Nodding his head at the compliment Nick felt a surge of immense satisfaction shoot through his body. She babbled on for a bit while he basked in the warmth of her undivided attention. Before long the dinner conversation became more serious as Nick encouraged Shannon to say whatever was on her mind.
“Your business is quite diverse. Actually, I have no idea what your companies’ do.” she shrugged. “I check out the bestseller list every morning and not the business pages so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I know nothing about global Barrett and what all that means.”
“The company my grandfather built was huge, diverse and involved in a lot of dry, uninteresting stuff that would boggle most minds. I jettisoned the interests which,” and he paused, for a long time before finishing “didn’t fit my view of things”
Shannon noticed how his jaw tensed at the mere mention of this grandfather who loomed large on the distaste meter. The man must have been a nasty piece of work. She’d never known Nick to exhibit anything other than perfect manners and an even disposition. The way his eyes dimmed whenever Randolph Barrett was part of the conversation let her know just how much the old man had impacted the life of his family.
Feeling brave Shannon asked Nick point blank why he hadn’t used his family name when they’d met. This one detail had haunted her thoughts; maybe she was expecting some sort of cloak and dagger answer or a wild tale about avoiding his birthright. Instead she was mildly surprised to learn that Temple had simply been his mother’s maiden name.
“There’s nothing nefarious about why I didn’t use the Barrett name, Shannon. Hell, outside of the board room or away from the negotiating table the name holds no particular cachet. It’s not like being a Rockefeller or even a Kennedy … now that’s instant name recognition. It wasn’t like that all.” he admitted.
“From the time I was a little kid, like the first summer I went to camp even, I went by my middle name. Dad insisted. Years later I would understand that this was one of the ways my father kept our little family far-a-a-r away from my grandfather’s watchful eye.”
Shannon didn’t say a word; she just sat there and listened. The house seemed uncommonly still as the evening fell upon them, so very quiet. It was just the two of them with no background noise. There wasn’t a TV left on somewhere in the house or music playing. The ambiance was quiet and reflective; just like their moods.
“Mum was and is a southern girl at heart. My dad fell fast and hard when they met. Randolph of course didn’t think a genteel southern family operating a hundred year old general store in the same county where they’d lived since the 1800’s were blue blood enough for the new moneyed Barrett’s. To their credit, my parents didn’t give a damn about Randolph and his narrow view of life. When I came along a year and a half after they married, they gave me mom’s maiden name, Temple, probably just to piss the old man off!”
Shannon smiled just a little at that. His parents sounded like people she would like and she was momentarily staggered by how awful the loss of the father he so obviously adored had affected Nick.
“I always went by my middle name whenever I stepped outside the rigid confines of New York City and the Barrett influence. It never occurred to me to ever say ‘And oh, by the way my last name isn’t Temple’. Honestly Shannon, even when I was at Oxford I didn’t use Barrett. Yeah my diploma carries the name but it was never intended to be a subterfuge of any kind.”
Very solemnly he added, “I’m not that big a prick.”
Shannon considered what he’d said while she sipped a hearty California Cabernet which perfectly complimented their dinner fare. It seemed safer just then to turn her gaze away and concentrate on the crystal goblet in her hand.
He was basically telling her that he hadn’t been pretending to be someone he wasn’t. With a heaving sigh Shannon realized this was yet another piece of their painful past narrative which would need to be re-written. She was uncomfortable with some of her behavior toward him in light of what she’d been learning.
From there the conversation became lively and engaging as Nick suddenly launched into a fascinating explanation of all the changes he’d brought to the company; especially in the area of new technology and green energy. He talked enthusiastically about carbon neutral footprints and how he wanted to help bring about planetary changes to benefit all of humanity.
This was the Nick she remembered. Lit up like a Christmas tree, full of ideas and strategies to bring about effective change. Once again it seemed the more things changed the more they stayed exactly the same.
He laughed joyously telling her about his latest Asian adventure which started out as a straightforward business acquisition but which ended with Barrett getting a wind farm complex in the deal. It was like giving him the keys to the candy shop!
In an absent-minded gesture, Nick scooted his chair closer to Shannon’s as he talked and patted the top of his thigh in signal for her to give him her foot. So engrossed was she in his storytelling that she did so without thinking. It all seemed so natural in that moment. The two of them, hanging out and talking.
She was a great person to bounce ideas off of and asked smart questions. He liked that about her; she wasn’t all silicone injected, spray tanned, Spanx’d to the max and dumbed down to the nth degree like so many of the social climbing career women he’d become used to.
As had become a habit he gently massaged her foot while they continued talking. He must have picked up on some of her hippy-dippy L.A. habits and found himself sending healing energy through his touch to her injury. She didn’t hesitate at his touch quite so much now as she had previously, a good sign not only that she was feeling better but that she wasn’t still barricading herself behind a wall of anger.
She asked what he liked doing the most and he found himself telling her about his and Alanna’s plan to open several niche hotels and spa retreats. The first, a funky hacienda complex with world class private bungalows located in the desert southwest, was slated to open in the spring.
