The Sage After Rain A love story

by Hawkes, Jaclyn

  Shrugging off her hand, he said, "I can't go to Las Vegas this weekend, Stacy. I couldn't afford to even if I wanted to. Which I don't. You and Jenna and Justin go without me, but thanks for the invite."

  "Oh c'mon, Matt. Stop being all responsible. Call in sick and spend some of your savings and lighten up for a change. You've gotten so serious that you're not even fun anymore."

  Not even fun anymore were the exact words he could use for her. How had he ever gotten into this mess? "I don't think using my savings to gamble with would be all that great of an idea. Especially the way this project is going. Are you sure you don't want an omelet?" He took his plate to the table.

  Stacy went on, "That project—hey, Carla at work was telling me her boyfriend makes gobs of money being a bartender downtown. He was telling her the more drinks he can get people to buy, the more tips he makes and the drunker they are the bigger the tips. Maybe you could quit this project and go do something like that. Carla says Jose' brings home wads of cash!"

  Taking another bite, he looked at her while he chewed. He didn't think that one even merited an answer. He was unbelievably glad she hadn't agreed to marry him when he'd tried to get her to after realizing they were, in fact, living together. He’d been trying to be honorable, because he was so not a live-in kind of a guy, but she’d said no. Man was he glad. The thought of being stuck in this for life was completely depressing.

  He took another bite and then felt guilty for that thought. He needed to fix this mess. Patching up their relationship was as much his responsibility as hers. Maybe more. He was the one who was out of town nonstop. He tried to make an overture. "How about a movie tonight, Stacy? You and me. No Jenna, no beer. I'll even watch a chick flick."

  "What do you mean a movie? We're going dancing aren't we? Didn't you just hear me make plans on the phone?"

  "I'm sorry, I wasn't listening."

  "That's the problem, Matt. You weren't listening. You can't listen when you’re gone, and you don't listen when you're here."

  Remaining calm, he replied, "Stacy, it was your phone call. Remember? Eavesdropping isn't polite."

  "Don't split hairs, Matt,” she snapped, “And no, I'm not watching a movie with you. I'm going dancing! With or without you!" She tossed her empty can into the garbage that he'd noticed already held several and picked up her purse and keys.

  He immediately got up and pulled the keys out of her hand and sat back down. "How many beers have you had tonight, Stace?"

  She turned on him angrily. "Don't even go there, Mr. holier than thou. How many beers I've had is none of your business!"

  "Tell me how many you've had or I'm not going to give you your keys back." He kept his voice calm and matter-of-fact.

  The calmer he stayed the madder she got sometimes. This was one of those times. She must have had a couple or three already because she said, "I have another set, and you can't stop me!"

  "Stacy, you go out that door and climb into your car and drive off and I'll call the cops on you. And I won't come bail you out of jail." She glared at him, apparently understanding he'd do just exactly what he’d said he would.

  "Fine! Justin or Jenna can drive." She turned away from him and went into the bedroom where he could hear her talking on the phone again. He continued to eat the omelet that had begun to taste like cardboard after this conversation. A few minutes later, she came out of the bedroom and went out the front door, closing it with a resounding slam. The neighbors downstairs were probably going to call the manager again.

  He watched her climb into Justin's little truck in the parking lot. Jenna wasn't in the cab with them and he wondered if his best friend was taking his girlfriend dancing, just the two of them. Either way it was a relief to be rid of her for the night. Justin deserved her. It was him who had helped get him into this situation. Matt realized the tone his thoughts had taken and reminded himself that Stacy moving in here was nobody's fault but his own. Just because he didn't remember inviting her was no excuse. He was the one who had been drinking that night. He'd known better, and could only blame himself. He'd made this mess. He was the one who was going to have to clean it up.

  He tried to tell himself that as he straightened the kitchen, but it still didn't make him want to be here when she got home, even though it was his apartment. He debated whether to go in and go to bed and deal with her when she came in drunk in the middle of the night, or leave tonight to head back to the project site two and a half hours away and deal with the men there who weren't going to be a whole lot better. He finally rationalized that at least the guys weren't going to come get in bed with him like she would and he loaded up some clean clothes and went out and climbed back into his Jeep. He wished he had listened to his mother more when she tried to encourage him to get away from Justin. He'd have never messed things up like this.

  As he pulled out of his apartment complex, he shook his tired head and sighed. Geez, he needed to quit feeling so guilty about this and just tell her to leave, although who knew what kind of theatrics she’d go into?

  The next morning he wondered if he'd made the right choice after all. One of the guys hadn't even come back from wherever it was they'd been partying and the other two were hung over and surly beyond belief. None of the three ended up going out to work and it was just Matt and the helicopter pilot again when they took off. He was never going to be able to pull this thing out by the project deadline by himself.

  He was the office guy anyway. He was only supposed to analyze the data, not have to gather it too. His boss, the main contractor, was lying in there in that two bit motel nursing a hangover, while Matt was out here doing their jobs and his too. He'd been pouring his heart and soul into this deal, at first in hopes of making a lot of money. Now he merely hoped he would be able to make anything for all the ridiculous hours he had put in trying to keep the project on the table.

