“Okay, that's tonight. What about tomorrow?”
“I didn't eat that much tonight. I need to keep drinking water and moving. Tomorrow I'm going to start to feel it. After two days...it could be bad.”
“Define bad.”
“Fatigue, disorientation.”
He swallowed. “And then?”
Melanie’s heart squeezed. She knew what he wanted to hear, but couldn’t give him the words that would bring him comfort. This was not a time to lie.
“Everything is gone?” he asked, a wistful hope in his eyes.
She gave a faint nod, hating the way the disappointment hit him. “The insulin. My blood monitoring machine and my sterile hypodermic needles.” She threw her hands up in the air, but had to stifle her panic as the enormity of the situation hit her. Fear flashed across his face at an alarming speed. Fear she wouldn’t allow herself to feel fully. She had to stay calm and alert if she had any chance of helping Stoney get her through this alive. “Everything.”
He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath that stretched his chest against his shirt and tugged his jacket open. She saw him shudder. The sun was long gone, and it had to be close to freezing at this altitude. Stoney didn't appear cold. He was numb, oblivious to the elements and lost in whatever it was he was trying to figure out.
“I know all about this disease,” she assured him, trying to instill some semblance of confidence. She touched his shoulder, feeling how taut his muscles grew beneath her fingers. “I take care of myself.”
He shrugged his arm from her hold. In his expression, she saw the cold mask he’d worn for the first few days they’d been together. He was shutting himself off again. “Do you? Then why the hell didn’t you tell me?”
“How would telling you have prevented this?”
“I would have known!”
“You would have coddled me,” she countered. “You wouldn’t have agreed to help me.”
He shook his head.
“A week and a half ago you would have jumped at any reason to turn me down. Telling you about my diabetes would have been an easy out for you.”
He looked at her, and she noticed some of his anger had eased, but not his fear. “You’re right. But you still should have told me before last night. I had a right to know.”
Her heart plummeted. “How would that have made a difference?”
“I’m responsible for you. I’m supposed to be protecting you.”
“Don’t give me that macho crap. How would telling you about my diabetes have changed our making love?”
His eyes bore into her for a long agonizing moment before she saw them soften. “It wouldn’t. But it would have shown that you trusted me.” He turned away from her.
“I thought I made that more than apparent last night.”
He grabbed his saddlebag from the ground and began sifting through it, pulling out items and dropping them to the wet earth. Finally, he opened the map.
“I thought you said you didn’t need that.”
He didn’t look at her. “I have to think.” Gripping the map, he crumbled it and threw it to the ground. “I could have separated the vials,” he mumbled.
“What?”
“I could have put the vials in different duffel bags or...something. If we’d lost one, we’d still have enough to get us back. If I had known...”
He was right. She’d been wrong to keep something so vitally important from him. She wasn’t experienced enough in the wilderness to understand the dangers of what she was risking. But Stoney was. He’d tried to tell her the first day she’d asked for his help. She hadn’t trusted him with her secret, and now it was too late.
“I’m sorry.”
“Me, too. But we don’t have time for that. You need to tell me everything if we’re going to make it to the reservation.”
“The reservation? We’re not heading back the way we came?”
“It’ll take too long to get you to the hospital in Riverton. The clinic on the Wind River Reservation is closer. Joshua will take care of you. But right now, we need to get some rest so we can get up early and find that saddlebag. Who knows, maybe we'll get lucky.”
Stoney held her tight during the night and slept as restlessly as she had. Now with the morning light, they had to get moving. She needed to find that damned saddlebag and her insulin.
Stoney had been right. They wouldn’t have been able to find it in the dark last night. She’d eaten a light dinner and drank plenty of water, as she’d been taught, hoping to keep her sugar level down. In Stoney’s arms, it was easy to forget that she had diabetes. She’d wanted him to hold her and it felt so good when he had. There was nothing they could do to find her insulin until the morning anyway.
But now it had been a full 24 hours since her last insulin shot. She'd never allowed herself to go this long before. Fear flew through her at an alarming speed. Would she make it to the clinic in time? Would she lose everything and Stoney, too? She didn't want to think about it.
She lifted up, leaning on her elbow, feeling the weight of Stoney’s strong arms holding her and keeping her body warm. She was drawn not only to the erotic scent of the man who’d brought her to the pinnacle of passion, but to the scent of clean mountain air. The kind of fresh morning air you only breathe in after a new snowfall.
She quickly threw on the clothes she'd worn the night before and climbed out of the tent. Her heart nearly buried in the frozen ground when she saw the blanket of white covering the ground around them. It would make it almost impossible to find her saddlebag now.
Already her mouth was parched. She needed water fast. And she had to find that saddlebag.
It was only a short walk to the tree where Dolly had tangled herself the previous night. Maybe if the trees had sheltered the ground around the area from snow, she still had a chance of finding the saddlebag...and her insulin.
