A Love So Dangerous (To the Bone #1)

by Lili Valente

  Anxiety dumps into my bloodstream, fear that I’m getting ready to do something I’ll regret, something I will never be able to take back, no matter how much I want to, making me freeze at the top of the stairs. I’m parting my lips to tell Gabe I’ve changed my mind when he turns, cupping my face in his hands.

  “Don’t be scared,” he says, as if he can read my mind. “You can trust me.” He holds my gaze as he draws me across the room. “I swear you can.”

  I catch glimpses of a small desk, a larger one, and some sort of sitting area in the far corner, but it’s hard to focus on anything but Gabe—Gabe’s lips, his breath mingling with mine, his fingertips digging lightly into my neck as we kiss.

  He spins me in a half circle and the backs of my legs hit the couch, my knees almost buckling before I steady myself. “Gabe, wait I—”

  “You don’t have to touch me. We don’t have to fuck,” he says, hands sliding down to squeeze my hips through my dress. “This won’t go any further than you want it to. I just want to taste you, Caitlin. I’ve been dreaming about it since that night in your friend’s car.”

  Before I can tell him I’ve been dreaming about it too, his mouth covers mine and his tongue slips between my lips and we’re kissing the way Gabe and I kiss. Like it’s the last, best thing we’ll ever do. Like our lives depend on getting closer, kissing deeper; like there is nothing that matters but this moment and the pleasure we can steal from it.

  Pretty soon I forget my nerves, forget the reasons this is a bad idea, forget everything but the way he makes me feel shot through with lightning. I shove his suit coat off, digging my fingers into his shoulders as I lean back, pulling him down onto the couch. We fall onto the cool leather, Gabe on top, his hands smoothing up my bare legs as we continue to kiss like it’s the only thing that matters.

  He urges my thighs around his waist and his hard on presses between my spread legs, making me cry out because it feels so good. So good, so right, so thrilling to know I’ve made him this way. I’ve cracked his cool exterior, made him crazy with wanting me, made his breath catch, and a wild, feral sound rumble low in his throat as I lift my hips, grinding my heat against him through our clothes.

  He cusses against my lips and a moment later my dress is off, and my bra, too. They are simply on my body one second and gone the next, without me remembering shifting to help Gabe dispose of them.

  “You’re beautiful.” He sits back on his heels, eyes flicking up and down my body, a pained expression on his face. “You really are.”

  “You’re not bad yourself,” I say, reaching for his tie and working the knot free.

  “No,” he says, capturing my hands in his larger one. “If I take anything else off, I won’t stop until it’s all off. And that’s not what tonight is about.”

  “What is tonight about?” I ask, a shockwave of desire rocketing through me at the thought of Gabe and I naked together, though I know I’m not ready, not really, no matter what the lustful voices in my head are trying to tell me.

  “It’s about convincing you I’m the best way to spend your summer.” His palms mold to my ribs as he kisses down my neck to the hollow of my throat, soft, hot kisses that make me gasp for breath and my nipples pucker in the cool, conditioned air.

  He keeps trailing kisses down the center of my chest while his hands come to cup my breasts, holding one gently in each hand, carefully avoiding the places where I’m dying for him to kiss me, touch me. He continues to kiss me everywhere but there, his soft lips feathering back and forth across my ribs until my nipples are pulled so tight the sensation is almost painful.

  Only then—when I’m squirming and moaning and there can be no doubt in his mind how much I crave his attention—does he take me in his mouth.

  I cry out, driving my fingers into his hair and fisting tight, urging him closer as he licks and sucks and bites. Bites.

  But even the biting is perfect, a flash of pain that adds to my pleasure until my breath comes fast and the world goes soft and red at the edges and there is nothing but his mouth and his tongue and the way I ache for him, burn for him, need him to spread me wide and do whatever he wants to do to me as long as he takes the ache away.

  “Please, Gabe,” I breathe, clawing at his shoulders. “Please.”

