Fatal Decision

by John Greenwood

  "I remember too. We missed you buddy. We're so glad you're back." Michelle seems satisfied with my answer. She is looking back at Tommy.

  "Why did I have to go there? I can’t remember? Why can’t I remember anything?"

  "It was just somewhere you had to go for a while, so you could use all those toys that were in your room. The stuff he gave you apparently erases parts of your memory so you may not be able to remember everything."

  "Your Dad's right." Michelle and I quickly turn our heads behind us as the doctor speaks. He's a different one than before. He's wearing a long white doctor's jacket and is carrying an electronic tablet in his hand. He is probably mid-fifties with gray stylish hair. "I'm Dr. Brandon from Neurology." We shake hands. "The drug you were given can remove certain parts of your memory. There's no guarantee that you will ever recover it, but we may not know for several months until we see the effects." He walks between Michelle and me and holds up his hand to give Tommy a high-five. Tommy slowly raises his right hand and softly taps the doctor's. "How would you feel like going home soon?" I watch Tommy's mouth form a slight smile. "I think we should be able to check you out of this hotel tomorrow." He looks at both of us. "I've got to warn you you're probably going to get a big welcome when you get home though." Tommy gives me a confused look. The doctor runs a few tests on Tommy and then types into his tablet and promises to return in a few hours. Tommy's eyes start to get heavy and Michelle and I watch him fall back to sleep, we return to our seats. Before we even sit down, Michelle leans over to me.

  "What was he talking about with you at McDonalds? Is there something you’re not telling me here?" I don’t answer right away. I watch the machine monitoring Tommy's pulse rate fluctuates between 70 and 72.

  "There's nothing else. You heard what the doctor said he won’t remember certain things?"

  She leans in closer. "He was very clear on remembering you Sheldon. What aren’t you telling me?" I see tears forming in her eyes. I jump up and look out the window again. I see nothing but a sea of emergency vehicles and media vans swarming the parking lot. I slowly walk back over to Michelle and sit down next to her. Her eyes still haven’t left me. "What is it Sheldon? You need to tell me. Who is Mr. Ken too?" I look down at my feet. I can see specks of red blood splattered on the sides that I didn't notice before. I quickly begin to rub my feet together. "Talk to me Sheldon." I slowly turn my head towards Michelle. Her eyes are wide open waiting to hear my words that could change our lives forever.

  "It's complicated Michelle." I keep rubbing my shoes together.

  "Sheldon, you need to tell me what's going on right now." She pulls me closer by grabbing my arm. "Where did you get these clothes?" I don’t answer. I continue to look down at my shoes. Most of the blood looks like it is gone now.

  "I can’t. Trust me Michelle."

  "No it's not Sheldon. Tommy is my son too and if you're keeping stuff from me, you need to let me know right now." I can’t talk anymore. My mind is going back to Sorenson, his lifeless eyes and little girl running through the yard. My heart feels like it's breaking apart. What have I done? I feel my body trembling all over. My shoes are now covered with blood it’s seeping all over me. Sorenson is lying in front of me on the floor covered in blood. I think I hear Michelle calling my name, but everything is blurry and spinning out of control. I think I'm on the floor, but I’m not sure. Everywhere I look, everything is covered in blood. I feel like I'm going to explode. I think I'm rolling around, but I'm not sure anymore. The whole hospital is shaking violently, the floor is rumbling, the ceiling looks as though it is going to come down on top of me. I close my eyes as tightly as I possibly can and then there's nothing but darkness and silence.

  Chapter 22

  "Sheldon…Sheldon." I open my eyes and I see my mom standing over me. I have no idea where I am. "How are you?"

  "Where am I? What happened?" I try and sit up but my body isn’t cooperating. "How's Tommy?"

  "Tommy's fine." I watch her look behind me. My mom is one of those women that never age. She looks the same now that she looked when she was thirty. Her hair is the same medium length sandy brown style she has always had and I don’t think she has gained a pound. "You're in the hospital Sheldon." I slowly pan my eyes around the room and recognize many of the same things I saw in Tommy's room earlier.

  "I want to go see Tommy." I feel her place her hand softly on my chest.

  "Tommy's home Sheldon."

