aterovis_bleedinghearts.pm6

by Arlene Chance

  But as much as I love you I don’t think I could take getting dumped on again. Why am I never enough for you?”

  I reached out and gently wiped the tears from his soft cheeks.

  “Because I was stupid and confused; I didn’t see what was right in front of my eyes. I won’t be gone tomorrow or the day after that, the day after that, or ever again.

  There won’t be anyone else. What I’m trying to say is...you are enough. You are all I want — now and forever. You complete me.”

  Asher let out a muffled sob as he collapsed into my arms. I felt my knees buckle as well. I felt physically drained, as if I’d run a marathon. I steered us over to his bed and lowered us onto it. We wrapped ourselves around each other and I held him until he fell asleep.

  Once I was sure he was in a deep enough sleep, I slipped out from under him and with a soft kiss on the lips, I left him for the night. I had a lot on my mind on the drive home.

  * * *

  For Asher and me, the next month passed by in a haze that only those who have experienced those first few intoxicating weeks of a new love could understand. Nothing else seemed to matter or if it did, it was only in 247

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  the abstract, as if everything was far removed from us.

  Oh, I kept up with the developments on Seth and Zack’s murders, but that was about it. And even though the police were now taking both killings very seriously, those developments seemed to be few and far between.

  They insisted that they were still examining the evidence and that they were confident that they would find the killer.

  Jake hadn’t talked to me much since I’d told him about Asher and me. After a lot of talking and consideration, Asher and I decided to come out at school. We didn’t make a big production or really change how we acted, but we told our close friends and let the word spread from there. For the most part, no one really seemed to care. In fact, several people who I would have never expected to had gone out of their way to let us know that they supported us. Gilly was still pretending I didn’t exist, but two of her closest friends made a point of showing that they were behind Asher and me 100%.

  Not that everything was a fairy tale — no pun intended.

  There were still a few jerks that would make crude comments under their breath every time one of us walked by, and more than a few incidents of name calling, but as Adam said, what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger. And as time went on and it became obvious that our supporters outnumbered our detractors, those incidents became more and more infrequent.

  All in all, I felt worse for Jesse than for Asher and me.

  I had seen him a few times wondering through the halls, looking as if he was lost. I felt myself actually feeling sorry for him. I know Zack was the real brains behind their dynamic duo — what little brains there were —

  and I was sure that Jesse must have really been missing him. I didn’t let myself dwell on it too much, though; after all, he had made my life a living hell and had beaten the crap out of Asher. And besides, I had more impor-248

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  tant things to worry about, like how much I loved Asher...and seeing my mom again.

  Thanksgiving was only a week away, and I was beginning to get very excited. Mom was planning on coming down for a big Thanksgiving feast that Adam and Steve had been planning for weeks already. Besides those of us who lived in the house and Mom, we were also expecting a few other couples who didn’t have families or whose families were either too far away or not exactly welcoming.

  It was the Saturday before Thanksgiving and after much begging and nagging, Adam had finally agreed to let Asher and me drive to Rehoboth Beach and do a little early Christmas shopping. The outlets there have all the best stores: Gap, Old Navy, Pacific Sunwear, and hundreds more. The only stipulation was that we had to be home before dark.

  We had a great day of goofing off and we even did a little shopping. We would have made it home in plenty of time, too, if Asher hadn’t suddenly had one of his brainstorm ideas.

  “Hey, let’s go home the back way!” he suggested out of the blue.

  “I don’t know the way,” I argued.

  “I do, and besides, it’ll give us more time to spend together. We’ve got plenty of time.”

  So of course I agreed. Two hours later, we were hopelessly lost, I was tired and cranky, my gas gauge was riding dangerously close to empty, and the sun was riding dangerously close to the horizon. My teeth were gritted so hard my jaw was beginning to ache, and it had been a while since Asher had tried to say anything.

  Suddenly I started to recognize our surroundings.

  “I think this is near where Jake and Gilly live. I’m going to try to find their house and call Adam from there.”

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  “I dunno, Kill,” Asher said uneasily, “You and I aren’t exactly their favorite people right now. It may not be such a good idea to just show up on their doorstep.”

  “We don’t really have much choice. I’m not sure I can make it to the gas station, and it’s almost dark. If we run out of gas somewhere, I want Adam to know where we are, and if I don’t call him and it gets dark before we get home we won’t be allowed to go anywhere alone again until we’re eighteen.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said weakly.

  “Let’s go the back way,” I snapped in agitation.

  “Geez,” Asher pouted, “I said I was sorry. I thought I knew the way. You don’t have to get nasty. You could have said no, you know.”

  I pulled into the Sheridans’ driveway with my jaw set again. I threw the car into park and jumped out, slamming the door behind me. Asher stayed in the car, staring straight ahead with his arms crossed over his chest.

  I stalked up to the door and knocked.

  Of course, Todd answered.

  “I thought we’d gotten rid of you, fag,” he snarled when he saw who it was.