  “Please what?” he says, flicking his tongue across my nipple, making me flinch and cry out again. “You know what I like, Caitlin. You know I like you to beg for it.”

  “Please fuck me with your mouth,” I say, the words spilling out without hesitation or anger. I’m too far gone to care what he wants me to do, so long as he gives me what I need. “Please make me come, Gabe, please. Please!”

  “Lift your hips,” he says, his voice tight as his fingers fist in the sides of my panties.

  I obey and Gabe makes my underwear vanish and then he is between my legs, spreading my thighs with his warm hands, mumbling something I can’t make out, but that sounds pained and reverent and sweet all at the same time.

  As sweet as the first kiss he places to the center of me, one sweet, warm, tender kiss that threatens to unravel me completely. And then the kiss becomes a swirl of his tongue and sparks shoot from my core, sizzling across my skin, and my head feels like it’s going to float right off my body and there is no more “me” to unravel, only a quivering mass of heat and need that arches closer to Gabe’s mouth, shamelessly begging for what I crave.

  I bite my lip and squeeze my eyes shut, not knowing what to do with all the things he’s making me feel, all the sensation and emotion and the fear that I’m spiraling so far out of control I may never be the same again.

  I only know that this is beautiful and wicked and perfect and I’m higher than I’ve ever been before. Higher than when Isaac and I sneak Irish whiskey into the midnight movie in his flask. Higher than the times I used to smoke up with Aoife, back when I was thirteen and she was seventeen and I wanted so badly to be grown up, to be old enough to start my own big adventure, the way she had started hers.

  But my big adventure never came.

  Instead I got big responsibility and bigger bills and the weight of an entire family on my shoulders when I was still too young to vote. Instead, I got to lock up all my longing for new things and fresh experiences and stick to choices that were safe for my family.

  Now, that’s all falling apart, my resolve crumbling to pieces in this man’s hands. Now, there is Gabe and his kiss and his smile and the way he looks at me like I’m the most beautiful, fascinating thing he’s ever seen. Gabe, who dreams about giving me pleasure, and is more than delivering on his promise to make me see stars.

  By the time he cups my bottom in his hands and pulls me even closer, burying his face between my legs with a moan, I’m so close to the edge that the slight vibration is enough to send me over. I come with a ragged cry, back arching as I reach down to fist my hands in his hair, holding him close as my orgasm rips through me in long, rending waves, tightening my belly until it almost hurts, but doesn’t because this is exactly what I needed.

  I float back to earth so blissed out I hardly know who I am. I can’t remember the last time I felt so stress free, so light and happy and flat out thrilled to be alive. And it’s all because of him.

  Him. Gabe, the boy who’s shattered my carefully ordered world, and is cradling me amongst the wreckage.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Caitlin

  Face the sun¸ but turn your back to the storm. –Irish proverb

  “I want to see that smile every day.” Gabe’s voice penetrates the pleasure haze, making my eyes flick open.

  I glance down between my thighs to see Gabe pushed up onto his elbows, watching me with an intensity that’s unnerving, especially considering I’m still spread wide in front of him. I cross my arms self-consciously over my breasts and start to bring my legs together, but he stops me with two fingers on my right thigh.

  “Don’t,” he says softly. “Not yet.”

  I let my thigh fall slowly back open, shock
ed to find a hint of desire whispering through me as I move. I wouldn’t have thought it was possible to get turned on again after coming so hard my bones are still mush, but apparently…

  “I want to make you come every day, at least once a day,” he continues, tracing a lazy pattern on my thigh with his fingertip. “I want to give you the best summer of your life, and by the end of it, I want you to have enough money that you won’t have to work when you go back to school.”

  “Why?” I ask, my voice deeper, huskier. “Why do you want to help me?”

  “Because I like you.” He meets my gaze, a vulnerable look in his eyes that makes me think he’s telling the truth. “I think you’re smart and kind and hard-working and the sort of person who deserves better than the hand you’ve been dealt.” His lips lift on one side in a lopsided smile. “And you’ve got a delicious naughty side, and I like stealing things with you.”

