“I can’t talk about this.” Abbey’s voice wavers before she continues. “I’m sorry, but I have to go.” She steps around me, walking briskly up her front lawn.
I turn and catch up.
“Why did you show Tasha the picture’s I sent you? Why did you tell her my secrets? Why did you let her spread lies about me? Why did you stand by and watch her hit me when you know everything I’ve been through?”
Tears spring to Abbey’s eyes as she stops walking and looks at me but glances away quickly. It was enough for me to see the pain behind her brown eyes.
“Look Lexi, I’m sorry, okay.” Abbey declares, looking back at me. “I’ve made some bad decisions lately, and I can’t take them back. There is no way of making up for what I’ve done. You should stay away from me. Now I need to go.”
“Wait!” I grab Abbey’s wrist, and she flinches in pain. It’s not pain I’ve caused either; it’s pain that’s already there. Frowning, I let go, not wanting to hurt her. “What’s wrong with your wrist?”
Abbey tries like hell to cover the pain she’s feeling, but the thing is, I’ve known her since we wore fairy wings and silly tulle dresses to the park. She can’t hide that from me.
“It’s nothing. I have to go.” She practically runs the few steps up to her front door before disappearing behind it.
I still have no idea what’s going on, but just like things with my mum and dad, there is definitely more to Abbey’s betrayal than what I thought. I know it deep in my heart. Yes, she betrayed me, but not to be one of Tasha’s minions. She betrayed me for another reason, but for the life of me, I can’t think what it could be.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, so I turn away from Abbey’s house and answer it while I start walking.
“Where’s my girl? Marcus had to duck home and grab his stuff for footy training and said you weren’t there.” Ayden’s voice instantly calms me. I don’t know how he does that, but I’m grateful.
“Ah- I’m walking back from Abbey’s.”
“Why were you at Abbey’s?” Ayden asks, sounding confused.
“It was time we had a chat,” I say, simply picking up my pace.
“And how did that go?”
“I still don’t know why she’s turned on me, but I do know that something more is going on.” I look around as I walk, paranoia always present. Shit, why did I think walking alone is a good idea?
“Oh? Why do you think that?” Ayden asks. He sounds puffed, his breathing ragged.
“A few things she said, and a feeling I have.” I say, “Ayden, what are you doing?”
“Jogging.” He huffs.
“Why?”
“You look beautiful today Lex. The way those leggings hug your arse… mmm.”
“What?” I squeak, realising he knows that I’m wearing my leggings. I didn’t have them on this morning when he left for school, so how does he know? I look around frantically, thinking he must be somewhere that he can see me.
He chuckles down the line. “I can see that pretty pink blush from here.”
Searching the area, my eyes catch his tall frame walking towards me on the other side of the street.
“Weren’t you walking home?” I ask, shocked to see him as he crosses the street to get to me.
He shrugs and then bends over, his hands braced on his knees as he puffs. “I was.” Puff. Puff. “But then you said.” Puff. Puff. “That you were walking.” Puff. Puff. “From Abbey’s.” He stands taller then, gaining his breath. “So, I turned around and ran here instead of going home. I was just down the road.”
I frown. “But how’d you know where Abbey lives?” If it were Jared or Marcus, then that would be understandable because we grew up together, but Ayden hasn’t been to Abbey’s before.
“SnapMaps,” Ayden says. I look at my phone and realise that at some point, Ayden must have ended our call.
“SnapMaps?” I ask. “I don’t use the map feature on SnapChat.”
“Ah, yeah. It was Jared’s idea to turn it on so we could find you if something happened.”
“What? Like trying to hide from you guys at school, or if I run off to a party with Rhys?” I shove my hands on my hips, not impressed.
“Hey, he only turned it on after the party. But yes, we all want to keep you safe.”
I frown, and he laughs before reaching out to my hip and pulling me to him.
“I missed you.” He says before leaning in to capture my lips in a searing kiss.
My arms know what they want, and they wrap around his neck as he draws me closer, tasting me with his tongue.
