Tasha is in detention as well, doing her time for her crimes. She does a good job of ignoring Rhys’s attempts to stir her up. I, however, find the whole thing way too entertaining, and Rhys knows it. Just like with that boy I don’t like to talk about, my friendship with Rhys has evolved quickly, and it makes me wonder why. Am I so needy that I latch onto someone so quickly? Or have I just had unheard-of luck in finding a friend I truly connect with? Whatever it is, it makes me both thankful and wary.
After detention Rhys and I walk out to find the boys waiting… and Ayden is with them. My heart somersaults in my chest at seeing him. Stupid heart! Looking over the boy's faces, I notice each one of them wears a look of unease or guilt. They know damn well that I wouldn’t be happy that Ayden is with them waiting for me, yet here he is, standing with them like he belongs there.
“Damn! Shit’s about to get real, hey?” Rhys asks, not helping the situation since she says it so everyone can hear.
“Want to come over to my place?” I drag my eyes away from the boys and focus on Rhys.
She turns her head to the side to study me. I don’t know what she sees, but she smiles and nods, linking her arm in mine. “Absolutely. Lead the way to your palace, my queen.”
My hope that the boys will back off and let me have some time with Rhys quickly vanishes as they follow us out of school.
I spin to them, avoiding Ayden’s eyes to address my friends.
“You guys can go home. Rhys will be with me.”
“Nice try Lex.” Jared chuckles, walking up to us, linking his arm with Rhys and moving us forward again. Traitor.
The other boys chat away behind us as we walk, so I plead to Jared.
“Jar, please. I don’t need you guys to come over tonight.”
“You know we’re not leaving you, Lexi. Save your breath.” He doesn’t even look at me when he speaks.
I huff, “You just come over then. There’s no need for everyone to be there.”
Rhys darts her head between Jared and me as we speak. I swear she’s going to pull a neck muscle.
“Lex stop! You need to face him, eventually. May as well get it over with, hey?” Jared looks at me this time, his blue eyes firm and serious.
I want to cry.
“You smell really nice. How have I not met you before?” Rhys interrupts, and I’m grateful.
Jared smiles down at her, “I don’t know. I’m Jared.”
“Rhys,” she introduces herself, “Lexi’s new best friend.”
“Pleased to meet you, Rhys. So where do you hang out at school?”
Rhys laughs, “Nice try, Jared. The only way I’m revealing that is while your head is between my legs, making me scream.”
Laughter rips from Jared so forcefully that he nearly makes us stumble since he’s still linked with Rhys, with me on her other side.
“Noted. I’ll be sure to make that happen.” Jared finally responds.
Rhys grins, “Are you jealous, Lexi? Because if you don’t want one of your boys to make me cum, you better say so now.”
I laugh, “Have at it, Rhys.”
Rhys grins at me while Jared frowns behind her before looking away. I want to ignore the look he gave me, but I know I won’t be able to. I need to ask him about that later because I thought we had cleared up any confusion about our relationship. His look said otherwise.
When we reach my house, the boys flow in and make themselves at home like they usually do. The PlayStation gets turned on, music starts streaming from the stereo, and Marcus and Simon head to the kitchen to seek out food. I stand just inside the living room and watch Rhys as she demands control of the stereo over Shaun. Ayden comes to stand next to me, looking taken back by the scene before him.
I try to assess what he’s witnessing through his eyes. He’s seeing how comfortable the boys are in my house, how we all seem to have a routine. He can also see the blankets on the living room floor. Whoops.
“Who slept there?” He asks, and I almost sigh at the sound of his voice. Or melt. Probably both.
“Last night, it was Shaun’s turn to sleep there with Lexi. The night before, Gaz and Me had the honours.” Simon divulges, walking back in the room with a packet of potato chips.
My eyes widen in horror. He did not just say that. Did he?
Simon doesn’t make it far into the room before Ayden reefs him back by his school blazer and throws him against the wall by the front window, potato chips flying through the air.