  I take a deep breath, trying to think clearly despite the fact that I’m naked and the feel of Gabe’s fingers teasing across my thigh is making me tingle all over. “What’s in it for you? Aside from the fact that you get off on breaking the law?”

  “I also get off on turning the tables,” he says. “On lifting someone like you up, while tearing the bad guys down.”

  He pauses, gaze shifting back between my legs. “And I get off on you. It’s killing me not to be inside you right now.”

  I try to bring my knees together again, but he stops me with a hand on each thigh, spreading me wider, making my breath catch.

  “No,” he whispers. “Stay. I like it.”

  “You like to torture yourself?”

  “Sometimes.” He sighs, a sad sound. “But next time I want more, even though I know it’s a bad idea.”

  “It is,” I agree. “For me. But I thought one night stands were your thing.”

  “Where did you hear that?” he asks, looking amused.

  I cross my arms farther, covering more of my bare chest. “Sherry did some asking around at the club. Her friend tends bar there. He said you leave with a different girl every time you come in.”

  “Not since the night I left with you,” he says.

  My eyebrows pull together, and I do my best to ignore the way my pulse is picking up, responding to the feel of his thumbs pressing into my thighs. “So what? I’m supposed to believe you’re falling for me, or something?”

  “Maybe” he says in a humorless tone. “Which is stupid because I can’t get involved with anyone right now. And I can’t promise you more than the summer, no matter how much I might want to.”

  “I never asked you to promise me anything,” I say, so flustered I don’t know what else to say.

  A part of me is glad tonight means more to him than just another one night stand—it certainly does to me. I’m not in love by any stretch, but I had fun with Gabe tonight. I enjoyed hanging out with him and could quickly become addicted to his kisses, his touch, to the way he makes me feel beautiful and special and able to relax and let go for the first time in my life. He’s unpredictable, but I feel safe when he touches me.

  Considering he’s the most dangerous thing to enter my life since Aoife ran off, taking her drug dealer connections with her, it makes no sense, but it’s true. I feel safe with Gabe, and even safer knowing all he wants is the summer. I can’t very well turn into my sister or mom if Gabe’s leaving at the end of August.

  We can have three months, a summer to run wild and indulge all the crazy ways he makes me feel, and then Gabe will go back to school, and I’ll go back to being the person I was before…except with money, and options.

  The thought of being able to go to school without juggling two jobs at the same time is a heady one, but there’s still one major problem—

  “You said you could promise that I won’t get caught,” I say. “How will you manage that?”

  “First of all, we’ll be careful,” he says, watching his finger trace swirls on my skin. “We’re both smart, so that shouldn’t be hard. We’ll take our time and plan and practice and look at a potential job from all angles. And then, if something unexpected happens, and luck isn’t on our side, I take full responsibility.”

  “How?” I ask. “Say you were blackmailing me or something?”

  “Blackmail could work, and they’d probably let you off easy if you testified against me.” He leans in pressing a kiss to my thigh that makes me shiver. “Or we act like it’s a hostage situation, which would be best for you. If we can manage it.”

  “Either way, you’re going to jail,” I say, not understanding why that doesn’t seem like a bigger deal to him. “I mean, not even your dad can get you out of trouble if you’re caught red handed and I testify against you.”

  He shrugs. “Maybe, maybe not. It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

  “Why?” I ask again, something still not adding up. “I don’t—”

  “You ask too many questions.” He kisses my thigh, higher this time, close enough to more intimate things that I lose my words. “We’re not going to get caught. You’re worrying about something that’s never going to happen.”

  “You can’t know…” My words trail away as his lips reach their destination and he kisses me again.

