DEEP
HEAVY HEARTS BOOK 2
SARAH JANE DUNCAN
Copyright © 2021 Sarah Jane Duncan
All rights reserved
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.
ISBN-13: 978-0-9945177-2-2
ASIN: B08WKN2F3V
PA’s: Affinity Author Services (Bibiane Lybaek & Ashton Reid)
Cover by YETI Book Services (Fiverr) – vikncharlie
Photographer: Alexander Krivitskiy
For my mum
A woman who fought her demons daily, bet the odds so many times I lost count, and endured unimaginable pain that couldn’t always be seen.
She was a woman who knew strength and never gave up fighting.
Here’s to you mum!
“Damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.”
Christine Filmer
1947-2008
CHAPTER ONE
Peering through the sheer curtain, my eyes lock onto the car parked in the shadows outside my house. It’s been there for a few minutes, and no one has climbed out. Whoever parked the car there is still inside.
“Can you see it?” Valarie’s voice reminds me I still have her on speakerphone.
“Yep Val, I can see it. It’s different from the one last night, though.” I’ve deliberately left my bedroom light off to make it harder for whoever is out there to see me as I spy.
“It’s different, but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that car before Lexi.” Valarie huffs into the phone. I can just imagine her stretching up on her toes, trying to get a better view of the car from her vantage point in her bedroom next door.
Straining my eyes in the darkness, I try to get a better look. The car does look familiar.
“I think it’s the one I saw drive off early on Sunday morning, but now that I think of it, that’s not the only time I’ve seen this car.” Valarie’s small twelve-year-old voice raises in pitch.
“Are you sure, Val? I need to be sure before I go out there.”
“What?” Valarie shrieks through the phone. “You can’t go out there, Lexi. There have been different cars each night. We don’t know who it is. For all we know, it could be Mike or his creepy friends.”
My twelve-year-old neighbour is both a pain in my arse and the closest thing to a loyal friend I have right now. She was the one who filmed the abuse, my half-brother, Mike, dished out on me a couple of weeks ago and alerted the police. I won’t lie. I’m still pissed about that because I didn’t want the world to know. In saying that, I don’t hate her for it. She technically did the right thing, which is more than I can say for most of the people in my life.
When I dragged my sorry self back home on Saturday after leaving Ayden’s dad’s apartment in the city, Valarie was the first person to see me approach my house. Of course she was. That kid is the street sticky nose!
I’d been standing on the path, staring at my beige rendered two-story house, trying to figure out if it was safe to go inside, when my nosey little neighbour dragged her mum out to see me. It’s then that I found out that Valarie’s mum, Shen, had the locks changed on the house, and had also cleaned up inside. Shen even filled my freezer with frozen meals so that I’d have food for when I came home. If I hadn’t been so consumed with anger from everything that had happened, I most likely would have cried.
Apparently, after seeing a car drive off early Sunday morning, Valarie stayed up late on Sunday night to investigate. It had confused her when she discovered a car parked out the front again that night because it was different from the car she saw that morning, but the problem was still the same. Someone had parked their car outside my house and stayed in it all night, only to drive off as the sun rose over Fox Pines the next morning. Valarie alerted me to the situation once she realised it was actually a situation.
It’s now been five days since I’ve been back home, and each night this week a different car has parked outside my house. Whoever is in the car doesn’t get out. They stay inside until sunrise the next morning when they drive off.
It’s creeping me the fuck out!
Tonight, however, just as Valarie said, the car does seem familiar.
“Val, if it’s the same car that I think it is, then it’s not Mike or his friends. Tell me where you think you’ve seen it before?”
“I feel like it’s the same car that drove past the night that Mike attacked you. I noticed it because it was going really slow as it drove past. Then it went around the corner, and a minute later, two boys came sneaking up to your house and snuck in the front door.” Valarie explains.
“That’s what I thought.”
“Lexi, who...” I cut Valarie off by hanging up, and my phone immediately starts buzzing with another incoming call from Val. I ignore it because I know all she’s going to do is try to talk me into staying inside my house.
Letting the curtain fall back in place, I push down my nerves and walk silently down the stairs to the front door. I’m nervous, but not because I’m about to leave the safety of my house to approach a suspicious car in the dark. My heart is racing for another reason. It aches just thinking about Ayden and the possibility that he might be sitting outside my house right now. I haven’t spoken to him since he told me to leave him alone.
“You asked me to tell you if I ever needed space, so listen carefully because I’m not going to repeat myself. I fucking want space, Lexi! Get the fuck out!”
Those words have replayed over and over in my head for days now. So too has the text message he sent me on Sunday night.
Ayden Mitchell
I’m so fucking sorry!
I wanted to tell him it was okay, but I didn’t. It would have been a lie. It’s not okay that he promised he would protect me from anyone hurting me, only to be the one to hurt me the most. I get it. He was pretty fucked in the head at the time, and I really had no right to go into his parent's room to see him after I was told not to, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
Even though it’s only been five days since I’ve seen or spoken to him, it feels like a lifetime. As much as my heart aches for Ayden, I’m not all that keen to lay eyes on him yet, especially if he’s parked outside my house like a creepy fucking stalker. This shit has to stop. Now!