  I tried not to, but I couldn’t help but flinch. “Nice to see you again, too, Todd.” I quipped, hoping to seem as if he hadn’t got to me. “Look, I’m sorry to bother you but can I please use your phone?” I hated to have to ask him anything and almost just went back to the car, but I could feel Asher watching me and I was damned if I was going to go running back like a puppy with its tail between its legs.

  “You want to use our phone?” he said incredulously.

  “I’m almost out of gas and I need to call Adam.”

  “Who is it, Todd?” Mrs. Sheridan called from down the hall.

  “It’s Killian,” Todd said, as if he was telling her there was a dead rat on the front step.

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  “Well, for goodness’ sake,” she said as she came into view, “Come on in, Killian. It’s good to see you.”

  “It’s good to see you, too, Mrs. Sheridan,” I said truthfully. “I need to use your phone for a minute, if that’s okay.”

  “Of course it’s okay. Come on, I’ll show you where it is.”I edged past Todd, who still stood in the center of the doorway as if he didn’t want to let me in, and followed Mrs. Sheridan down the hall to the kitchen. Out of the corner of my eye I thought I caught a glimpse of movement at the top of the stairs, but when I looked again there was nothing there. I wondered if it had been my imagination or if Gilly or Jake had been there a second ago.

  In the kitchen, Jamie was perched on a stool stirring something in a big pot on the stove.

  “Hi, Killian,” he chirped. “Are you staying for dinner again? I’m making pasghetti sauce.”

  “Yes, Killian, why don’t you?” Mrs. Sheridan added.

  Obviously she was either blind as to how her three oldest children felt about me or she just didn’t care.

  “Thank you for the invitation, but I have a friend in the car and I really need to get home. Actually, that’s why I’m calling Adam now.”

  “Well, the offer stands anytime,” she said, and then turned to the counter where she was chopping veg-etables for a salad.

  I made a quick call to Adam, which he was very appreciative
of, thanked Mrs. Sheridan again, and beat a hasty retreat — or tried to, at any rate. I almost made it out the door when Gilly called my name. I turned around to see her coming down the stairs looking for all the world like a modern day Scarlett O’Hara from Gone With The Wind — that is if Scarlett had blonde hair and wore tight jeans. I almost expected her to swoon 251

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  and say, “Whatever shall I do? Wherever shall I go?”

  Instead she had me caught in a glare that would have left me dead on the spot if looks could kill. “This may be the last time I ever have the chance to say this while we’re alone and I’m not going to miss it,” she hissed venomously. “I just want to say that you are the lowest scum I have ever met. I can’t believe I ever had a crush on you. You are such a sleaze. You not only cheated on me — with my own brother — but then you turned around and dumped him. God, I hate you. I wish I had told everyone at that damn party just what an asshole you are. You are so lucky that Jake stopped me. Although now I bet he wishes he hadn’t.”

  “Gilly,” I said as soon as she took a breath, “there is so much wrong with that bunch of shit that I don’t even know where to start. So I’m not even going to try. Goodbye, Gilly. I’m sorry you got hurt, but we both knew there was nothing between us from the beginning.”

  “What about me?” Jake asked from the top of the stair-case. “Are you sorry I got hurt? Was there ever anything between us?”

  I looked up at him and I could see the raw pain in his eyes. “Yes,” I said much more gently than I had been with Gilly. “Yes, I am very sorry you got hurt and yes, there was something between us. It just didn’t work out.

  I hope we can be friends again someday.”

  “Oh please. Give it up, Killian,” Todd snarled as he came up behind Gilly. “Your goody-two-shoes act is getting really stale around here. We’ve seen what you’re really like. Now get out and don’t come back again. You aren’t welcome here anymore. I don’t care if your damn car is on fire.”

  I looked up at Jake one last time before I turned to let myself out, but he was gone. The image of his tear-stained face followed me all the way to the car.

  I slumped into the driver’s seat and rested my head 252

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  on the steering wheel.

  “Didn’t go well?” Asher asked.

  “Don’t start,” I said warningly.

  “I’m not trying to. Honest. I’m sorry, Killian.”

  I sighed. “I’m sorry too. And no, it didn’t go well. At all. To say the least.”

  “What happened?”

  “Let’s just say that I had to go through hostile confrontations with almost every member of the family except Jamie.”

  “I’m sorry, baby,” Asher reached over and took my hand.

  “Yeah, me too,” I said with a squeeze back. I sat up, started the car, and drove away without looking back.

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  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Thanksgiving had finally arrived and it was none too soon for me. I woke up early, too excited to stay in bed any longer. I couldn’t wait to see Mom for the first time since she’d moved to Pennsylvania to live with my Aunt Kathy. She had called the night before to make sure it was okay with Adam if she brought one of my cousins for the ride. I’d never even met this particular cousin; Aunt Kathy never liked Dad so we didn’t see her very often, and when she did come down she always left the kids at home. Mom had said they expected to be here a little after noon.

  The time flew by quickly as Steve kept us all busy with preparations for the meal. Altogether we were now expecting 13 people; Adam jokingly called it our very own coven, and Steve commented that he hoped it wouldn’t be our last supper. I lived with a bunch of would-be comedians. We had put all the leaves in the dining table and set up a couple of card tables with table-cloths. Adam and Steve had been cooking since day-break and the whole house was filled with the aroma of roasting turkey and sage.

