Lovers and Liars

by Josephine Cox

  Lizzie paused before embarking on the truth. ‘It could ’ave been different, lass,’ she murmured, ‘if only I hadn’t interfered.’

  ‘Now that’s silly talk, Lizzie. You mustn’t blame yourself.’ Aggie thought it a strange thing for the other woman to have said. ‘I don’t see how you could have changed anything,’ she said forthrightly. ‘Your John did a bad thing. He got my Emily with child, then went off and set up with some other woman. That wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have foreseen that, any more than I could.’

  Lizzie thought there was only one way to say it, and she did. ‘He did come back for his Emily. He loved her, y’see … still does, I reckon.’ She paused, knowing she would shock Emily’s mam with what she was about to divulge. ‘He didn’t go away on his own accord,’ she blurted out. ‘The letter I delivered to Emily was all a lie … there was no other woman. Y’see, it were me as sent him away.’

  ‘What?’ Aggie was suddenly bolt upright on the sofa. ‘What are you saying? I don’t understand. Why would he write that he’d found some other woman, if he hadn’t? And why did you send him away?’

  ‘It wasn’t easy, but he was shocked and hurt when he saw Emily with Danny and Cathleen. I lied to him. I told him they were happily married, that Cathleen was Danny’s child. I convinced him that going away was the only thing to do. I did it, because I didn’t want him taking on the responsibility of another man’s child.’ There! It was said and there was no going back.

  Aggie almost leaped out of her chair. ‘That’s nonsense and well you know it!’ Bearing in mind that the old woman was poorly, Aggie tried to keep calm. ‘Everybody knows the child was John’s.’

  Lizzie shook her head. ‘Gossip,’ she said. ‘Vicious gossip.’

  ‘Did John tell you that?’ Aggie asked angrily. ‘Did he claim he wasn’t the father?’

  ‘He thought the child was Danny’s.’

  Aggie was trying hard to keep control. ‘But why in God’s name would he think that?’

  ‘Because I told him so.’

  It was all too much for Aggie. Dropping back on the sofa, she said in a quiet voice, ‘Lizzie, tell me something, will you?’

  ‘That’s what I’m trying to do, lass.’

  ‘You’re saying that Cathleen is not John’s child, and that John believed Danny was the father. Have I got that right?’

  Lizzie nodded.

  ‘So John denied being the father, did he?’

  ‘He didn’t need to. I already knew he wasn’t.’

  ‘How could you possibly know that?’

  ‘Because Emily …’ Remembering her promise to the girl, she hesitated. Then: ‘Because your lass told me so herself. She made me promise I would never tell, but I reckon it’s time you knew the truth.’

  For a long, shocked moment, Aggie fell silent. Then she asked: ‘Is that the God’s honest truth? Emily told you herself that John was not the father?’

  ‘As God is my judge.’

  There was another long silence. Aggie simply could not understand why Emily should confess that to Lizzie, while all the time letting her own mother and family believe that John was Cathleen’s father. It was too upsetting. Moreover, it posed yet another question, which she had to ask. ‘So who is Cathleen’s father? Did she tell you that?’

  Lizzie shook her head. ‘No, lass. I did ask, but she wouldn’t tell me.’ Lizzie remembered the very day when Emily had cleared John of having got her with child. ‘All I know is, she stood in this very room and told me that John was not to blame. When I asked her who was the father, she sort of panicked.’ Lizzie recalled how Emily had rushed off, unwilling to stay and talk. ‘She seemed frightened – refused to be drawn on the matter, other than to clear John’s name.’

  Aggie leaped at the chance. ‘She could have been lying to protect him!’

  ‘No, lass. She was telling the truth. Besides, you know as well as I do that Emily is not given to lying.’

  Aggie was mortified. ‘You’re right. I’ve never known her to lie – about anything.’ She had another, more burning question. ‘You said she seemed frightened to talk. Are you sure about that?’

  ‘As sure as I can be, yes.’

  Now Aggie was out of her chair and pacing the room. Something had come into her mind and it was a terrifying thing. ‘God Almighty!’ She put her hand to her throat. ‘Oh, dear God Almighty!’

  Lizzie looked up to see an expression of sheer horror on Aggie’s face. ‘What’s wrong?’ she asked.

