by Anne Malcom
“Stop struggling Gwen, and what the fuck? I haven’t had my dick in anyplace but your sweet pussy tonight. Although I’m feeling this pussy might be a hell of a lot more trouble than it’s worth.”
His words cut through me, I struggled not to double over, but I kept my brave face.
“Don’t insult me by denying it asshole. Ginger came to see me tonight, filled me in on where ‘your cock’ has been.” I watched Cade’s face harden even more. “And I saw the lipstick on your neck with my own eyes.”
He let me go to stride around the room, fists clenched.
“FUCK!” He yelled, I flinched, slightly afraid. He noted this but didn’t tone it down.
“Didn’t put my dick anywhere near that toxic pussy Gwen.” He stated quietly, looking me in the eyes.
I gulped, suddenly unsure, but still knowing how easy it is for men to lie, I was slightly confused. I wasn’t going to give up though.
“Where were you for the whole night then Cade?” I asked, praying for some sort of explanation.
Cade was still glaring at me, eyes wild.
“Club business Gwen, none of yours.”
I snorted. “None of my business?” My voice was bordering on shrill. “So is it my business when you fuck someone else?” I asked sarcastically.
“She came onto me, pushed that bitch off. Wouldn’t touch that trash when I knew what a sweet piece I had in my bed.”
His grey eyes were piercing into me, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was telling the truth. I didn’t like that I had a small inkling of doubt in my theory.
“Yeah Gwen. See your getting it now.” He spoke slowly. “You’re so fucking quick to judge me, any excuse to question what we have. Take the easy way out. Fuck this, don’t want to have to deal with your shit, no pussy, no matter how sweet is worth this.”
I felt a sick feeling at the pit of my stomach at his harsh words, shit I may have really fucked this up. Cade walked up to me and roughly put a hand on my neck.
“Congrats Gwen. You got what you wanted. I’m gone.”
He kissed me hard and firm, then without a second look, Cade strode out, slamming the door behind him.
I sank into my bed, thoughts racing through my brain, my nightmare, first one in awhile since Cade has been in my life. Cade’s concerned face, outweighing his anger as he woke me. Crap I had been such I bitch! He was right, I was quick to judge, but fuck, he knew what I went through. He was away the whole night then expects me to believe him without further explanation. I let out a frustrated little scream, then promptly burst into tears. I should be glad, his world, the MC the biker, the ‘club business’ the jealous skanks. Death. That was all what I wanted to stay away from. But my feelings for Cade ran deep. Like that dreaded L word. I couldn’t explain it. I’d known him for what three weeks? And we’d been fighting for half of that time. But I guess romance novels and every cliché about men in women were right. Love doesn’t make sense. Now I’d lost it, before I even knew I had it. But this wasn’t entirely my fault. Cade acted like an asshole. This was too much to deal with. I turned to hug my pillow, crying myself to sleep.
Chapter 9
I lay on the sun lounger in my back yard, welcoming the comforting rays of heat against my skin. My ‘relaxing’ playlist sounded in my ears, up loud as I could get it to scare away any unwelcome thoughts. My hands closed around my cold margarita, my body welcoming the chill in the scorching weather. It was Sunday. I spent the whole of Saturday working at the store, trying to act normal, and failing if the girl’s treatment of me was anything to go by. No one mentioned Cade so I guessed he had filled Rosie in. I stayed late on Saturday night, catching up on paperwork, as I had received a text from Amy saying she wouldn’t be home as she was in the middle of a ‘fuckfest’ which made happy that girl needed to get laid.
I couldn’t sleep in an empty house that night, and without any word from Cade my mood was definitely down. I tossed and turned all night, dozed off about four, then woke late. After finishing cleaning the entire house, I looked out at the beautiful weather and decided not to let my black mood ruin a sunny day.
So I mixed up a batch of margaritas, put on my bikini and decided to get a tan and get drunk. I wasn’t planning on doing it alone, but Amy wasn’t answering my texts or phone calls so I guessed she was still busy, that guy had stamina.
