STONEY’S EYEBROWS KNITTED together with her words. “You didn’t pick any of those berries we saw yesterday, did you?”
Melanie shook her head impatiently. Puking from eating a hand full of bad berries was nothing compared to what she was facing. “No.”
He heaved a sigh, showing his relief. “Good, because they’d make you wish you were dead.”
She clenched her stomach as a wave of nausea hit.
His expression blanched. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I have diabetes,” she blurted out.
His face didn’t register a
ny change, and she knew he didn’t understand. How could he? She’d hidden it from him the entire time they’d been together. How could he know that she had the kind of condition that required daily medical attention?
She drew in a deep breath of clean air to help settle her nausea and started again. “The lost saddlebag–”
“Oh, God,” he gasped, closing his eyes as awareness seemed to flood him.
“It had my insulin and my blood machine.” She swallowed, tasting bile. “I’ve been diabetic since I was seven.”
His jaw tightened, and his breathing was labored, but the fear etched on his chiseled features was unmistakable. In his face, she saw that he was afraid, and he was angry. And he had every right to be. Her heart pounded in her chest, knowing whatever wrath he’d yet to unleash was much deserved on her part.
“I know I should have told you.”
“You’re damn right!” he thundered. His voice seemed to reverberate on the mountains around them, causing Melanie to hunch down. “Good Lord, Melanie, what were you thinking? We’re a good two days away from any help at all. The radio is no good up here. Your medical supplies are gone, and we have no way to contact anyone to help us get you out of here.”
He began pacing. He pulled off his hat and jammed his fingers through his dark hair.
“I thought I had it under control,” she countered.
Stoney paced in front of her, his warm breath clouding as it hit the cold night air. After a minute, he stopped, and she silently watched his eyes graze the black nothingness of the night. She guessed he was quickly trying to assess their options. But she knew any one of them would be grim. She had only one hope, to get to a hospital as soon as possible and regulate her sugar. She was cold and she hugged herself to keep from shivering.
“Okay,” he began, taking each breath with visible control. “We’re two days from any kind of help. A day and a half if we push ourselves. What can I expect? How are you going to hold up?”
She clenched her hands together and said, “I should be okay tonight. I had a full dose of insulin this morning, and my night insulin shot is always a much lower dosage.”
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