Secrets and Lies

by Janet Woods

  ‘You forget that Denton adopted Meggie when she was a baby. Although she knows who her father is, she thinks of herself as an Elliot. I’ll tell her when she’s sixteen and old enough to understand things better, that’s soon enough.’

  ‘What if she learns of the connection before then . . . from Major Henry himself perhaps?’

  Livia smiled. ‘If he as much as breathes a word of it I’ll turn him out of the cottage, and he’ll have nowhere else to go. This conversation is now at an end, Esmé. As I’ve told you before, it’s none of your business. Pass me a sprig of parsley, if you would.’

  Amid an atmosphere of slight awkwardness, Livia took the eggs from the stove, plunged them into cold water and began to peel the shells from them. Cutting them in half she laid them on a bed of parsley.

  Esmé noticed the exasperation in her sister’s eyes. There was more to this than met the eye. She knew it. ‘If you ever need someone to talk to in confidence, I’m all grown-up now.’

  Livia looked her straight in the eye. ‘Then act it. I have Denton to confide in. From the goodness of his heart, he took you and Chad in and treated you as part of our family. You’ve done well and we’re proud of you, but don’t think that responsibility has always been easy. Although you’re still welcome in our home now you’re able to support yourself, I’d like to remind you that you’re Meggie’s aunt. As such, you have no say in my daughter’s upbringing. Is that understood?’

  Livia had never been so straightforward with her, or so resentful-sounding. In one fell swoop she’d built a barrier between them, and it hurt like hell. Tears pricked her eyes. Everything Livia had said was true,

  Esmé nodded and said into the frosty atmosphere, her voice thick with unshed tears, ‘You couldn’t have made it clearer, Livia . . . sorry. I wasn’t trying to interfere, and you know I’m grateful for all you’ve done for me. So is Chad.’

  They rarely quarrelled, and eventually Livia heaved a sigh. ‘I didn’t mean it Es. I know you have a special relationship with Meggie . . . you helped her into the world and she adores you.’

  ‘No . . . you were right. I’ve taken you and Denton for granted. When you took Chad and me out of the orphanage it was like having a mother. Then there was Richard Sangster, who was so wonderful to us while he lived – and then darling Denton, who we adored at first sight, and still do. I’m a selfish pig.’

  She was folded in a fierce, brief hug. ‘You know you’re always welcome here, Es. I don’t know what I’d do without you.’

  ‘Yes, you do . . . you have Meggie and the boys to keep you busy.’

  There was a brief pause, and then, ‘Yes, I do have the boys . . . and Meggie.’ Livia arranged the sandwiches on a tray and picked up the plate. ‘Come on, let’s take this food through into the dining room, else we won’t get to eat it until next year.’

  As they went out with the trays there was a scuffle at the top of the stairs, and a movement in the shadows.

  ‘Is that you, Meggie?’ Livia called, her voice sharpened by the thought that her daughter may have overheard something she shouldn’t have.

  There was no answer, but after a moment Shadow came down the stairs. He gave a stretch, his chest flattening against the floor in an elegant bow, his back end rearing high in the air. Going to stand by the front door, he gazed expectantly back at them, tail wagging.

  ‘You certainly pick your moments to go outside,’ Livia grumbled. ‘I’ll be back to open the door when I’ve got rid of this food tray.’

  The rug had been rolled up and removed leaving the parquetry floor exposed, which made an ideal surface for dancing on.

  The younger people gravitated towards each other and soon the gramophone was going at full blast as they energetically applied themselves to the latest dance tunes from the Jack Payne orchestra, while the older generation sailed more sedately around the floor in matched steps.

  Esmé didn’t allow Matron’s presence to lessen her enjoyment of the party as she lost herself amongst the other swirling short skirts.

  Champagne corks popped. Somebody grabbed her hand when a Charleston started, and Leo Thornton rumbled softly into her ear, ‘Chad said you’re a dab hand at this. Let’s give it a go then.’

  He was loose-limbed and uninhibited, and soon they had a circle of people round them as they all frantically applied themselves to releasing their pent-up energy. Matron was jiggling around on the outskirts, tittering into her champagne.