Turning on my phone torch, I pick up the baseball bat propped next to the front door and quietly step out into the chilly night. My eyes shift to Valarie’s bedroom window, and I see the silhouette of my nosey twelve-year-old neighbour as she follows my movements. With her bedroom located at the front corner of her second-story box-like house, she has the prime location to see my house and the rest of the street.
Taking a deep breath, I push forward with determination and approach the car. Darkness casts a shadow inside, but I can still make out the masculine figure of a male sitting behind the steering wheel. It’s clear whoever is in there notices my approach because they start shifting around in the seat.
Rounding the back of the car, I come to stand by the driver's door and tap on the window not so gently with the bat before shining my torchlight in through the glass.
Marcus Grady. Marcus fucking Grady sits in the car looking up at me like a deer in headlights.
“What the fuck!” I tap the window again, and Marcus opens the door, looking up at me.
“Ah, hey Lex.” His dark hair looks longer than usual, like he’s skipped his regular haircut. It’s also a little
messier, but that’s probably from sleeping in a car like a stalker.
“What are you doing?”
“Um… I was just coming to see how you are.” Marcus glances at the bat in my hand, worry contorting his face. Good, he should be fucking worried. I shove the bat in his face just to make a point.
“Don’t fucking lie to me, Marcus!”
“Jesus, Lexi,” he puts his hands up to fend off my threatening assault before hitting the bat away, frowning. “You planning on hitting me with that?”
“If you keep lying to me, then you can bet your balls I’m going to hit you with it!”
Marcus sighs and runs his hands through his hair in frustration, messing it more.
“I’m just here to keep an eye on things, Lexi. I just want to make sure you’re not alone if your brother comes back.”
Well shit. I hadn’t even considered that would be his reason. I don’t know why. It makes perfect sense. He is my friend, after all. I guess I’m just so paranoid right now that I’m expecting everyone to turn into a monster.
“It’s been you out here every night?” My voice is soft and portrays my weak emotions. Emotions I’ve done a damn good job at shoving down from the moment I stepped on the train to come back to Fox Pines.
Marcus shakes his head, “No, not just me. The guys have been taking turns each night as well.”
“The guys?”
“Simon, Gaz, Shaun and Jar.” Marcus looks up at me from his seat in the car, and I see the honesty in his brown eyes.
The boys from our circle of friends have been the ones sitting outside my house each night? I’m not sure what to make of that, but it does weird things to my insides, and I suddenly miss each one of them. A tear slips from my eye before I can stop it.
For fuck’s sake, I’d been doing so well for days until Marcus turns up and shows me the slightest bit of compassion, transforming me into a stupid prissy girl again. Ugh!
Marcus swings his legs out of the car, and I step back so he can stand, towering over me like most people do. He doesn’t say anything but reaches out and gently pulls me to his chest. I don’t refuse the comfort he is offering and silently let a few more tears fall before fighting them back. I’m sick of crying. I don’t want to shed any more tears over this fucked up situation.
I’m not used to being on the receiving end of Marcus’s cuddles. He smells nice, like spicy cinnamon, but it’s not the same as Ayden, and his chest doesn’t seem as firm as Ayden’s does either. I know I shouldn’t be thinking of Ayden right now. The main reason being that it rips my heart open each time I do, but the other is because Ayden isn’t the one here, checking on me and wanting to make sure I’m safe.
Pulling back, I look up at Ayden’s cousin and take in the concern etched across his face.
“Were you planning on staying out here all night?” I ask.
“Yeah.” Marcus doesn’t elaborate.
I sigh. “Come inside. If you’re staying all night, you may as well stay in the house where it’s warm.”
Marcus shifts nervously, looking over the top of the car at my house. “Ah… no, that’s okay. I can just stay out here.”
“Jesus Marcus, I don’t bite. Come on.” I don’t wait for him to reply and start walking briskly back towards my house. Apparently, wearing my PJ shorts and Metallica t-shirt outside is a bad idea on a chilly August winter night.
The squeak of a car door slamming shut is followed by heavy footsteps behind me as Marcus gives in to come inside. As I walk up the path to my house, I glance up to Valarie’s window and give her a quick wave, hoping she will understand and know that I’m okay. A moment later the dark silhouette waves back, and I turn my head quickly to hide my grin. I love that kid!
Once inside, I lead Marcus to the kitchen and turn on the kettle.
“You want a hot drink? Coffee? Tea? Hot Chocolate?” Just saying the words hot chocolate sends a pang to my heart. Ayden and I drank hot chocolate in the rooftop garden of his dad’s apartment building right before I gave him my virginity.
“Hot chocolate would be great, thanks.” Taking a seat at the kitchen bench, Marcus looks around the room as I make the hot drinks. Now that I can see him better under the warm lighting, I notice his normally tanned skin looks a little pale. I can’t really talk, though. My skin is more pallid than it’s ever been.