“I need to get you home where I can show you how much I missed you today.” Ayden draws back, his blue eyes flitting from my lips to my eyes.
“I like that idea.”
We walk quickly, both of us needing to get behind closed doors to continue that kiss. I use the time to tell Ayden about what happened at my house. It didn’t go well. He’s pissed off big time because I didn’t call him and didn’t let him know what went down until now. He’s also pissed because Muz showed up, even though he helped me.
When we arrive back, he doesn’t even ask me if I want to go up to his loft; he just decides for me and drags me up there, slamming the door behind us. I’m not saying I don’t want to go up to his loft because hell yes, I do, but playing hard to get is kind of fun because it seems to piss him off more. Something I realise I like doing.
I know, I know, I’m messed up!
“Get your clothes off!” His words are demanding, and for a brief moment, I panic. Mike's face flashes through my mind from when he said similar demanding words to me.
“Oh fuck. Lexi, I’m so sorry.” Ayden’s face contorts from the sexy dominant annoyed at his girlfriend look, to shame and sorrow. He saw the panic on my face. I obviously didn’t hide it in time. He steps towards me, but I step back. Determination fuelling me. I need to get past this shit.
“Say it again,” I demand, and he frowns.
“What?”
“Say the words to me again,” I demand.
“No. Lexi I’m sorry I…”
“Fuck it, Ayden. Say the words to me again, dammit!” Angry heat pools behind my eyes.
“Why?” He whispers, confusion in his gaze.
“Make new memories. Isn’t that what you said up in my bedroom the other night?” When he nods, I continue, “Make new memories with me, Ayden. Help me replace the old ones with ones I want. Say. It. Again.”
Understanding dawns in his blue eyes, and he parts those kissable lips.
“Get your clothes off.”
I raise an unimpressed brow at him, “Really? That’s all you got? I think I’ll pass.”
He chuckles, “You sassy minx. Get your clothes off now!”
A shiver runs down my spine at his demanding tone. Yes, I like this side of him. “Again.”
“Lex, I won’t say it again. Get your fucking clothes off!”
That does the trick. Heat pools between my legs and need fills me. Biting my lip, I lift my t-shirt up over my head and drop it to the floor. The heat in Ayden’s eyes is so addictive, I couldn’t stop now if I tried.
Hooking my fingers in the waistband, I drag my leggings down slowly and watch his eyes as they follow my hands until I step out of the fabric.
“You’re mine.” He growls the words, and I raise a brow.
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“What if I don’t want to be yours?” I tease, making him growl again.
“You can fight it all you want. You’re mine, and that’s all there is to it.” He licks his lips. “Bra off.”
I do as he asks, reaching back to unclasp my bra, trying to shake off Mike’s voice when he demanded the same thing. Again, my face must show my vulnerability, and when Ayden’s face drops, I shake my head at him, throwing him a glare and letting my bra fall to the floor.
“Lex. Maybe this isn’t a good idea.”
“Let me ask you something,” I say, standing as tall as
I can, pushing out my chest and drawing his attention to my pebbled nipples. “Do you like being dominant like this? Is this part of you?”
“It doesn’t have to be.” He answers as his eyes watch my hand lift to my breast, and my fingers graze over my nipples.
“That’s not what I asked.”
He sighs. “Yes, I like it. Yes, it's part of me.” He answers honestly.
“Then stop holding back. I like this part of you, Ayden. I may freak, I may even get upset, but I will tell you to stop if I need you to. If I don’t say stop, then don’t. I know it sounds messed up but help me work through this shit so I can be… normal.”
Ayden’s chest rises and falls as his breathing becomes deeper and faster before he nods.
“Fine, get in the shower then.”
I freeze.
Ayden’s breathing quickens, and his nostrils flare. He ducks his head for a moment, looking to his feet and shakes his head. I can see this is killing him, I didn’t tell him to go that far, but maybe it’s exactly what I need. The quicker I face those demons, the quicker I can be a normal girlfriend.
I can tell he’s about to apologise again, so I move past him, my legs shaking a little as I head towards his bathroom. Turning on the light, I step inside the small white space keeping my back to him.