“You better be fucking kidding!” Ayden roars, and Marcus leaps into action to pull his cousin off Simon.
While I know I should be panicking, for some reason, I’m not. A strange calm comes over me, so I lean back against the door frame watching the scene before me like it’s a good movie, while Marcus does damage control.
“Calm the fuck down, man!” Marcus gets up in Ayden’s face forcing him to step back from Simon, who glares daggers at Ayden while he straightens his blazer.
“Why the fuck are you sleeping with her? That wasn’t part of the fucking agreement!” Ayden glares at Simon, and then Garrett and Shaun. My ears perk up.
“What agreement?” Suddenly I don’t feel so calm anymore.
“I thought you said this wasn’t a reverse harem?” Rhys asks, coming to stand beside me.
“It’s not!” I snap, not taking my eyes off a very guilty looking Marcus.
“If you’re like, sleeping with all of them, then girl, you have yourself a harem.”
“Jesus, Rhys,” I turn to her, needing her to stop talking about this in front of Ayden, “I’m not fucking them. I’m not doing anything remotely sexual with them. There is no fucking harem!”
“What the fuck is she talking about?” Ayden asks, but I ignore him.
“What agreement, Marcus?” I ask Marcus because I don’t want to speak to Ayden.
“Nothing,” Marcus adds and turns his attention back to a still fuming Ayden. “I wouldn’t have told you about Lexi’s stuff going missing if I knew you would come back here and pick shit at everyone.”
“You know what. Fuck you all! Get out of my house!” I yell, my patience snapping. No one is telling me the truth. I’m sick of being lied to. “Get the fuck out!”
No one makes a move to leave, so I turn to Rhys.
“You should go.”
“Um, no. I’m not leaving you here to deal with these douchecanoes on your own.” Rhys frowns at me, looking more serious than I’ve ever seen her.
“Douchecan-what?” Shaun asks.
Rhys turns to him, “Douchecanoes. Google it.”
“Rhys, seriously. It’s okay. I’m used to these boys invading my space.”
Rhys steps up to me, putting her hand on my shoulder. “I’m staying the night, Lexi. You can shut me out tomorrow, but I’m not leaving.”
I can see her genuine concern, and my heart pangs a little. I nod, and she pecks me on the cheek before moving across the space to sit on the couch.
The room goes quiet, with a thousand unanswered questions still hanging over our heads.
“Ha! Douchecanoes. It’s actually a word! An obnoxious or contemptible person, typically a man.” Chuckles float around the room when Shaun reads out the meaning. “Hey, wait a minute. We’re not douchecanoes.”
“Aren’t you?” I raise my brow in question, leaving Shaun with confusion twisting his handsome Latino face.
“Is anything missing today Lex?” Ayden asks, and I ignore him, not wanting to even look at his beautiful blue caring eyes.
“Come on, let’s go have a look.” Jared steps up to me, and I happily let him lead me out of the room by my wrist. I don’t miss the glare Ayden throws him or the way Ayden hones in on where Jared is holding me.
We look in each room on both floors, but I don’t notice anything out of place, so Jared relays that to the boys before making their plans for babysitting duty tonight. Marcus, of all people, gets the job, and I’m a little annoyed because he’s the last person I want to be with since he’s
clearly been keeping secrets from me.
We have pizza once again, although I struggle to get through half a slice. There are attempts at doing homework, but it seems as though no one can concentrate. Just before the sun goes down, the boys say their goodbyes for the night and leave, but Ayden hovers and follows me out to the garage invading my sacred space.
“Lex, can we talk?” His voice sends chills, of the good kind, all over my skin, and I fight hard not to let him see my body’s reaction.
I not so subtly turn the volume up on the Bluetooth speaker and start pounding the shit out of the bag, letting myself fall into the zone where all that exists is my anger. I punch, kick, and throw my shoulders into the bag over and over, letting the sweat drench my body until I’m exhausted.
