by Lindsey Hart
Stripping out of a sopping wet t-shirt was easy enough, but his jeans were another story. Hector finally had to peel them down and turn them inside out to get them off. He pulled them off, one foot at a time and peeled off his wet boxers next. He wished he would have had the foresight to grab a towel out of the linen closet, but that was downstairs and so was the only bathroom in the house.
With a shrug, he retrieved fresh clothes. Being in something dry made him feel a hundred percent better. Seriously what the hell was I doing out in the rain? Not that he hadn’t been out in rain before, but that stuff out there, it was a downpour and had been all day.
Hector rifled through his shirts, trying to find something for Laney. He settled on a plain black cotton t-shirt. It was worn in and old, but it was soft. Probably the softest he owned.
He found her downstairs, in the kitchen. The farmhouse was old. It had never really been renovated, other than when it had power, gas and plumbing added. That had been way before his time. It had the old worn floorboards, the lacy curtains in the windows, the butcher block countertops and farmhouse sink that were making a comeback. The stove and fridge were ancient, again, so vintage that they were almost back in style. The furniture was old, oak. There was a round table with four chairs in the dining room, an ancient hutch and an even older china cabinet with blue and white dishes.
Laney was standing at the counter washing dishes. She pretty much had them done when Hector entered the kitchen.
“You didn’t have to do that,” he protested. It was more than a little humiliating that she’d come over and cleaned up after him like he was five years old.
“It’s fine. Washing a few dishes never hurt anyone.”
Hector inhaled deeply. The smell of coffee brewing never failed to be comforting. He’d been drinking back the thick dark brew since he was probably ten years old and started really working with his grandfather outside. It was the first thing he smelled in the morning and the last thing at night. His grandma always kept a pot going at all hours.
“That smells really good.” Homey. It hit him like he’d just been run down and trampled on by one of the cows they used to farm, that he really liked having Laney there. She looked- god, she looked perfect in the kitchen. Like she belonged. She didn’t feel like a stranger at all.
To cover up whatever was showing on his face, and he really didn’t know how much was written there, Hector sidestepped over to the cupboard. He pulled down two mugs.
“I take sugar, if you have it. Cream would be nice too.”
He didn’t turn around. Just got down the sugar pot out of the cupboard and retrieved the cream from the fridge. He poured two mugs but left them both black. He wouldn’t attempt to make hers. He’d probably just screw it up.
When he finally looked at her, he found that she was already studying him. She stood by the sink, the last of the dishes done and piled high on the drainboard, soap suds dripping from her hands.
“I have that t-shirt for you.” Hector grabbed the thing off the counter where he’d set it down.
Laney reached out and took it. She turned it over in her hands before she brought it to her face and inhaled. She lowered it quickly, blushing furiously. “Sorry. I have this habit about smelling everything. I don’t know why I just did that. Second nature I guess.”
Hector was instantly hard again. And then Laney unbuttoned and stripped off the plaid shirt she had on. Mercifully, she had a blank tank top on underneath that stayed in place. She threw her shirt aside on the counter and shrugged into his.
God, she looks good like that. She looks… There really weren’t any words. He’d never had a woman in his kitchen before, at least not one he was interested in. Dates didn’t usually get that far for him. When he did go out, he’d gone to the city every single time. He was glad that Laney was the first. A woman his grandma would have liked. An old soul. A tender soul.
It almost made him glad he was putting the farm up for sale. When it came right down to it, he didn’t need anything to be right or feel right. He was far from having his own shit together and he didn’t need to throw another variable into the mix. So, right as it felt, he’d offer Laney a cup of coffee, hear her out and then make it pretty obvious that no matter how it felt, feelings weren’t to be trusted, and it wasn’t right.
CHAPTER 13
Laney
Hector was different in his own house than he was in hers. He was more at peace. He sat easy on one of the scarred antique chairs, his mug of coffee steaming on the table in front of him.
Laney sat across from him, not too close and not too far away. So far, they’d stayed that way for a few minutes, each just content to sip at their coffee. She’d warmed up by doing the dishes. The hot soapy water helped banish the chill that the rain created, but the coffee was homey and strong. It was just what she needed.
Finally, she figured she’d break the comfortable silence and get into what she really needed to say. He was probably wondering why she was even there, although he’d been a gentleman and invited her in. She couldn’t tell if he was just trying to be nice, the way his grandparents probably brought him up, or if it was more than that.
Laney set her mug down a little too hard and that brought Hector’s head up. Their eyes locked. “I’m sorry for how I reacted the other night. I don’t even know what happened. I tried to talk it out with my best friend, but there really isn’t an excuse. I guess you were right in what you said. It’s just- baggage that made me react that way. I haven’t really been treated that nicely by men in the past. I’ve actually done a lot of thinking and soul searching and working on myself over the years and I thought I was over that for the most part. I really do appreciate what you did. I’m sorry I couldn’t take you for your word when you said you were just trying to behave like a gentleman.”