“Lex.” He pleads.
“Keep going,” I beg, a tear popping free.
“You still have clothes on. I said everything off.” Ayden’s voice gives away how much he is struggling, so I suck in a breath and turn to him, holding my head high. He moves to step towards me when he sees my face, but I shake my head slowly, and he stops and sighs.
“Take your panties off. Let me see what’s underneath.” His voice is husky but firm.
I bite my lip and do as he says, sliding them down slowly. What Ayden doesn’t know is that I’m getting turned on right now. If he wasn’t so wrapped up in his head with concern for me, then he’d see the heat in my eyes. I desperately want to reach out to him, but I need to see this through for a little bit longer.
“Get in the shower and turn it on. Leave the door open.” Ayden demands, and I do as he says.
I don’t feel humiliated or violated right now like I did with Mike. With Ayden's heated gaze travelling over my body, I feel beautiful, desired, wanted. I let the water flow over me, warming my skin before I turn back to Ayden.
“Wash your hair.” He demands, and I obey. It’s hard to concentrate on the task at hand, though. Not when I can see the hardness behind his school pants. I do a pretty crappy job of washing my hair, anticipation adding to the desire building in me.
“Turn around and face the back wall,” Ayden growls, and I move slowly, making sure he can see my confidence before I turn. “Now, bend over and wash your legs. Slowly!”
Fuck. This hits home big time. Mike’s voice fills my head, and my breathing quickens.
I can do this. I can do this.
I will my legs to stop shaking as I take the bar of Ayden’s soap off the ledge and slowly bend. I remind myself that the eyes watching me this time are Ayden’s. They are ocean eye’s that own my soul. They are eye’s that drink me in and show me love.
I hear the moment Ayden gets a view of my most intimate part when I’ve bent fully, rubbing the soap over my ankles. His quick intake of air is followed by a moan. I feel like I’m about to spiral, my heart racing so fast that I fear it’s going to explode. The problem is, I can’t tell if it’s because I’m scared or excited. So, I test myself. It’s the only way I’m going to know. Taking another deep breath, I widen my stance, running the soap up the inside of my leg just past my knee. A lust-filled moan escapes Ayden, and pure need pulses between my legs.
Fuck yes! New memories!
“Stand up and turn around.” Ayden’s voice is gravelly. Husky. And damn if that’s not a turn-on of its own.
I obey once again, coming face to face with the guy I’m sure is an angel sent down to save me.
“Wash between your legs. Wash that sweet pussy for me.”
My eyes squeeze shut as I focus on Ayden’s voice. Mike said something similar, and I need to get his voice out of my head.
“Say the last part again,” I whisper loudly.
Ayden clears his throat, “Wash that sweet pussy for me.”
I open my eyes to meet his as I do as he asks and wash over my aching sex. Ayden’s breathing is as rapid as my own, and he moves to the fly of his pants and pulls down the zip.
“Drop the soap.” He demands. This is new. I wasn’t asked that last time, but that’s okay. I’m no longer there in that bathroom with my half-brother. I’m here inside Ayden’s shower, with his eyes watching my every move, so I do as he demands and drop the soap.
“Touch yourself.” He growls, so I do. I let my hands roam over my aching breasts, first one and then the other, before dragging my hand towards the place that is desperate to be touched. Desperate to be filled.
Ayden lets his pants and jocks fall to his ankles as he takes his hard length in his hand and pumps. “Show me how you like to be touched, Lexi.”
I comply, my fingers finding my nub and circling. A moan escapes, and I move my feet apart further as I seek more with my fingers.
“You are so fucking beautiful, Lex. Look at what you do to me.” He keeps pumping while he works to step out of his pants.
As my fingers work, my eyes dart from his pleasure pained face to his straining hardness that looks almost painful. I bite my bottom lip, moaning again, and then Ayden is in the shower with me, pinning me to the wall.
Moaning. Panting. Kissing. Water falling. These are the sounds that fill the room. I’m desperate to have Ayden inside me, but he has different ideas. My eyes widen when he drops to the floor of the shower and lifts my leg, hooking it over his shoulder. Then I forget to breathe.