  It reached a crescendo with a countdown from twenty, and as the clock struck midnight everyone shouted ‘Happy New Year!’

  Leo’s timing was perfect. As the clock finished chiming he took her into his arms and kissed her. Considering he’d hardly spoken to her all evening it was rather a long and intimate kiss, but she enjoyed it.

  Then someone came between them. ‘Don’t keep her all to yourself, Leo.’ She parted with the Australian reluctantly, blushing a little when Chad grinned at her and kissed her cheek. ‘Be careful of Leo, he’s got a way with women,’ he said against her ear in a voice loud enough for Leo not to have missed. Esmé had the feeling he was warning Leo, rather than her.

  Everyone hugged and kissed each other and welcomed in 1934 with Auld Lang Syne.

  Esmé wondered what the New Year would bring, apart from the fact that she and Chad would officially become adults. Perhaps she would go to Australia with Minnie for a couple of years on a working holiday. If Leo was staying for the weekend, which he probably was, she could ask him about the place.

  By the time she returned Chad would be well on his way to becoming a GP. Dr Elliot the elder had promised to employ him during his holidays so he could gain some experience, and Esmé had planned to work for them. She gave a tiny sigh. Oh dear, the future seemed all very dull and safe. She must make sure she never married a doctor, because she was up to the ears in them already. Then, when her eyes met Leo’s and he grinned, and winked at her, she thought: Well . . . she could always be persuaded to change her mind if need be.

  Six months later, when the air was perfumed with flowers and the country was a choir of summer colours, Esmé’s life took an unexpectedly dramatic turn.

  Two

  1934

  Esmé concentrated on the button she was sewing on her blouse, only half listening to Minnie’s prattle.

  The first half of the year had sped by. As usual, there had been scandalous rumours about the Duke of Windsor and Mrs Simpson. In January over 10,000 people had attended a rally in London, arranged by the Blackshirt, Oswald Mosley. There were scuffles, and violence. More recent news was that several squadrons were to be added to the Royal Air Force, as part of a new defence programme.

  ‘Defence of what?’ she asked Denton.

  He shrugged. ‘There’s a lot going on in the world, poppet. It’s better to be prepared, in case there’s another war.’

  Esmé didn’t like thinking about war, because she remembered what the last one had done to Richard Sangster.

  Having passed her midwifery course, Minnie was doing time in emergency, and bubbling over with gossip of the latest medical mishaps. ‘Liam Denison was brought into emergency after he gashed his arm. He’s such a nice man, and is the entertainment director on a ship. He was about to audition dancers when he had his accident.’ In her usual friendly and open manner Minnie had struck up a conversation with him.

  Esmé was more reserved than her friend when she was at work, aware that her behaviour would reflect back on her brother-in-law. She bit through the cotton, murmuring, ‘How did he cut his arm?’ Not that she was all that interested, since drama wasn’t hard to come by in the emergency ward.

  ‘He slipped in some liquid on the bathroom floor, put out his arm to stop himself from falling and it went through a mirror. It took eight stitches, but there was no nerve damage, thank goodness. It’s exciting having a dance director in the hospital, even if he is an outpatient.’

  ‘You think having a dance director who loses his sense of balance getting out of the bathtub
is exciting? I pity his partner.’

  ‘It could happen to anyone. He’s really nice, and handsome; sort of neat and well-muscled, like a greyhound.’

  ‘And here was I, thinking it was his arm you were looking after.’ Esmé smiled at Minnie’s enthusiasm until Minnie handed his card to her. In embossed blue on white it stated: Liam Denison. Director of Entertainment. Blue Horizon Line. There was a drawing of the front end of a ship in the corner.

  With studied casualness Minnie said, ‘Liam indicated he might be able to get me a job as a children’s nurse on board the ship he’s on. All it will take is a phone call, since they haven’t finished interviewing crew. The ship is called Horizon Queen. Isn’t that romantic?’

  ‘You’d be on the ship to work, not as a passenger.’

  ‘Yes . . . but we’d get some time off. The ship doesn’t sail for eight weeks, which would give us time to work out our notices. He was in Poole auditioning a couple of dancers when he had his accident. He said they weren’t suitable. I told him he should audition you. So he’s going to.’