  "What do you mean? They said he couldn’t go home until tomorrow." I watch my mom's face tighten up.

  "Tommy went home two days ago."

  "What are you talking about? How long have I been here?" My mom looks towards the window. The curtains are closed just like they were in Tommy's room.

  "This is your third day here." She places her hand on my head and slowly rubs back and forth. "You were exhausted. The doctor said you have been under so much stress that your body just gave in. You needed the rest."

  "I can’t believe it's been two days. I want to check on Tommy."

  "Tommy's fine. Dad, Michelle and her parents are home with him. He's doing much better."

  "I want to go home." I try and get up again, but my body isn't moving.

  "Just take it easy." She places her hand on my chest again. "The doctor said it's important for you to get as much rest as you can. We have been taking turns staying with you. Michelle is so worried." I slowly turn my head around and see an IV and many other scary machines. I feel my eyes getting heavy. I'm trying to stay awake, but I'm quickly losing the battle. I see a woman walk behind my mom. I think she's a nurse because she's checking the monitors and talking to my mom, but I can’t hear anything she is saying. A minute later, everything is blissfully silent.

  I have no idea how long ago it was when I saw my mom, but now when I open my eyes again the room is very bright and welcoming. I'm guessing the sun is pouring in behind the curtains. It must be morning. I wish I had a clock. I look all around the room. I find I'm actually able to move my body and sit myself up. I don’t see my mom, so I figure she must have gone back home. I smile thinking of Tommy back home at our house with his stuff and his friends. I try and imagine what he's doing now. I wish I could somehow get out of here. I feel much better than the first time I woke up. My mind doesn't feel cloudy at all. I can clearly remember everything that happened. I just can’t believe I have been here for so long. I slowly raise each arm and stretch them out fully. The one with IV pulls a little from all the tape, but otherwise it feels good. I'm able to move each leg up and down a few times as well. I notice a little red button wrapped around the side of my bed that says "call" on it, so I immediately push the button. A minute later, a woman dressed in a pink uniform enters my room followed by Michelle. I smile seeing Michelle. She runs over to me and we give each other a long embrace. I feel the nurse checking the IV and adjusting things around me. I'm so happy to see Michelle. I squeeze her hand tightly.

  "Hi Sheldon, good morning."

  "Good morning." I respond back. My voice feels raspy, so I try and clear my throat. "Is there a clock in here?" I hear both Michelle and the nurse quietly laugh.

  "I told you that would be the first thing he would ask for."

  The nurse smiles at us. "I'll get one in here for you real soon. Now take it easy Mr. Smith, doctor's orders." I nod my head and watch her exit the room.

  "You look much better Sheldon. You really had me worried. All of us."

  "How's Tommy?" I adjust my shoulders on the back of the bed.

  "He's good. Our parents are taking him to Kings Dominion today. You know how much he loves amusement parks." I smile thinking of Tommy and how much he loves roller coasters.

  "Kid has no fear." Michelle nods. "I can’t believe I have been here so long."

  "We've been through a lot Sheldon." I grab her other hand.

  "How are you doing?"

  "Much better now. It's been so helpful having our families here. I've been able to get some rest. I am actually starting
to feel back to normal. Now if we can just get you back home."

  "When can I get out of here?" I rub the tape on my arm above the IV.

  "Doctor said it may take another day or two. They loaded you up with some pretty heavy drugs." She taps the IV bag slowly dripping into my arm.

  "What happened to me?"

  "You don’t remember? You just collapsed right in Tommy's room. I pushed the panic button and they whisked you off to another part of the hospital. I was running between the two of you all night." She looks at the window. "But you’re going to be fine. The doctor assured me."

  "I'm sorry Michelle." She looks into my eyes. I can see the confusion in her face.

  "It's okay. When you feel better you can tell me everything, but right now you just need to rest. You heard the nurse. You want something to drink or eat?" I nod my head. I can’t stop looking at her. I feel so bad for not telling her anything about Tommy, but I couldn’t take the chance of something happening to him. I hope she understands.

  "Have you heard anything from Stanton?"