His blue eyes meet mine as I look down and watch his tongue dart out to taste me between my legs, and I hold my breath, my hips surging forward, seeking more. My head tips back as Ayden kisses and laps at me in the most intimate way possible, and then he draws his head back.
“Look at me, Lexi.” He growls, and I immediately look back down at him. “Don’t take your eyes off mine. Keep them open, or I’ll stop.”
Exasperated, my mouth forms an O before I snap it shut when his mouth seeks out my heat once again. It’s hard. Really hard to keep my eyes open. It’s also incredibly intimate, having to keep my eyes on his while he builds the pleasure inside me. His blue eyes glow with satisfaction when he can tell how close I am to exploding, so he adds his fingers, sliding them inside, and I do what he set out to do. I explode, over and over and over.
I’ve barely recovered when my leg is dropped off Ayden’s shoulder, and I’m lifted against the wall. Before I’ve even locked my legs around him, Ayden surges inside, filling me. We both cry out, the pleasure taking over as Ayden starts to pump inside me. He starts out slow, but it doesn’t last long. He is fevered with need, and his pace quickens.
“You feel fucking amazing.” He grinds out before latching onto my neck.
My nails dig into his shoulder blades, probably marring his tattoo, but I don’t care. He’s leaving his mark on my neck, and I’m leaving mine on his back.
Ayden shifts his legs wider and leans back a little, the new angle hitting a different spot, and after three thrusts, I’m screaming out in pleasure again before Ayden quickly pulls out and follows with his own release.
We are panting in exhaustion. Our bodies wrapped around each other, not willing to let go.
“Are you okay?” Ayden asks between breaths, and I nod.
“Ayden?”
“Yes, beautiful?”
“You’re mine,” I claim, and he pulls back to look at me.
“Fuck yeah I am.” He smiles before claiming my lips again.
After we pry ourselves away from each other, we use the shower to actually wash before drying off and moving the party to Ayden’s bed to cuddle. I like this part. It’s just as speci
al as the other part, I realise as we lay together, stroking hair, cheeks, arms, and entwining fingers. It’s almost as if we can’t help but touch each other.
We lay in a tangled mess, and my mind wanders to the last few days and the times Ayden and I have come together like a force of nature.
“Penny for your thoughts.”
I giggle at Ayden’s words. He used the same words when we were at his dad's, and I bargained the penny as a kiss instead. That’s when I got my first kiss from him.
“I feel older when I’m with you when it’s just the two of us. I can’t explain it, but I always feel like such a bratty teenager whose opinion doesn’t matter, but I feel like I matter when I’m with you. I feel like I’m relevant.”
Warm lips brush my shoulder. “Lex, you are the only thing that matters. You are what makes me relevant. You are everything.”
His words are raw and filled with emotion. My body needs him, my lips seeking his out to ease their craving. This connection we have is beyond anything I could have ever imagined experiencing with another person. It’s like my heart aches when he’s not close enough.
The whole thing fills me with overwhelming happiness, which just reminds me that there is still too much darkness chasing me, ready to drag me down. I need to start exorcising my demons, so I start with the one that I have a little more control over.
“I need to tell you something.” I blurt into the silence.
“You can tell me anything, Lex.” Ayden encourages, stroking his fingers up and down my arm.
“Travis Watson. My friend. You know the one the guys don’t think too highly of?”
“Yeah, the one that got done for the vandalism at school?” Ayden asks to confirm, not sounding too impressed.
My heart sinks. Shit. Shit. Shit. What if he thinks differently about me? What if it ruins what we have?
“Lex, you know you can tell me anything. No judgement here.” He can obviously sense my hesitation. “Just remember, you’re speaking to a drug addict who treated you in the worst way possible a few weeks ago. There’s nothing you can say that will make me think differently of you.”
Taking a deep breath, I nod and duck my head. I don’t want to see the disappointment in his eyes when I tell him this truth about me.
Deep (Heavy Hearts Book 2) Page 29