Waterborn (The Emerald Series Book 1)

by Kimberly James

  “I’ll catch up,” Jeb said as he patted me on the back.

  I didn’t look back to watch. I had seen Jeb in action plenty of times. The same old chorus of giggles. One of them always brave enough to say, “Look how long it is.” Followed by “Can I touch it?” Referring to his hair, of course.

  I rolled my eyes, glad to see Erin and Ally sitting at one of the outdoor tables. I might have kept walking had I seen Jax sooner. As it was, by the time I caught sight of him, I was already sliding onto the bench across from Erin. Jax didn’t just walk; he strutted. Coffee in each hand, he made sure everyone saw him coming and going. Jax suffered from big fish in a small pond syndrome—too cool for his own good.

  My first reaction to seeing him was to pummel him into the ground. But there were little kids around, and knowing Jax and his daddy like I did, that would probably get me arrested. So would stealing one of his dolphins, but I had no worries on that account.

  Beads of sweat pebbled his forehead. I imagined his eyes darting about behind the dark lenses of his glasses. We didn’t acknowledge each other when he walked up and placed the coffees on the table.

  “Thanks, baby,” Ally said, sliding one over to Erin.

  “Hey, Noah,” Erin quipped while pouring a packet of sugar in her cup.

  Jax still stood over Ally’s shoulder as though he were trying to decide whether or not to sit down. I’d just made up his mind for him. Ally and I nodded at each other over the table. I liked her well enough, just not when she was with Jax. She was too good for him. She was pretty, and smart, and athletic. I guess for a certain type of girl, Jax held a certain appeal. He was from a wealthy family, had all the right stuff, if stuff was your thing, and somewhere under that stupid visor he always wore was a working brain because he’d managed to be salutatorian. It still didn’t change the fact that he was a first-class jerk.

  “What’s up?” I said to Erin, hoping Jax would go away.

  “How is she?” Jax asked, missing the hint, and for a second I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me. And then I wasn’t sure if he was talking about Caris or Ellie. I picked Caris. It was his boat she’d been dumped off of, after all.

  “She’d be better if you would stay the hell away from her.” I leveled my eyes on his. God, I wanted to tear those expensive sunglasses off his face so he could clearly see I was not jerking him around.

  “That wasn’t me.” He stuffed one hand into the pockets of his khaki shorts, his platinum watch gleaming in the sun. What nineteen-year-old wore a watch like that? “Your boy Sol is out of control.”

  “Funny, he says the same about you.” I gave him a cold dismissive look.

  “Maybe those two should just do it already.” Jeb sauntered up behind Jax, bright pink Icees in tow, elbowing his way to the table as if Jax weren’t standing there. He took a long sip from his straw then looked up at Jax. “Really, you and Sol would look cute together.”

  Jax ignored him, talking over his head at me. “And what about Ellie?”

  “Better.” It was all I could offer. I didn’t want to talk to Jax about her either.

  “Good. We just sold her.” He waited a beat for me to react. It took all my self-control not to. “She’ll be out of here by the end of next week.” He smirked at me.

  The pummeling was sounding like an increasingly good idea.

  “Sold her? To who?”

  That’s how Jax rolled. He took things that didn’t belong to him then sold them for a profit and acted like he was some genius wheeler-dealer when he was nothing but a thief. No doubt he had made a tidy little sum off my hair.

  “Casino in Biloxi.”

  Smug-faced bastard. I looked at Jeb but his eyes were focused on Ally. They were engaged in a staring match.

  Jax bent down, kissing Ally on the cheek. “See you later, baby.”

  “See ya.” Ally waved over her shoulder but she never took her eyes off Jeb.

  “Hey, Big Al,” Jeb said, slurping Icee through his straw. Ally had gone through a rather pudgy stage in middle school and Jeb still liked to tease her about it.

  “Are you talking to me, Cousin It?” Ally had this smile that she always reserved just for Jeb. It wasn’t so much a smile as a sneer.

  “Can’t you come up with something more original than that? That’s hardly even an insult,” he said.

  “Can’t you?” Ally countered.

  “If the shoe fits.”