Disappointment hit her hard in the chest. The snow covered her boots past her ankle. Each and every small bump in the snow looked like it may be her saddlebag. She quickly brushed away the snow on a few mounds she found on the ground only to have a boulder or clump of sticks reveal itself. They'd waste a lot of time looking for her saddlebag. Their best bet was to head back.
She wrapped herself in her fleece-lined jacket in an effort to keep warm, feeling the crisp air singe her nose and her lungs. As she made her way back to the tent, she heard Stoney stir. A minute later, he pulled down the flap of the tent and stepped out into the morning sunshine. He shielded his eyes until they adjusted to the glare of the sun on the snow.
Beneath his jacket, she saw a blue thermal cotton shirt he hadn’t bothered to tuck into the waistband of his jeans. He rubbed his hands as he walked over to her, kicking up light snow as he stepped. His face was void of the serene look he'd had yesterday morning. Of course, they'd made love the night before. She'd wanted to believe she had a hand at making his step a little lighter then. She was sure the drawn look he gave her now was her doing.
Reaching out, he scooped her up from the boulder she'd been leaning against and kissed her soundly on the lips. She wanted to melt into him. She wanted him to make her feel warm and protected as he had last night and the night before when they'd made love. Cupping her cheek, he kissed her lightly now and then pulled back to look at her face.
“I'd say it's a beautiful morning, but this does present a big problem,” he said.
She looked away toward the trees. “I've already been out there searching.”
He looked at her at arm’s length. “Without me?”
“I didn't go far. Just to where we found Dolly. It'll take a miracle to find that saddlebag, Stoney.”
His sighed and looked toward the snow covered aspen pines. “Then we'll head back to the Ranger Station and hope for a miracle there.”
Melanie drew in a deep breath of cold morning air, getting no relief from it, thinking about the long trek ahead. Little did Stoney know, it was going to take a miracle.
* * *
“How are you doing, Sunshine?” he asked.
“Tired,” she muttered, slumping back against his chest.
“It’s okay. Just lean back against me for a while. We’re just going to go a little bit more.”
“I need to walk again. I need to burn off some of the sugar in my system.”
She’d been walking on and off all day instead of riding in the saddle. For the last half hour, he rode with her on Thunder. He felt safer with her next to him.
“You’re too weak.”
“It doesn’t matter. I have to do it,” she insisted, pulling on Thunder's reins signaling all three horses to stop.
In the end, he conceded, letting her walk alongside Dolly as he walked aside Thunder and Chester.
Thank goodness for the full moon, Stoney thought as they made their way through a grassy pasture. It wasn’t a good idea for them to be trailing at night. It made it difficult to judge the terrain. The last thing he needed was for one of the horses to lose their footing. At least the moon cast enough light while they were out in the open to make it easier to see. When they reached the thick stand of pines, visibility would be gone and they’d have no choice but to stop for the night.
Stoney had never known fear like this before. He felt so helpless knowing there wasn’t a damned thing he could do to help Melanie. Nothing but stay with her and push on.
When they finally decided to stop, Melanie persisted in setting up the tent and the sleeping bags while he took care of the horses. He found her curled up on top of her bedroll inside the tent.
“Here, drink some water.”
She took the canteen and kept drinking. “It’s empty,” she said weakly.
“I’ll get more. Are you hungry?”
She shook her head. “I’m so tired, Stoney.”
“Okay, you rest.”
He made a light dinner. There wasn’t much Melanie could have that wouldn’t elevate her blood sugar even more. She picked at what little she could. He filled both canteens with water, just in case she needed them during the night, and readied a spot near camp in case she had to go to the bathroom. She kept having to pee. She said that was normal. Although he’d wanted to help her in her weakened state, indignation rose up and she insisted on supporting herself.
After he’d packed away the last of the dinner supplies, he slipped in beside her, fearing the night and what may come. How would she be when they woke up in the morning? She’d be worse, no doubt. He didn’t want to think about whether or not they’d make it to the clinic in time.
“Stoney?”
Her voice was clearer and stronger than it had been, giving him a momentary feeling of relief. Maybe all she’d need was a little sleep.
He stroked his fingers along her temples. “You feeling better?”
“A little.” She was quiet for a moment, but he thought he heard her sniff back a sob. “I’m sorry, Stoney. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. With Melanie safe in his arms, he felt more secure, as if all the awful things he feared wouldn’t touch them. He wanted to believe they’d wake up in the morning and she’d be feeling like her old self again, kicking up a fit because he was coddling her. But he knew it was a lie. He’d seen how fast she’d faded on him today. And from what she’d told him, tomorrow would only be worse.
“Ssh.”
“You must hate me for this.”
He closed his eyes. No, hate had nothing to do with the way he felt. It was then that he knew for sure that he loved her. Somehow, despite all their differences and dreams, he’d fallen in love with Melanie. He couldn’t think about what would happen if they didn’t make it to the reservation in time. He didn’t want to think about tomorrow and how much weaker Melanie would be, how much more she’d rely on him. He only wanted to think about how she felt in his arms at that moment. How making love with her had been everything and nothing he’d ever felt before.