  Though her heart was beating too fast for her to breathe easily, Aggie tried to conceal her fear. ‘It’s nothing, Lizzie.’ She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes; instead it froze on her face like a mask. ‘It’s just that this whole thing has got me worried. Why didn’t Emily tell me? Why would she come to you instead of me? What reason would she have, and why did John desert her the way he did?’ The frantic questions tumbled out.

  ‘I already told you … it were me as persuaded him to go.’

  Aggie resumed her seat. ‘Look, Lizzie, I think you’d best tell me what happened, right from the minute she came through the door. I need you to tell me everything!’ she instructed. ‘Don’t leave out a single thing.’

  So Lizzie told her. She explained how John had saved almost every penny he’d earned while he was at sea. She revealed how he had come home that particular day. ‘Full of joy at being back and wanting to ask Emily if she would be his wife. Y’see, he had every intention of buying the debt from Clem Jackson and giving you back your farm.’

  ‘So why didn’t he stay?’

  Lizzie went on, more slowly now. Tears of remorse were gathering in her eyes. ‘As I recall, it was the child’s birthday. John was making his way across to your farm to see Emily, when he saw her … with Cathleen and Danny. They were laughing together, seemingly very happy in each other’s company. From the way the child ran to Emily, John could tell straight off that she was Emily’s. He didn’t know what to think, so he came to me, and I told him that Emily had cheated on him, and that Cathleen was the result.’

  She held nothing back, even though her voice shook with the shame of her confession. ‘I made him believe that Danny was the father, and that he was now wed to Emily, and they were very happy together.’

  ‘Oh no, Lizzie,’ Aggie breathed. She was heartbroken for her poor daughter. ‘You should never have done that. You should have let them talk.’

  ‘I know that now.’ As she spoke, the tears poured down Lizzie’s face. ‘I didn’t want him saddled with another man’s bairn. I was trying to protect him, you see? I was so angry with Emily. I thought she’d waited till his back was turned and let another man bed her. I thought she was little more than a trollop. Oh Aggie! What an old fool I am! It’s too late now. All too late.’

  Seeing her distressed like that, was deeply upsetting to Aggie.

  ‘No, Lizzie.’ She went and put her arms round the other woman’s shoulders. ‘You did right under the circumstances. Any other mother would have done the same. All you knew was what you could see with your own eyes, and John the same. Emily had a child and it was not John’s responsibility. What else could you think of her, but that she had cheated on him?’

  She could see now, how Lizzie might have sent John away with a lie. ‘Yes, you did right to send him away. I would have done the very same.’

  Lizzie brightened at Aggie’s brave words. ‘Would you, lass? Would you honestly?’

  ‘Yes. If it had been the other way round, I wouldn’t have thought twice.’ She gave Lizzie a hug. ‘Now then, stop your worriting. Let’s go through it all again, and we’ll see what we can come up with, eh?’

  At the back of her mind was the other thing.

  After what Lizzie had just told her, it tormented her now, like never before.

  Thankful for Aggie’s comforting words, Lizzie asked her to make another brew. ‘The tea’s gone cold, lass.’

  Later, they went through the story again, comparing notes.

  And the more she
learned about Emily’s predicament, the stronger grew Aggie’s terrible suspicions.

  Chapter 16

  ‘I’D BEST GIVE you a hand before we set off for the cottage.’ Having come into the barn to give Emily a kiss, Danny was concerned to see her lifting the heavy crates of vegetables. ‘You and Cathleen sort the cabbages while I stack these up against the wall.’

  Emily was grateful for the help, but said, ‘I thought you were in a hurry to get to the cottage?’

  ‘And so I am, but Lizzie’s in good hands with your mam.’ While he stacked the crates, he carried on talking. ‘This job won’t take but a few minutes. Besides, I wouldn’t be much of a man if I left my wife to stack these heavy crates.’

  ‘All right.’ Emily knew him well enough by now to realise that once Danny made up his mind, there was no changing it. ‘I suppose you’re right – two pairs of hands are better than one. Between us we’ll soon have it done.’

  And so they did.

  When the last crate was stacked, Danny grabbed Emily into his arms and looking into her brown eyes, whispered of how much he loved her.