  “What would you know about shoes? You don’t ever wear any,” Ally shot back.

  “Just to let you know,” Erin chimed in, glaring at Jeb before looking at me, “we’re borrowing your girlfriend tonight.”

  “What’s gong on?” I didn’t correct her on the girlfriend thing. Caris was a girl. We were friends in that I couldn’t quit thinking about her and obsessing over how it had felt to have her body gliding over mine when I’d taken her swimming.

  “Concert on the green. The Boggy Boys. You can come if you want.”

  I’d heard of the Boggy Boys. They were a local band and drew a pretty big crowd. I wasn’t big on crowds. “I’ll probably sit this one out,” I said.

  “You can’t,” Ally said pointedly to Jeb after knocking Erin in the shoulder.

  “Aren’t you bored with that tightass yet?” Jeb nodded at Jax, who had stopped to talk to one of the employees. “He’s wearing slippers.”

  “They’re not slippers. They’re loafers. You should try them sometime. Your feet are disgusting.”

  “You don’t really think that do you, Big Al? I’ve always wondered how you do it. How do you keep from screaming my name when you’re with him? I mean, our names are so close and all.”

  Ally jumped and glared under the table, lip curling back over her teeth in disgust. “Get those things off me. God, you’re just gross.”

  Jeb rested his elbows on the table and made a big show of studying her like she had posed a question. “Or maybe you haven’t let him in at all and you’re saving yourself for me.”

  “I hate you.” She picked up her coffee, ripped off the lid and threw it at him. Most of it landed on his shirt. Some of it splattered on my arm. “Sorry, Noah.”

  “No problem.” I barely held in my laugh. Ally, the one girl on the whole coast immune to Jeb’s charms.

  Jeb pasted on a shit-eating grin, making a big show of pulling his shirt over his head and using it to wipe his face. Ally flushed bright red. “Anytime you’re ready, Al. I can rock your world.”

  The three of us watched Ally storm off. Jeb stared after her with this complete no-tell expression. Erin glared at Jeb. I sat there wondering what the hell was going on.

  “That was bad, even for you, Jeb,” Erin said.

  “What? She’s a bitch.” Jeb balled his shirt in his fist.

  “You basically just called her fat.”

  “No I didn’t.” He scowled at her from across the table. “She knows she’s not fat.”

  “You are so clueless.” Erin shook her head. “You don’t know anything about her.”

  “Well, I know I can’t stand her.” Jeb pushed up from the table, red blotches forming on his face under the smeared coffee.

  “Yeah, right,” she said to Jeb’s retreating back as he took off in the opposite direction from Ally.

  “What?” I raised my eyebrow at her, slurping at the rim of my cup.

  “You know what they say; the opposite of love is indifference. And those two are far from indifferent.”

  “Isn’t that a song?” So that’s where I had gone wrong. I should have sworn to be indifferent to Caris. I’d doomed myself from the beginning.

  “Now that all the juveniles are gone, let’s talk. I’ve been wanting to ask you about something.” Erin twirled her cup, sloshing the liquid inside. She pushed those big bugged-eyed sunglasses over her hair, her brow furrowed.

  So this was serious then. We’d been friends before she and Jamie got together, before she’d understood we were different. She was the kind of girl who would stand out from the crow
d in a room full of tens. Still, we’d always just been friends and it had never occurred to me to want to be anything more. Then she’d become family and I guess she always would be.

  “Okay. I’m listening.” I kicked back on the bench.

  “I was thinking about going back to school for senior year. I already talked to Coach Hall. They would take me back on the team.” Her eyes remained steady on my face, and I could tell she was trying to read my reaction. Which was hell no.

  I gulped the last of my Icee. “Wow. You sure you want to do that?”

  “I’m just thinking about it.” She turned her head toward the Gulf and her lips parted on a sigh.

  My eyes followed hers. I knew it was still hard for her. Sometimes I half expected to see him come wading out of the surf myself.

  “You know I loved Jamie more than anything. But I want to start over. Be a teenager again.”