  ‘You must be crazy. I’m not a trained dancer. Besides, I’ve more or less accepted the ward nurse’s job here.’

  ‘They can get someone else for that. And you don’t have to be a trained dancer because he wants a ballroom dancer. Liam said his partner would have to do a demonstration dance with him, and then teach the dance to the passengers. Just think, Esmé. We could go on a cruise, and end up in Australia. He said being a nurse would be an added bonus since you’d be expected to do other jobs on the ship, such as help out in the doctor’s surgery, or the dining room – anywhere you’re needed. Do say you’ll come Esmé. We’ve always talked about going to Australia, and this way we’ll get our passage paid at the same time.’

  Going to Australia was something Minnie had wanted, rather than herself. All the same, the idea had merit. It would be an adventure. It wasn’t as though she wouldn’t know anyone there, and she smiled when Leo Thornton came to mind.

  Caution crept in on her. ‘I can’t just go off with a man I don’t know. My family would be furious.’

  ‘Oh, for goodness sake, Esmé Carr, you do jump to conclusions. You wouldn’t be going off with a man you’d simply be changing your job. Besides which, I rather fancy this man myself, so hands off.’

  So far Esmé never had time to fit a boyfriend into her life. She’d never gone looking for one and assumed it would all just happen one day . . . courtship, love, marriage and family. There had been the occasional approach from a young doctor or a patient, which hadn’t been encouraged. Her training had never been disrupted by the emotional pull of falling in love, unlike Minnie, who seemed to fall in love with every other man she met. Her life had been calm in comparison, well, almost.

  Boring was a good word to describe it, she thought. Sedate, even. Her stomach was already awash with nerves at the thought of stepping out of her safe little world, and her instinct was to refuse. ‘I’ll think about it.’

  ‘Not for too long. He’s leaving in a day or two. He wants to see you tomorrow if you’re interested. It’s our day off and I said we’d meet him at the tea dance at Bournemouth Pavilion.’

  ‘You could have asked me first.’

  ‘What better way is there to find out if you can dance? And don’t say you’ve got nothing to wear. Ordinary clothes will do, and you’ve got that blue suit with the side pleats and scalloped collar.’

  There was no harm in going to the tea dance, she thought, since it wouldn’t be the first time.

  Minnie borrowed one of Esmé’s dresses and her spare pair of silk stockings, and off they went, catching the Bournemouth bus from outside the hospital.

  It was a warm afternoon, and the pier stretched out into the sparkling sea. Deck chairs littered the sand, and although it was only the beginning of summer, quite a few people paddled with their children or built castles in the sand.

  Across the road from the beach, people strolled unhurriedly arm in arm in the gardens, and in the flower-beds the blooms opened their colours to the sun. The stream sparkled as it made its way through the gardens to the sea.

  Liam Denison was about twenty-three, with blue eyes. Those eyes widened and he stared at her for several seconds without saying anything, which was rather disconcerting. The grin he eventually offered her was wry, and slightly self-mocking. ‘Miss Esmé Carr, I take it.’

  ‘It’s nice to meet you, Mr Denison.’

  ‘Likewise.’ His friend was introduced as Eric Blair. Quiet and polite, he had a flop of straight brown hair.

  There was a faint sense of familiarity about Liam, as though they’d met before, though Esmé couldn’t remember where.

  ‘Have you had any dance training, Miss Carr?’

  ‘I did a year at ballet school when I was thirteen. It was an interest rather than a desire to become a classical dancer. I prefer ballroom dancing. We had lessons at school, but it was more of a free-for-all. Most of my dancing experience comes from family parties and dance halls.’

  His sigh had a dismissive sound to it, and Minnie leapt to her defence. ‘Esmé can dance really well.’

  ‘So you said. But she’s an amateur, and I’ll need to judge that for myself. If you don’t mind, Miss Carr, I’ll ask you to dance with Eric first. I want to see how you move from a spectator point of view. Can you foxtrot?’

