Cowboy at the Crossroads

by Linda Warren

  Becca had a quick bath and put on a big T-shirt. She studied her face in the mirror and saw that it was much improved. The bruise was fading and the swelling had gone down. She’d always been a fast healer.

  She went into the bedroom, wondering where Cord was. They hadn’t said good-night and she was hoping that just maybe they’d spend this night together. She hadn’t expected him to leave so suddenly. Where was he?

  CORD STOOD AT HIS BEDROOM window, staring out into the darkness. His mind seemed numb, overwhelmed by the confusion of his thoughts. Was someone out there trying to hurt Becca? Or were they trying to hurt him? He didn’t have any answers—just like before. Everything was just like before. The not knowing was the intolerable part. What was out there that he couldn’t see? And why couldn’t he? If there was a traitor on his property, he had to know. Around and around his thoughts went, until he threw back his head and clenched his fists. He had to know.

  The place to start is Anette’s room.

  But that had nothing to do with Becca, he told himself. Then realization dawned. In a way, it did. Until he resolved his feelings about the past, he had no future. And all he could see in his future was Becca. All he wanted was Becca. Cord knew what had to be done—and he was finally ready to do it.

  He opened a drawer and took out a key. A key from the past. The key to the room he’d shared with Anette.

  BECCA SAT CROSS-LEGGED on her bed, trying to read an article she’d been working on all day. But her eyes kept straying to the door. Was Cord not going to say good-night? She couldn’t believe how much that hurt her.

  Just as she became absorbed in the article, there was a tap at the door. Her head jerked up, and she smiled as Cord stepped into the room.

  “Hi,” he said, walking over to the bed and taking in her smooth legs. A warmth settled in his loins, but he forced himself to ignore it. First things first. “I’ve been thinking,” he said as he sat down.

  “Have you?” She ran her hand across his broad shoulders, loving the way his muscles tensed.

  He caught her hand. “Yes, and you’re right.”

  “About what?”

  “Anette’s room.”

  She hadn’t expected this. “You mean…”

  “Yes. It’s time for me to get rid of her things and close that door of my life forever.”

  “Oh, Cord.”

  “I’ve been so angry with her that I couldn’t go in there. Now I feel I can, and I want to do it while Nicki’s asleep, but I need your support.”

  “Of course.” She squeezed his hand.

  He raised an eyebrow. “Ready?”

  “Now?”

  “Yes. I’ve got two big boxes in the hall.”

  “Okay,” she said, getting off the bed. When he decided to do something, he meant business. But she was so glad. Cord needed to be free, and this was the beginning of that freedom.

  She followed him down the hall to the locked door, where two boxes waited to be filled with the remnants of Anette’s life. When he removed a key from his jeans and opened the door, a smell of dust and something Becca couldn’t define greeted them. Cord flipped on the light, and for a moment they both stood and stared. The room was decorated in pink and deep blue, and the floral bedspread on the king-size bed was tumbled as if someone had recently been sleeping on it. Pictures of Nicki covered one wall, but Becca’s eyes were drawn to the dresser. Three bottles of whiskey were still there—two were empty, but the third had about a fourth of the liquor still left. Becca realized that was the source of the foul smell. The room had a sense of doom about it.

  Cord felt a suffocating sensation and he wanted to run, to forget he’d ever shared this room with Anette. He remembered the many arguments, the temper tantrums and the tears. Bad feelings about his marriage threatened to overtake him. Then he noticed the pictures of Nicki and the panic eased. Anette had given him Nicki, and he could never regret that. There had been good times, but they were so hard to remember, because the pain had darkened even those.

  Aware of his turmoil, Becca slipped an arm around his waist and went into his arms. Without her shoes, she barely came below his chin. “Are you sure you want to do this?” she said into his chest. His heart was beating so fast that she couldn’t even count the rate.