  ‘You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,’ he said. ‘I know we got off to a shaky start, but now I can never imagine being without you.’

  When Emily gave no reply, he kissed her tenderly and holding her at arm’s length, told her how pretty she was.

  Emily smiled at that. ‘What? Covered in muck and looking like a scarecrow?’

  ‘All of that,’ he laughed, kissing her again. ‘Look, sweetheart, I’d best be off. Cathleen and I will be there in minutes. Though I’m sure, with your mam in charge, everything is fine and dandy up at the cottage.’

  ‘I hope so.’ Emily had never forgotten the time she had gone to Lizzie with the truth about John not being the father of her child. She hoped Lizzie would keep her promise and not say anything, because if her mam ever found out – well, she just didn’t dare think about the consequences.

  A moment later, Danny was walking across the fields towards the cottage, with Cathleen dancing along beside him, while Emily stood at the barn door watching them go. You’re a good man, Danny Williams, she thought. I don’t deserve you.

  Having passed the barn on his way to the bull-field, where he loved to admire the great beasts, Clem Jackson had seen Danny take Emily into his arms, and he was greatly excited by it. He still had fond memories of that day in the barn, when he had possessed the girl against her will.

  Now, leaning on the gate, his huge dog sitting obediently at his feet, he watched Danny leave. There seemed to be a lot happening this morning, he thought, with all this coming and going.

  ‘I expect it’s that damned old woman again!’ he said to the dog, which instinctively curved its back in fear. ‘You should have finished her off while you had the chance.’

  Prodding the cur with his cane, he snapped, ‘I’m going to find out what all the fuss is about. You just stay where you are!’ When he took a step away and the dog seemed about to follow him, he held the cane to its nose. ‘Badger – Stay!’ The animal immediately whined and skulked to the ground, its big frightened eyes uplifted to him.

  Grinning triumphantly, he stomped off and left it there.

  With Danny and Cathleen gone, Emily got on with her chores. She had swept the floor of the barn and was bagging the last of the cabbages when Clem’s hands gripped her shoulders. With a cry, she tried to turn but he held her there, one fist clutching both her hands behind her back, and the other squeezing her neck from the front, holding her in such a way that she couldn’t move. She couldn’t even kick out, because his legs were tight against hers, effectively pinning her to the wall.

  ‘Well, here we are again, my beauty,’ he growled. It was so good to touch her soft skin. ‘Been missing me, ’ave yer?’

  ‘Get your filthy hands off me!’ Momentarily frozen with shock, Emily hadn’t been sure who had taken hold of her. But she was sure now, and she was terrified.

  Clem swung her round and smacked the back of his hand hard across her mouth. ‘Careful how yer talk to me, lady,’ he warned, ‘unless you want a taste o’ my fist.’ As the blood trickled from the corners of her mouth, he leaned forward and licked at it with the tip of his tongue. Forcibly restraining her, he pushed his face close to hers, his mouth lolling open in a sinister kind of grin. ‘I’m sorry to have neglected yer, lass, only I’ve been that busy with my other women, I ain’t had much time for you. This past week or so, they seem to have deserted me – fickle creatures, women, don’t yer think? But I’m ’ere now, so you’ll be glad to know we can tek up where we left off.’

  Emily began desperately struggling. ‘ENOUGH, YOU BITCH!’ He raised his hand and slapped her round the head; chuckling when she fell at his feet, dazed and bleeding. ‘That’s better.’ Getting to his knees, he straddled her and began undoing his trouser-buttons. ‘Don’t go unconscious on me,’ he told her, breathing heavily, ‘I like my women to have a bit of life in ’em.’

  It was when she felt her skirt being lifted and his whole weight bearing down on her, that Emily seized her chance. Taking him by surprise, she kicked out and managed to clamber free from under him. By the time he realised what was happening and chased after her, drawing up his trousers as he went, Emily had got hold of the pitchfork and was ready for him. ‘Come on then!’ She was like a wild thing. ‘I’m ready for you now. Come on!’ Pointing the sturdy steel-pronged fork at his stomach, Emily would not have hesitated to use it.