So here I was, drinking on my own, trying to focus on the fact I was alive and healthy, not a sad, single, most likely alcohol dependent spinster. The ring tone of my phone interrupted my song and I looked at the display and gave a small smile.
“Alex!” I greeted one of my best friends with false brightness, not wanting him to be concerned about my mental state.
“Gwen.” He rumbled, a classic man greeting. “What’s wrong?” No nonsense, this guy knew me too well.
Unfortunately I hadn’t gotten around to telling him about Cade. Okay I purposefully didn’t tell him. Alex was almost as protective over me as my brother, especially after my suicide attempt. Knowing I was involved with yet another biker would not help settle his mind.
“Nothing,” I chirped, “Just had a late night last night, didn’t get much sleep.” I go for half-truth, I hated lying to my friend.
“Doesn’t sound like nothing,” He persisted.
“Promise, just lack of sleep. Now seriously lets not talk about me, I’m sick of it.” I joked, “how are you? How is Ryan? How is my city?”
I heard Alex’s deep chuckle down the phone. “All good babe. Ryan is missing his two partners in crime though.” He sighed, “He’s driving me crazy, can’t even handle a couple of weeks without you two. I think a visit will be in order in the not too distant future. Not only to see you, but to save my sanity.” He joked.
I let out a little squeal and clapped my hands. “You so have to come!! I have been missing you two as well, Ryan will love our little place, and I’m sure we can find something for you to do, kill some animals or something.” I suggested.
“Animal hunting is more Ian’s territory babe.” Alex replied, making me suddenly remember Ian’s imminent visit. Not that I forgot completely, it was just pushed to the back of my mind.
“Ohmigod Alex!” I shouted.
“Jesus Gwen, don’t pop my eardrums.”
I ignored this since people seemed to say that to me a lot and continued.
“Ian is coming to stay next week! Can you believe it? I haven’t seen him in so long, I have been so worried about him. Now he is coming to stay and gets to see my new life.” I babbled, the only silver lining in my and Cades breakup being I wouldn’t have to deal with Ian’s reaction.
“That’s great Gwen.” Alex didn’t sound too excited.
“Great? Are you kidding me? It’s fucking awesome!”
“Are you going to tell him?” Alex asked seriously.
I immediately knew what he is talking about and my mood plummeted.
“There is no reason to upset him Alex.” I tried not to sound angry but I was kind of pissed. We had talked about this, I didn’t want to put anyone through the trauma of what I almost did.
“He would want to know Gwen.” Alex pushed.
“No Alex he wouldn’t. I couldn’t put him through knowing that I was ready to check out because I couldn’t handle living anymore.” I took a breath, Alex was silent down the phone, so I continued.
“He already has to live with the image of me in that hospital bed, he still somehow blames himself, knowing that I wanted to kill myself is not something I’m going to put on him Alex. Christ I hate that you have to have it on your shoulders.”
“Not a burden Gwen.” Alex said quietly, “Not when I know you are living, laughing again.”
I smiled down the phone.
“Not a burden.” He repeated.
“Please just accept that I won’t tell Ian?”
He paused. “Okay Gwen, your choice.” I breathed a sigh of relief at his response, then quickly changed the subject. We chatted for a couple minutes more then
said our goodbyes, with Alex promising him and Ryan would be down as soon as they could. I blasted my music back up,and continued to suck down my margarita. After an hour or so, I decided the combination of hot sun and a heavy hand with tequila was not a good idea. I was tipsy, well on my way to smashed, and getting smashed on my own was not healthy in the least. So I got up, planning on getting some food and gulping down some water to sober myself up. Headphones still in my ears, I looked up to see a figure standing on the back porch, I screamed my glass went flying, smashing against the tile. Shit we’re not going to have any glasses left if people keep sneaking up on me. My vision focused, Amy was wearing a barely there bikini her mouth was moving as she walked towards me.
“I can’t hear you!” I yelled while I pulled my headphones out.
She approached me, carefully stepping past the broken glass.
“I said, watch the fricking margarita glasses! Those are our most important kitchen item!” She declared hugging me.