  “Yes,” he muttered, and knew that he did. It was time. Gently releasing her, he pulled the boxes into the room. Without any real organization, he started opening drawers and throwing clothes into the boxes. Becca joined in until they’d emptied the dresser and armoire. Cord scowled at the whiskey bottles, then slammed them to the floor.

  “Damn her, damn her,” he cried in a strangled voice.

  “How could she do this to Nicki?” All the emotion he’d been trying to hold back suddenly burst forth.

  Becca immediately hurried over to him and held him tight. “I don’t think she knew what she was doing,” she told him.

  He clasped her just as tightly for a second, then let her go. “Sorry. I just lost it when I saw the bottles.” His hand trembled as it touched the dresser. “I don’t know where they came from. We didn’t keep liquor in our room, and the whiskey’s not a brand Blanche stocks downstairs, so Anette must have bought them herself.”

  Becca knelt and picked up the bottles, which hadn’t broken. As she did, she noticed something against the dresser. Several pills were lying on the carpet, almost hidden in the deep pile. “Look,” she said, picking one up. “There’re pills on the floor and they’re an antidepressant. I recognize the tablet.”

  Cord glanced at the pill and drew a deep breath. “She must’ve been taking as many pills as she could and following them with liquor. All this time, I was hoping it was an accident, but it must have been intentional.”

  “I suppose,” Becca murmured in a weak voice.

  “What? You don’t think so?”

  “I just keep remembering the books she bought for Nicki and the inscriptions. It’s hard for me to imagine a woman with that much love abandoning her child, but depression alters personality.”

  Cord sucked air into his lungs and released it. “I’m glad I did this. I know she committed suicide for some reason of her own. A reason I wouldn’t understand. But now I have to accept it, even though I’ll always wonder if I could have changed things.”

  “Probably not,” she said. “So you have to stop blaming yourself.”

  “Yeah, I’ve carried that burden around for too long.”

  “I agree,” she said. She lifted the jewelry box on the dresser. “I’m sure you want to save this for Nicki.”

  “Yes, I put Anette’s wedding and engagement rings in there after the funeral. I definitely want Nicki to have those.”

  Their wedding picture stood on a corner of the dresser. Cord picked it up and placed it in a box.

  “Cord,” she admonished. “I’m sure Nicki will want that, too.” She knelt by the box and retrieved it, then studied the two people in the photo—a much younger Cord in a suit and tie, but still just as handsome and stirring to her senses. Anette was blond and very pretty. Nicki looked a lot like her.

  Becca touched the photo. “So you like blondes?”

  There was a note of uncertainty in her voice, and Cord wanted to reassure her. He knelt behind her, pulled her hair away from her face and gently kissed her neck. “Not anymore,” he whispered.

  She leaned back against him, and he slipped his arms around her. “Oh, that was the right thing to say,” she teased.

  “It’s the truth.” He kissed the side of her face as she rested her head against him.

  “Still, I think you need to keep the photo for Nicki.”

  “Okay,” he said. “But I believe her memories of her mother are fading. These days all she thinks about is Becca, Becca, Becca. You’ve overshadowed all the pain in her life.” His arms tightened around her. “Just like you’ve overshadowed all the pain in mine.”

  “Oh, Cord.” She turned in the circle of his arms and met his lips with a need that was unequaled by anythi
ng she’d ever felt. When that need was about to consume them, Cord drew away and scooped her into his arms. “Let’s continue this somewhere more comfortable.”

  “But we haven’t finished the room.”

  “We’ll finish it in the morning,” he told her. “Right now, all I want to do is love you.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  HE CARRIED HER TO HER ROOM and placed her on the bed. His lips found hers while his hand slid beneath the T-shirt to her breasts. Pinpoints of pleasure shot through her as his thumb gently massaged, then his lips followed. The feather-light stroking of his mustache against her skin sent her senses spiraling out of control. She never dreamed it could be like this—she couldn’t think, she could only feel.