Nick’s devotion to his mother was plain to see. Funny, she never thought of him as the family type and yet what she’d learned first and foremost over the last few days was that he was a fierce and loyal family man. An affectionate and over-protective older brother. A superhero uncle. A long-time best friend. And a loving son. Where had the ogre gone?
Nick was still working on her ankle when he told her that the reason his mother Alanna had missed Dom’s big party was because the cruise she was on with her sister was actually a scouting trip to assess Mediterranean resort possibilities. He got her laughing with stories about the endless emails she’d been sending him usually with pictures of everything from what their food looked like to how much it cost to buy bottled water and promised to show her the latest when he pulled his phone off the charger.
Shannon sighed. This was all so nice she thought. Their conversation had been completely normal, without lingering drama. It felt good, damn good. Everything happens for a reason her inner voice whispered and she wondered if this slice of normalcy was meant to remind her of what was missing from her life or show her how it could be again. Either way, both scenarios were inextricably tied together.
“In fact, she’s just returned home um, yesterday I think.” Nick was still talking and Shannon mentally shook herself to get back up to speed before the contentment from their big meal and the languid way he was stroking and rubbing her foot turned her brain to mush.
“Part of my original plan had been to fly home to be with mom for a few days in Connecticut where she lives before heading back to the city. I’d like you to meet her Shannon; I think you two would hit it off….”
Before he could say another word a zip line of panic snapped through Shannon when she realized he was making plans that included her. Her flinching reflex and quick intake of breath stopped the conversation dead cold as Nick went on high alert and asked “What’s wrong? Did I say something? Hurt you?”
Thank god he threw in the hurt you because
it gave Shannon the perfect duck and cover for her unfortunate reaction. She rotated her ankle just a bit and said, “Oh, sorry. It feels good right now but you must have been touching where the bruising it really bad.” That sounded good, right?
Nick’s eyes narrowed fractionally; the cowboy pirate was back and watchful. She knew he could read her like an open book so she made an apologetic moue with her mouth, shrugged and then got very busy removing her foot from his lap and testing it against the floor. He wasn’t fooled, she knew that from his silence, but she had to do something while she corralled her wandering emotions.
They were back to the emotionally charged silence again but maybe that’s what they both needed at times as this journey of rediscovery moved them along toward a still uncertain future. Each had quite a bit to think about. And as he purposefully moved her to the outside patio so he could clear up from dinner, that’s what they both in fact did.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Following their conversation over dinner, Shannon had a myriad of thought-provoking new details to ponder in what was fast becoming an entirely new world view. Nick wasn’t the money hungry fiend she’d been painting him as, although the anguished strokes of bleakness and anger which had been drawn all around him weren’t entirely off the mark. He’d all but put the brush in her hand and instructed her to portray him as a villain. She couldn’t help but think that if she’d been more mature or perhaps less shaken up by their parting and the events which followed, perhaps she might have tried to bridge the painful gulf he’d placed between them once the dust had settled.
The money, which she’d seen as the root of all evil in the old narrative, had actually empowered Nick to blaze new avenues of earth-friendly technologies and systems. To say she’d been surprised to learn all the ways he had turned the entire Barrett empire on its head and reformed the family business into a forward thinking concern he was proud to helm, was an understatement. She’d all but wept at the sound of pride and excitement she’d heard in his voice when he went off on a rambling explanation of wind farms and renewable energy sources because that was the Nick she remembered. That person, smart, hopeful, driven and completely committed to changing the world one good idea at a time was the one she’d fallen in love with. That he’d found a way to turn-around the business he regarded as a life sentence made her so very proud of him. An image of Nick as a phoenix rising from smoldering ashes warmed her more than it probably should.
All the heavy sighs and head-shaking though wasn’t going to change what happened and made Shannon realize that in order to move forward she was going to have to let much of that old paradigm go. He’d certainly been trying to clarify his past behavior using consistent and at times uncomfortable truths and also been damn near on his knees with regret. These things mattered to her and while she wasn’t entirely at ease with the convoluted way his perceptions and actions combined to create such a perfect storm of broken hearts and dashed dreams, she did have to admit that he was dripping with sincerity now. He’d allowed her to vent years of anger and hurt at him and had taken her responses stoically as if he knew he deserved her reproach and much, much more.
Lord almighty but Shannon wanted to trust him. Wanted to simply make all those empty years go away and replace them with something happy and joyful; a brighter future that would see them find their way, together. She’d been so hurt and confused and downright angry for so long but with his non-stop campaign to right the wrong he’d committed it was becoming harder and harder for her to keep him at arm’s length.
Their meal, which had been absolutely fabulous, had satisfied one hunger but it seemed as though with each new reveal Shannon was battling a deeper craving, something raw and primitive that just would not be denied. She wanted him in a way that caught her breath and not just to assuage a physical desire although that was a big part of what she was feeling. She needed to feel his unique spirit again, surrounding her, invading her, making her remember the way it had been between them, once upon a time.