I glared back at her. “And where have you been you dirty slut?” I accused, only slurring my words slightly, and waited for the graphic details of her ‘fuckfest’. That girl left nothing out when filling me in on her sex life. She got a weird look on her face that I couldn’t decipher in my almost inebriated state.
“Let me get you another drink and I’ll fill you in.”
I watched as she drained her full glass, raising an eyebrow.
“What?” She asked defensively.
“I have to catch up, you’re three sheets to the wind already you alcoholic!”
I gasped in mock offense. “I am not an alcoholic! Me and alcohol just enjoy a very close relationship.”
She laughed and turned to the house to get us more drinks. A brilliant thought entered my mind.
“Amy!” I yelled at her.
“What?”
“I’ve just had a brilliant idea!” I exclaimed.
She waited a beat and then gestured impatiently “Which is…?”
“Let’s have a pool party!!!” I said. “Girls only.” I quickly added.
“Call Rosie and the girls when you get inside and tell them to come around, we can order pizza or something, I don’t really care about food, as long as we have enough booze.”
Amy grinned at me. “I like the way you think girlfriend.”
I smiled back then added “Oh and bring out a broom as well.”
“What did your last slave die of?”
“Disobedience.” I deadpanned.
I heard her laughter all the way back into the house.
Hours later, our girls only pool party was in full swing, and I was definitely smashed. The sun had set but the weather was still scorching and I was currently lying on an inflatable lilo in the pool watching all my crazy new girlfriends dancing to some pop song under the dim outside lights. I smiled at them all, Amy, Rosie, Lucy, Ashley and a couple of their friends who I had met Friday night, we even managed to rope Lily in, convincing her to just try a margarita. Considering the way she was dancing, she liked them. I watched them a minute more then lay back and watched the stars swirling above me. Wait. I didn’t think stars were meant to swirl. Maybe being this drunk in a pool isn’t the best idea. I paddled down to the shallow end and slid into the chilly water before climbing out.
“Gwen!” Rosie screamed over the music, “Come and dance!” By the look of the way Rosie was moving her body, tequila was definitely winning tonight.
“Just a second!” I yelled back, raising my empty glass. “Need a refill.”
Amy caught my statement. “Might have to make a new batch, I finished the last of it.”
She thought for a second. “Wait.” Her face was serious, so I stopped and faced her.
“What?” I asked, almost concerned.
“We don’t have any margarita mix left!” She cried, and the girls faces all dropped.
I giggled. They all looked like Amy told them she was amputating her left arm.
“No biggie girls, we’ll just go and get some more.” Lucy chimed in, “I’m sober so I’ll go to the liquor store and get some more.”
Amy threw her arms around Lucy before pulling back and holding her shoulders.
“I Love You.” She declared dramatically.
I watched Lucy laugh and grab her keys. “Won’t be long girls.”
“I’ll come too.” I called to Lucy while pulling on my denim cutoffs. I didn’t bother with a top, the weather was still fricking hot, and why did I need one anyway?
I grabbed my purse, slipping my feet into some sandals before following her, slightly unsteadily to her car. We chatted about all sorts on the way to the store before the inevitable came up, the subject I had managed to avoid all night.
“So what’s going on with you and Cade?” Lucy asked carefully, not to be nosey, but out of obvious concern.
I sighed, looking out the window before turning back to her.
“Nothing.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“We broke up.” A drunken giggle spurted out of me. “Although we were barely together.”
Lucy didn’t look convinced. “I’ve known Cade all my life. He has had a lot of girls.” I snorted, massive understatement.
“But the way he looked at you, the way he treated you. You are different. No way he would let you guys break up, after this little time together.”
“Well he did.” I tried not to sound bitchy, “Lets not talk about it okay?”
She glanced at me worriedly a second then nodded her head. “Okay sweetie.”
We pulled into the liquor store, there was a couple of cars outside, it looked almost busy for a Sunday.