  “Oh, Becca,” he whispered. His lips trailed down her abdomen. “I want to take it slow and make this perfect for you, but it’s been so long for me, I don’t know if I can. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you.”

  She had to tell him the truth. She forced herself back to reality, which wasn’t easy with her body pulsing at a new rhythm.

  She swallowed. “I want you just as much. But…”

  His tongue stopped its exploration of her navel and he raised his head. His hair was disheveled from her hands and his eyes were glazed with passion. “But?”

  “This will be my first…” She couldn’t finish. Admitting such a thing at her age was embarrassing, somehow.

  “Are you saying…”

  She nodded.

  He immediately tried to pull away, but she held on to him. “Oh, no, Cordell Prescott. You’re not doing that to me. This is my choice, my decision. My mother always told me I’d know when the time was right. The time is now and the man is you. Do you know why?”

  He shook his head, mesmerized by the fire in her eyes.

  “Because I love you.”

  He closed his eyes and sagged against her. “Oh, Becca.”

  “It’s true,” she told him. “My heart flutters when you walk into a room. My knees get weak when you smile at me. I hurt when you hurt, and I can’t stand the thought of being apart from you. There’s a special connection between us. I don’t know how it happened, it just did. Yes, you’re older than me and more experienced, but you are my soul mate.”

  Cord felt his heart beating in unison with hers. They were one. He’d felt it for a very long time. But could he take from her what she was so willing to give?

  He drew back and stared into her darkened eyes. “I’ve made so many promises about you. I promised myself I wouldn’t get involved with Colton’s girlfriend or someone so young, and most definitely I wouldn’t fall for another city woman. But I broke all those promises.”

  She kissed the corner of his mustache, his cheek, and then her tongue tantalized his ear with gentle strokes.

  “Becca.” His head tilted toward her as the emotions she engendered in him overshadowed his doubts. He took a deep breath. “I have a feeling I’m going to break another one.”

  She smiled and rained kisses along his neck to his jaw. Her lips met his in a long, heated kiss and her hands quickly unbuttoned his shirt, her fingers reveling in the taut muscles before she unfastened his belt.

  “Wait.” He breathed raggedly. “I have to take off my boots.”

  “No problem.” She laughed as she slid to the floor, grabbed a boot and began to pull.

  “A cowboy’s dream,” he remarked. “A woman to remove his boots.”

  “I thought a cowboy’s dream was to have a woman warm his bed.”

  “Ah, they’re one and the same thing.” Cord grinned.

  “First she removes his boots, then she warms his bed…among other things.”

  The task completed, Becca stood and removed her T-shirt. “I can do other things.” She met his grin, which slowly turned to an expression of awe.

  “My God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered. He reached for her, pulling her between his legs. His lips found her sensitive breasts and then he quickly removed her panties, and his lips and hands tantalized her body until her knees buckled and they fell back onto the bed.

  She helped him out of his jeans, and his body was hard, firm and aroused. Her hands touched and explored and excited feelings she’d never experienced before. “Becca, are you sure? I don’t think I can—”

  Her finger covered his lips. “I don’t want you to stop. I want you to love me.”

  He cradled her face in his hands and gazed into her eyes. “Do you know how much I love you?”

  She smiled the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen. “No, but you can show me.”

  “Becca, Becca.” His tone was ragged as he rolled her onto her back.

  He was gentle and tender, just as she’d known he would be. The first thrust of pressure tightened her muscles, then Cord kissed her deeply and her body melted into a shimmering receptacle. The next thrusts she accepted with unbound pleasure that echoed through every nerve ending and intensified until she cried his name with an urgency that carried her to a realm she’d only dreamed about. Cord moaned his release a moment later, but they held on to each other, still needing that closeness.

  “Are you all right?” he said, his breath warm against her neck.

  “Oh-h, yes. Cowboys definitely do it better.”

  He grinned at her. “How do you know? You have nothing to compare it with.”