When I come up for air, I find myself alone in the garage. That’s when I finally let myself go, collapsing to the cold concrete floor to cry.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Another sleepless night equals another grumpy Lexi. Part of me, and I must say, it’s a very stupid part, wanted Ayden to still be in my house when I dragged myself in from the garage last night. Thankfully, Marcus didn’t notice my disappointment, but Rhys did. Nothing seems to get past that girl.
Marcus and Rhys were doing homework together when I came in, which kind of blew my mind. I never imagined them getting along so well, but my judgement doesn’t mean shit these days. By 10pm, Rhys insisted we watch Stranger Things on Netflix. I didn’t think I would like it, but what can I say? Now I’m hooked. By midnight I went to my mum’s room to get changed for bed, still happy that I found my Slipknot t-shirt earlier where I left it on the bed that morning. I went through the motions of brushing my teeth and then went to take my birth control pill, however, when I went to get the packet out of my toilet bag I keep in my mum’s bathroom now, it wasn’t there.
That’s why sleep evades me once again. Knowing my pill had been there the night before, and is now missing, turns me into an even bigger nutcase than I already was. I toss and turn on the couch for hours, waiting for sleep to come, but eventually give up, worried that I’ll disturb Marcus and Rhys, who had taken the makeshift bed on the floor. I did point out to them that there was a second couch in the room for one of them, but they ignored me. It could be just me, but I think there’s something brewing between them.
Creeping silently through my house in the dark, I peer out through the windows, looking for any signs that things aren’t right. Even though everything appears as it should, nothing feels right. Something feels very wrong. When I found my pill was missing, I told Marcus, and he sent a message to someone. Probably Ayden.
It doesn’t really matter that I didn’t take my birth control pill since I’m pretty sure I won’t be having sex for a while. My cycle is all up the shit anyway from my lack of taking it when I was in Melbourne. Marcus hadn’t packed my pill the night they’d helped me escape, so I had to start again when I got back home, and now I’ll have to get another script and start all over again.
Foul mood in full swing, I know I need to try and protect myself from the world. Or maybe I should be protecting the world from me and my bad mood. When I see Rhys and Marcus waking up for the day, I decide to block everything out with music using Ayden’s blue earphones. Rhys doesn’t seem fazed by my need to do this, but Marcus looks concerned, although doesn’t bother me. I’m fairly certain I have Rhys to thank for that.
Before we leave for school, I look around the house and try to memorise where everything is, so it’s hopefully easier to spot if something is missing when I come home later. Part of me wants to stay home and catch whoever it is, but I’m also too scared, knowing deep down that the only person it could possibly be is Mike.
When we walk into school, boy pack in tow, Tasha sees me and steps towards me, ready to start shit. I dig deep for inner calm and simply shoulder her out of the way and glare at anyone who looks to challenge me.
We turn heads as we walk through the school, me up the front with Rhys and the boys following close behind. It must look ridiculous. I don’t care, though, and I doubt the guys care either. I should turn around and tell them all to back off and give me some space, but I don’t. If I’m honest with myself, I’d admit that I like their attention, but I’m in a foul mood and hating on everything today, so I ignore how much their need to protect me warms my heart and focus on how smothering it has been of late.
English is somewhat okay. I keep my headphones in, ignoring the world, and Miss Dice allows it as long as I do my work. Ayden doesn’t try to sit with me, but I feel his eyes burning a hole into the side of my head throughout the whole class.
Art is a reprieve, and even Ms Holland doesn’t ask me to remove my earphones. I throw myself into the gray-scale canvas that I’m painting of a lake with reflections of the clouds in the water. It looks okay, I guess. I’m not going to be a famous artist anytime soon, but I might get a B for this piece.
I have no appetite once again, and at recess, I make my way straight to the back of the school to meet my new friends. When I reach my gang of misfits, instead of the normally happy welcome, I’m met with glares and daggers. Frowning, I tug my earphones out.
“What?” I ask, feeling the full force of their anger.
Rhys laughs standing from the steps, and points behind me, “Your wolf pack followed you.”