I hopped out, tottering towards the store with Lucy by my side. Once we entered I was made aware of my state of undress by the florescent lights and two college age boys at the counter leering at me. Woops. I glanced over at Lucy, who was wearing a white, crochet, see through sundress over her bikini. She obviously didn’t care, so neither should I, I deduced drunkenly. I gave the boys a jaunty wink over my shoulder and their eyes near popped out of their heads. Lucy smacked me playfully.
“Tease.”
She then blew one a kiss.
“Right back at you sister.”
She looked innocently at me.
“They are kind of hot.”
I rolled my eyes, men, or more adequately boys the last thing I needed. “How about you go and get some more precious liquor and I will go and get some chips?” I asked, feeling a sudden hankering for nachos.
“Meet back here in ten.”
I sauntered through the aisles grabbing various foodstuffs I decided I needed until my arms were overflowing with treats. I made my way back to meet Lucy, feeling slightly lost. I turned the corner towards the counter, spotting Lucy, stopping dead when I realize who she was speaking to. Cade stood with his back to me, wearing his usual perfect fit jeans, wife beater and his cut. His muscled, tattooed arms looked good enough to lick, I wonder what they tasted like. No wait I was getting side tracked, stupid alcohol. He was with Bull and Brock, both of whom spotted me just before I was about to hide behind a display of cereal. Shit. They looked me up and down and Brock grinned. What he was grinning about I had no clue and I had no time to ponder it. I began walking again, with no other choice now that they had spotted me. Lucy caught my eyes over Cade’s shoulder. Cade must have caught this and he turned around.
Crap I couldn’t handle this, especially in my drunken state, I would probably forget why I was mad at him and try to lick his bicep. I was about to drop my loot and run from the store when one of the college boys stopped me in my tracks.
I swayed and the boy grasped my shoulders, steadying me.
“Whoa, do you need help honey?” He drawled, checking me out shamelessly.
I returned the favor, he wasn’t bad looking, if you liked that Abercrombie and Finch look. Shiny blonde hair, styled carefully, a pink Ralph Lauren polo shirt, which showed off his lean but muscly arms. His eyes were blue, contrasting w
ith his suspiciously too tan skin. I felt like he spent longer on his hair than I did. Not my type at all.
“Um,” I tried to think of a polite way to turn him down.
“We’re off to a party if you want to come?” He interrupted me, “A sexy woman like you would be more than welcome. We could have some fun you and me.”
I screwed my nose up, not worrying about being polite anymore, this guy was obviously a douche. I opened my mouth to tell him to get lost, when a strong hand pulled on college boys shoulder, yanking him away from me. The motion made me drop all my food. I stared down at the floor, feeling upset at the prospect of picking it all up.
“Get your fucking hands off her.” I heard Cade growl and my head snapped back up to see Cade holding the boy by the collar of his polo shirt, face like thunder.
College boy looked like he was about to pee his pants. A broken laugh erupted from me I couldn’t help it.
Cade’s gaze cut to me a second before turning back to the boy, who was currently struggling to get out of his grip, glancing at Bull and Brock who were at Cade’s back, arms crossed.
“Ssssorry mman.” He stuttered, “ I didn’t realize she was your girl, my mistake.”
Cade let him go and he literally ran out the door. I glared at Cade, not knowing where to start with this ridiculous performance. He dumped me, what does he care that some college kid was hitting on me? Hell I could fuck a whole heap of frat boys if I wanted. Not that I ever would. But I had the right as a single, independent, sexually free woman. That would take far too long to explain to a Neanderthal like him and I wanted to get back to the party and forget this ever happened.
“Well thanks Cade, you made me drop all my precious snacks.” I whined, glancing out the doors to see a Range Rover speeding off, I raised my hand in that direction. “And ruined my chances with my Abercrombie.” I finished, he didn’t need to know I never would have gone near the future stockbroker. I watched as Bull and Brock tried to suppress grins and Lucy’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. Cade’s thunderous glare intensified. I ignored this, bending down to begin picking up my food. I swayed a little and would’ve fallen on my butt if it wasn’t for Cade roughly pulling me up, frowning deeply, his eyes locked on my bikini-clad boobs.