  We were so busy with our preparations that no one even noticed Mom pull up until we heard the knock on the door. I almost broke my neck trying to answer it. I threw open the door and then threw myself into Mom’s 254

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  arms. After a long hug I stepped back to get a better look at her. She looked fabulous, better than I had ever seen her. Her hair was a little longer than it had been the last time I’d seen her, and she’d had it styled. She was wearing just a hint of make-up - the first I had ever seen her wear — just enough to accentuate her natural beauty. She looked so young and pretty.

  “You look incredible!” I gasped.

  “You don’t have to sound so surprised, you know. I was young when I had you. And you look pretty good yourself there, sport.”

  “True love must agree with him,” Adam said with a grin as he came up behind me. “Hello, Meg. It’s great to see you. I’m so glad you were able to come.”

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Adam.” Then, with a raised eyebrow she turned her attention back to me,

  “And what’s this about true love? I know my baby can’t be in love.”

  I felt a blush creep up my neck as a new voice entered the conversation, “He doesn’t look like a baby to me, Aunt Meg,” said someone who could only be my mystery cousin. I couldn’t even remember his name.

  Mom stepped aside and I caught my first glimpse of whatever-his-name-is. He looked nice. He had wavy blondish hair and bright green eyes that reminded me of cat eyes. He was older than me by a few years at least and also taller, maybe 5’10". He had a look about him that made me think he smiled a lot — as he was doing now. He had a great smile.

  “Killian, this is your cousin Aidan,” Mom said, “He’s thinking about transferring to the college down here for next year.”

  I waved a greeting and he responded by waggling one of the suitcases in his hands.

  “Oh, excuse my rudeness,” Adam exclaimed, “Let me help you with those. Come on in and I’ll show you 255

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  where you’ll be sleeping. I hope you don’t mind sharing a room with Killian and my son Kane.”

  “Sounds like fun,” Aidan said with a laugh as he followed Adam in. Mom and I trailed behind.

  “Aidan, this is Adam,” Mom said a bit belatedly,

  “He’s taken Killian in and I guess you could say he’s been his surrogate father.”

  Kane was in the hallway so our little entourage paused long enough for another round of introductions, which was repeated again a few seconds later as Steve wandered in to see what all the commotion was about.

  Once we had things settled in their rooms, Steve assigned everyone a last minute task. We all worked busily until the first of the guests began arriving. Ilana and Lysander were the first on the scene, arriving with a bottle of wine in hand. Then Asher rolled in. He’d begged off from their big family dinner since things would have probably been a little tense with all the Sheridan clan being there. Everyone else arrived at the same time, which made me wonder if they had come together. They were the two couples from our celebration dinner a few months back, Bryant and Calvin and Heather and Nila.

  They hadn’t changed much except Calvin seemed to have paled even more; his hair was pale blonde with almost white eyebrows and almost colorless blue eyes.

  He looked as if he had faded out and in fact, most of the time he did seem to fade into the background. Bryant was definitely the dominant force in their relationship.

  Heather was also quiet, though not to the extent that Calvin was. Her long brown hair was pulled back into a braid that hung to her waist, and her brown eyes peered out uncertainly from behind her glasses. She was wearing a white shirt and a plaid skirt that made her look like a Catholic schoolgirl. With a little more confidence I thought she could be beautiful, but she would 256

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  always pale in comparison with Nila, her partner. Tonight she looked like a Nubian princess, Aida maybe.

  Her dark bronze skin glowed with health and her exotic good looks made it hard to look away from her.

&n
bsp; She was wearing her hair in many tiny braids with gold beads at the end of each one. The beads complimented the other gold jewelry that she wore — multiple ear piercings, a nose ring, a necklace with a stylized Afri-can animal I thought might be a lion, bracelets on both wrists, one arm cuff, and several rings. With her ankle-length form-fitting white dress, she made a stunning entrance.

  Dinner was fantastic, as I knew it would be. Afterwards, the dishes were left to sit as we all gathered in the living room accompanied by various moans and groans about having eaten too much.

  “Let’s go around the room and each of us say one thing we’re thankful for,” Aidan suggested once we were all settled and in various states of unconsciousness.

  “Let’s not and say we did,” Mom joked, “I think I’m going to fall asleep.”

  “Come on, it’s Thanksgiving,” I said, backing Aidan up.“Just one thing?” Bryant asked mischievously. He threw a lascivious grin at Calvin, who giggled.

  “Yes, just one thing,” Adam said, “and please remember that this is a family show.”

  We all laughed.

  “Who wants to go first?” Kane asked.

  “Why doesn’t Aidan go first since it was his idea?”

  Steve suggested.

  “Okay. I have mine already anyway,” Aidan said,

  “I’m thankful that I have already made so many good friends down here, and I haven’t even moved yet.”

  “Awwwww,” we all said in unison and then burst 257

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  out laughing again.