Hector glanced away, back down at his mug. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and Laney’s stomach fell. I knew it. He really was just blowing me off. He doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want any of this… She shoved her chair back and stood. As she did so, she banged her knee on the underside of the table. Her eyes watered, but she refused to let the tears fall.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “It’s probably better that I just go.”
Hector stood just as quickly. He reached out and grabbed her arm. His fingers curled around her bare skin and a shiver raced up her spine. Her heart kicked up into her throat. All it took was that simple touch to start the whole slow burn all over again.
“No.”
“No? Why not? You clearly think this is a stupid idea. I came here to apologize, and I am sorry for how I acted. It is pretty clear to me that you were just trying to blow me off, so I’ll save you the trouble. It’s alright. I’m not going to act crazy again. You can just be straight with me. Really.”
Hector heaved a sigh. His fingers slowly unfurled, and she was more than a little disappointed. “I wasn’t trying to blow you off. It’s hard to explain to you, just what it is exactly that’s going on with me, because I don’t even know. Maybe that’s why you got mixed signals and got mad. I have no idea.”
“So, you don’t want me to leave? Is it okay that I’m here? Really okay?”
“Yes. Sit down. Finish your coffee.”
She remained standing. “Hector- what… what are we doing?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. You came into my life at the worst possible time. I have no one. My grandparents are gone. I have to sell the farm. I don’t know where I’m going after. You’re right when you said I was lonely. I’ve been lonely for a long time. I just don’t feel right about dragging you down with me.”
“So, you’re trying to be chivalrous?”
“I- I don’t know. I didn’t feel right the other night about just- just taking that from you. Even if we were both lonely, I was raised…” he swallowed thickly. He glanced away, embarrassed. “I was raised that it should mean something. Or at least, that both people know what they’re in it for. If I don’t even k
now myself, how could I expect you to know me? You might have known what you wanted, maybe we both did, but I was worried after…” He looked at her again, pleading, eyes begging her to understand.
“I think- maybe you were right. It might have made things awkward. If you really want to get to know someone, maybe it is best to wait a little and not just react on- lust.” It was her turn to blush. Her body heated and it wasn’t entirely from embarrassment. Her gaze fell to Hector’s mouth and she knew without a doubt that if he wanted to kiss her again, she damn well would let him.
“I told you, I’m old school. I might be backwoods for real. People have called me a lot of things and they’re probably right. I was raised by my grandparents. They were from a different generation. I dated and- uh- stuff, but I always went to the city. It made it hard, the distance. Most of that didn’t last longer than a few months. People couldn’t stand it. I was trying to commit, but I had limited time and I was reluctant to bring them back here to the farm.”
“Why?”
“Mostly because my grandparents wouldn’t have approved. They knew that I didn’t hold with all that saving it for marriage stuff that they would have liked. It would have just been awkward. And then my grandpa died, and I was busy with the farm and then my grandma got sick. There weren’t many people in between.”
“Are you worried about being chivalrous or about being rusty?” Hector’s lips parted and Laney giggled. “That was a joke. Seriously. I’m just kidding. Don’t answer that.”
“Laney…” Hector exhaled hard. He grabbed his mug and gulped back coffee. He set it down after and swiped the back of his hand across his mouth. “I don’t know what I want. I said I’m a mess. I don’t have anything to offer at the moment. I’m broke. I can’t even keep my grandparent’s farm. I sold off their things. Emotionally, I’m a wreck. I’m closed off. I’m guarded. I don’t know how to open up. I was raised by two people who never did any of that. They loved me, but they weren’t from a generation that actually said it. I’m used to hard work. I’m used to being out here on my own. I’m nearing thirty and I’ve never left the farm. I’m not much good for anything. I have nothing other than a high school education. I would never be able to take care of you the way you deserve. I have no idea what I’m even doing with you here. I keep telling myself to let you go and you keep coming back into my life.”
“Take care of me?” Laney chose to focus on that statement. “What do you mean take care of me?” She nearly laughed. “I think I have that part under control. I have a marketing degree. I am part owner of a business. I have my own property, my own vehicle. I’m not drowning in debt. I think I’ve done alright for myself. I’m not looking for someone to take care of me.”
Hector stared at her, flustered. He ran a hand through his still damp hair. “Do you know how embarrassing that would be? If…”
“If what? If I made more money than you? If I had a job and you didn’t? If I had a place and you were renting? Who cares about any of that? Why should it even matter? Because I’m a woman?”
“I’m sorry,” Hector mumbled. “I was just raised, well, different than you were.”
“So other than your protests about being soon to be homeless and out of work, what do you have against us giving this a try?”
He stared at her, obviously shocked. “Didn’t you just hear anything I said?”
“Yeah, I did. But maybe you’re thinking about it all wrong. All my life I’ve waited to meet this Mr. Right. I believed in the romantic notion of love. I used to be so ridiculous. I wanted all those things to happen, but I didn’t want to work for it. Over time, I just met so many bad apples. I had so many shitty experiences. I got so jaded, it was the exact opposite. I didn’t even think love was real. My parents are still married, but I don’t know that many people who still are. My best friends are in good relationships though, and no matter how much I wanted that for myself I kind of gave up believing it would happen. And then- I met you. And I can’t explain it. It’s so weird. I just knew you were different.”