  "He's come by several times to check on you. He also talked to Tommy yesterday, but he couldn’t remember anything more than what he told us. I think that drug they gave him erased most of it from his memory. The doctor said one day it may come back, so we have to keep an eye on him." She picks up a small folded paper. "So what would you like? Grilled cheese? Soup?"

  "I'll take a grilled cheese. That sounds good." I watch her dial a number and place the order into the phone. "How's the media been?"

  "It was tough the first day or two but they have backed off. I had to explain to Tommy that he was kidnapped. He had no idea. He keeps talking about some test he had to complete for you and Mr. Ken. I don’t know what that's all about, but it probably has something to do with his memory loss." I try and sit up some more. Michelle adjusts the bed for me. "Noreen from the news 7 wants us to go on again with her and thank everyone for searching for Tommy and letting them know he's okay. I said I would wait until you’re fully recovered." I watch as she begins to laugh. "Speaking of the news, you should have seen Tommy this morning. I had him wear your dark sunglasses and a hat pulled way over his eyes. You know how much I hate that look, but I don’t want anyone recognizing him at the amusement park." I smile picturing Michelle dressing him up. A few minutes later the food arrives. I eat the grilled cheese like I haven’t eaten in years. I even finish a ginger ale. A little while later, the doctor comes in and talks to Michelle. I feel my eyelids beginning to crash again, so the next thing I know I'm off into sleep land leaving Michelle to speak with the doctor. Next time I open my eyes, it's dark in the room so I go back to sleep. I continue doing this until I see the sunlight creeping through the curtain. I slowly sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed. There's no one in my room, so I just sit and enjoy the quiet until I hear the nurse open the door some time later. I can tell she's startled to see me up. She's the same one that was here with Michelle earlier.

  "Hello Mr. Smith. You look like you're ready to go."

  "I feel much better." I lift up both of my legs.

  "It's going to be a nice today. How would you like to take a walk outside in the courtyard?" I nod my head. I watch as she goes about her normal duties of checking my vitals and monitors. After a few more minutes, she finishes up and Michelle comes in.

  "Wow! Anne just told me you were wide awake when she came in."

  "I'm ready to get out of here Michelle." She sits down on the edge of the bed.

  "She said maybe this afternoon if everything still looks good. She's going to let the doctor know. She did say you could go outside. How about after breakfast we take a little ride?"

  "What do you mean a ride?" I look up at her and she smiles.

  "On a wheelchair." I nod my head but she ignores me. "Tommy says hi. He wanted to come with me but I think it's best to keep him away from all this. He's been through enough already. The news vans have started to leave, so maybe they are moving on to another story." A little while later, after I finish eating some scrambled eggs and toast Michelle and the nurse get me loaded in the wheel chair and Michelle takes me outside. I can’t believe how refreshing the air feels on my face as we wheel into the small cement courtyard. We're the only ones out here. Michelle pushes me in the center near a small bench that she sits on. We just remain that way for a while. She holds my hand in hers. "Are you up to talking Sheldon?" I look at her and then back around the courtyard. There's a small basketball hoop setup on the far side. It's been lowered from the ten foot regulation height but it looks like something I might have to try later.

  "I guess so." I turn my head slowly back towards her and look into her eyes. They look so trusting and warm. I just hope she can forgive me. I start out telling her about the first phone call at the field and then the whole bank story. I pause on the part about the teller getting killed and she squeezes my hand a little tighter. Next I tell her about the break in at Sorenson's office and all the messages and videos from Harris. I keep repeating that I couldn’t tell her out of fear that Tommy might be killed. I'm not sure if she understands, but she is still listening and holding my hand tightly. I get to the last part about the request to kill Sorenson for Tommy. I stop when I get to the point of going to his house the first time. I can see tears in her eyes, but she wants me to continue, so I tell her I couldn't go through with it. I think she looks a little relieved. I move into the part about identifying the second boy's body and Lawrence being killed. Finally, I talk about going to Sorenson's house the second time. She is crying uncontrollably now.

  "Did you do it Sheldon?" She wipes her eyes with the back of her sleeve. "Is that why Stanton said he found your prints all over the house?"

  "When did he say that?"