  Erin had dropped out of school after Jamie and had given up a chance to play college volleyball. She was that good. Sixteen and pregnant wasn’t that big of a deal anymore, but sixteen and pregnant with another species would get you ridiculed and bullied and threatened around here. I couldn’t count the number of fights Jamie ended up in defending her honor once the rumors started flying. Hell, I’d gotten into a few of my own. A part of me was surprised she was even thinking about going back into that shark tank. And honestly, I didn’t think it was a good idea.

  “I know what you’re thinking. But people have been pretty nice to me for the most part since, well, since everything.” Her eyes got all watery. “I just want some normal teenager stuff. I need some normal teenager stuff. I miss some of it. I miss the team.”

  “What does your dad say?”

  “I haven’t talked to him about it yet. My mom says it’s up to me. But you know how he is. He’s not going to like the idea.”

  No he wasn’t. Marshall, the control freak, was protective to a fault, especially of Erin. And maybe Marshall and I were in agreement there. But this was in no way my call. We both had to move on, and if this was the way she chose to do it, I would support her.

  “Well, what do you think?” She had the biggest soulful eyes and they were looking at me like my opinion really mattered to her. Like she thought if she could get my blessing it would be the same as getting Jamie’s. I knew better. We were too different.

  “I think you should do whatever will make you happy. And if you want to play high school again, I’ll even come to some of your games and cheer you on.”

  Her shoulders slumped in clear relief. “Thanks, Noah. Happy still seems far away, but this might be a step in the right direction.”

  I sure hoped so. It made me wonder what direction my own happy was in. I was pretty sure it pointed to Caris.

  * * *

  Turned out, I was going to have to step in some more shit before I found my happy.

  When I got home, Marshall’s SUV was parked in my driveway, along with Maggie’s twenty-year-old Mercedes. Our family had a thing for the classics. And I thought, as I walked in the side door, this had the potential to be a classic confrontation. I was spoiling for one and had been ever since I’d seen Marshall at the Fish House. I should have done what I did then and walked away. But this was my house, and as far as I was concerned, he wasn’t welcome here anymore.

  They were all in the kitchen, my mom, Maggie, and Marshall, eating homemade ice cream like it was the fourth of July. The electric churner sat on the counter, humming its cranky tune. Marshall reclined in his chair, feet propped up on the seat beside him. An empty bowl sat in front of him on the table and his hand was curled around a Stella perched on his knee. I couldn’t even say for sure why it made me so angry, seeing the three of them together, laughing and making jokes. Maybe because it felt like the old days and I knew those days were long gone. Marshall sat in the same chair where my dad would have, and I sure as hell didn’t like the way he kept looking at my mom. She had her hair down and wore a pair of cut-off denim shorts and a plain white t-shirt, and he was smiling at her like my dad used to. I’d never seen Marshall smile like that. An alarm went off in my head, as if I needed another reason to distrust Marshall.

  I didn’t even consider I might be acting paranoid. “What is he doing here?”

  “Noah.” My mom’s eyes lit up and she hopped down from where she’d been sitting on the counter top, dropping her spoon on the floor. Why was she so nervous?

  “Maggie made some ice cream. Banana, your favorite.” She was definitely nervous, stumbling over her words. Sometimes Maggie put some strange shit in her ice cream, but it smelled like plain old banana to me.

  “Yeah. Why is he here?” I jerked my head at Marshall. He had put his feet down and was eyeing me with those freaky eyes of his. When I saw Marshall all I could think about was that last day I’d seen Jamie. I’d begged to go with him. I’d insisted it didn’t matter that I wasn’t eighteen. What difference would a week make? I was ready. Jamie had slapped me on the shoulder and said, “I’ll see you when I see you.” The same words our dad used when he had to leave. His way of avoiding goodbye. Except I hadn’t seen him again.

  And here sat Marshall, in my kitchen, looking at my mom like he wanted…

  “Noah. There’s no reason to be like that.” My mom started spooning out a bowl of ice cream I assumed was for me. Did she really expect me to eat a bowl of ice cream with him here? Like nothing had happened? Like nobody had died?