“Oh, I’m different alright.”
“You know what I mean.” Laney rolled her eyes. “By the way, I went through all that furniture. Right before I drove here. There was nothing in it. I was right. I picked the one piece that had that box. Did you look in it yet?”
“No. I want to…”
“I get it. See, we have way more in common than you think. I would do the same thing. If I’d been waiting my entire life to find a box like that and then I got it dropped in my lap- I wouldn’t be able to open it either. I’d have a few sleepless nights. I’d brood about it. I’d brood some more. I’d overthink it. I’d make myself so agitated, it would take me days to calm down. And then I’d still have a hundred reasons not to open it.”
Hector cracked a smile. He leaned back in his chair. “Oh lord.” He blinked hard. “Sorry. That just slipped out.”
“It’s alright.”
“My grandma would have been horrified at me. My grandpa would have taken me outside and told me sternly to mind my language in front of ladies.”
“If you had the money, would you choose to stay here?” She could tell her question hurt him and she wanted to take it back. To her surprise, he actually answered. The authenticity, the absolute lack of deception or guile was astounding. She’d never met anyone in her life that she didn’t know well who would give her a straight answer.
“Of course. My grandfather was born here. I feel like I’m betraying them by selling the place.”
“You can’t find work around here?”
“Most places aren’t hiring. They have their own staff or it’s a family operation. The city is too far to think about commuting and even if it wasn’t, I don’t know what I’d do there.”
“So, your main objection to this, after thinking about it, is that you’re on the verge of some major change and you don’t like it and you think that because of that, you can’t be with anyone.”
“I think I wouldn’t be much good to anyone.”
“I think you’d be better than you know.”
“I think the exact opposite.”
Laney crossed her arms. “Well, what if I said I didn’t want you to the chivalrous? What if I said that I can look after myself. What if we had an agreement that we just take it from here and see where it goes? You could never be a burden. I can tell that about you right now. You’re not the kind of person who just gives up.”
“Laney… I know you might think all the signs are there, but that still doesn’t make it right. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t make you happy.”
“Oh really?” She had to smile. “You know it for a fact?”
“Yes. I know it for a fact.”
“And when you kissed me? Did you feel it? Did it feel right? Did it feel amazing? Do you feel that crazy energy whenever we’re in the same room? Have you ever felt that with another person? Because I do feel it. And I haven’t. And those are facts too.”
“Feelings can’t always be trusted.”
“Tell me something I don’t know. I have a few more facts for you. I don’t always trust my feelings, but I do trust this. I trust that I’d regret it if I never saw you again. I trust that I’d probably always wonder if there could have been something special if I was willing to try. I also know that might sound corny or cheesy. Maybe that’s a fact. I also know that I want you to kiss me. I want it more than anything I’ve ever wanted before. That’s a fact, not a feeling.”
“It sounds an awful lot like a feeling.”
“Tell me you don’t want it too.”
“You know I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t. What if-”
“What if what? We try it and it doesn’t work out? We get hurt? We become a real mess, just like you said?” She shrugged. “I guess it’s no different than anything else I’ve tried. What’s one more?”
Hector’s lips had been pulled back in a thin, hard line, but they slowly shifted upwards. He rolled his eyes and leaned further back in his ch
air. “I give up then. I give up, Laney McLean. You’ve worn me down. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Don’t blame me for hurting you when this goes south. Don’t expect much and you might not be disappointed.”
“Here is also a fact.” Laney charged forward, sensing victory. “I want to taste your bad coffee breath almost as bad as I want you to taste mine.”
“I’m not much good for anything right now,” Hector protested. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
“I hear that loud and clear,” Laney admitted. “And I’m telling you, I’m an adult. I might have been a mess the other night too, but that’s over. I know what I’m getting myself into. I’ll have no one to blame, but me. So, will you please just kiss me already? Because I have another fact for you. If you don’t, I am going to die.”
Hector laughed. The gruff burst of sound filled up the kitchen. It was dark and manly and sounded rough because he hadn’t done it often enough and it was rusty with disuse. “Well we can’t have that, can we?” He sobered for a second. “I’ve lost enough people in my life. No matter how bad it is for both of us, I don’t want to lose you either.”
His honesty broke her heart. Laney was done waiting. She shoved out of her chair. Hector stood abruptly. They banged into each other, bone on bone, knee on thigh, rough, hard, searching, burning up, eager. His arms closed around her and she tipped her head, nearly crashing her jaw into his as he brought his face to hers. Nearly, but not quite. And then, mess or not, his lips crushed hers in the kiss she’d begged for.
CHAPTER 14
Hector
Hector’s hands closed around Laney’s shoulders. He was gentle with his touch but brutal in his kiss. He couldn’t control it. He’d spent days thinking about the kiss at her house, sure he wasn’t going to see her or experience that again. He bruised her lips and she responded in kind. Her hands tangled at his neck, pulling him into her or her into him. He wasn’t sure which. Their teeth clashed together more than once. His tongue slipped into her mouth and hers pushed back.