  He’d chosen the most difficult dance, and she didn’t blame him. She could dance it well. But as he’d pointed out, she was an amateur. ‘You’re throwing me in at the deep end, are you? I know all the dances, including Latin American. Most of the student nurses go to the local dance hall on their night off. However, I don’t want to waste your precious time.’ She picked up her bag.

  ‘No . . . wait! I’m sorry if I’ve upset you. It was unintentional.’ He shrugged. ‘Stay.’

  When she placed her bag down on the table, he smiled at her. ‘What about tango? I want to choreograph one as a demo dance.’

  ‘I know the basic moves. I love the tango; it’s dramatic, and I’d be eager to learn something more advanced.’

  ‘Good. Now, you do realize this is not permanent, don’t you? My regular partner is also my fiancée, and she’ll be rejoining me in time. We’ll have to leave Pam in England, because she’s broken her ankle.’

  The two men exchanged a glance, and although Esmé wondered why, she said, ‘Broken ankles take a while to heal. I hope your fiancée soon improves.’

  As soon as the music started, Eric led her out on to the floor. He was good. He kept her in a firm hold as he led her through the foxtrot, so even the most intricate of steps came easily to her.

  There was a spattering of applause for the band before they went into a quickstep.

  ‘I think she’ll do,’ Eric said, leading her back to her seat.

  ‘I told you so,’ Minnie said.

  Liam nodded. ‘So you did, Miss James.’

  ‘I thought I told you to call me Minnie.’

  He said easily, ‘It’s best to keep things on a professional footing. Formality will be expected on board during working hours, and it becomes a habit. We’re there to serve the passengers, not to enjoy ourselves.’ He turned to Esmé. ‘Your footwork and timing isn’t bad but you’re a bit stiff at the moment. We’ll see what your tango is like, Miss Carr.’

  ‘I’m stiff because I haven’t danced for a while.’ She wondered why she was making excuses to him, when she didn’t care if she got the job or not. ‘Is your arm up to it?’

  ‘Be careful with it, and follow my lead,’ he said, as he took her out on to the floor.

  ‘You should be resting it until the stitches are out,’ the nurse in her said, and he smiled. ‘I won’t tell the doctor if you don’t. It’s well bandaged, and it’s almost healed.’

  Once again, her partner’s professionalism saw Esmé through, and she appreciated the difference having a good dancing partner made. Liam Denison was sensible enough not to demand anything too dramatic on this occasion. But she forg
ot her feet when they found the passion in the tango music. Absorbing it she concentrated on the story in the music, and when they finished dancing and he took her back to the table, the other dancers applauded.

  She blushed. ‘Oh, my goodness.’

  Liam grinned. ‘You’d better get used to it.’

  ‘You looked as though you were besotted with each other,’ Eric said. ‘Be careful Pam doesn’t see you dancing like that with another woman.’

  When Liam laughed, Minnie looked peeved.

  There was an interval for tea, when they talked over general things. ‘Your dancing needs to improve, but that will come with practice, since you anticipate and follow well. Believe me, you’ll be rehearsed until you’re perfect, and half-dead from fatigue. You trust me, which is a good thing because you will need to in some of the lifts.’

  ‘I enjoyed dancing with you both.’

  ‘Good. We’ll go through the contracts with you.’

  ‘But . . . I haven’t had time to decide yet.’

  He looked puzzled. ‘I thought that was why you were here . . . to be auditioned. I must know now, otherwise I’ll have to find somebody else, and quickly. We’ll have to rehearse quite a lot before the ship sails.’

  ‘Oh, for goodness sake, don’t be such a ninny. For once, do what you want to do, not what your family want you to do.’ Minnie dug her in the ribs with her elbow. ‘Of course she’ll come, won’t you, Esmé?’

  ‘If it would put their mind at rest, I’d be quite happy to meet your family,’ Liam said. ‘When’s your next day off?’

  ‘Next Tuesday.’

  ‘Oh, come on, Es. If you won’t come, I’m not going either. Say yes, then tell them after.’

  She gave in to her friend, realizing she was allowing Minnie to make up her mind for her. ‘Yes . . . all right . . . I suppose so. I’ll want to read the contract first.’

  ‘You’re showing good sense, Miss Carr. Don’t forget food and quarters are included.’