  Just then the helicopter topped the ridge to reveal a breathtaking pink and orange sunrise that reflected all across the valley floor. It filled the whole front window of the chopper with fiery color, and erased his black mood instantly. If he'd been stuck in some office back in Steamboat, he'd never have been able to see something like that as he flew in a helicopter across the desert. He dug his camera out and photographed it and reminded himself that he had a lot to be thankful for. He wished he could pray again just to say thanks when he saw things like this, but there was no way he could pray when he was living the way he was.

  Chapter 3

  Before she even knew she was waking up, Taya became overwhelmed with a confusing mix of emotion and pain. She was sad, and confused, and frightened, and oh man did her left hand hurt. She fought through the disjointed images and struggled to open her eyes and even when she got them opened, something was wrong. The one wasn’t working very well. It felt fat and her vision was distorted.

  The pain in her left hand was over the top and she lifted her hand to cradle it to her body and realized it was completely swallowed in a cumbersome cast and wrapping. She felt herself grimace in pain and confusion. Then it started to come back to her. John had hit her. The police had come and talked to her for what seemed like hours. She’d had to have emergency surgery.

  Tears welled in her eyes as she looked around in confusion, wondering where she was and hoping that the memory of her parents leaving her bleeding on John’s office floor was simply a nightmare. A vivid, heartbreaking nightmare.

  Even as she hoped that, she knew somehow beyond her fuzzy head and swollen eye that it was all too real. Her parents really had walked out on her last night. She settled the cast on her left hand onto the bed in front of her and closed her eyes again, feeling the tears seep out. Her own parents really had left her lying there and had gone with John, even with her hand shattered and her head bleeding.

  She heard a sound and opened her eyes again to see her dear friend Madeline leaning over her bed, a sad smile on her face as she said, “Good morning, lazy bones. Are you finally going to wake up?” She wrapped a
soft hand beneath Taya’s neck and gave her a gentle partial hug. “Hi, princess. It’s good to see those pretty blue eyes.”

  Madeline pulled back and looked down at Taya and added, “Okay, well, so only one of your eyes is pretty, but the other one will come around in a few days. Welcome to Colorado.”

  Taya grimaced again and asked in a voice that made her throat hurt, “Colorado? You’re kidding How did you get involved in this mess?”

  Shaking her head, Madeline said, “You put me down as the emergency contact at the hospital. And no, I’m not kidding. For once, I wish I was, girl. You’ve had quite a couple of days. But it is wonderful to see you. I just wish it wasn’t under these circumstances. How are you feeling?”

  Taya groaned. “Rough. Couple of days? Really? What day is it?”

  “Monday. All day.” Madeline reached for a pill bottle that sat on the table next to the bed. “Some pain medication will help. I was supposed to give you one of these a couple of hours ago, but you didn’t wake up. They’d given you some pretty stiff stuff to last you through the flights and ride here and you’ve been mostly zonked. I was beginning to worry.” She handed Taya a pill and then a glass of water and said, “Take this and I’ll go get you something to eat with it or it might make you sick. You want to sit up some?”

  Taya struggled to sit up and Madeline propped pillows behind her and then left the room and Taya looked all around. She didn’t recognize the room and wondered where Madeline’s husband and children were. She yawned and sighed and closed her one pretty and one swollen eyes. What was she doing in Colorado? She couldn’t even remember making arrangements to come here.

  ****

  “The witness protection program? Like the federal witness protection program? Like the FBI or something? And my father was indicted too?” Taya couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

  The slightly balding man with the power issues standing in front of her in the guest room of Madeline’s in-laws’ cabin simply took a step toward her and extended a small wallet. He flipped it open to reveal an official looking badge and said drily, “Just like the FBI or something. That shouldn’t surprise you after the kinds of things your hotshot fiancé was involved in. And yes, your slick conniving father. It’s either hide and testify. Or you go down with them.”

  Taya’s eyebrows shot up at his attitude and it made her swollen eye hurt, but she sat up straighter and said firmly, “Don’t you even dare threaten me, Mr. hotshot FBI agent. I don’t care if you’re one of the Royal Canadian Mounties. This is still America, buddy, no matter how much we mess it up, and we still live by the Constitution. I’ve done nothing. I am innocent—until proven guilty in a court of law and one little badge doesn’t make you . . .”

  The other man in the room held up a calming hand and said to the badge holder, “Back off, Reid. She was the victim. Remember? We wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for her. She’s the one who called us in. And was willing to press charges. Just because she was engaged to him, doesn’t make her an accomplice. She’s right. This is America. And as of yet, she looks clean.”

  Under his breath, Reid said, “Too clean if you ask me. Mormon, really? That’s a set-up if I’ve ever seen one.”

  The other man rolled his eyes and to Taya he said, “Sorry, Ms. Kaye. And yes, the witness protection program. Your fiancé was into some thoroughly deep stuff with some truly dangerous people. If you saw anything at all of what he was into, you probably already have a contract out on your life. Mr. Channing played with the big dogs. And if you follow through with your assault charges, it won’t matter what you saw. They’ve been using him to sway legislation and if he loses this election they’re sunk. They’ll need you out of the way. You’d be wise to let us put you in the program.”