My eyes widen, and I spin to see the smug as fuck faces of Marcus, Jared, Garrett, Simon, Shaun and Ayden.
“For fuck's sake! I’m fine here with these guys. You can go have a normal recess without babysitting me.” I sweep my hand in a shooing motion.
Frowns tug at their faces, all except Ayden, who walks past me to the steps where my new friends sit, and then, he introduces himself to them.
What the actual fuck!
As if they are all possessed by the same idiocy, the other boys join Ayden and introduce themselves too. No. Fucking. Way.
I glare at them as they converse, making me feel overwhelmingly stupid for some reason. I never imagined my two groups of friends mingling and talking. It was enough for me to deal with Rhys hanging out with them last night. My new friends aren’t the typical type of people the boys associate with. I’m anxious about this, but even as I look on, I see them chatting freely and even laughing. Probably at my expense.
Not wanting to join in on their invasion, I stuff the earphones back in my ears and ignore everyone as I take a seat on one of the logs on the grass and turn my back to them. It doesn’t take long for Ayden to appear in my line of sight, and he leans down to offer me a choc chip muffin. Acting as stubborn as ever, I look away and ignore him as he stands before me, looking down with a frown. Dale’s thin, lanky body comes into view, and he sits next to me on the log, offering me his joint. I mouth a thank you to him and take it.
Ayden’s frown deepens. I pretend I don’t notice as I draw the smoke in and close my eyes, savouring the feeling. When I open my eyes, I can see confusion etched across his beautiful face. I get it. He’s seeing the trashy version of me right now. He hasn’t met her until now. I bet he’s second-guessing ever taking me into his life.
With my eyes locked on his, I take another deep drag, silently challenging him to try and stop me. Apparently, I feel like playing with fire today!
Ayden takes his phone out and types something. A moment later, my phone vibrates with an incoming message. I roll my eyes at him, and his blue eyes practically glow as he glares at me in a silent challenge. I give in.
Taking my phone out, I read his message.
Ayden Mitchell
Talk to me, Lex.
Lexi West
<< middle finger emoji >>
This time Ayden rolls his eyes at me and starts to type out his response on his phone. I take another drag of the joint before handing it back to Dale, who gives me a wink before walking off, leaving me alone with Ayden.
Shit! I should call him back over.
My phone vibrates again, and I sigh before opening the message. It’s a long one.
Part of me doesn’t want to read it because I’m a stubborn bitch, and I don’t really know if I can handle knowing what he wants to say. The other part of me is practically frothing at the mouth to know, and that’s the part of me that wins.
Ayden Mitchell
Since you won’t talk to me, then I’ll talk. I need to tell you how sorry I am for so many things. Mostly though, I need you to know how incredibly sorry I am for the way I treated you before you left. I’m not trying to make excuses, but please believe me when I tell you, that person who was in that bedroom in Melbourne was not me! He was a different version and someone I have worked so hard to be rid of. I am not him, and yet I am. That is the war I battle every day to beat the urges to turn to drugs and throw away my life again.
The me you spent time with before we ran into Muz, that’s the real me. Our time together was the most real thing I have ever experienced with another person Lexi. It’s you, Lexi. You make me real. You make me want to be a better person.
Can you please find it in your heart to forgive me? I will spend every minute of every day, making it up to you. I swear!
Tears fall freely and blur my vision as I read his honest words. When he sees I’m done reading, he squats down in front of me, trying to catch my eyes. I slide my phone into my blazer pocket and wipe away my tears, keeping my eyes cast to the ground. Reaching out, Ayden places his hand on my knee, and I almost moan. It feels so good to have him touch me, and I just want to leap into his arms and fall into a world that is just him and me again.
But my world isn’t just the two of us. My world is all kinds of fucked up, and he is too good of a person to be dragged into it.
“I’m sorry,” I say before standing quickly and hightailing it away from every single one of my friends. I consider going to hide out in the girl’s toilets, but instead, I find myself knocking on the school counsellor’s door.
Deep (Heavy Hearts Book 2) Page 14