Dusk had begun to enfold the hideaway patio where Shannon sat in pensive reflection. Raising her eyes to a long row of framed wood windows bursting with light from inside the house she could make out Nick’s figure as he moved around her kitchen dealing with the aftermath of the huge dinner he’d whipped up.
No matter the past, she admitted heavily, because with every glance and gentle touch, with each conversation whether it be full of heated emotion or quiet deliberation, and with each passing minute she was falling all over again. And apparently not even trying to stop herself.
She wondered what her expression revealed for try as she might to stay passive, she was far, far from being unmoved. What would the evening ahead bring she wondered. Releasing another in a seemingly endless supply of heavy sighs, Shannon sat back to enjoy the remnants of another fading day and waited for whatever came next.
It hadn’t taken long for Nick to clear the dinner table and tidy up the kitchen so why he was finding more and more in the way of trivial tasks to keep him busy and away from Shannon’s side wasn’t exactly a mystery. He was nervous; uncharacteristically so. He cared so damn much about what was going on in that pretty little tousled head of hers. Feeling as he did made him a bit unsteady emotionally.
She’d asked smart questions over their meal and he had answered each one with heart-felt truthfulness that was unusual for him. One advantage of being who he was the simple fact that he pretty much answered to no one; the majority of the time it was entirely the other way around. Others answered to him. Expecting private feelings and emotions to burst forth from someone in his powerful position was almost ridiculous. But with Shannon, he enjoyed sharing himself. That she wanted to know the real him and not just the public persona was deeply satisfying and damn exciting at the same time.
Nick knew he’d been emotionally closed to real human connections beyond his immediate family for a very long time. Another example of how profoundly he had cut off his personal needs after having lost the only person who had ever found a way into his heart.
Right now he was all but giddy with years of pent-up reactions and feelings and sensations that he was happily sharing now that Shannon was the one who was listening. It reminded him of how they’d met; the way it had made him feel a hundred feet tall that the sweet girl with the knowing eyes looked upon him with unabashed delight and affection. He really didn’t give a damn what anyone else thought of him or how he lived his life but Shannon was the one exception.
He was mindlessly wiping down the already immaculate stove, killing for time, while he paused over that last thought. Yeah, he cared about Jules and his mom and how they felt about things but in the end he had also been shutting them off from his private thoughts for far too long. When he had extinguished the bright light of love which he had shared with Shannon, he’d been reluctant to give any more of himself to the life he had left than was absolutely necessary.
All that changed when he’d found himself staring once again in to a pair of turquoise eyes which had instantly shattered the ice around his frozen heart and illuminated every nook and cranny of his lonely soul. The relief had been enormous and had shaken him up with insight into how barren and desolate he had been for far too long.
The meal they’d shared had brought them to a middle road; one that, while still bumpy at times, had given them a chance to calm the intense emotional fall-out from the past. She was being receptive to him finally and had stopped trying to nail his butt to the wall with daggers of anger and mistrust each time she looked at him.
Glancing around the gleaming stainless steel, marble and highly polished wood of the immaculately cleaned kitchen, Nick lowered the lighting and bolstered himself for the night ahead. He’d thoroughly enjoyed regaling her with tales of his recent Asian trip and found tremendous satisfaction in the way her remarkable eyes, instead of damning his every word, had gazed at him with admiration and delight when he blathered on about plans to green every single division of Barrett’s massive global hol
dings and what doing that would mean for his vision of how businesses of the future should be run. She looked at him while he spoke as she had in his dreams and once, a long time ago, in reality.
He wanted more than her smiling eyes though and the insistent tightening in the area of his pants zipper each time she looked his way or allowed the simplest of touches was bringing that fact home with regularity. She was fighting it though, he had to admit, and for good reason. A patient man he was not, having become used to his every thought and order being met without question.
No amount of bravado or supreme self-confidence could negate his past actions resigning Nick to a slower path; one where she found her footing and called the shots with whatever she was comfortable with while he took mental cold showers and held himself back from seducing her into compliance.
He’d made that mistake once - deciding for her - and he wasn’t fool enough to go at things like that again. Besides, he wanted her back in his life the way she’d been before all the lies and distance, when they’d worked together as partners and life had seemed full of possibilities. Bullying her into acknowledging that she could barely keep her hands to herself was not the way to go. This situation called for some judicious restraint on his part; something his raging libido did not want to hear he grimaced.
Turning to the open doors leading to the patio he sought her out like a moth to the flame, something he winced over in acknowledgment. Without her in his life turning him and everything else upside down and inside out he didn’t know how he’d live if she spurned his attempts at forgiveness and reconciliation. Grabbing a bowl filled with gourmet chocolate meringue cookies he’d found in the grocery delivery, Nick took a deep breath as he set a course and stepped into the fading light of the day making his way to the swinging loveseat where his heart’s desire sat.
The Billionaire's Second Chance Page 16