  "I think it was the day after we brought Tommy home. You didn’t shoot him did you?" I look down. I can’t look in her eyes. She quickly rises from the bench and walks over near the basketball hoop. I'm not sure what to do. I feel like screaming as loudly as I can to make everything go away, but I actually find myself feeling better instead. It feels so good to finally tell someone, especially Michelle. A few minutes later, she comes back to me and sits on the bench. "I love you Sheldon. You know that." She kisses me hard on the lips. I feel tears running down my face, but I'm not sure if there from me or her. "I just wish you had come to me. We could have worked it out."

  "I had no choice Michelle. I couldn’t take the chance." I explain to her about finding all the cameras in the house and how Brian is trying to figure it out. She looks upset. "Please forgive me. I did what I had to do to keep Tommy alive."

  "You killed another man Sheldon."

  "If not, it would have been Tommy. You didn't see those pictures of those other two boys. I couldn’t let that happen to our son." She doesn't say anything for what seems like an eternity.

  Finally she speaks. "What are we going to do now?"

  "I don’t know. My only concern was to get him home and now he's there, so nothing else matters."

  "You could go to jail Sheldon." I look deep into her eyes.

  "I know and I should. Maybe I'll just call Stanton and let him know what happened. The quicker the better, then you and Tommy can move on." She grabs my shoulder so tightly I cringe, so she immediately lets up.

  "No you're not telling Stanton anything. They only have your fingerprints and you can say you just stopped by. You did what any other parent would want to do in that situation. Like you said it was him or Tommy, and you chose your son. No one ever needs to know what happened." She wipes the tears away from her face again. "As far as I’m concerned, you’re a hero. You brought our son back. I love you so much." She throws her arms around me and kisses me several more times until a young mother pushes her young son's stroller into the courtyard. We remain for probably another hour or so. Neither of us says anything. We're lost in our own thoughts but tied together forever with our secret bond.

  Chapter 23

  I finally got released and Michelle bou
ght me home. I was warmly greeted by everyone and I gave Tommy an extra-long hug and rubbed Buster's back as much as I could. He hasn’t left my side since I have returned. My dad had taken over the duties of walking Buster every day, so he joins me on the walks. We still can’t take Tommy outside yet in case a reporter suddenly shows up. It looks like they have all left, but there are a lot of strange vehicles passing by the house at all hours of the night so Michelle and I aren't ready to let him go. A few of his friends have come by and hung out doing normal teenage things, so everything is starting to get back to normal. Our parents are heading back home after Lawrence's service which is scheduled for tomorrow morning. It is going to be tough emotionally, but it is something we need to do for him. I still can’t believe he's gone. I feel guilty because if I had acted sooner, he might still be alive, but Michelle keeps telling me I need to move on from what I did. I'm still struggling. I usually only sleep a few hours a night, because every dream I have is about Sorenson's final moments. I can’t stop seeing his eyes staring at me as his life drains out of him. Sometimes I wake up and at first I think the whole thing was just a bad dream , but then reality hits me and I go through all the pain again. I don’t do too much of anything yet except hang around the house. Michelle tells everyone I'm still recovering, but I'm really just not ready to face the world after what happened and what I did. I have been able to spend a lot of time with Tommy. Usually we just watch a movie together or play video games, but I can’t explain the magic I feel just being in his presence. He hasn’t remembered anything else and has seemed to move past the whole thing. Michelle did a great job explaining to him that he was kidnapped and how lucky and happy we are to have him back. It's been nice having our parents around as well, giving us time getting back to our lives. I'm going to even try to go back to work next week. Michelle thinks that will help me get over things and move on with my life. She doesn’t even seem fazed anymore about me killing Sorenson. Ever since our talk at the hospital, she has bent over backwards to help me. She has been wonderful. Still no word from Brian though. Jim has left a few messages but I haven’t returned his calls yet, one step at a time. I decided to take Buster for another walk today. It's his fourth one today and it's only early afternoon. My Dad was busy doing a crossword, so I told him I would go myself. We just turned the corner on our street and are heading towards the house. I watch as Buster takes off up the street and into our driveway. It's like he's lived here all his life. I wonder if he still thinks about his previous owner. As soon as I see our driveway, I see Stanton's car and him leaning against it. Now what? I wonder. Buster runs over to him and Stanton leans down and scratches his neck.