  Unfortunately she did not allow for his cunning. In a swift movement, Clem stooped to grab a handful of dust from the heap she had swept on the barn floor and threw it into Emily’s face. As she reeled away, he darted forward.

  Half-blinded and still dazed from the beating he had given her, Emily ran. She couldn’t make for the door because he was blocking the way, so she scrambled upwards, into the hayloft, where she planned to drop down the outside shaft to the ground. She was halfway up the ladder when he seized her by the ankle. ‘Thought you could get away from me, did you?’ he panted.

  With superhuman effort, Emily managed to kick him away and jump down to the ground. Racing for the door, she thought she was safe. She even managed to get outside, but Clem was right behind her. ‘Oh no, yer don’t!’ Grabbing her round the waist, he carried her back inside, punching her in the face when she started shouting for help.

  ‘There’s no help,’ he snarled. ‘So you might as well keep still.’

  Having woken from his afternoon nap, Grandad had gone to the window in time to see Emily run from the barn. He saw Jackson come after her and he saw how bravely the lass tried to fight him off.

  Frantic with fear, he knew only too well what Clem had in mind. ‘Dear God Almighty!’ He began shouting, ‘AGGIE!’ When there was no response, he went to the door and opening it, yelled again: ‘AGGIE, FOR CHRISSAKE!’

  Taking the thick woolly jumper from the chairback he pulled it on over his nightshirt, then sliding his feet into his slippers, he started his awkward way down the stairs, calling as he went, ‘AGGIE! DANNY!’ He soon began to realise that he was the only one who could help. With that thought in mind he gathered a superhuman strength.

  He knew well enough where the shotgun was kept, for wasn’t he the one who some years before had built the cupboard to keep it safe?

  While this scene from Hell was being enacted in the dark cathedral of Potts End barn, another man, walking steadily towards the farm, believed himself to be approaching Heaven.

  Some distance away, oblivious to what was going on, Michael Ramsden covered the tracks to the farmhouse. ‘Home at last,’ he breathed. Pausing to view the familiar, beloved landscape he was filled with awe, wondering how he could ever have walked away from such a beautiful place and his precious family.

  Over the past ten years, he had known deprivation and despair; he had rummaged in filth for a bite to eat and thought many a time to end it all. But now, with John Hanley’s help he had regained his health and his self-respect; he had s
omething to live for. I’ve some making up to do now, he thought ashamedly, moving on. A terrible wrong to put right. There was no guarantee that they’d have him back. He dreaded meeting his father’s eye: was the dear old man still alive? And his young daughter was now a mother herself; he, a grandfather. As for Aggie, his wife … mere words were no good to explain the way he felt about her, and about what he had put her through.

  For a moment, Michael was tempted to sit and weep, but the strange peace of the place, and the hope within him, dried his tears. It was time for action. He needed his family. He needed to let them know how much he loved and missed them. As for Clem Jackson, it was more than time he faced him head to head, man to man … time it was all thrashed out, one way or another! He had never been so determined to rid himself and his family of the plague that was Jackson and now, thanks to John, he had the means to do it.

  As he pushed along, head bent and his heart alive with determination, Michael did not spot Aggie at first. But then, as he raised his head he saw her – and emotion clogged his throat. ‘Oh, my God … AGGIE!’ he cried, but no sound came out.

  She was closer to the farm than he was, and now as he called her name again, this time in a quivering cry, she went out of earshot, an urgent purpose in her gait as she pelted towards the back of the farmhouse and out of sight.

  His heart lifting at the sight of his precious woman, Michael also took to his heels and ran after her.

  In the barn, Jackson had Emily at his mercy. ‘Now then, my pretty, let’s ’ave no more trouble from yer.’ He knelt once again, rolled up her skirt, and revelled at the sight of her soft white thighs.

  ‘Don’t seem right that yon fool of a milkman should ’ave this all to himself, let alone striding around my farm as if he owns the bloody place. I’ll set the dog on him, I will,’ he said viciously, and reached forward to fondle her. His mood changed.

  ‘We made a good ’un in that daughter o’ yourn, didn’t we, eh? Growing up fast, she is – looks the image of her mammy. By! I wouldn’t be surprised if one dark night, I didn’t mistake her for you … if you know what I mean?’