  Taya shook her head silently, still troubled by the whole idea. How could she really matter either way? Sure, she’d seen a couple things that had seemed weird at the time, but they hadn’t seemed that dastardly—unless you factored in that John had apparently been wheeling and dealing with big labor, and the waterfront boys and even the very highway contractors he’d been fuming about that night.

  At least that’s what they were saying they had found on his phone and paperwork. But there was no question about whether she’d press assault charges. She didn’t feel she even had a choice. She’d believed her whole life that you either stood up for right or you caved and right couldn’t prevail. It was a matter of principle. There was no way around it if she wanted to keep her self respect, danger or no. There were worse things than sacrificing personal safety—like sacrificing the decency of society.

  It was indeed frightening. She hoped part of that fear was just that she was on pain medication and a little out of it. The most troubling thing of all was that when she glanced back at the FBI agent Reid, she was nearly as anxious about him as she was about John’s questionable contacts. Just the thought of voluntarily walking into a life of having to trust strangers like him made her mentally put on all kinds of brakes.

  Suddenly, she was painfully tired. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back as she considered and then opened them to ask, “Are there any other options”

  The kinder man nodded slowly. “Of course. You can not go into the program and take your chances on your own. We would still help you with whatever you wanted as far as staying under the radar. But I have to tell you, the odds are, you won’t be able to stay away from them. You have no experience in knowing how to disappear. We’re professionals at this. If they find you, you’re probably dead. At that point, John Channing might walk.”

  “Do I have to decide on this right this second? Can I have a while to think about it?”

  Reid made a sound of disgust that grated on Taya’s nerves and made her hesitate even more and his partner threw him a stony glare and said, “Take as long as you need. But keep in mind that the longer you stay, here, the more likely they are to find you and put your friend and her family at risk. And don’t try to contact anyone by phone or electronically. Just assume that if you leave any kind of a footprint, they’re gonna to get hold of it. And definitely no Facebook and Tweeting and Pinning photos. That kind of thing is how people get caught every time, both the good guys and the bad guys. You’ll get somebody killed. You need to basically fall off the face of the planet. I know that sounds harsh, but we’re talking about your life here. And the lives of your friends and co-workers.”

  Taya sighed, “Geez, you weren’t kidding about falling off the planet. I’m not huge into social media anyway, but what about my company? You want me to just walk away from it? With no friends or family, how am I to stay sane? And we’ve worked hard to build up our firm. Walking away would destroy it.”

  The amiable agent asked, “Do you have to send everything on-line? Can’t you work off-line and ship your engineered plans by snail mail?”

  “Of course. The plans have to be stamped anyway. But how can I ship anything without leaving a trail?”

  “Just send it through your contact at the Bureau. And remember, it’s not forever. We just need to keep you safe long enough to get through both of John Channing’s trials and his re-election bid. At that point, you get your life back. Once the trial and election are over, you won’t be a threat to them and there’ll be no reason to pay a contract on you. And even organized crime works around the money.” He gave her an apologetic look. “Sorry, I know that sounds horrible when you put it that way. But it’s true.”

  She shook her head, fighting the sadness that was burying her and said, “It’s okay. I understand.” Her life back. Her entire life as she knew it had already disintegrated the moment John hit her and her parents walked out. How did you get anything back from that? What would you want back from that? At this point, wasn’t it simply a matter of coming to terms with the fact that apparently what she’d thought was her life hadn’t been her life at all. To her fiancé and her parents, she was obviously the disposable portion of the situation. She couldn’t help the tears that welled in
her eyes.

  The kinder agent looked across at Reid and said, “Let’s let her rest. She’s still recovering from surgery, remember?”

  Still glowering, Reid followed his partner out the door and Taya looked up at Madeline and shook her head. “What do I do now? How did a nice girl like me get into a mess like this?”

  Madeline grinned. “I haven’t got a clue—about either one. I’d suggest you get on your knees and ask for inspiration. And then stay where it’s quiet enough that you can listen for God’s answer. Or go where it’s quiet enough. With Reid around, here might not be the best place for pondering. Take Zan up on his offer to take you out to see the sheepherders. It doesn’t get any more peaceful than that.”

  Chapter 4

  Fourteen days after arriving in Colorado Taya stood facing west and watched a helicopter fly over as the last rays of the sun painted the evening sky mauve and gold above the rocky desert below. Turning, she settled into a canvas chair beside her fire with a satisfied sigh, looked around her camp and thought back on her life. In two short weeks, she’d gone from being engaged to a U.S. congressman in Maryland, to literally camping in the high desert of western Colorado. It was as opposite a lifestyle as she could imagine.

  She had gone from being a structural engineer who owned half of an engineering firm to the near unbelievable situation of now hiding out as a nomadic sheepherder. It was crazy enough that it felt brilliant. No one who knew her before would ever suspect she’d do something like this. It was an incredible and yet completely refreshing change of lifestyle.