  “Oh, I just know.” She smoothed his hair back. “That’s why I waited so long. I’ve been waiting for you.”

  “Becca…”

  “Don’t ruin this moment with regrets,” she warned.

  He kissed her softly. “I won’t. I’ve just never met anyone like you before.”

  “Good.” She sighed. “Now I just want to go to sleep in your arms and feel your breath on my skin.”

  He moved to the left side of the bed and pulled her in to him. “That can be arranged.”

  She snuggled against him. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  “I’m the one who should be saying that.” He kissed her neck. “Go to sleep, my Becca. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

  She fell asleep with that thought in her head. He will be here.

  Cord got up and turned off the lights. When she murmured softly, he gathered her back in his arms. Tomorrow he’d probably have those regrets and curse himself for taking something so precious from her, but tonight he would cherish this moment and this woman.

  BECCA WOKE UP to a lethargic achy feeling and it was a wonderful sensation. She stretched languorously and reached for Cord. He wasn’t there. Oh, no. He’d said he’d be here. He couldn’t have—then she spotted him in the bathroom shaving, and her heart rebounded.

  For a few minutes she just watched him. Shaving cream was slathered across his chin and he was methodically shaving away a night’s growth. All he had on was his underwear. Light brown hair covered his lean body in all the masculine places—places she’d explored last night. A warm ache dissolved in her lower abdomen as she remembered his gentleness. Their lovemaking was everything she’d ever thought it would be, and she was so glad she’d waited for Cord. Sex with love was exactly as Emily had told her—more than a physical act, it was a coming together of two hearts, bodies and souls.

  Her hands ached to touch him. She slipped out of bed and walked naked into the bathroom. She curled her arms around his waist from behind, drew in his tangy masculine scent and kissed his back. “Good morning.”

  Cord’s whole body jerked alive at her soft touch. He wiped shaving cream from his face with a towel and turned to her. His breath caught in his throat at her sheer loveliness. Her hair was mussed, her eyes bright, and she was beautiful to her soul. He didn’t know how he’d got so lucky, but he wasn’t going to question his feelings anymore. They were too damn good.

  “Good morning,” he murmured as he kissed the fading bruise on her face. Then his hands caressed her smooth shoulders and worked their way down her arms to her waist and pulled her nude body against him. He leaned against the cabinet, holding her close, m
arveling at all the emotions that tripped through his body—emotions that had been dormant for too long.

  His eyes slid to her breasts. “When I saw you in tight jeans, I thought that was as good as it got. Then I saw you in that big T-shirt with those gorgeous legs and I knew it couldn’t get any better than that. But this—” he kissed each breast lingeringly “—is my favorite. You without a stitch on is pure heaven.”

  Her body shivered with delight as she stood on tiptoes and linked her hands behind his head. “I kind of like you that way, too.”

  “Do you?” He grinned mischievously.

  “Mmm.” His lips smothered the sound against her mouth in an open, revealing kiss that she welcomed. “I like that, too.” She giggled as she felt his hardness against her.

  He groaned and the kiss deepened. Her fingers tangled in his hair and his hands were equally at work on her body. Slowly he turned, and they moved toward the bed, still in each other’s arms. They tripped over his boots and fell backward onto the bed laughing. But the laughter died as more urgent demands took over. Cord kissed, touched and caressed until everything spun away but the love that bound them together.

  Later—how much later she wasn’t sure—she lay in the crook of his arm, savoring this special time with the man she adored. Nothing would ever equal the experience of finding love and having it returned. She suddenly knew what her restlessness was all about—Becca the woman had been struggling to emerge…and now she had.

  “I don’t want to, but I’ve got to go,” he said with a tremor in his voice. “I’d have a hard time explaining to Nicki what I’m doing in your bed.”

  She turned her head and kissed him. They hadn’t talked about the future, but they would. In the meantime, their love would grow until it encompassed everyone around them. Last night had been a big step, and each step now would guide them toward the future.