  “Isn’t there?” I swung my gaze around and met her reprimand. I knew I should bite my tongue, but the words tumbled out anyway because letting Levi kick the shit out of me hadn’t been enough. I was still stewing for a fight and I wanted it to be with Marshall. “Are you sleeping with Marshall?”

  “Noah!” Maggie’s voice cut with warning.

  I watched my mom’s face fall and congeal in an expression of utter and total disappointment. That’s the look I had been waiting for since I’d gotten back, the one I’d been expecting. The one I deserved. I barreled over a chair and grabbed Marshall by the neck of his collared shirt. He smelled like bananas and beer, and I had never wanted to hit someone so bad in my life.

  “Stop it, Noah.”

  I heard my mom’s voice but it was like a voice on the TV or the radio, too far away to ever stop me.

  “Leave my mom alone, you son of a bitch.” I shoved him away from me. Spit ran over my chin. He fell against the wall and held his hands up, rolling over like some sorry-ass dog. Coward. For all that he was, some kind of Special Forces has-been, he was still only human. It was so fleeting, but I saw it, the tiniest hint of his fear. The only way he could stop me was if he pulled that gun out of its holster. My chest swelled with satisfaction before it was drowned out by self-loathing. This was all so wrong. What I was doing was so wrong, but my dad blowing to bits on some oilrig was all wrong. Jamie dying for some worthless intel was all wrong. Somewhere in the far-off background my mom was telling me to back off.

  “Noah, son. I know…”

  I grabbed Marshall with both fists. “I’m not your son. You are not my dad. You can’t come in here and take his place. I won’t let you.” It felt good when my fist smashed into his face. I saw my mom move out of the corner of my eye, but it was too late. I had already cocked my arm back to hit Marshall again and my elbow smacked right into her face, slamming into her cheek. The impact of it shocked my arm and knocked her to the floor.

  “Noah!” Maggie’s shrill scream paralyzed me.

  Before I could even turn around, Marshall was on me. He had me bent over the kitchen table, arm twisted behind my back at an angle that would have snapped an ordinary human’s arm in two. I couldn’t move. I didn’t even try. I was in shock. My head was plastered to the table, cheek digging into the wood. I stared at my mom through the curtain of hair that had fallen over my face.

  “Lara, are you all right?” Maggie bent over and helped my mom off the floor.

  My mom held her hand over her cheek, glaring at me with my brother’s eyes. Ma
rshall hauled me up and shoved me across the kitchen away from my mom, then planted himself between us as though I would actually hurt her on purpose. I looked past him. He didn’t matter anymore. My mom’s cheek was bright red where I had hit her. I thought I might be sick.

  “You better get your shit together, Noah,” Marshall spat, pointing his finger at me.

  My head felt heavy as I shook it back and forth in silent denial. I zeroed in on the tip of his finger in a surreal moment of disbelief. I had hurt my mom. I couldn’t find the door fast enough. I made it to the beach before I doubled over and puked in the sand.

  What the hell was wrong with me? It must be raining. Something wet ran down my face.

  “Noah?”

  I squeezed my eyes shut when I heard my mom say my name, as though she was the sorry one, as though she was the one falling apart. Why wouldn’t she yell at me? Why wouldn’t she strike out at me? Why couldn’t I have died instead of Jamie? He would have been better for her. He could have taken care of her.

  “What is this about, Noah? Do you want me to tell you to go? Send you back to the Deep? Let her have you once and for all?”

  “No.” I paced back and forth through the sand, my hands cradled at the back of my head, eyes toward the sky. My chest burned, my lungs burned, each breath like breathing fire.

  “Well, that’s good. Because I won’t give you up too. We’ve lost too much. I’ve lost too much. You can push me away and Maggie and even Marshall, but none of us are going anywhere. Least of all me. You’re all I’ve got left.”

  A strange sound came out of my throat, a strangled denial. Why couldn’t she have stayed away? Why couldn’t she have left me to the Deep?

  “You have to let go of all this anger, Noah. It won’t bring them back. And it’s taking you away from me.”

  “I can’t.” I’d held on to it for so long, I didn’t know how to make myself let go.

  “Why? Because then you’ll have to deal with the guilt?”