  He kisses and licks and teases his tongue in and out of where he’s already made me ache, and pretty soon I forget everything but the way he makes me feel. I forget all my questions, all my fears and worries. By the time I’ve left my body a second time and finally floated back down to earth, I’m too wrung out to ask questions, to do anything but lie heavily on the couch, catching my breath.

  “Be right back, beautiful.” Gabe brushes his knuckles tenderly across my cheek before bounding to his feet.

  He covers me with a brown, fake fur throw draped over the other end of the couch, before crossing the room and disappearing through a door on the other side of the office. I hear water running and let the sound lull me as I snuggle beneath the sinfully soft blanket. I know I should get dressed, but I’m too exhausted and satisfied to move a muscle.

  Well…mostly satisfied.

  Even after two orgasms, I’m shocked to find I still want more. I want Gabe. I want to touch him the way he’s touched me. I want him naked, his stunning body bare to me, his skin hot against mine. I want to make him feel all the amazing things he made me feel. I know I’m not as experienced as he is, but I want to at least try to give him the same peace and pleasure he’s given me.

  When he comes back through the bathroom door a few minutes later, I sit up, holding the blanket around my breasts as I crook on finger in his direction. “Your turn.”

  Gabe smiles and even in the dim office light I can see that increasingly familiar spark of trouble flash in his eyes. “Not tonight. I told you, tonight is about you.”

  “But I feel guilty. I want to make you feel good, and, I mean, isn’t it painful if a guy gets too…you know, and then doesn’t…” I wave a hand vaguely in the air. “You know?”

  Gabe chuckles. “I just ate your pussy for half an hour and you’re embarrassed to ask if my balls are going to ache if I don’t come?”

  My cheeks heat as I roll my eyes. “I’m not embarrassed, I’m just…”

  “Embarrassed,” he finishes, amusement in his voice. “Don’t be. And don’t feel guilty. I took care of myself in the bathroom. Wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep from taking things further if I didn’t. I think I’m in love with your pussy. It’s fucking beautiful and delicious. My favorite ever.”

  “Oh,” I say, not sure how to respond. “Well…thank you.”

  Gabe laughs, a real, hearty laugh that echoes through the relatively small office.

  “Whatever!” I reach for my bra. “I didn’t know what to say. I’m not used to situations like this. I told you, I don’t date.”

  “Good.” He crosses to the larger desk a few feet from the couch and starts up the computer. “Let’s keep it that way. This summer, it’s you and me, no other distractions.”

  I narrow my ey
es, watching his face in the blue light of the computer screen as I slip into my bra beneath the blanket and reach for my dress. “Does that go for you, too?”

  He grins, but keeps his eyes on the screen. “Yes, Caitlin. Me, too. I want you to be my girl for the summer. Can we go steady?”

  I pull my dress over my head with laugh. “Only if you give me your class ring.”

  “I’ll get it when I go home later tonight, and give it to you first thing tomorrow,” he says, motioning me over with a hand. “Now, come look at this. I did some digging around after our last job and found this guy. I think you’re going to be excited about giving him what’s coming to him.”

  “Why’s that,” I ask, stepping into my panties and pulling them up before padding barefoot around the desk to stand beside Gabe.

  “Read the file.” He puts his arm around my waist, drawing my back to his front with an ease that feels right.

  I melt into him, bringing my hand to his arm and tracing my fingers back and forth as I glance down at the screen. I’ve never had this kind of easy intimacy with a boy before—and Gabe is the last person I would have expected to make cuddling feel natural—but it feels right to be like this with him.

  Even when I begin to read, and shock becomes rage and disgust, I don’t want to pull away from Gabe. I want to get closer, to put our heads together and whisper until we’ve come up with a plan to make the son of bitch who’s been making my brother’s life a living hell for the past year pay.

  “I’m in,” I say, even before I’ve scrolled down to the second page.

  “I had a feeling you would be.” Gabe kisses my neck, humming happily against my skin. “I’ll bring dinner to your place tomorrow night and we can talk logistics after the kids are asleep. Burgers and fries acceptable?”