It’s a little weird to have Marcus here again. He stopped coming over a few years ago, which is apparently when he started crushing on me. That’s what Ayden told me, anyway. Marcus has never said anything to me about it, and if I’m being honest, I’d be happy for him to keep that secret to himself. I love him in a friendly way, nothing more.
Handing Marcus his drink, I lean against the opposite bench to take a sip of the hot sweet goodness and watch as Marcus does the same, looking everywhere but at me.
“How did you know I was back?”
Marcus startles at my question. I guess he was hoping to avoid my interrogation. Ha! As if I am going to be that easy on him!
Marcus keeps his eyes locked on mine for a few moments while the wheels noticeably turn in his head.
“The truth is always a good place to start, Marcus.” I verbally nudge, raising a blonde brow at him.
“I should have known you wouldn’t make this easy for me.” He shakes his head and grins, looking down at his hot drink, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink.
“Exactly. Now spill.”
“Fine.” Marcus huffs, “Ayden called me on Saturday night freaking out because you had gone. He told me what happened with that Muz guy and the drugs, or at least what he could remember about it. He said he lost his shit at you when he was coming down from his high. Crashing, I believe was the word he used. He said you probably wouldn’t have anywhere to go because Abbey’s parents seem to have an issue with you. He was worried. I called Abbey, and she said she hadn’t heard from you, so I got my sister to do a drive-by that night, and the lights were on.” He shrugs, “I figured it was you here.”
It hurts to hear him speak about Ayden. Why hadn’t Ayden just called me himself? I guess he was happy that I’d left, but the caring side of him just wanted to make sure I had somewhere safe to go. Why hadn’t Abbey called me either? I know her parents are blocking me from calling her, but she could have called me. I’ve tried reaching her by phone daily and sent her numerous SnapChats that have remained unanswered. She’s left me on delivered since she called me back on Saturday.
Fucking Saturday. Everything went to hell that day!
“I’m sorry, Lexi. As if you didn’t already have enough to deal with before, then Ayden’s past caught up with the both of you.”
The consuming rage I’ve felt since leaving Melbourne bubbles near the surface, fighting to break free. My hand twitches with the need to grab the baseball bat and start swinging it at the walls and furniture. I’ve been tempted daily to take my anger out on this house but have managed to hold back… just.
“You’re not eighteen, Marcus. How did you drive here?” I deflect from talking about Ayden, “Or the others for that fact. How did they drive here? You are all seventeen.”
Marcus shrugs, “We’ve been waiting until it’s safe enough to take the cars without getting caught. Just after dark or after the olds go to bed seems to be the best time. The streets are quiet, and no cops are patrolling at that time of night.”
“Are you shitting me? You stole your parent’s cars and drove them here without a licence?”
“Well, the car I drove is my sister’s shit box she leaves at home while she’s in the city. I’m sure if I told her what’s going on, she would let me take it.”
“Marcus, that’s not the point!”
He laughs, “I guess not.”
“And the others all did the same?” My voice is pitched high in disbelief.
“Yep.” Marcus nods.
“You guys are a pack of idiots!” I put my mug down on the counter, no longer interested in finishing it. Food hasn’t been a high priority lat
ely, anyway.
“Probably, but we mean well, Lex.” He shrugs.
“I guess. Did Ayden ask you to do this? To watch me?” Saying his name crushes my chest. The pain is unlike anything I’ve felt before. It’s consuming and never-ending.
Marcus shifts nervously on the chair and puts his drink aside too. “Not exactly. He just wanted to know you were somewhere safe. I didn’t tell him you were back at home by yourself. He kinda needs to sort his own shit out, and if he knew you were alone, he would flip.”
“So, what did you tell him?”
“Not much, actually. I just sent him a text saying that you were safe, and told him to do what he needs to, so he can get better.”
“Whose idea was it to sit outside my house?” I ask, shooting Marcus a brief glare.
“Mine, I guess.” He shrugs again as if it’s no big deal.
“So, you thought it would be better to sit out on the street, like a stalker, instead of knocking on the door?”
He looks away, his face red. “I never claimed to be smart.”
I laugh this time, and he joins in, looking a little more at ease than he was when he walked in earlier. When our laughter dies down, I tip my drink down the sink and start washing the mug.
“If I ask you to leave, will you?”
When I look up, Marcus is staring at me, his expression serious.
“If you don’t want me in your house, Lexi, that’s fine, but I’m not leaving. I’ll stay out in my car.”
I shake my head, “How long is this going to go on for Marcus? Until my mum comes home? She won’t be back for a while.”
“For as long as it takes for the cops to find your fucking brother and lock him up.” The angry admission from Marcus shocks me. I’ve never really heard him sound so serious and demanding. He reminds me of Ayden when he’s like that.
“So even if my mum comes home, you’re still going to be here babysitting me?”
“It’s not babysitting. And yes. She can’t protect you. If she could, then this would never have happened.” His lip curls when he speaks of my mum. Wow! I haven’t seen this side of Marcus before.
Deep (Heavy Hearts Book 2) Page 1