He buried his face in her hair and kissed her, letting his lips linger against her silky strands, breathing in the fragrance that was uniquely Melanie.
“Try to get some sleep.”
She murmured and he listened to her breathing until it was steady. He continued listening until his own body gave up to fatigue and joined her in sleep.
#
Chapter Ten
DAWN DIDN’T COME soon enough. Melanie had never felt so wretched in all her life. Her body shook and her mouth was filled with the foul taste of bile. Damn, she’d always been careful. She’d always made sure she put her health first. How could she have been so stupid?
She rushed out of the tent and found the place she’d visited at least twice during the night to relieve herself. She kept waking up, her throat as dry as a cotton field, and drinking water from the canteens Stoney had left by her sleeping bag.
The sun was just peaking over the mountains now. They should get going soon. Although the lower elevations were warmer and it looked as if the day was starting out to be beautiful, Melanie knew that weather could change at any moment. If they hit a thunderstorm, it would slow them down enough to keep them from getting to the reservation.
She hated waking Stoney. He’d been so restless during the night. It was early morning when he’d finally fallen into a deep sleep and he surely hadn’t gotten enough to keep up his strength.
Melanie climbed into the tent and plopped down onto the sleeping bag beside Stoney. He was already stirring as she brushed her fingers across his temples.
“We’re moving too slow. I’m not sure we’re going to make it to the reservation by nightfall,” was the first thing out of his mouth when his eyelids drifted open. Clearly, this was what had taken hold of him all night.
Stoney watched the lines around Melanie’s cinnamon eyes deepen with fear, wishing he had the power to smooth them and make her smile again. Still, he didn’t speak out loud the words he feared the most.
He lifted himself from the ground and leaned on his elbow, nuzzling her shoulder, kissing her and trying to bring himself some comfort.
“I’m going to head out alone today,” Stoney said delicately.
Melanie stiffened and drew away slightly, piercing him with a shocked look. And he knew what she was thinking. She thought he was abandoning her. Though he knew that going out on his own he’d be able to get help faster, that was exactly how he felt.
“I can move faster on Thunder if I–”
“If you don’t have me holding you back?”
“If I can get in range, I can radio the Park Services. The Ranger may be able to get a helicopter to meet us.” He reached over and took Melanie in his arms. He didn’t want to let go. To his great relief, instead of pulling away, she sank against him. He wasn’t there for his father when the barn collapsed, and now he was leaving Melanie. God, he didn’t want to let her go. “You’re not going to be able to handle crossing the river,” he said, hoping she’d understand.
She straightened her spine, about to give him hell like she’d done so many times over the past week. Abruptly, her tension was gone as quickly as it came. “You’re right,” she said softly. “I’m not strong enough, and I’m slowing us down.”
Her eyes filled with unspilled tears and were so sad it made his heart ache. He pushed back the strands of hair from her face and brushed her cheek with his thumb. “I’m coming back as soon as I can radio help. I know you’re afraid, but I’m going to be back...” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I promise you, I’m coming back for you.”
“Of course you will,” she said, her lips stretching into a smile, her voice suddenly confident. That was his girl.
Lifting herself up to the challenge. But deep inside all he felt was how he’d let her down.
He didn’t waste any time packing. They could leave their gear and come back for it later, after Melanie was safe. Before he mounted Thunder, he checked his saddlebag twice to make sure the radio was packed and ready. He was about to strap his shotgun on the saddle and abruptly stopped.
Gripping the cold steel, he turned to Melanie, who was standing a few feet away. He held out the shotgun to her. “Keep this by your side.”
She shook her head and placed her hand over her stomach.
“I’ve never shot a gun before in my life. I wouldn’t know what to do with it.”
“I can’t leave you here with nothing. You have to have something to protect yourself.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but instead of saying her piece, she gripped the gun awkwardly in her hands. Stoney quickly explained how to unlock the safety and fire.
The heat of the sun was beating down on him when he finally mounted Thunder. The warm smell of sagebrush and pine lingered in the air. He nodded his head toward the gun on the ground by the tent. “You use it if you have to.”
“I’m not going to need it. You’ll be back,” she said, smiling. He felt like hell was eating a hole inside of him, and she was smiling her sweet sunshine smile. Lord, how he loved this woman.
He rode away with only one thought. He was leaving Melanie behind to face God only knew what. And though she had faith that he was going to get help for her, he had no idea if he was going to make it in time.
It was more than two hours before Stoney made it to a meadow. It immediately brought back the memory of watching Melanie picking wildflowers on the day they rode out at the ranch.
He was still more than a half day ride to the nearest Ranger Station. Thunder was pushing at a good clip, moving with Stoney as if the animal were an extension of him. The weather was on his side. He’d just made it to the cover of the pines when he’d heard a sound that made him pause. “Whoa, Thunder,” he said, pulling on the reins and listening. Although they were no longer moving, Stoney had a hard time hearing over Thunder’s movement as he clopped in place on the dry earth.
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